Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Rocky Road to Dublin (2008)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a young man who leaves home to seek his fortune. How old were you when you first moved out on your own? 18. I loved that teeny-tiny apartment. I don't know that I could handle a third-floor walk up anymore, though! Traversing that spiral staircase with laundry or groceries was a challenge when I was a teenager.

2) He leaps onto a ship but the captain makes him sleep in the hold with pigs. Have you ever taken a cruise? (If so, we hope you had better accommodations.) I've never taken a cruise.

 

I took this myself! The closest I've ever been to HIM.

3) This recording of the song is by The High Kings. Well established in Ireland, their career reached new heights in March 2012. Right after playing for the Lord Mayor of London's St. Patrick's Day celebration, they flew to Washington to perform for President Obama at the White House St. Patrick's Day concert. Tell us about a time when you were so happy, you had to pinch yourself to make sure you weren't dreaming. Summer of 2011. Sir Paul McCartney played two nights at Wrigley Field and I was there both nights! My favorite person in my favorite place. The timing was very important to me. It was during my cancer scare which resulted in a hysterectomy (everything turned out to be, blessedly, benign) and I really needed the distraction and respite as I waited for my surgery to be scheduled.

 

4) This song was chosen because Friday was St. Patrick's Day. Do you celebrate this holiday? I have. I probably will again. But I didn't really this year.

 

5) Leprechauns are a symbol of St. Patrick's Day. These small Irish fairies are said to live in the forest, guarding their gold. Do you often wear gold? No. I prefer silver.

6) McDonald's has made Shamrock Shakes a St. Patrick's Day tradition. McDonald's began adding the drive-thru window to their restaurants in the 1970s. Would you rather order from the restaurant counter or the drive-thru? I don't have a car, so the drive-thru would be pretty dangerous.

7) A four-leaf clover is considered good luck. Do you have a lucky charm? I did, but I lost it. Which made me very sad.

 

8) Thinking of Lucky Charms, they are magically delicious. What breakfast cereal is in your kitchen right now? I have oatmeal. Does that count?

  
9) Random question: Think of your upcoming week. Which day will be the busiest? I have something going on every day Saturday through Wednesday. Some of it fun (lunch with my nephew, celebrating Elaine's birthday), some of it not (dental checks for both me and my cat Connie). It's hard to say which day will be the busiest, or the most expensive.

Thursday Thirteen #301

Thirteen reasons to go to the dentist. It seems my life consists of watching baseball and going to the dentist. The first is my passion, the second my avocation. There is so much wrong with so many teeth I shan't enumerate my maladies here. Instead I'll share 13 common reasons dentists and dental insurance companies report that we climb into the chair.

1. Annual check up. 'Nuff said.

2. Accidents. Patients make more emergency appointments in spring and summer, injuring their teeth in sports or DIY projects in the yard or garage.

3. Other medical treatments. Radiation, hormone replacement therapy, and certain prescription drugs can have an impact on teeth and gums.

4. Pregnancy. Hormones can accelerate tooth decay and gingivitis.

5. Sensitivity to hot or cold. This could mean your teeth have worn down to the point that the root or nerve are exposed.

6. Pain. Toothaches can be brutal.

7. Swelling in your face or neck. This could be caused by a tooth problem you can't see, like gum disease or infected roots.

8. Bleeding gums. Even a little blood in the sink on a regular basis warrants attention, because gum disease won't get better on its own.

9. Dry mouth. Not producing enough saliva can lead to tooth decay.

10. Bad breath. It's not only embarrassing, it could indicate oral infection.

11. Your jaw pops or locks. Trouble opening and closing your mouth could be temporomandibular joint disorder (TMJ).

12. Tongue trouble. Sores and spots on your tongue could be caused by simple irritation or something more serious and you should get them checked out.

13. A better smile. Dentists are your go-to for tooth whitening.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

It won't be my fault. My shrink said so!

Tuesday was my weekly Zoom session with my shrink. I'm trying to make progress, really I am. At least now I'm asking the right questions.

I'm very worried about my oldest friend. She is bipolar, and when she is in the manic phase she makes very bad, sometimes irreparable, decisions. I believe that could be where she's heading now. It scares me.

