Sunday Stealing

Stolen from the League of Extraordinary Penpals

1. My plans for December. My goal has been to chill out. Since September, my life has had entirely too much drama ... and I hate drama. Career stress and medical crises (my own and friends/family). Signing up for Medicare. Transitioning my employer 401(k). Right now, at this moment, I'm caught up on doctor and dentist appointments (I still need to take Connie to the vet for the a follow up, but I think that can wait until January) and my finances are stable if not robust. So I'm concentrating on time with friends and family and feeling better. I say "yes" when people invite me places, I've been paying closer attention to hydration (both drinking more water and keeping the humidifier running), and I've started doing yoga. (I know I'd feel better if I did morning stretches, too, but I'm trying not to beat myself up when I forget.)

 

2. How energized I feel at this point in the year. Well, I'm hyper-alert and my mind is always click-click-clicking, but I don't know if that's energy or stress.

3. The best things about the holiday season. The opportunities to be kind and generous. For example:

• Yesterday I discovered a toy collection box at the local community bank for children on the West Side. I added a book and crafts set about the animated dog, Bluey. I was a little under-budget for the weekend and that $20 investment made my heart sing. 

• We're all in busier stores and longer lines these days. This gives us more opportunities to hold the door for our fellow shoppers and thank the person at the register. I couldn't afford to tip big for the great service I got at high-end restaurant last week, but I did circle back and single out the server for praise on my Open Table online review. I got a message back from the owner, saying she'd pass my compliments along (hopefully this will mean job security or a bonus for him). 

• I'm mightily pissed at a dear friend's spouse (see post below) but I'm holding my tongue and instead, digging deep for compassion. 

Christ is the reason for the season, and I am grateful for all the ways to live my faith.

 

4. Something that changed my perspective on life. My niece and nephew are 30 and 22, respectively. They are both college graduates. She is married. They are not children. Reminding myself of this has enabled our relationships evolve and helped me relate to them as adults.

 

5. What I seem to get the most comments about. I've been surprised and grateful to hear more often lately that I'm ... well ... nice. Former coworkers have reached out to say they miss me, one even sent me a lovely and most unexpected Christmas present. I didn't expect this.

 

6. The changes I’ve made to my style. I haven't made any recent changes to my makeup or hair regimen. Sorry.

 

7. What gets in the way of my success. My laziness.

 

8. News sources I trust the most. I try to be a smart consumer. For example, when it comes to morning news I go with the independent local station because they don't have a hard stop at the top of the hour to go to The Today Show or GMA. This gives them the freedom and flexibility to dig deeper into stories.

9. Fictional characters that would easily fit into my life. Professor Bhaer from Little Women. He was kind and accepting but also honest with Jo. He respected her as an equal, as well as loving her. 

Gabriel Byrne is my favorite Prof. Bhaer (1994)

 

10. My relationship with spirituality. I am a Christian who works hard to respect all faiths. I am grateful for my relationship with Jesus and would prefer to encourage others to pursue their faiths than to legislate my own. The First Amendment states, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." Thomas Jefferson warned us our freedom would be at risk if we didn't keep religion out of government and government out of religion. I wish we could all stop being so terribly tribal,passing laws to enforce our personal religious agendas, and resumed honoring what America was created to be.

 

11. How I feel when I’m being retrospective. "Retrospective?" That's an odd word choice, isn't it? I suppose when being retrospective I feel old.

 

12. My thoughts on AI technology. It creeps me out in theory, but I love my voice-activated remote and a day doesn't go by that I don't say. "Alexa, call my phone." She reliably helps me find the damn thing.

13. The odd/weird things I do when nobody else is around. I make up songs for my cat Connie.

14. What I do when I can’t sleep. Toss and turn. Drink water. Fart around on the computer.

15. The winter/holiday season tasks I enjoy. Tasks? I'm a hideously lazy slug. I don't enjoy tasks any time of year.

This is so hard

I'm writing this on Saturday morning. Looking back over the last three days is dizzying. It feels so much longer. So much has happened!

I was having a lovely lunch with my former art director at a restaurant I'd never visited before. Now I'm not one of those people who is forever checking her phone. I only took it out of my purse because I wanted to take a picture of our drinks. Mine was called Purple Reign (lavender vodka, pear, honey and lemon) and was so pretty.     

