These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Tuesday, February 09, 2021
WWW.WEDNESDAY
Prayers answered, at least for now
I understood a little of what motivated him. Warren has always been very gregarious, very social, very much into sharing his life with everyone he meets. And now, with the pandemic and work from home, he's isolated.
To exacerbate matters, he moved to Wrigleyville this year. It's the neighborhood that cropped up around my beloved Cubs' ballpark. For generations, it was kinda neglected. But then the Cubs started winning and, during this century, it's become younger, more single, and more upscale. It's a lot of bars. (I remember wandering around after a game with my then 19-year-old nephew, and I could see in his face that he thought Wrigleyville was better than Disneyland.) It's filled with rather privileged young people who are sure Covid will never happen to them. Wrigleyville is not where you go to avoid temptation.
Today Warren posted that he realized that he's been "acting like a frat boy" as he tried to escape his "fear and anxiety." I was so happy to see this! He said he's embarrassed by how he's been acting and has reached out to a local church for socially-distanced volunteer work.
I know how hard it is to turn over a new leaf, and I'm not expecting this new attitude to change his life 100% overnight. But I'm glad he sees the problem. Recognizing it is the first step to solving it.
Maybe you had to be there
I did it again. I closed my eyes for "a minute" after work and woke up nearly four hours later! So now I'm wide awake and have turned to my DVR for comfort and entertainment.
God, I love this movie! I haven't seen it in ages, yet I find I recall it nearly scene-by-scene. I find myself saying some of the dialog with the characters. My favorite scene is when Sam walks in on Nick watching an obscure old movie on the late show.
"What's this?"
"I'm not sure."
"What's it about?
"I think the man in the hat did something terrible." And all the men onscreen are wearing hats.
OK, maybe you had to be there.
Anyway, apparently this movie is an acquired taste. On message boards, I've learned that Millennials don't tend to like it. The characters are too rich and too self absorbed and their obsession with pot seems quaint. I get that, too. Maybe you had to be there.
PS Tom Selleck was originally supposed to be in the cast but had to drop out because he was filming Magnum PI in Hawaii and couldn't make it to Los Angeles in time. Writer/director Lawrence Kasdan tweaked the character of Sam (mustache, detective show where he drives a cool car) as a needle or an homage to Selleck. As a big Magnum fan, I really enjoy the touches.
February Blogging Challenge -- Day 9
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
9) Make list of everything you'd like to say "no" to ...
I say "no" to this prompt. With Marjorie Taylor Green, QAnon and Trump apologists being both ubiquitous and toxic, I'd rather accentuate the positive.
This is the earliest available photo of Major Biden as a puppy. The Delaware Humane Society says he is the one at the top.
This litter was found living outside and, being puppies, they'd gotten into something they shouldn't have. The spent their first days at the shelter on fluids. They bounced back, but needed socialization before they could be adopted. Ashley Biden saw a Facebook post about the litter, contacted her dad, and on Easter Sunday, 2018, he became Major's fairy dogfather. Months later, Joe and Jill officially adopted their new family member.
Monday, February 08, 2021
February Blog Challenge -- Day 8
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
8) I feel most tired when ...
I am working hard but on something that doesn't grip me. I have a new automotive client and writing about car care does not come easily to me! Some of the assignments go smoothly and I roll merrily along with my writing, happy that I'm helping build my clients' business. But if I'm working on an assignment that requires a lot of research, it exhausts me. I feel like I just plowed the back 40.
Sunday, February 07, 2021
Two very different women
Jeri is a journalist and a classic movie fan I apparently met at the TCM Film Festival in 2019. I say "apparently" because, honest to God, I don't remember her. But after the festival, when we all got home, she reached out and wanted to be Facebook friends. OK! You want to talk William Powell and The Thin Man movies? I'm your Gal!
Jeri commented on Rosie's birthday pic immediately, saying she's loved Mark Harmon since St. Elsewhere. Rose and Jeri gave one another's drooly comments thumbs up. This amuses me mightily.
For in real life, Rose and Jeri would likely never meet or speak. Rosie is a very devout Catholic. She never misses worship. If she comes to visit you, she'll tell you which of your neighborhood churches she'll be attending and when because she's done her homework. Rosie never swears. Ever. If you cuss (and I do), she will firmly ask you to "cut it out" because it make her uncomfortable.
Jeri was not born a woman, but she lives as one. She writes for The Advocate.
While Rose was very supportive of my gay friend Henry after his accident, contributing generously to the GoFundMe set up to pay his hospital bills, I know that was out of love for and loyalty to me. The LGBTQ world confuses her. She simply doesn't get it.
