These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Thursday, August 01, 2024
August Happiness Challenge: Day 1
Wednesday, July 31, 2024
Thursday Thirteen #370
Thirteen August Happiness Icons. Every year I participate in the August Happiness Challenge. The idea behind the challenge is simple but powerful: "Each day in August, post something that makes *you* happy. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities and our world."
You're invited to join me. Visit my daily August Challenge post with a link to your daily August happy and I'll come read it. It helps to add a happiness icon to your August Challenge posts. Here are ones I've used over the years. And yes, scrolling through them makes me happy.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
11.
12.
13.
This year's is a nod to my love of classic movies.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
Tuesday, July 30, 2024
WWW.WEDNESDAY
WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading? Once Upon a Time by Elizabeth Beller. Twenty five years after her death, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy gets her own biography. Beller's premise is that Carolyn didn't get a fair shake from the press in her lifetime, and that we've evolved as a country to the point that we may be able to understand her better.
In real time, the press portrayed her as a bitch. A demanding ice goddess who harshed the buzz we all got from America's prince. There's even a school of thought that Carolyn was responsible for her own death, as well as the deaths of her husband and sister. They took off late that July afternoon and missed the daylight John needed for a safe flight because she was (wait for it) having her pedi done and redone.
This book is decidedly pro-Carolyn, something the author doesn't deny. As I read this, I can't help thinking of Meghan Markle and Linda McCartney. We can be hard on women who don't conform with our ideal of who should marry our favorite men.
2. What did you recently finish reading? Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death by M.C. Beaton. Locals come from miles around to fill their flasks with the mineral water that flows from a natural spring. A corporation takes note and makes plans to bottle and sell the water. Because she's not only a local but a PR wiz, they hire Agatha Raisin to help them with the new product launch. This is important because not everyone in Ancombe is enthusiastic about the project. In fact, some who opposed it ends up dead.
I liked this edition of the series because I guessed the killer straight away. While I felt brilliant, I must confess that I didn't base my conclusion on evidence. I just didn't like that character. But still, a good time was had by all.
Monday, July 29, 2024
Teaser Tuesday
Here's how to play.
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death by MC Beaton. My girl Agatha kinda has the blues. She's a little bored in retirement and her next door neighbor/former fiancee James is pointedly ignoring her. As she has a lonely breakfast of black coffee and cigarettes, she bargains with God. If only James would notice her again, she'd do anything. Even give up the smoking James loathed.
The doorbell rang. Perhaps He had heard her prayer. She stubbed out her cigarette.
"Last one," she said loudly to the ceiling.
She opened the front door. Mrs. Darry was standing there.
"I wondered if you could do me a favor, Mrs. Raisin."
"Come in," said Agatha bleakly. She led the way to the kitchen, sat down, and gloomily lit another cigarette.
Mrs. Darry sat down. "I would be grateful if you refrained from smoking."
"Tough," said Agatha. "This is my house and my cigarette. What do you want?"
"Don't you know you are killing myself?"
Agatha looked at her cigarette and then at Mrs. Darry. "As long as I am killing myself I'm not killing you. Out with it. What do you want?"
Except for the fact that I hate smoking, Agatha is my id.
Sunday, July 28, 2024
An interesting way to start the day
OH. MY. GOD! The welt was flame red. The welt was not only not red yesterday, it wasn't even there. It grew like this overnight.
Last Monday or Tuesday, I noticed a little something back there. Like a tiny scab. I'd gotten a haircut Saturday and thought maybe my stylist nicked me with the scissors. When it didn't go away, I started rubbing OTC hydrocortisone cream on it. And didn't give it any thought until this morning, when it had suddenly grown into a big, hard, red welt.
My body chemistry is a little weird. I'm very allergic to bee sting and carry an epipen with me at all times. When visiting Dallas decades ago, I got bit by an ant and my foot swelled, but it happened almost instantly. The lag time this time bothered me. I never felt a bug bite or sting me. Why is my body reacting at least 5 days after the fact?
Also, the back of my neck is near my spine and my brain. If for some reason blood poisoning is coursing through my system, I don't like the proximity.
So I tried to calm down. I took a shower. I fed the cats. I put extra food and extra water down, just in case I was going to be away for a while. Then I went to the ER.
I hear horror stories all the time about Emergency Rooms, how they're full of moaning and sick people, how long the wait times are. But that is not at all what I experienced. I got there at 10:00 and by 11:30, I was off to Walgreen's, prescription in hand.