But that's when I saw the text.  

Patrick, who spends the winter in Key West with Reg and Henry, let me know that my darling Henry had been airlifted to Miami. He took a nap and then could not be awakened. His breathing was shallow, his pulse was faint, and there was blood around his mouth. The paramedics suspected a brain aneurysm, beyond the care that the local hospital can provide. 

This was December 14. My travel plans had me taking off for Key West in 8 days. I was counting on seeing Henry for his 60th birthday on 12/22. I have spent every Christmas with him for a decade. Considering how his condition is deteriorating, I'm not at all confident he will even know me next year, so seeing him this year, giving him a hug, was very important to me.    

But his birthday was only 8 days away! He wasn't even in Key West, he was in Miami. Henry's recent hospitalizations -- and they are becoming more and more frequent -- have lasted more than a week each time. What condition would he be in? Would he even know me? Would his husband Reg want me underfoot while dealing with possible recovery after brain surgery?

I heard nothing from Reg directly. For 48 hours. I couldn't imagine why experts in Miami couldn't diagnose my friend! What was wrong? Had Henry lost the ability to speak (my biggest fear)? Was Henry frightened, all alone in Miami? 

Reg had been posting on Facebook all this time. About how chaotic his life is. How alone he feels without his husband. How he wishes he could reach a branch to keep him from drowning in this quicksand. I know Reg finds the comments he receives ("You're a saint!" "We love you!") very satisfying, but I was frustrated and scared. There was nothing about HENRY! How is Henry? I figured the doctors were still perplexed by Henry's condition. Otherwise Reg would let me know what's going on, or at least post something on Facebook.

I didn't want to bother Reg at this trying time but I did keep reaching out to Patrick. After all, he's living right there in their home. Patrick answered me regularly and promptly, explaining that he didn't know anything either. Patrick and Reg worked different schedules, and Reg wasn't answering Patrick's texts, so he assumed there was no news to report.

No diagnosis. No treatment plan. Not even any word on whether dangerous surgery would be required.

I regretfully cancelled my trip. Why be in Key West if Henry is hospitalized in Miami? Also, if I waited, I'd lose not only the deposit on my hotel room,* I'd forfeit what I spent on the non-stop Christmas-week airline ticket.

I cannot afford to waste that kind of money. I am unemployed. I have prodigious dental bills on the horizon. My cat Connie needs dental work, as well. 

I cried over this. I am trying to reconcile myself to the fact that now I may never see Henry again, because with the rate of his decline, he may not remember me much longer.

I reached out to my niece and nephew. I told them while I'll be around this year for Christmas, I'd still like to celebrate with them early. It would mean a great deal to me if we could raise a glass to Henry on 12/22, his 60th birthday. They were both sweet about it.

Now here's the plot twist. There is nothing severe about Henry's condition. The paramedics misdiagnosed a seizure as a stroke (they erred on the side of caution and I don't blame them). The hospital in Miami calibrated his meds and have been calling Reg to come get him. He's going to be fine.

It would have been nice if Reg had shared this with me. Or Patrick. Or any one of his 500 friends on Facebook. But no, he blathered about quicksand. OH! He set up a GoFundMe to help with their bills. This he has time to do. (He's asking for $25,000 and has raised $915 to date. I admit $75 is from me, it's money I'd earmarked for Henry's birthday lunch.)

It gets better. Patrick warned me not to call the house. Reg is furious with me. He says I've "given up on Henry" and now he has no one to "hand Henry off to" over Christmas.

Fuck that.

First of all, Henry won't be more than momentarily disappointed that I'm not there because Henry is no longer tethered to reality. For example, he thinks his Miami hospital room is his office at the college (where he hasn't taught in years) and he's waiting for Reg to come get him. This trip was more for me, really, than for Henry.

Second, if Reg had shared what he knew Wednesday night/Thursday morning -- which is that the issue was a seizure with no long-term ramifications -- I wouldn't have cancelled my trip on Friday.

Third, Reg has never gotten Henry the care he's needed since the accident in 2018. Henry hasn't gotten regular CAT scans. He hasn't gotten the recommended anger management or occupational therapy. It wasn't until this year that Henry's alcoholism was addressed and he detoxed, which was arduous. So I'd argue that Reg gave up on Henry in a very real way years ago.

So if Reg wants to be angry at me, fine. I've been angry at Reg for quite some time.