After months of insisting she's happier now than she's ever been -- even though she has not made a single friend since she moved to California over a decade ago, is unemployed, has health/mobility issues, and is living in a granny flat behind a bigger house that's inhabited by people she barely knows and doesn't especially like and has a landlady who is pressuring her to move NOW -- she is now suddenly saying she's "sick of being a shut-in." 

What a zero-to-sixty change in attitude! That's a red flag.

So what is she doing to change her life? Is she concentrating on getting healthy, or joining a book club, or taking a class? No, she impulsively joined an online dating service. She even admitted she did it on impulse. Impulsivity is a red flag.

We've been here before. She imbues males with the power to rescue.* She's always disappointed. Not only that, she had her first date pick her up and drop her off at home. So this man that she met online now knows that she's physically vulnerable, alone, tucked in back of the big house. This upsets me because I'd prefer she not be the subject of a true-crime podcast.

Bad judgement is a red flag, too.

Here I am, 2,000 miles away. Helpless to help. I'm afraid of what's happening, and there's nothing I can do. It's massively distressing.

My shrink tells me that:

1) I'm not wrong. I am unable to help. She's going to do what she's going to do and I can't stop her.

2) Anything that happens has nothing to do with me. While that's painful and frustrating, it's also liberating. None of this is my fault.

3) It could go well. This man she went out with might call her back. They could have a happy relationship. After all, my friend is funny, pretty and kind. She has a lot to offer! And by dating him, she could meet his friends and expand her world. All that would be good. In fact, nothing would make me happier.

This is what my Cousin Rose was so artlessly trying to tell me when I visited her in Tampa. Next time I write to her, I must tell her I understand it better now. I know Rose loves me and means well and besides, she's right.

On a small, micro-level, I felt better when I logged off than when I logged on. That's a victory, isn't it?

*When she was summoned to the principal's office to discuss her grade-school-aged daughter's behavior problems, she pulled her son from high school to accompany her. That was when she still lived here and had friends and neighbors she could have asked for support. Yet somehow she believed her son's pubescent Y chromosome was going to protect her.

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? What Happened to the Bennetts? by Lisa Scottoline. A typical nuclear family -- Mom, Dad, 2 kids, and dog -- are taking the scenic route home from the daughter's field hockey game. They're in high spirits: her team won, and Dad is finally getting comfortable behind the wheel of the family's new luxury car. And then, in a truly harrowing passage, they are car jacked.

This is Scottoline, so I know characters will turn out to be far from what they seem and there are lots of twists and turns awaiting me in these pages. I also know I'll either be gripped and enthralled (as I was with Every Fifteen Minutes) or annoyed and disgusted (as I was by Dirty Blonde).  That's how it goes with me and Lisa.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Little Girl Blue: The Life of Karen Carpenter by Randy L. Schmitt. I didn't expect to be as moved by this book as I was. Karen Carpenter was a nice girl, a flawed heroine, a uniquely talented singer. She committed slow suicide by anorexia. Her family never understood her, or the disease she battled, and tacitly seem to blame Karen's doctors for her death by allowing her to gain weight too fast, thereby straining her heart. They conveniently ignore the ipecac syrup found in Karen's system at the time of her death. 

This family conveniently ignored a lot. Like how Karen struggled to be seen and heard by her parents, her brother, and management. The story of Karen's solo album is particularly disturbing. Richard blocked it during her lifetime, but you can hear it here. Produced by Grammy winner Phil Ramone, with backup support from Chicago's Peter Cetera and Billy Joel's band, Richard felt it wasn't releaseable because it was too far from The Carpenters' sound. That was the point, Richard! It was her creative statement as an artist, not just as The Carpenters' "lead sister," as she was called. She longed to be more than an extension of her family.

 

But Randy L. Schmitt is very even-handed. His very fairness makes the story more credible and relatable. Richard isn't a villain. He was hard working, talented, and struggling with his own demons. Mother Agnes Carpenter isn't a monster, either. She was an unsophisticated woman watching her family cope with the pressures of celebrity. She made disastrous decisions, but she was naive, not evil. (Though her casual racism and anti-semitism is hard to take.) Father Harold Carpenter loved both his wife and his daughter and felt helpless to interfere.

