October Challenge -- Day 17

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 17: Pet peeves. I have two big ones.

1) Space hogs. We all share this planet. Please respect that and don't take up more space than you must. For example, this girl is taking up a seat for her bags, while the man in the yellow shirt has to stand. She sucks. I have ridden the el many times with parcels under the seat, protected by my legs, so someone can squeeze into the seat next to me.

BTW, it's not only rude, it's theft. If you didn't pay for two seats, you don't get two seats.

2) Noise polluters. Now that we have open seating -- which means no offices -- it makes me CUH-RAZY when anyone listens to music or videos without headphones. People do it on the train all the time now, too. What makes you think we're all interested in what you're listening to?

Oh yeah, and there's the woman hear who sneezes really loud and in a very loud pitch. She thinks it's adorable. Sometimes I fantasize about strangling her.

My, but this has left me feeling anxious. Can we go back to Day 5, when we gazed upon hot men?

 

October Challenge -- Day 16

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 16: My bad habits. I am lazy, and I can't stay focused on a task or subject that doesn't grab me. This is a very immature way to go through life.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? The Twist and Shout Murder by Rosemary Martin. This is my first foray into the "Murder A-Go-Go" mystery series. The cover blurb says it's "That Girl meets Mrs. Marple." The book is set in 1964, so it revels in go-go boots and miniskirts and hoop earrings. A New York model named Suzie is found strangled with a Pucci scarf. Since Suzie was a bitch, there's no shortage of suspects.
 

I just started this book and so far, it's lighter-than-air and entertaining. Which is exactly what I need after the tome I recently finished ...

 
2. What did you recently finish reading?Little Gloria ... Happy at Last by Barbara Goldsmith. I wear Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. I watch Anderson Cooper. So I'm not unfamiliar with Gloria. But I admit I know little about the 1930s custody case that once captured the nation's imagination.

It's fascinating, filled with intrigue and legal shenanigans and sex and rumors about sex. And at the heart of it all is a diffident little girl. She was a pawn in the battle between her wealthy aunt -- who wanted to keep the Vanderbilt money in the family almost as much as she wanted to keep the Vanderbilt name out of the gossip columns -- and her mother. Little Gloria's mother never really seemed to understand that, legally, her late husband's money was her daughter's and not hers. (For example, she actually had to be told that she couldn't bill her daughter's trust for cartons of cigarettes.) She had no idea how to mother a confused, fatherless little girl. Did anyone want to actually love and care for Little Gloria? I came away feeling nothing but sorry for the richest little girl in the world.
 

At more than 600 pages, it's overlong. Too many names, too many titles, too many family trees. But still, it's an intoxicating brew of money, celebrity and class.

3.  What will you read next? Michelle Obama's autobiography. Unless I change my mind.

October Challege -- Day 15

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 15: What causes a feeling of insecurity?

I'll approach this not with what, but with who, because I can think of two women who make me feel endlessly insecure about my femininity.

1) My all-time idol, JBKO. She was strong, but she made strength feminine. And then there was her visual sense.As First Lady, she restored the White House and designed the iconic exterior of Air Force One. Personally, she personified glamor -- and I have no glamor.

Not me

And here's a poem she wrote at 9 1/2. Pay attention not only to the rhyme, but to the carefully drawn border and her lettering. This was Jackie Bouvier as a fourth grader. I couldn't do this now.

The other is my friend, Joanna. She can be rather Jackiesque, in that she always knows how to tie a scarf, add a bangle, and look put together, even for an afternoon lunch at a diner. She also knows architecture and classical music (I do not).

Oh, I know I'm better informed and more astute about current events than Joanna. So it's not like I don't feel the playing field is, at least in some ways, level. But Joanna is more powerfully and conventionally feminine than I am, and that makes me insecure.

 

Tuesday 4

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October Challenge -- Day 14

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 14: What makes a person lucky? As Bruce Springsteen sings in "Lucky Town" ...

And though I believe Bruce, I still have a Lotto ticket in my wallet because it pays to cover one's bases.