As I suspected, it's an allergic reaction to a bug bite of some kind. The welt is my body's way of "circling the wagons" to contain the poison in one area. Since I didn't have a fever and my lymph nodes felt normal, the NP was confident that the allergic reaction had remained local. But she said I was wise to come in when I did. There is no guarantee that it wouldn't spread. She prescribed a corticosteroid and heat treatments.
I got home, applied the cream, ate a little leftover pizza, and fell asleep. For four hours. Being scared is exhausting!
I'm pissed that my Sunday is gone, but I'm also grateful.
• I live in a neighborhood where quality healthcare is minutes away.
• For Medicare and my Medicare supplement plan. No one talked to me about money at the hospital, and the prescription cream cost me $2.
• My friend John's example. He never went to the doctor until he was absolutely forced to. He was afraid of what he would hear. He died in April, and I will never believe this outcome couldn't have been avoided or forestalled. I'm not saying God took him as an example, because I'm sure God doesn't work that way. But I do believe I'm meant to learn from and avoid John's suffering.
• I'm likely going to be OK. If this redness and swelling haven't lessened by Wednesday, I'm supposed to contact my dermatologist. That doesn't sound too scary, does it?
Friday, July 26, 2024
Saturday 9
Saturday 9: Nevertheless (I'm in Love with You) 1969
Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.
1)
In this song, Liza Minnelli acknowledges that she may be "taking a terrible chance." Have you done anything risky lately? Nothing comes to mind.
2) In 1969, when Liza recorded this song, she was 23 and her career was really beginning to take off. She was a sought-after guest on TV talk and variety shows and received her first Oscar nomination. Give us a quick overview of your life at 23. My life changed so much that year, it depends on which month. In November, when I turned 23, I was a rather sullen secretary at Sears, Roebuck and Co. at Sears Tower. I loved working in the city and in that iconic building, but I was always broke and had little respect for the man I worked for. In June, I was promoted to catalog copywriter and my world changed. It was like that moment in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy opens the door and the world changes from black and white to color. By the following November, when I turned 24, I had a career instead of a job, I was making money and wearing new clothes, and I'd fallen in love.
3)
Also in 1969, the first Gap store was opened in San Francisco. What
have you recently added to your wardrobe? If yes, where did you buy it? I bought a pair of Nikes at DSW.
4) Liza says she always has apple juice in her refrigerator. What's something you're certain to have in your frig? Coke.
5) Liza's favorite card game is poker. What's yours? Canasta.
6) Though Liza recorded the song in 1969, "Nevertheless (I'm in Love with You)" was written way back in 1931. It has been recorded more than 50 times by artists as diverse as Bing Crosby, Andy Gibb and Bob Dylan. Before today, had you heard it? I prefer Sinatra's version to Liza's. It's more intimate and less performative. Francis always sounds like he's talking to me, whereas Liza sounds like she's aiming at the last row of the balcony.
7) "Nevertheless (I'm in Love with You)" is credited to Bert Kalmer and his partner, Harry Ruby. Another one of their hits was "Who's Sorry Now?" Do you owe anyone an apology? I don't think so. Though I owe my cousin a letter and my friend Elaine an email. Maybe I should apologize for being neglectful?
8)
Together they also wrote "Hooray for Captain Spaulding," sung onscreen by Groucho Marx in the movie Animal Crackers. There were five Marx Brothers in all. How many can you name? Gummo, Zeppo, Groucho, Chico and Harpo.
9) Random question: Do you believe talking to plants helps them grow? Nope. But I'll be honest: I have no strong feelings either way.
Time for Joy 2024
Every year I take the August Happiness Challenge. Here's a brief explanation of the Challenge: "Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world."
You're invited to join me. Visit me with a link to your daily August happy, and I'll come read it. I've found that experiencing other peoples' everyday pleasures is a great mood lifter.It helps if your August Happiness Challenge posts are marked with an icon. Just something that means "happy" to you. Here's a pair of my past happys.
Wednesday, July 24, 2024
Thursday Thirteen #369
It was 30 years ago edition. I recently discovered Mad About You in reruns on the RewindTV cable channel. I'm enjoying it. I don't know why I didn't watch it when it originally aired -- maybe because I had a rather active social life back in the day.
But anyway, the top shows of 1994 were iconic and influential. While Seinfeld and Roseanne still make me throw up in my mouth, there's no denying the enduring popularity of (most of) these shows.