This is the best book I've read so far this year.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

 

Sunday Stealing

LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY PENPALS

1. Do you make new friends easily? Yes. I'm lucky that way.

 

2. Which podcasts do you like at the moment? The Book of Joe is my favorite baseball podcast. I'd rather have Joe Maddon's voice in my head than just about anyone else's. TCM's The Plot Thickens is my favorite entertainment podcast. I'm waiting for the next season to start.

3. One thing that immediately makes your day better. My cats.

 

4. What app do you use most? Weatherbug.

 

5. The friends who would have your back no matter what. I think of the two I've known the longest. John (1981) and my oldest friend (1964).

 

6. What is something you’ll never do again? Drink wine. Since menopause, it gives me the most bitching migraines.

 

7. Something you practice often. Bad judgement.

 

8. What gives you an adrenaline rush? Baseball sounds: The crack of the bat, the ball landing in the mitt.

 

9. How well do you do in social situations? Depends. I was always more comfortable professionally than personally, but I'm no longer in that setting.

 

10. Are you a light sleeper or a deep sleeper? I'm a fitful sleeper.

 

11. Do you get stage fright? No.

 

12. Which family members are you closest to? My nephew is one of my favorite people in the world.

 

13. How was your February? Rather tumultuous. I had some additional and unexpected dental problems.

14. What is your favorite candle scent? I don't have one.

 

15. One book that you would recommend as a "must read?' The Princess Bride. Even if you've seen the movie, check out the book. It has tremendous heart and wisdom, as well as the funny stuff you've seen on the screen.

 

 

Oh, the week she's had!

Constance MacKenzie, my little girl cat, is purring like a motorboat as I write this, and it's the most glorious sound in the world. For Thursday was the most awful day she could imagine. But here it is, Saturday night, and she survived and is back to being her old sweet self.

She was suffering from Stage 3 Periodontal Disease. There are only 4 stages. Deep cleaning and scaling were required to remove the plaque, a tooth was extracted, and cells from the site of the recurring oral sore were sent to the lab to rule out anything dire. This was complicated and expensive, and she understood none of it.

What she did understand was that she was Outside. Connie hates Outside. I could leave the front door wide open and she wouldn't even approach it. All she needs in the world is in this condo.

Worse than Outside, she was away from me and surrounded by strangers. Unfamiliar hands and voices! Her front leg was shaved for an IV.

There were dogs at the vet. Connie is never, ever around dogs. 

When she awoke, she was stoned. Disoriented. In a cage. It was awful. What fresh hell is this?

They put her in her carrier and brought her to me. As soon as she heard my voice she started purring so loud I could hear her from a few feet away. The guilt was enormous. She didn't think of me as the monster who brought her to the vet. I was only the angel who rescued her.

When I got her home, she was happy to see Roy Hobbs but was unsteady on her feet and very confused. She wanted to be sure her water and her box were where they were supposed to be, though she didn't use them. Then she hid under my bed. Where she stayed for more than 12 hours.

I was worried because the anesthetic she was given in the hospital would be wearing off and I wanted to give her a pain pill. But I didn't want to reach under the bed and drag her out. That would be too cruel. She has a brain the size of a plum pit, and she's trying to process all that had happened to her. So I crushed her pain pill and mixed it into a few spoonfuls of Gerber baby meat. I slid the bowl under the bed and she lapped it up. The medication did the trick and when she started feeling better, she ventured back into her world.

Where she's been ever since.

I don't know if she's feeling better, now that the infected tooth is gone and her gum is healing. Or if she's just so relieved to be back in her familiar surrounding and her old routine. But all she does is rub up against me and purr. And purr. And purr.

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Pass Me By (1965)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) In this song, Peggy Lee tells us she wiggles her toes in the sand. Have you been to the beach yet in 2023? Do you expect to wiggle your toes in the sand when you're on vacation this year? I was just in Tampa (see post below), and here are my freshly pedicured toes in the sand.

 

2) She also sings that contemplating nature can be fascinating. What flora and fauna can you see from your window as you answer these questions? I'm posting from my bedroom, where unfortunately the view is of the roof next door.

3) With this song, she's telling everyone to take her as she is or leave her be. Does that reflect your attitude? Or are you a "people pleaser" who worries what others think of you? Less so with each passing year. To borrow from Peggy, if you don't happen to like me, thank you kindly, pass me by.