 

October Challenge -- Day 13

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 13: Good at keeping secrets? My own or others'. Quick answer: no. I don't like secrets, as I believe they are corrosive. On the other hand, I do respect privacy (my own and others'). So it's good that many of my friends haven't met. I can complain about Henry to John, and rail about John to Henry, get it out in the open and off my chest, without worrying about betraying them.

 

Sunday Stealing

More than Tuesday Four

This week we're stealing from a meme that's still active! I'll have to remember to visit it and play. We meme mistresses should stick together.


1.   Have you ever known anyone that’s been on tv, including you? My mom was proud to see me on the local ABC news the night Bill Clinton was elected in 1992. I was a campaign worker, cheering when he was declared winner.

2.   What do you find yourself buying all the time? St. Ives scrubs. I use them on my face, decolletage and feet every day.

3.   When was the last time you got a real letter in the mail? Last week. From my cousin Rose. We write, old school, about once/month.

4.   Have you ever lived in a house/apartment that has been broken into? Nope.

5. Did you walk to school with your friends? Take a school bus? Ever have someone carry your books home from school? Walked to grade school, car pooled to high school. No one ever carried my books for me.

6. Do you like pumpkin seeds? Do you carve the pumpkin and roast the seeds? Do you buy packaged, prepared pumpkin seeds? Pumpkin seeds are fine, I suppose. I have no deeply held feeling about them one way or the other. I've never prepared them in any way, and haven't carved a pumpkin in decades.

7. Does your car or did a family car have a name? Nope

8.  The first week of October was National Mystery Series Week. Do you sleuth alongside Nancy Drew or Miss Marple? Fan of Nero Wolfe? I used to read Nancy Drew enthusiastically. In 2015, I visited the Soboroff Typewriter Collection and completely fangirled when I saw this, one of the typewriters used by "Carolyn Keene" to write Nancy Drew stories.

 




And I love Nero Wolfe, too. Or, more specifically, Archie Goodwin. I think he's sexy and very funny.

9. Have you ever spent ages writing something on your computer when it suddenly crashed and you lost it all? Haven't we all?

10. Are you one of those people who can sleep through anything? No

11. What type or kind of art do you like? And do you draw or paint yourself? My favorite artist is Thomas McKnight. He describes his work as "landscapes in acrylic, featuring flat vibrant colors." I don't paint myself, and have no idea what I just said. To borrow a phrase, I just know what I like.

Thomas McKnight's Lake Shore Drive

 

12. If you went to London, where would you go first? Abbey Road Studios!

13.  What is one quote that you love to quote? "What man has done, man can do."

14.  Do you ever at times see the world in black and white? Yes.

15. Do you believe there is life somewhere else in the universe? Intellectually, yes. I mean, why not? Emotionally, no. I mean, I'm not worrying about an alien invasion.

It's been a year

A year ago, Henry downed a few glasses of wine at Phyllis' home, got on his bike, and pedaled square into a Chevy Van. He suffered a shattered ankle, but the more immediate and life threatening issue was his traumatic brain injury. First we worried if he would live at all. Then, would his memory be OK? What about his motor skills?

It was weeks of not knowing. Then he seemed OK, but wasn't. TBI can be tricky. Henry was filled with rage about his condition. He was confused and terrified. He was full of fight and resistance.

He's had trouble distinguishing between reality and flight of fancy. He's suffered through morbid, paranoid fantasies that he has accepted as true.

He's come such a long way. He goes to church each week. He writes for the poetry guild. He misses as few days of work as possible. He still has trouble reasoning on occasion, still gets depressed, but good phone calls outweigh the bad. He's worked very hard, and his courage really is inspiring.

I have not always been as patient with him as I should be. I have fallen short on empathy, because I have no way of knowing what it was like to wake up from a coma and find myself different. I have been frustrated because I've found myself in a situation I am not equipped to handle.

But we're still us, me and Henry. We've worked through this. I am grateful. And we end every call with "I love you." Because his accident has emphasized that tomorrow is not promised.