And today, Rose and Jeri were trading giggling comments on Mark Harmon. It makes my heart happy. I keep hearing how "cruel" Facebook is. I seldom find that. More often, I see connections made and maintained. Maybe I'm a Pollyanna, but I remain a social media fan.
I have an aunt who forgets her manners on Facebook, but that's only in relation to Donald Trump. I blame the former President for that -- his disrespectful all-caps Tweeting just overheated everything and made rudeness fashionable. And I blame my aunt. I know she loves me, but her Trumpy anger eats her up. It came between her and her oldest son early on and, if I let it, it would separate us. I email her regularly, but I won't engage her on Facebook. But that's on her, not Mark Zuckerberg.
Instead, I will enjoy the connection between Rose and Jeri, and I will keep an eye out to see what other of my posts they both respond to. Maybe someday I can introduce them in real life!
A real-life Howard Beale
Fast forward to 2021. Lou Dobbs has lost his gig at Fox Business because much of what he said on air cannot be substantiated. If it could, voting technology company Smartmatic wouldn't be suing Fox and Dobbs for $2.7 billion.
Clearly Fox understands that they have considerable exposure and are trying to distance themselves from the Dobbs "Stop the Steal" conspiracy theories that have been circulating since November. I get that.
And I get how angry white middle-class white people* might have found watching Dobbs rant cathartic.
But this is also obvious: little of what Dobbs said about election fraud can be verified. If it could, he and Fox would be salivating, waiting for a show trial that would vindicate them and substantiate their claims that Donald J. Trump was robbed. Instead, Fox is all, "Lou Who?"
So what I don't get is why the loyal viewers Dobbs has been lying to are still clinging to him. He lied to them. Either he's deluded or he knowingly misled his viewers. But he broadcast untruths. Why the loyalty?
It's like my friend Kathy with Sen. Al Franken. She has long complained that he was run out of office without due process over innocent hijinks. I have always hated what he did. Do I think he was denied due process in the Senate? Probably. But I also believe he enjoyed grabbing the boobs and butts of women he didn't know, just because he could. I'm not going to defend him.
Sen. Al Franken betrayed me. Lou Dobbs betrayed his viewers. Why do we remain so infatuated by the men who do us wrong?
*I've been a middle-class white person all my life and grew up watching this phenomenon. My dad used to yell at the TV, complain about liberal bias and worship Archie Bunker as some kind of Queens oracle who understood how "they" (blacks, Jews, Hispanics, women ...) were trying to crowd him out. I learned from him. Instead of parking myself in a recliner and screaming to no one in particular, I write letters, raise money and work on campaigns. I am, on balance, happier than my dad and have fewer lines on my face because I don't feel powerless.
February Blog Challenge -- Day 7
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
7) I feel most energized when ...
I get out of the shower. There's just something about water that makes me feel good about everything.
Saturday, February 06, 2021
Sunday Stealing
JANUARY, PART 2
2.Could you tell real money from counterfeit? Well, I understand a $5 is supposed to feature Honest Abe and NOT be pink, so I know these are fake. Other than that, not really.
4.What ancient civilization would you most like to visit? Ancient? None, thank you. However I am very curious about 19th century America. I'd like to visit Springfield, IL, ca 1860. I've toured the Lincoln sites so many times and find them captivating. A very romantic time. No slaves, of course. And maybe I'd run into Mary and her boys on Adams Street as they stop by to visit Mr. Lincoln at work. There's a Subway near there now, and I remember daydreaming about seeing them as I ate my sandwich.
6.If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art? No. Art is about what we get from it.
7.What do you get in trouble for the most? Ha! My big mouth.
9.If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? Jeff Bezos and Amazon. Maybe Walmart. An oil company?
10.Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child? Yes.
11.Who knows more...you, or your parents? My parents are both dead, so I win!
12.What instrument would you like to be famous for playing? Guitar! However, see #1. I'm really bad with the manual dexterity thing.
13.Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars? Call me, Bob.
15.What is the coolest web site you know of? I don't know how cool they are, but I spend a lot of time on Goodreads and Letterboxd.
Hero
February Blog Challenge -- Day 6
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
6) What is something you have always wanted to try but haven't yet?
Cross-country skiing. I prefer really cold days to really hot ones, so it would be a fun and healthy way to take advantage of the way I'm naturally calibrated. Also, I have like NO upper body strength, so it would be a good workout for me.
Saturday 9
Saturday 9: Waiting for Tonight (1999)
Unfamiliar
with this week's tune? Hear it here.
2) She sings that she's glad she's beyond those nights that found her tossing and turning alone in her bed. Did you enjoy restful sleep last night? Yes. I put clean sheets on the bed (the flannel ones!) and they felt positively delightful.