Most of all, I miss Henry. I believe he may be lost to me forever. This is so hard for me to accept. 

*It's about $225, gone with the wind.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Christmas Song (1964)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 
1) While this song was published as "The Christmas Song," many people refer to it as "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire." Have you ever roasted chestnuts (in an open fire or in the oven)? Nope.

2) Ricky Nelson sings that turkey helps make the season bright. Many of us just had turkey last month for Thanksgiving. Do you enjoy turkey all year around? Or do you consider it a seasonal dish? I love turkey. I'll enjoy it all year.

3) He wishes "Merry Christmas" to kids from 1 to 92. Who is the youngest person you will celebrate the holidays with? Who is the oldest? Youngest is my nephew, who is 22. Oldest is my friend John, who is 67.

 

4) "The Christmas Song" is a perennial favorite and gets lots of play this time of year. Is there a holiday song that you think is overplayed, and that you hope to not hear again (at least not until December 2023)? I can't stand "Suzy Snowflake." I've heard it three times this year, and that's three times too many.

5) This version of the song is from The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, the sitcom that ran from 1952 to 1966. There were 435 episodes in all. Is there a series whose every episode you've seen? Sex and the City, Friends, M*A*S*H, The Dick Van Dyke Show, I Love Lucy ... I'm a true vid kid.

 

6) Life magazine coined the phrase "teen idol" to describe Ricky's popularity. In your younger days, did you have a crush on a teen idol? I was six when I fell in love with Sir Paul. I love him still.

 

7) Do you have a funny/ugly holiday sweater? Yes. I have been told this sweater is "an eyesore." I don't care. I love it.

 

8) Have you received many holiday cards this year? Did you send many? I sent about 25. I've received about a dozen.

9) If you were Santa, what cookie would you like kids to leave for you on Christmas Eve? Chocolate macaroons.

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #288

The Way We Were. Remember when newsmagazines were the big thing? I do. Time and Newsweek used to arrive on Tuesday, and I would spend hours that evening comparing and contrasting the way they covered the same stories (yes, I am that nerdy). Now that everything has moved online, I have access to more news but I read it less carefully. I miss those days of lying on my tummy, flipping through glossy pages for hours.

Anyway, here are thirteen Time covers from 1982. Hard to believe that was 40 years ago! It gives us a little window into what and who mattered to us, way back then.

Personal computers were once a hard sell

Uh-oh! Salt isn't good for us.

Kids, computers & inflation

A faraway war

CNN makes an impact

Strong became sexier than skinny

What's going on with the stock market?

Political Action Committees & the '82 election

The DeLorean scandal

Imagine being able to order whatever you want without leaving the house!

What's going on with Russia?

I love Paul Newman in The Verdict

Who is really in charge of the Oval Office?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? 25 Days Till Christmas by Poppy Alexander. Kate is an Army widow, struggling to create a Merry Christmas for her son on a military pension and salary from a retail job. It's hard, because she's lonely and it hurts to hear her little boy refer to his father as a star in Heaven. Daniel was his beloved sister's caretaker, but now she's gone. This is his first Christmas without her, and he's longing to make real connections, to get some relief from the grief.

Yeah, I know what's going to happen. But that's OK, because I really want it to happen, and part of the pleasure of this book is getting there with two characters I care about.

Also, holiday depression is a real thing. I appreciate seeing it acknowledged sensitively in a book like this one.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Christmas Every Day by Beth Moran. The book sounds formulaic. Jenny loses her job and has her heart broken in the big city and, through a series of very convenient coincidences, ends up living in a rural area. Here, she makes new friends, is attracted to her hunky new neighbor, and has the merriest Christmas of her life.

Yet is wasn't as predictable as I'd expected. There are a couple plot twists that knocked me back on my heels, and we don't usually get that in a holiday romance. So brava to the author!

I do wonder, though, why we can't have a heroine who escapes a bad relationship in her stifling small town and broadens her horizons, her circle of friends, and dating pool in the big city? Kind of a Carrie Bradshaw Christmas.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

 

Yoga: Day 1

See this photo of flexible women reaching for their toes? I did not remotely resemble them today.

I got confused a lot. "Now place your bolster at a diagonal ...." "Using your block ..." "Place your strap ..." I had no idea yoga included so much paraphernalia. It was a lot to keep straight. Plus I'm in rather abysmal shape.