That felt good

I finally heard from my oldest friend today. It's been over a month since I even saw a Facebook message from her, much less shared a conversation. It felt good to reconnect, catch up, and laugh.

She  has her health woes -- most notably her recurring bladder issues and now a broken toe -- but she's able to laugh about them. She's been incommunicado because her computer crapped out, she had to buy a new one, and the new Microsoft Word had her flummoxed. I was glad to hear that. I was afraid she was battling depression again, and when she gets dark, she can get very dark.

I updated her on me -- work woes, worry about John and Henry, money concerns, and the hole in my heart where Anthony Rizzo should be. I find that it's still, weeks after the season ended, impossible for me to have a conversation without mentioning the Cubs. I think maybe I need help.

We talked about Nanos. She is participating in Nanowrimo, too. It will be nice to have a writing buddy to compare notes with.

I feel so much better for having talked to her. I've known her since I was 4 1/2 years old. She is my touchstone. I am stronger for having her in my life.

Saturday 9

Live Like You Were Dying (2003)

Unfamiliar with this week's song. Hear it here.
 
1) This song is about a man whose father advises him to live life to the fullest, to become "the friend you'd like to have." How about you? Are you the friend you'd like to have? Yes. I am a good friend.

2) The song lists several "bucket list" items: skydiving, mountain climbing, riding a bull. Have you done any of those things? Would you like to? I would like to try skydiving. I think it might help me conquer my fear of flying.

3) In the music video, Tim McGraw is wearing a white button-down shirt, blue jeans and a cowboy hat. Which of those items is in your wardrobe? Jeans, jeans and more jeans.

4) He wears a cowboy hat because he is embarrassed by the size of his forehead. When you wear a hat, are you more likely doing it for style, like Tim, or for protection from the elements? I'm not much of a hatwearer. I'll wear a hood or earmuffs when the weather demands.

5) McGraw's biological father was Tug McGraw, pitcher for the Mets and Phillies. How did your baseball team do this season? Oh, my Cubs! They collapsed in September and the city is abuzz with who will be traded during the off season. We've already bid adieu to our fantastic manager, Joe Maddon, the man who led us to the World Series in 2016. The tension is unbearable, because I really love the core of this team and saying goodbye to any of these players will be wrenching. 

Hot rumor: KB won't be in Cubbie blue next year. BOO!

6) Tim McGraw and wife Faith Hill live just outside of Nashville. They enjoy inviting friends over to sit around a bonfire, drinking beer and playing guitars. Tell us about the most recent gettogether you had with friends. I don't tend to do big parties. I like one-on-ones with my friends. Recently, I caught up with Will, the moderator of our classic film group, before we attended the Noir City Film Festival together. It was nice because he and I are usually together in a group. It was interesting to get to know one another better, after knowing one another for more than five years.

7) Tim likes his tattoos. He admits his silliest one -- a leprechaun wearing a cowboy hat -- was acquired during a night of drinking. Do you have a tattoo? If so, are you glad you have it and would you get it again? No tattoos.

8) In 2003, when this song was popular, the supersonic

Concord took its last flight. When did you most recently board a plane? What was your destination? LAX-ORD. I was coming home from the TCM Film Festival. It was grand!


9) Random question: When did you last walk around the house naked? Just now. I sprayed moisturizer on my back and shoulders and didn't want it to rub off on my clothes.

That was a nothingburger

My GP retired in August. This made me very sad, because I trusted her implicitly. I can't say I was surprised, though. I knew she was by now 65 or perhaps a little older, and I knew she was tiring of her the drama and politics surrounding how the practice was being run. Once day, back in 2016, she said, "I think I'd work forever if only they'd play nice."

So I was faced with a dilemma: do I go with the new, in-practice doctor recommended for me, or do I doctor shop? I decided to stay in-practice because the new doctor would (theoretically) have access to more than 20 years of my medical history.

Of course, any benefit from staying would depend on the new doctor reviewing my history.  Which he clearly had not before our first meeting in late August.