Nielson's Top 13 of the 1994 season:
1. Seinfeld
2. ER
3. Home Improvement
4. Grace Under Fire (Brett Butler was so hot for a while, then she disappeared)
5. Monday Night Football
6. 60 Minutes (It's been on more than 50 years now)
7. NYPD Blue
8. Murder, She Wrote
tied with
8. Friends (still my favorite show)
9. Roseanne
10. Mad About You
11. Madman of the People (I have no memory of this show at all)
12. Ellen (the sitcom, not the daytime talk show)
13. Hope and Gloria (I don't recall this one, either)
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
Tuesday, July 23, 2024
WWW.WEDNESDAY
WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading? Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death by M.C. Beaton. Locals come from miles around to fill their flasks with the mineral water that flows from a natural spring. A corporation takes note and makes plans to bottle and sell the water. The community is divided about this decision -- will the money that flows in be worth the disruption of their peaceful village? Temperatures flare and suddenly, one of the major players gets dead. Guess who found the body? Our girl, Agatha.
I've read so many heavy books lately that I'm really enjoying this cozy mystery so far.
2. What did you recently finish reading? The Hollywood Daughter by Kate Alcott.
In 1945, young Jessica Malloy idolizes Ingrid Bergman. She has a closer
connection to her favorite movie star than other fans, since her dad is
Ingrid's publicist. Because of her father's connections, Bergman and Bing Crosby come to Jessica's convent school for a few days for on-location shooting on The Bells of St. Mary's. Between her portrayal of a nun in that film and then in the title role of Joan of Arc, Ingrid personified everything Jessica thought was noble.
Then, in 1949, Ingrid went to Italy to make a movie and she fell in love with her director. She got pregnant, even though the man was not her husband, and she wanted the baby. The world went apeshit. At about this time, Washington's anti-Communist witch hunt tightened its stranglehold on Hollywood. Jessica's family life is upended, as her father has to cope with both Ingrid's scandal and actors and writers being blacklisted.
I wish I liked this book better. The premise is rich. The writing is generally very good -- I could almost smell the chlorine at the pool and hear those tennis balls being thwacked over the net. But I didn't really care about Jessica or her mother. So for me, it's a 3-star read.
Monday, July 22, 2024
$30 seems like a good amount
I had lunch with my friend Joanna last Friday. We dined under an umbrella along the water at Chicago's River Walk. It was a beautiful day and we had a lovely time. Except ...
Joanna is broke. Really busted. For the last decade she has been investing all her money in her own business, and it's simply not working. She's good at what she does, but she's not good at marketing herself, getting the word out, attracting new clients. New business acquisition is an area of expertise in and of itself, and no one is good at everything.
But now here Joanna is, nearly 70 with no retirement savings and little money coming in. She often depends on her credit cards to make ends meet. She's not angry. She doesn't sound scared. She just seems ... resigned. I think she's been living with this reality so long that it's no longer fused with emotion.
As we wandered The River Walk, I kept steering her to the small booths, heavy on desserts. I figured that would be easier on her wallet than a meal. But no, she wanted lunch. She had a pair of sliders, I had a (really delicious) turkey sandwich. The bill, with tip, was $47. She had a "what the hell" attitude, but I thought we could have made a wiser choice. She put everything on her credit card because she didn't have any cash. For my portion, I gave her four $10 bills, folded. We were so engaged in conversation that she didn't count it, just slipped it into her wallet. I felt good about that. I wanted to help her, not embarrass her.
Something she said stayed with me: she uses whatever cash she has for groceries. She said when she's out of money, she stops putting food in her cart. She made grocery shopping sound like something of an adventure or a game, but I didn't like the sound of that.
Now I'm in better financial shape than she is, but I'm not a wealthy woman. The problem with retirement is that you don't know how long it will last, so I must be careful with my money.
I simply can't afford to give Joanna the funds it will take to give her security.
I also want to preserve her dignity. She hasn't asked me for help.
So I checked out her neighborhood online and found that the retailer nearest her apartment is Walgreen's. I went to the location in my neighborhood and bought a $30 gift card. That seemed like a good amount. Big enough to help, at least in the moment, but not big enough to be embarrassing. I put it in a classic movie notecard (An American in Paris; we both love old movies and Joanna is a Francophile).
I wrote: "I firmly believe that when you discover you need something in a hurry, you can always find it at Walgreen's. It makes me happy to think that next time you suddenly need 60W bulbs, or sunscreen, or a can of Campbell's Chicken Soup, you can pick it up on me."