4) These lyrics were written by Carolyn Leigh. She began her career as an advertising copywriter but, since she showed a flair for poetry and rhymes, she was urged by a music publisher to write lyrics. Have you ever tried your hand at poetry? Only when forced to. I have strengths as a writer, but poetry is not among them. To be honest, I don't enjoy reading poetry, either. (Do you respect me less?)

5) This song was composed for the 1964 movie Father Goose, starring Cary Grant. Are you a fan? Do you just vaguely know the name? Or are you wondering what a Cary Grant is? I love Cary Grant! So versatile! Adept at physical comedy, romance and drama. And damn near perfect. Here's his actual passport picture. Doesn't he look like he just walked off a movie set?

 

Always impeccable

 

6) This was a top-20 hit for Peggy Lee. As a girl in North Dakota during the 1930s, Peggy lived above the train station where her father was depot agent. Today that depot is home to a museum which features a Peggy Lee Exhibit. Have you recently visited a museum? While I was in Florida I visited the Tampa History Center. 

 

I love a pirate ship

7) Designer Bonnie Erickson was also grew up in North Dakota and used her girlhood idol as the inspiration for her most famous creation: Miss Piggy. A diva with flowing blonde hair and jewelry, the puppet was originally called Miss Piggy Lee. As the character gained in fame with The Muppets, the name was shortened to Miss Piggy because Bonnie didn't want to offend Peggy Lee, whom she genuinely admired. Tell us something you have done recently to spare someone's feelings. I kept my opinion to myself. As I get older I find that I don't need to share every thought that crosses my mind. Often "keeping it real" is unnecessary, hurtful and rather narcissistic. That's not who I want to be. I'd rather be kind.

8) While Peggy Lee often changed her hairstyle with the times, she was always a blonde. She considered those lustrous locks her trademark. Are you having a good hair day today? Yes.

9) Random question: What's the perfect way to spend a lazy afternoon? Eating pizza and watching a great movie, like Holiday with Katharine Hepburn and the estimable Mr. Cary Grant.

 

Tampa recap

I haven't posted much about my trip to Florida because it was four complicated days. Because my relationship with my cousin is so complicated. When I was growing up, Rosie was my idol, my role model, and my champion within the family. I love her for that. My unhappy adolescence would have been damn near unendurable without her. 

But now I'm 65 and she's 77. It's different now than it was when I was 15 and she was 27. I don't need her to show me the way anymore, and her incessant "nudging" makes me crazy. Everything I do is suspect or at the very least up for review. Everything is an argument. Why, after she said she'd pay for lunch, did I offer to leave the tip? What's the point of that? Why, after shopping for souvenirs, didn't I slip the shopping bag into my purse? Have I considered how much money I'd save if I didn't have cats? Even this: How can I prefer the original Magnum PI to the remake when "Tom Selleck has always been so annoying?" Most infuriating -- and, I suppose, amusing -- is that I "care too much" about my friends. I'm "too involved." I have to acknowledge that "they have a right to do as they choose." Um, Rose? Don't I have a right to do as I choose?

But there's this: she loves me very much. This whole trip, centered around the Yankees spring training, was because I love baseball. My first night there she hosted a pot luck in my honor with all the Florida cousins. ("Everybody wants to see you, Gal!") We visited the museum along the Tampa Riverwalk because she knows I love museums and the Chicago River Walk. We went to super-touristy John's Pass -- definitely not her thing -- because I like little shops.

She wanted this trip because she worries about me "worrying too much." She wanted to see for herself that I'm OK. How can that not melt me? Also, we experienced my visit very differently. I wanted to slip into her room and smother her with her pillow as she slept. When I was at the airport, waiting to board my plane home, she texted me dates when the Yankees play the Rays so I can come back for a regular season game. (Not gonna happen.)

And there's this: I'm 65 and she's 77. How much time do I think we have? As it is, right now she's one of two people left on earth who held me when I was a baby. She walks with a cane. I've already outlived my dad. I want to appreciate her when I can.

Now here's an overview of the trip (except for the Yankee-Tiger game, which I covered off on here.)