6)
Super Bowl Sunday is the #1 day for guacamole consumption in the US.
When did you most recently eat something with avocado in it? I don't recall. I'm not a big avocado fan.
7) Chicken wings are a popular Super Bowl dish, too. When did you most recently eat chicken? How was it prepared? I had a pulled chicken sandwich on Friday.
8)
This year, fast food chain Chipotle will run their first-ever Super
Bowl ad. Do you pay closer attention to commercials during the Super
Bowl? No, because I see most of them before the game. I work for an ad agency. This really is a big fucking deal within the industry.
9) Random question: Are you more likely to pretend to be more naive than you really are, or more sophisticated? I've done both. Most recently I pretended to be really unaware of the thinking behind about a project to save a colleague embarrassment. (Hey! Do you think it's possible that they might have meant ....)
Friday, February 05, 2021
February Blog Challenge -- Day 5
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
5) What is your favorite time of day?
Now that I'm working from home during the pandemic, it's 5:00. No putting on a coat or boots, no jockeying for a seat on the train. I'm just done for the day.
I do miss my downtown worklife, though. In days gone by, I would have chosen 11:30, because that's when I went to lunch. Would I work out? Hide out at a restaurant with a book? People watch on Michigan Avenue? Lunchtime just used to offer so much.
Thursday, February 04, 2021
February Blog Challenge -- Day 4
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
4) If you had a theme song, what would it be?
You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches on ahead. "Two of Us." It's the perfect song for me at this time of my life.
It popped into my head one day as I was watched my mother walk away, toward her kitchen in the house where I grew up. She was in her mid-70s at the time, and suddenly she looked old to me. Sir Paul provided the soundtrack to the moment.
Me and my friend, John. Me and Henry. Me and my oldest friend. Even me and my skinny beige tomcat, Reynaldo. We have loved one another longer than we have left. It's not sad, exactly, because I'm lucky to have such a rich backlog of memories. But it's poignant and important. I must honor our past and treasure the present and accept the inevitable.
How lovely and fitting that the voice that reminds me of this is the voice that's captivated me my whole life.
"Two of Us" is one of the last duets the public heard Paul perform with John Lennon, whom he met in 1957 and would lose in 1980. He wrote it about himself and the Lovely Linda, whom he would lose in 1998. Mortality is an equalizer.
Wednesday, February 03, 2021
February Blog Challenge -- Day 3
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
3) What is a common misconception people have about you? What do you wish they knew?
A common misconception: That I'm tough. I think it's because I don't cry often and I'm seldom at a loss for words, but that doesn't mean that I'm impervious to pain or fear.
What do you wish they knew? How easily I can be hurt. But I'm not sure I want "people" to know that. The idea makes me feel vulnerable. So let's keep it between us, okay?
Tuesday, February 02, 2021
WWW.WEDNESDAY
participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
February Blog Challenge -- Day 2
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
2) What are you looking forward to this month?
Feeling my new financial normal.
I got a raise on December 1, but it didn't appear until my December 31 check, with my Christmas bonus, so it looked like a lot. Then in January, with my refi I got a refund check for overpayment on my previous mortgage account. And, with the refi, my mortgage payment is naturally lower. So in December and January I felt like I was rolling in dough.
That's not reality though. It's not like I suddenly became a Vanderbilt in December. So February is my first real financial month of 2021.
Monday, February 01, 2021
February Blog Challenge -- Day 1
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
1) What was the highlight of the last month?
I'm eating better, or at least regularly. I nap less and stay awake more.
My December and January were pretty much defined by my six week battle with the corona virus, followed by my recovery. I realize how lucky I was, and I'm enormously grateful, but I admit there was a PTSD aspect to my life in January. Every time I went to the bathroom, I worried. I compulsively sniffed things (cologne bottles, air freshener cones) because no sense of smell was my first symptom. Hopefully, in February, I'll leave the worry behind.
Sunday, January 31, 2021
I'm gonna try
I appropriated this from Ms. Kwiz. It seems like a worthy way to impose a little discipline to my thoughts. If you want to join us, please do!
I'm afraid I can't post the graphic as legibly as she's managed to, so ...
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| Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts |
"God, I love baseball!"
Yes, it snowed last night. I know that some people are grumbling and grousing because 6" (Ok, 6.8") is a bitch to shovel and bullockses up traffic. But I can hear the kids outside my window -- I live next to a children's home with 26 kids in residence -- and they're filled with excitement and joy. And here's a photo from last night. As Stevie Wonder sang, "Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful?" There is nothing about this picture that doesn't make me happy, including the salute to health care workers.
I came upon this last week. Lurie Children's Hospital is a not-for-profit on the city's west side, renown for its pediatric cancer unit. Fat Cat is a Chicago restaurant that -- like most independent eateries -- has suffered financially through the pandemic.