Yes, I know she is likely to use it all at once on essentials, but I like my narrative better.
The $30 giftcard is just a finger in the dike. It'll help her with the week, but it won't stave off financial disaster. Still, she knows I care about her. She knows I'm in her corner. Support is all I can give her and I hope she feels my good intentions.
Teaser Tuesday
Here's how to play.
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
The Hollywood Daughter by Kate Alcott. We meet our narrator in New York City, 1959. The daughter of a Hollywood publicist, she went away to college in Vermont now works for Newsweek. She is about to get a mysterious opportunity to go home again.
In a leisurely fashion, I opened the fancy envelope. It was an invitation, yes. Engraved. But no, not to a wedding.
Jessica Malloy (indeed, me) was cordially invited to attend the 1959 Academy Awards at the Pantages Theater in Los Angeles as a guest. Nowhere on the invitation did it say who was doing the inviting – just a cool request for an RSVP because attendance is limited.
I smoothed the polished surface of the invitation with my hand, letting it be, for a moment. Aladdin's lamp. The broken gutters and moldy carpet of my shabby apartment building disappeared.
Roy Hobbs is a mean drunk
So I was very excited when I got the call at 3:00 in the afternoon, telling me he was healthy and strong and ready to come home. The vet's staff warned me, though. My very big boy was hissing, biting and scratching.
"Oh, he won't be that way with me!" After all, I've had cats my entire life and they've all had medical procedures. Reynaldo came out of anesthesia ready to rock. I'd have to keep an eye on him to keep him from jumping because his depth perception was impaired and he could hurt himself. Both my Connie Cat and Joey came home confused and disoriented. Connie wanted to be left alone, hiding under the bed. Joey wanted to snuggle and curled up next to me for comfort.
Roy Hobbs was different. Boy, was he different!
He literally spent three hours hissing at me. He hissed at me so vehemently and so continually that he was out of breath and panting. Yet he wouldn't leave the room. He wouldn't go to sleep. He just sat at my feet, stared at me, and hissed.
"Leave me alone, you possessed Stephen King Cujo Cat!"
Now let me be clear: he never bit or scratched me (as he had the vet staff). He just stared and hissed. And stared and hissed. He also seemed happy to see Connie Cat, who groomed him a little. But he obviously blamed furless bi-peds, like me and the vet staff, for his discomfort and he was not forgiving or forgetting.
Finally, at about 6:30, he dozed off. Thank God!
Imagine my surprise when I was awakened before dawn by Roy Hobbs on the pillow next me, purring. The anesthesia had worn off and he was his sweet old self again.
I'm so glad my boy is back. And next time he has anesthesia, I'll know what to expect.
Sunday, July 21, 2024
Isn't it rich?
MAGA hypocrisy is not new, but it is getting intolerably thick. This meme is floating around social media and the people who are sanctimoniously sharing it are the same ones who supported Donald Trump and Donald Trump Jr. when they made fun of Paul Pelosi being assaulted in a home invasion.
If you ascribe to a man of 80+ having his skull cracked with a hammer being funny but you believe the above, then you better check your own heart. Your belief in the Golden Rule may not be as strong as you think.
BTW, I'm a passionate Kennedy Girl and an outspoken gun control advocate. A joke about a shooting would never pass my lips, and no one would fucking dare make an assassination joke in my presence. I've cried too many tears over the years for that. But that's hardly the point. The deplorables showed how deplorable they were after the Pelosi attack, and I'm not buying their brand of piety now.
Shame on them.
Saturday, July 20, 2024
Saturday 9
Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.
1)
In this song, Rick Dees begins by describing a party where he can't
resist that disco beat. What's the last party you attended? Was there
dancing? There was dancing for the last hour of my friend John's celebration of life. He would have loved that!
2)
While this record was a massive international hit in 1976, it got off
to an inauspicious start. Rick Dees said it took him less than a day to
write the song, and more than three months to convince anyone to let him
record it. Tell us about a time you were tempted to give up, but were
glad you didn't. I was reviewed by my boss CeeCee at the card shop. At the conclusion she said, "I'm so glad you insisted I hire you." She was referring to how, after I submitted an online application for the job and didn't hear back, I followed up with a personal letter. It made me stand out. Of more than 65 applicants who applied online, I'm the only one who was interviewed. So I'm glad I didn't just accept being lost in the queue.