Riverwalk and Tampa Bay History Center. I admit I love this nerdy stuff, and so does Rose. We enjoyed different parts of the museum -- I loved the pirates and sports stuff and I learned she has a love of cartography.

2008 with Tampa was Cub Manager Joe Maddon's first trip to the World Series

We had a lovely lunch at the Museum, too. The Columbia Cafe has great food and a lovely view of the Riverwalk. While the Chicago River Walk has its charms and is still my favorite, I admit I'll never see this sign here.

Part of why I'm happy to be a Lake Michigan girl!

I learned that modern-day Tampa has cable cars between tourist attraction. Not buses painted to look like cable cars. ACTUAL CABLE CARS! I wish we'd taken one, but Rosie is very car-centric and public transportation just doesn't occur to her.

At John's Pass, we ate seafood and ice cream, shopped, and took a boat ride where I saw beautiful colors, big birds, and DOLPHINS!

It's like he wanted me to take his picture

Thursday Thirteen #300

 Thirteen top reasons we visit the doctor. It seems that as I get older, my body is rebelling more and more. I shouldn't complain -- two of my dearest friends walk with canes and two others are suffering cognitive decline, so I guess I'm doing OK and and I'm feeling better as a result of all this medical attention. But reflecting on this inspired me to research why we go to the doctor.

In 2021, this is what brought us to the doctor. (Covid isn't included because for that, it seems patients were routinely advised to go to the ER.)

1. Shortness of breath
   
2. Abdominal pain
   
3. Hypertension
   
4. Headaches
   
5. Fever
   
6. Nausea
   
7. Cough and congestion
   
8. Urinary tract infection
   
9. Earaches
   
10. Dizziness
    
11. Diarrhea
    
12. Weak or tired
    
13. Muscle aches
    

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Little Girl Blue: The Life of Karen Carpenter by Randy L. Schmitt. I admit I have a love-hate relationship with The Carpenters. I love Karen's voice, I hate the syrupy arrangements. I always wondered what Karen could have achieved if she'd had a solo career. Apparently I'm not alone. 

So far the author seems to agree with me. While I was thinking primarily of her recording career, he maintains Karen might have blossomed on her own personally, as well, had she escaped her family. I appreciate how sensitive and compassionate this portrait is so far.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Jackie & Me by Louis Bayard. This historic romance novel puts a new spin on an oft-told tale: the courtship between Sen. John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier. But the "me" in the title isn't JFK, it's Lemoyne Billings, Kennedy's lifelong best friend. Mr. Bayard imagines the relationship between Jackie and Lem, two outsiders welcomed into The Kennedy Clan because they were with Jack.

 

This book is about a lot of things: how Jackie and Lem became friends through loving the same man; about what they each gained and gave up by giving themselves over to a family literally oozing with money with power; how Lem lived as a closeted gay man in the 1950s; Jackie's evolution from quiet, lonely and unsure working girl to iconic political wife. 

While it held my interest and is very well written, it's important to remember that it's fiction. No one knows for sure what Jack said to Lem about Jackie or what Lem said to Jackie about Jack. This is Bayard's take on a fairy tale, and I enjoyed it on those terms.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

 

It began with Mimi

I've been very lucky with this blog. In the 17 years that I've been chronicling and sharing my life, I've met some really terrific people. Bloggers who lift me when I'm down, who have expanded my world view, who have recommended books. I am very frank here, and I feel like my readers know me better than many people I encounter in real life, where I pull my punches and worry more about appearances.  

One of my first blog buddies was royalty: Queen Mimi of Bloggingham. She's warm and funny and real. An advocate for peace and the founder of Blog4Peace, because words matter. She began reading my posts early on, which means she's had a front row seat for my evolution. Her respect and affection matter to me.

Which is why I was delighted to return from a getaway to Tampa and find a big box of goodies from Bloggingham waiting for me! Chocolates and peeps. Scented, girly stuff. A handwritten note from the monarch herself. Plus a pitcher from Italy and a liberty blue plate.

Beautiful. Thoughtful. Perfect.

I had purchased postcards in Tampa to send to friends but had misaddressed one before I could write the message. I was going to throw it out but didn't. (Snarkypants would say I was responding to a "ping" from the universe.)  It turned out to be a nice, colorful vehicle for a thank you note, sent from my humble Chicagoland home to the Castle.