But I am proud of myself. I made the commitment, I showed up and I did my best. It is a start. 

I try again Thursday.

Behind the scenes

Enjoy these two photos from the set of It's A Wonderful Life (1946).

Donna Reed and James Stewart rehearsing for the dance contest.

 The snow effects were cutting edge in 1946.

What a difference a week makes

Monday night, my friend Nancy wished me a Merry Christmas. This meant a great deal to me because of what happened last weekend.

I had invited Nancy and her husband Paul to meet me for lunch. I was going to be in their neighborhood getting my hair cut. What we didn't realize was that their neighborhood was having its holiday festival. Certain streets and parking lots were closed for Santa, ice sculptures, wine tasting, etc. Nancy couldn't find a place to park and this had her in a very bad mood.

She started ranting about Christmas. How it disrupts everything. How, as a Jew, she feels alienated in her own country. How she feels like "less than 1%"* and all the lights and decorations just emphasize this.

I was shocked. She knows I am a Christian. She knows I celebrate Christmas.

It turns out Nancy was very upset and threatened by the continuing popularity of Donald Trump, even after he dined with Nick Fuentes and Kanye. Anti-Semites and Holocaust deniers are welcome at Mar-a-Lago, and Donald Trump -- former President and current nominee -- is just as popular as he was six months ago. This makes her heart ache and tells her hate is on the rise. 

I countered that this has nothing to do with Christmas. When people hang their lights, they are not actively trying to exclude her or make her feel unwelcome in her own country. They are celebrating the season of love. I pointed out to her that some of us -- like me -- are trying to get through this season without screaming. I didn't detail all that is going on with Henry, but knowing this Christmas will be our last together is weighing very heavily on me. I told her that sometimes the lights and the carols feel like a balm.

But she has a point. "Christian Conservatives" seem to reject that America was founded on religious freedom. Nancy's Jewish faith is just as valid as my Christian faith. Or the spirituality of those who don't worship at all. Or Muslims, Hindus, etc. Legislating Christianity is dangerous and anti-American (don't get me started on abortion; how many Christians explored how other religions regard when life begins before applauding this activist Supreme Court?). Thomas Jefferson, one of our Founding Fathers, insisted that political freedom and free thought would be at risk if we did not keep government out of the church and church out of government. James Madison, who wrote the Constitution, believed that worshiping if, when, and where we choose is unalienable and protected, and no faith is more legitimate in this country than any other. But what did Madison and Jefferson know about what the United States should stand for?

When Nancy and Paul invited me to dinner last night, I was apprehensive. I don't want to defend my faith, and I don't want her to feel compelled to defend hers. I knew the restaurant she chose would have lights in the window, a tree in front, and holly in each booth. 

It wasn't an issue. We talked about Paul's daughter and her on again/off again marriage. We talked about Nancy's project at work. We talked about my Cousin Rose inviting me to Tampa for spring training ... and ANTHONY RIZZO! We talked about Harry and Meghan's Netflix series, and how it reminds me of Joe Maddon's memoir. (Paul loves that I can somehow tie everything back to the Cubs.) 

As we slid out of the booth, I saw the shopping bag Nancy had brought along. On the way to the restaurant she had stopped at a gift shop for chocolates to give as part of her office Secret Snowman gift exchange. She actually seemed into it.

As we parted, she wished me a Merry Christmas. We hugged. I will treasure that. 

*I don't know where she got this stat.

Making it to merry

I went out Saturday night. Elaine invited me to join her at The Music Box Theater's annual Santa singalong. They show a double feature, It's a Wonderful Life and White Christmas, all day and between shows, Santa comes out, sits on the organ, and leads the audience in carols.

We had dinner beforehand at a neighborhood deli and I had my first kugel. Then we headed off to the theater.

First they showed my favorite holiday short. I originally saw it on Garfield Goose, which was mandatory viewing with my playground crowd. Hardrock, Coco and Joe was on often, but not every day, during the Christmas season so the suspense and anticipation this little Gal felt was very real. I was thrilled and delighted to see my three old friends again -- and on the big screen! 

 

Then The Big Guy came in for the singalong. It's true! I spent Saturday night in the company of Santa himself! 

Yes, I sang. God help me, I sang. I found the confluence of Andy Williams and Santa irresistible. 