My favorite-most Cub, Anthony Rizzo, and former Cub Ryan Dempster brought the two together -- paying for and delivering more than 100 meals to essential Lurie staff. Win/win. Yea!
My hero!
I am told there are people who are not Cub fans. I feel bad for these people.
Saturday, January 30, 2021
Sunday Stealing
1. What is your favorite animal and why? As a species, cats. Though there have been dogs who held a place in my heart, too.
2. Are people animals? What separates humans from animals? We're just mammals with big brains and opposing thumbs. I remember that from school.
3. Which animal is the most dangerous? We are.
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| No other animal would do this, or respond to it with "We love you. You're special." |
4. What should you do if a bear approaches you? Speak in a calm voice and wave your arms slowly up and down. Apparently this will reassure the bear that you're a human and not another bear. I don't know what I'm supposed to do next. I have always been very sure I'll never be approached by a bear.
5. Do you like dogs? Why do people call the dog, man’s best friend? Of course I like dogs. Everyone likes dogs! I think they are a favorite companion because they are so sweet and obedient. (If you require subservience in a furry roommate, do not share your home with a cat.)
6. Do you enjoy going to the zoo? Some people consider zoos to be cruel environments for animals. What do you think? I love visiting the zoo. A responsible zoological society educates us about animals and gives endangered species a safe place to breed. Rodeos and circuses are inhumane. Zoos are great.
7. Where is the best place to see animals in your country? In the world? What animal are you looking for?
8. Are you a vegetarian? What makes some people give up eating meat? I'm not a vegetarian. Why have "people" given up meat? I imagine there are many reasons, some tied to animal rights and their humane treatment, some tied to health.
9. Which animal is most helpful to humans? Probably dogs. Though for centuries, I think horses could have claimed that title.
10 If you could be any animal (besides human), which animal would you like to be? I'd like to be a cat in a household like mine. First of all, I give them the best life I can. Secondly, I admire a cat's nature. They are secure. Cats do what they want to do, secure that it is the wise choice because they are cats. In many ways, I wish I was more like my cats.
11. Who would win in a fight between a tiger and a lion? They don't live together in the wild. If a lion and a tiger got into a fight, somehow a human would be involved, and that would affect the outcome.
12. What do you think about hunting animals? Would you like to try it? I don't think I could ever enjoy hunting or fishing.
13.
Books like “Watership Down” and “Animal Farm” give animals human
characteristics like human thoughts or language. Is this how you think
animals really are? Or are those really just stories about people? Those are really just stories about people.
14. Some animals are endangered due to illegal poaching. How do you feel about this issue? I think illegal poachers are selfish assholes.
15.
If we can bring an extinct animal from the past back with genetic
engineering, should we do it? Which animals should we bring back? To paraphrase Dr. Malcolm, before we find out if we can, we should stop to think if we should.
As the fellow once said, "Ain't that a kick in the head?"
Since November, I've been doing blog posts for my agency's new(er) client. A national chain of auto shops, they hired us to, among other things, spiff up their website. Or, as we pretentiously like to say, "create more robust content." It's not a day-in/day-out thing, but it looks like it will land on my plate monthly.
I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I have no affinity for anything auto. It takes me twice as long to write this stuff as it does for my regularly-assigned financial services client. This causes me tremendous stress.
So when, last week, the client requested a meeting with me, for me and about me, I was filled with dread. I was terrified that it was some sort of corrective summit and I'd be told how I was coming up short, what I needed to do to improve. I've been doing this for 40 years now. I've never had a client ask me off their business. While I am confident such an occurrence wouldn't cost me my job in the short-term -- contractually, much of my salary is subsidized by my financial services client* -- I want to hang on to this job as long as possible and client trouble wouldn't help me any. Also, it would be professionally embarrassing.
The stress has not been good for my still covid-fragile gut.
Imagine my surprise when it turned out we were assembled not to bury me but to praise me. Someone actually referred to my efforts as "amazing." They said that since this is going to be an ongoing relationship, they wanted to give me greater context surrounding their digital efforts. They explained how they see these blog posts contributing to their online presence and their brand credibility in 2021.
They also gave me more time than originally scheduled to do this month's posts. They didn't do this to be nice to me -- the current timeline didn't allow for their legal team's availability. But still, I'm delighted to have more time. As I mentioned, this writing does not come easily to me. More time = less stress.
So nothing I was dreading came to pass and everything is better than fine.
As the sailor said, quote, "Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
*It's at times like this I'm glad I'm one of those creatives who pays attention in the geeky, business side of the business meetings.


