As does this. Thank you, Mimi.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Wagon Wheel (2013)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week, Darius Rucker sings about hitching a ride to reach his lady love. Have you ever thumbed a ride? No. My parents and teachers emphasized that it was dangerous. Besides, there was a bus that ran between the malls/movie theaters, and when I was in high school that's where I always wanted to go.

 

2) Along the way, he loses his money in a poker game. Successful poker players are good at bluffing, or misleading others about about their cards. Are you good at bluffing, whether at cards or in life? I am about as transparent as a glass of water.

3) Darius began has career as the lead singer of 90s soft-rock band Hootie and the Blowfish. Today he's a country singer. Let's say you're stuck in traffic and only one radio station comes in clearly. Would you prefer it play soft rock or country? Soft rock.

 

4) Darius Rucker will be on tour throughout 2023, playing dates all over the country and making a couple stops in Cancun. Have you ever visited Mexico? If so, where did you go? No. I'll never go to Mexico because you know what they eat in Mexico? Mexican food. 

 

Mexican food is my downfall. You look at this and say, "Yum!" I look and say, "Thank God for the 1000 sheet roll of toilet paper."

 

 

Photo by Roberto Carlos Román Don on Unsplash

5) Darius has lent his talents to fundraising for The First Tee, a non-profit that teaches children "life lessons, self-confidence, and resilience through golf." Did you participate in organized sports as a youngster? If yes, what did you play? The gal was not an athlete.

6) A big sports fan, he has six TVs in his home so he can watch several games at once. His largest set is 70". When it comes to TV screens, do you believe bigger is better? Or are you just as comfortable watching from your laptop or phone? I'd rather watch TV than my laptop or phone.

 
7) In 2013, when "Wagon Wheel" was popular, fans were flocking to the movie theater to see Catching Fire, the second in the Hunger Games series. Are you a Hunger Games fan? Not at all.

8) Also in 2013, the word "selfie" was added to the Oxford Dictionary. Do you take a lot of selfies? No. I don't know if my arms aren't long enough or what, by any selfie I take with my phone looks awful. The ones I take with the Photo Booth app on my laptop aren't so bad.

9) Random question: If we paid you $5,000, would you get Saturday 9 tattooed on your right forearm? No, but thank you for offering.

 

 

Start spreading the news

 

Steinbrenner Field just starting to fill up

I went to my first ever spring training game but I didn't watch my beloved Cubs. It was Tigers vs. Yankees in Tampa. But in my heart it was a Cub game, because it was a reunion of two 2016 Cubs superstars, Javier Baez and my favorite Anthony Rizzo.

Javy got a hit for the Tigers. Rizz didn't play but I got to watch him in the dugout. He also appeared with the Military Veteran of the Game and signed his ball. I found myself being very sorry I didn't get to see Aaron Judge (was he even at the park?) and was very happy that the Yankees won because I got to hear Francis sing, "New York, New York" as we filed out.  Here's my souvenir cup in my kitchen. I'm afraid I may have been seduced by the Evil Empire.

I did not sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," though. I'm not that big a slut. That is reserved only for The Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field.

I ended up sitting between my Cousin Rose and a very drunk 20-something Detroit Tigers fan who was vacationing in Florida. He enjoyed talking baseball with me, since his girlfriend seemed barely interested in the game and he was very knowledgeable. 

No wonder! He mentioned wistfully that he once struck out one of the Tigers hitters who was in the lineup that night. "Huh? What?" said I. My seatmate explained that this aspiring major leaguer was two years ahead of him in high school in Michigan and they played against one another in a conference game. I said, "You must have been very good to strike out an upper classman."

"Yeah," he said sadly. "I went on to play A Ball for Cleveland but I got hurt and they cut me."

I was shocked. I assumed that if a player got injured during a game, the team would pick up the bills for his surgery and rehabilitation. Apparently they are under no obligation to do so. As this young man told me, "They hadn't invested enough in me yet to pay it."

Man, that is cold.

When it looked like foul balls may come our way, he told me not to worry, he'd catch them. He showed me his glove. It was a pro glove. I wanted to cry. Imagine, getting so close to your dream and not being able to achieve it through no fault of your own. Here he is, barely 25* and he has to reset. 