Lest you think this was a kiddie or family event, it started at  9:45 PM. There were no children in attendance and plenty of beer cans were popped open during this portion of the program.

And then, of course, there was the Frank Capra tale of redemption that gets me every time.

It was after 1:00 AM when Elaine pulled up in front of my building. Before I got out she told me wait, and she produced a Christmas gift bag! An oversized cat mug, almond cookies, and a zen "cat litter" garden for me to rake and play with for "peace and mindfulness." 

My second unanticipated Christmas gift of the year! It's not gifts themselves (the bag from Elaine and the blanket from my former coworker) but what they represent that touch me. 

I'm struggling right now. I'm learning to adapt to my new, post-work life and doing it during the holiday season has been hard. This time of year is just fraught with emotion. Loved ones who have gone (my mom, my uncle) and the loved one who is fading (Henry) haunt me. I think I'm OK financially, but I don't know. I think I'm getting better physically, but I don't know. I've never been good with things I can't control, and now I'm engulfed by them. 

Finding support from unexpected places makes me happy, and I'm grateful. 

I'm hopeful that it will be a Merry Christmas after all.

Sunday Stealing

 THE YEAR IS ENDING

1. Wintertime comfort foods, habits, hobbies. Food? Mac and cheese. Habits? More moisturizer! Hobbies? I don't think I have any winter-specific hobbies.

2. Favorite seasonal/holiday music and songs. I love Andy Williams at Christmastime.

3. The people I want to spend more time with next year. My newish friends: Joanna, Elaine and Nancy. I love and treasure my friends of a lifetime, but I also appreciate the need to forge new connections. And that gets harder as we get older.

4. How much I could change my life in 1 year if I focused. Probably lots!

5. The valuable lessons I learned this year. That permanence and control are illusions in life.

6. How I’d describe 2022 in 10 words. Boy, dental work is insanely time consuming and very expensive.

7. My favorite reads of 2022. I'd recommend three biographies that gave me new insights into lives I thought I knew: Lady Bird and Lyndon by Betty Boyd Caroli, The Book of Joe by Joe Maddon and Tom Verducci, and All That Heaven Allows: A Biography of Rock Hudson by Mark Griffin

8. Best movies I saw in 2022 

9. Favorite TV shows/episodes of 2022 

10. Memorable experiences from 2022. I will spare you the litany of my health issues. Suffice to say, I'm happy and grateful to leave them behind.

11. Three people I enjoyed spending time with this year. My nephew. My oldest friend. My classic movie tribe.

12. How I handled challenges this year. Not all that well.

13. What I’m leaving behind in 2022. Getting up with the alarm clock each weekday morning.

14. How I changed most from beginning to end of the year. After 18 years, my employer and I parted company.

15. What I want to tell myself before the New Year. Change isn't always bad.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Just Because (1956)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this week's song, Elvis complains that his girl has confused him with Santa Claus. This time of year, Santa is prominent. Did you more recently hear Santa referred to in a song, see him in a holiday decoration or ad, watch him in a film or TV show, or maybe even met him in person, ringing a bell or asking kids if they have been naughty or nice? I watched Elf last night.

Did you realize Buddy actually knows Santa?

  

2) Finally Elvis just can't take it anymore and breaks up with her, just because. Is there anyone in your life who has a way of pressing your buttons and getting on your nerves? Oh yes! I won't say anymore than that because I'm trying not to let those funsuckers have such an impact on my mood.

Oh, yes I did.

3) "Just Because" is one of the last songs Elvis recorded at Sun Studio in Memphis. TripAdvisor recommends a Sun Studio tour as one of the top things to do in Memphis. Have you ever been to Memphis? If yes, what did you do? Yes. I've been to Memphis three times, and consequently have visited Graceland three times. BTW, the first time I went to Memphis, in 1987, I toured Sun Studio. Back then, it was still a working recording studio (don't know if that's still the case) and tours were still a new thing. My friend and I just showed up and even though it wasn't a specified tour time, the engineer working there said he'd take us through. It was just my friend and me -- two women traveling alone; I wasn't yet 30 and she was 38 or 39. As he took us through (it's really very small) he had to leave us a minute to take a phone call. So she and I were alone in the room where Elvis recorded this week's song, as well as "That's All Right, Mama" and "Good Rockin' Tonight." I took this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and went up to Elvis' mic stand and, um, slid down it like a stripper pole. (Hey! Elvis was known for his suggestive moves. I like to think he'd appreciate mine.) After he finished the call, the engineer informed us that the mirror was two-way and he was watching us while he was on the phone. Instead of chastising me, he invited us to a party.