3) In the hit movie Saturday Night Fever, students are briefly seen learning to dance to "Disco Duck." Can you name another song from Saturday Night Fever?
4)
Dees was already a top disc jockey in Memphis when "Disco Duck" was released. With
the record's success, his radio career soared and he got a better job
reaching a greater audience at a radio station in Los Angeles. Are there
any disc jockeys you loyally listened to every day? Steve and Garry. Steve Dahl and Garry Meier. I followed them from The Loop to WLS back to The Loop. They were so creative and funny! Unfortunately, they broke up and I discovered they were better together than they are separately. (Steve is a podcaster now.)
5)
After more than 20 years, Rick lost his regular radio slot to Ryan
Seacrest. But he still shares "the hottest music on the planet" through
the Rick Dees Hit Music app (available at the Apple App Store or Google
Play). What app have you recently downloaded to your phone? Too Good to Go. It lets me know when my local grocery has surplus food available at a discounted price. I get a bargain, and there's less food gone to waste.
6) He used his favorite radio format to create a cookbook called Rick Dees All-Time Top 40 Greatest Desserts. If you could finish a delicious meal with the dessert of your choice, anything at all, what would you order?
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Photo by Serghei Savchiuc on Unsplash |
7) In 1976, when "Disco Duck" was a hit, The Bionic Woman premiered
on ABC. Because of her "bionic parts," Jamie Summers could run super
fast, had super-sensitive hearing, and super-human strength. If you
could have one of those qualities enhanced -- speed, hearing or strength -- which would you choose? Speed. I could just race up to the platform and I'd never miss another train again.
8)
Also in 1976, like this year, the world got together for The Summer
Olympics. Will you be following the international competition? Nope.
9) Random question: You're bone tired, exhausted, and you have an early day tomorrow. As you wash your face and brush your teeth before bed, one of the two bulbs in the bathroom fixture goes out. Do you 1) change the bulb before bed or 2) promise yourself to do it in a hurry tomorrow as you're rushing around in the morning or 3) decide you can live with one bulb for a while, go to bed, and replace the burned-out bulb when you get around it? Either 1 or 3. I know me well enough that 2 is just not gonna happen.
Wednesday, July 17, 2024
Thursday Thirteen #368
13 Brat Packers.
I recently watched the Hulu documentary BRATS, Andrew McCarthy's reflection on what it was like to be considered a member of that 1980s phenomenon, The Brat Pack. My favorite part of the movie was when it was established that no one really has a definitive answer to who was in The Brat Pack.
The term was coined by David Blum in a 1985 article about Emilio Estevez and how Estevez and his twenty-something friends/co-stars enjoyed their fame and popularity. Then it expanded to include the cast members of the hit ensemble youth movies St. Elmo's Fire and The Breakfast Club. Sometimes actors who appeared in the movies Pretty in Pink and Taps are included.
Here's the thing: The Brat Pack never actually existed, so there's no real right/wrong answer to who was in it. The following 13 just seems to be -- to borrow from another movie -- the usual suspects.
1. Emilio Estevez (generally acknowledged to be the Head Brat)
2. Judd Nelson
3. Rob Lowe
4. Andrew McCarthy
5. Demi Moore
6. Ally Sheedy
7. Anthony Michael Hall
8. Jon Cryer (who denies being a member)
9. James Spader
10. Mare Winningham
11. Sean Penn
and his fellow Oscar winners
12. Tim Hutton
and
13. Robert Downey Jr.
Tom Cruise is undeniably the most commercially successful actor of that generation yet he's seldom mentioned as a Brat Packer. I don't know why, since he was in Taps. I guess it's because most of his movies were starring vehicles and not ensemble pieces.
Oh well, BRATS is a fun watch if you were a movie goer in the 1980s.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
Sunday, July 14, 2024
Volunteer Day
2024: Water for Elephants
2023: My Life by Bill Clinton
2022, 2019, 2018 and 2017: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
2016: The Help
2015: The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest
2014: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
2013: The DaVinci Code
2012: Sixkill (a Spenser Mystery)
2011: The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
2010: Scarlett, the Sequel to Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind*
2009: My Life by Bill Clinton
2008: The DaVinci Code
2007: The Nanny Diaries
2006: The Corrections
*For a time I thought Miss Scarlett was going to retake the #1 spot, but Water for Elephants ultimately overtook her.


































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