I told him he has a better story than anyone else in the stands, that he has a smarter perspective on baseball than anyone else in the stands, because he actually played pro ball. I reiterated that he should be proud. He shrugged and said, "I'm in sales now. It's cool."

But here he was, at a spring training game, watching a player he once bested face Yankee pitching. That player is in the dugout with Justin Verlander, he's in the stands with me.

But he still loves the game, and bringing his pro glove to the game, that makes my heart both ache and sing.

That's baseball.

*My best guess

Thursday Thirteen #299

 Thirteen facts about Titanic. I recently saw the 25th anniversary re-release of the movie on the big screen and was engrossed anew. It's not only a well-made movie, it's a monumentally compelling real-life event. So I'm revisiting it.

1. The ship was almost as long as three football fields. That's longer than most 21st century ships. However she wouldn't be as breathtaking on today's seas because nowadays cruise ships are considerably wider than Titanic.

2. Today's ships are taller, too. Titanic had 10 decks, while today's usually have 12 to 14 (13 being considered unlucky).

3. It had four smokestacks but only three were functional. The fourth was added purely for visual appeal.

 

An actual photo, not an artist's rendering

 

4. In 1912, the first-class swimming pool was the height of luxury. (Today's Carnival Magic has two pools and multiple hot tubs.) Titanic also offered first-class passengers a library, a gym, and a squash court. Here's a sign of the times: there were two barber shops on board, but they only catered to men. The ladies either depended on their maids to do their hair or (in second/third-class) handled it themselves.

5. Each first-class stateroom on Titanic included a queen-sized bed, separate sitting room, and private bath. The furnishings were Louis XVI.

6. While much is made of the first-class luxury on Titanic, second-class passengers traveled in style and comfort, too. They had four-poster or bunk beds, not berths built into the wall. Each stateroom had a desk with stationery and a sofa. Second-class had its own library and gym. The men had their own smoking room and access (if requested in advance) to one of the barber shops.

7. Even third-class passengers on Titanic had electricity, running water, and a toilet in each barracks-like cabin. This was far better than third class on most ships at the time. Families on Titanic could travel together, too. It was more common in 1912 for ships to segregate third-class as men on one end, women and children on the other.

6. Each day on Titanic started with a hearty breakfast, no matter which class you found yourself. Third-class could choose between oatmeal or herring or scrambled eggs with ham; second-class had many breads to choose from as well as oatmeal, herring or bacon and eggs; first-class had omelettes, or smoked salmon, or eggs with steak or pork chops and their choice of potato. Back in 1912, it seems the only fruit served at breakfast was in the preserves.

8. While we're talking about food, here are the last desserts served on Titanic: plum pudding in third-class; ice cream with fresh fruit in second; first class passengers could have apple, date and walnut pudding, chocolate and vanilla eclairs, and ice cream with fresh fruit. (I don't believe first-class passengers had to choose and could have gorged themselves on all three if they wished.)

9. Titanic was built to accommodate 3,547 passengers. 2,200 made its first/only voyage. Just 700 survived.

10. The ship took off with just 20 lifeboats, enough to carry 1,100 people. The first lifeboats launched weren't filled to capacity because many passengers didn't grasp the enormity of their situation and took a "wait and see" attitude over being lowered into small boats and riding through icy water.

13. While the loss of life was tragic, it wasn't shared evenly. 62% of the first class survived. 75% of the third class perished.

13. For you numerologists: Titanic took 3 years to build, sustained a 300 ft. gash, and took 3 hours to sink.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Jackie & Me by Louis Bayard. This is historic fiction about the courtship between Sen. John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier. But the "me" in the title isn't JFK, it's Lem. Lemoyne Billings, Kennedy's lifelong best friend. Mr. Bayard imagines the relationship between Jackie and Lem, two people who loved the 35th President and the only two I can think of that he invited into The Kennedy Clan.

The thing I like best about this book so far is the author/Lem tells us from the get-go that there were many "Jackies" familiar to the public: regal First Lady, gallant widow, jet-set wife to a billionaire, New York working girl, and good mother/keeper of the flame. We know little about who she was before. Jacqueline Bouvier, diffident about her future, struggling to craft the life she wants for herself while conforming to what's expected of her.