4) Elvis left Sun for RCA, a much bigger record label. As part of the deal, RCA negotiated for the rights to all his unreleased Sun songs. "Just Because" is one of them, and it was included on Elvis' first RCA album. Have you gotten a good deal on anything lately? Not yet. But I have a BOGO coupon for Boston Market that I'm using this afternoon. I love Boston Market.

5) In 1956, when "Just Because" was released, non-stick cookware was first introduced. Do you have any Teflon in your kitchen right now? I don't know if it's Teflon, but my George Foreman Grill has a non-stick grilling surface.

6) Elvis thought peacocks were beautiful and commissioned stained glass peacock panels for his living room. Do you have any stained glass in your home? Nope. But here's a photo of those Graceland panels.

7) He tried to keep peacocks at Graceland. One of the birds saw its reflection in Elvis' gold Cadillac and started pecking, ruining the car's expensive paint job. Elvis donated the peacocks to the Memphis Zoo. Have you ever had a bird as a pet? When I was very young, we had a blue parakeet. My mom had him before I was born, and she kept him in my bedroom because I liked him and having him there helped me sleep. One day he and his cage were just gone. My mom tried to explain to me that he'd died, but I was quite confused.

8) Elvis decorated the long Graceland driveway for the holidays with blue lights. His father teased that with the airport nearby, pilots might confuse their driveway with a runway. What airport is nearest your home? O'Hare (or ORD, as the tags on my luggage say).

9) When Elvis was alive, he kept the holiday lights up until January 9, the day after his birthday. That tradition continues at Graceland today. Conventional etiquette tells us Christmas decorations should go up the day after Thanksgiving and come down before January 6 (the 12th day of Christmas). Do you think it's ever too early, or too late, for Christmas decorations? Ah, my parents argued about this every damn year. My dad was very "day after Thanksgiving to New Year's Day." My mom would have kept the tree up until Easter if he'd let her. I think everyone should do as they want.

 

 

Merry Christmas to Sophia

I love the surprise gift I got from my former coworker. But it's the gesture, more than the electric blanket itself, that matters to me. That she thought of me and wanted me to have a Merry Christmas is what touches me. But my condo always runs hot and dry. I seldom even wear long sleeves in here, much less need an electric blanket.

So I returned it to Target and got a gift card. I didn't feel great about this, though. I don't know why, but I just didn't feel comfortable with what I'd done. On the way home I stopped at Whole Foods for some eggs. I was surprised to see their store Christmas tree. They'd had one in this spot for years, but in 2020 and 2021 there wasn't room because Amazon Locker had taken the space. The store had a remodel this year, freeing up room for the tree.

This is a special tree, decorated with little construction paper hearts from the kids at the local children's home. Some kids live there 24/7, waiting for appropriate foster homes or for their parents to get it together and take them back. Others are there because their working parents are taking advantage of the sliding scale daycare. Anyway, each heart has a kids' name, age, sizes and Wish List items. Since the children's home is, literally, next door, I'm happy to take an ornament and fulfill a Christmas wish.

I chose Sophia. She's 10. Her Wish List item is an Amazon gift card. Easy enough. But surely Santa Gal can do better for her than that. After all, I have that Target gift card in my wallet. I used it to get Sophia a green pullover. That seemed in the spirit of the season, in keeping with the intentions of the coworker who gave me the electric blanket.

Amazon gift card and a new top. That's what she asked for. But I thought about myself at 10. What was going on with me? I wanted to feel grown up. I was very into lip gloss and scents. I thought that might be true of Sophia, too.

That's when I remembered the little Body Shop strawberry gift set. I bought it during a clearance sale last spring, figuring I would give it along with a gift card to our admin for Christmas. I'm not working at the agency any more and had no use for it now. I thought the scented shower gel and body wash would be good for young Sophia. It would make her feel all girly and pretty, but it couldn't possibly be deemed "too grown up" by her parents or caregivers.

Pullover, gift card, strawberry gift set.  I feel good about this.