 

Bayard gets some things wrong (example: Jackie only worked for Vogue for one day and quite a bit before she was introduced to Kennedy at the Bartlett's dinner party). This kind of thing bugs me because there's so much drek out there about The Kennedys -- Jackie herself called it "the river of sludge." But so far there's no damaging misinformation. And it's nice to see Lem get his sliver of spotlight. There's Jack & Lem by David Pitts, but beyond that, Lem is just that guy with JFK in just about every group photo throughout the years. I know Rose Kennedy expected him at Hyannis Port and Palm Beach for every holiday, that he tenderly squired young Rosemary Kennedy to social affairs, that he was a guest at The White House during the Bay of Pigs invasion, and Eunice Shriver delivered his eulogy. He really was "in the room where it happened."

2. What did you recently finish reading? Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Rayburn. The book opens with four warm and witty friends celebrating their retirement. These lovely 60-something women have worked together for 40 years and their employer for has rewarded them for their years of service with an all-expenses-paid cruise. Perhaps I should mention that these old girls have spent their entire adult lives as paid assassins, and the organization they worked for has no intention of letting them enjoy their golden years. 

 

From the moment they discover the cruise is a trap, the book is filled with action and tension. After all, their very lives are at stake. It's occasionally very funny, too. I liked the quiet moments when the women reminisced and shared their feelings about "the job." I mean, it can be hard to root for paid assassins, and finding out about their inner lives helped me stay on their side. I just wish this was the first of a series, but alas, no.

PS Thanks to Kwizgiver for turning me onto this book.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

Trying, but not succeeding

I have two friends who are doing the best they can. Kathy is rapidly losing it because of dementia. My oldest friend is bipolar. I have no idea how their lives feel to them. I try to (using Stacy's wonderful phrase) "meet them where they are." Or,  in classic movie vernacular, when I deal with them I try to be more Melly and less Scarlett.

But it's hard.

Kathy takes the simplest things and complicates them. Because she doesn't understand what's going on. Example: I posted on Facebook that I was treating myself to lunch because that night was my condo association meeting "and those get togethers diminish my will to live." 

Most of my 102 Facebook friends understood that I was being flip. Not Kathy. She wrote some long rambling comment about being with me in spirit and that when the weather gets warmer and and her "feet are firmly on the ground again," she will drive the 60 miles from her home to mine. Dear God, no! A woman with Kathy's cognitive issues should never, ever get behind the wheel of a car! Shit, she can't even remember when/if she received a package from me, or recognize a building in her own neighborhood.

I didn't say that, of course. I responded with "thumbs up" and moved along. 

Two hours later she commented to me again, wondering, "Are we still connected? Why so quiet? I feel like I'm wandering in circles ..."

Oh, for fuck's sake! It's just Facebook. Pre-teens have mastered it. I didn't say that, of course. I responded with, "Scroll up and you'll see your original comment and my positive response. We're connected. All is good." That satisfied her.

My oldest friend ignores me for long periods. This month I sent her an article about Bobby Hull's passing. No response. I've tried calling her. She doesn't pick up and her voicemail is full, so I couldn't even leave a message. When we talked about this last month, she explained that she doesn't bother to listen to/delete her voicemails because every so often she picks up her phone and sees who called.

Never mind that this is childish and, I suspect, her way of ignoring the landlady who wants her to move out. It's also her way of avoiding me. She as much as told me she looks at her phone, sees it's me who is calling, and chooses not to engage.

Well, fuck you.

Instead she has been IM-ing all day with pictures of snow outside her window in Southern California. I responded to the first with a photo of the snow outside my living room window. I ignored the rest. This is inane drivel. Besides, I'm not a housemaid she can summon by ringing a bell. 

Did I mention fuck you?

I'm being full metal Scarlett and I know it. Kathy posts incessantly on Facebook (11 times so far today) and comments when she doesn't understand what she's saying because it's the only way she feels like part of her old world.

My oldest friend gets so paralyzed with depression she can't respond. Or she knows she's making choices that aren't in her own best interest and I'll yell at her.

I want to be a good person. I try to be a good person. I know I come up short. But at least Kathy and my oldest friend don't know how I'm feeling. While my insides may be Scarlett, I'm working hard to keep my demeanor Melly.