I was there to get prescriptions refilled and, naturally enough, he wanted to see me before got out his pad. It was obvious during that first visit he had no notion of my history. When he asked for me dates when I had this or that test or vaccine, I'd say, "Isn't it in there?" Likewise when he wanted to know what dosage of these meds I'd been prescribed. I was frustrated.

Also, he referred me to an allergist and a urologist for my allergies and kidney stone. Really? What does my new GP do, just act as traffic cop, referring me to specialists?

I realize that I resist change. I thought maybe I was so pissed at him because he wasn't Dr. Mary, whom he never could be, and that maybe I should give him a second chance.

So, when I began getting robocalls saying that I needed a follow up visit to discuss my test results -- turns out my A1c is 6, which indicated pre-diabetes -- I went back. After all, I need a flu shot.

What a nothingburger! He did give me a breast exam and a flu shot, but he was notably more chill and less condescending. (At our first meeting, he asked me if knew I had varicose veins. Gee, no I didn't. I'm never naked and don't own a mirror.)

He's not convinced my high blood sugar is due to diet, since my cholesterol is better than it's been in years. He think it could be my decidedly sedentary lifestyle and wants me to move more and then we'll check it on six months.

His only dick moment came when, in a discussion of exercise, I mentioned* my chiropractor had recently given me the go-ahead to resume exercise. Oh? Did this chiropractor take any x-rays? Did this chiropractor read the x-ray himself? Hmmmm .... it would be helpful if the chiropractor sent the x-ray to my doctor's office. Oh, I get it, Mr. MD. You're just better than my chiropractor. Um ... no you're not. And besides, even if my chiropractor sent the x-ray over, I have no faith this doctor would even look at it.

OK! I admit I miss Dr. Mary soooooo much!

 
*This was already in my chart, too, you know!

October Challenge -- Day 12

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 12: Words to describe me. Cat mom, aunt, friend, writer, citizen, Christian ... I answer to them all.

 

October Challenge -- Day 11

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 11: Favorite gadgets -- how do they enhance life? I've thought about this a lot. Some of the gadgets I use the most, and am most dependent on, do not only enhance my life. My cell phone keeps me too connected and robs me of privacy, the internet distracts me from more productive tasks, cable TV leaves me so informed that I'm often depressed, my late and lamented microwave filled my apartment with smoke, even my iPod causes anxiety because I know I'm supposed to do something with iTunes but haven't yet.

Then, EUREKA! I thought of the little darling that greets me every morning. My shower radio never brings me anything but joy.

 

October Challenge -- Day 10

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 10: Movies that make me cry. 

"You're a great dog, Marley." From Marley & Me. If you've ever gone to the vet with a pet and left without him or her, you know how heartbreaking this is.

"Look after Ashley. Look after him, but you must never let him know. Be kind to Captain Butler. He loves you so." From Gone with the Wind. Wasn't Melanie just the best and wisest?

Birthday Boy

From 10/9/07 ...

They Say It's Your Birthday, It's My Birthday, Too, Yeah  

No, it's not my birthday. But it would be his, were he still with us. Happy birthday, John.

He was a giant, and his career cast a long shadow over music, over his generation, and over me personally. John was never one of those artists who was afraid to let his world view inform his art. He was aware that there were those out there who just wanted him to stay a "mop top" forever, to do fun music that didn't make them think. But he understood that the role of the artist always has been to challenge the status quo. I loved him for his uncompromising courage in this area.

Just because he knew how to articulate what he saw around him and set it to music doesn't mean that's all he did. Not by a long shot. Now that I've given him his props for his message music, I want to shine a spotlight on one of my favorite (and lesser known) Lennon CDs, Rock'n Roll. If this CD has a message, it's simply that early rock can fill us all with joy. I still miss the old boy, but I'm grateful I can still hear these 13 songs through my iPod headphones whenever I feel like celebrating his life.

1. Be-Bop-A-Lula
2. Stand by Me
3. Medley: Rip it up/Ready Teddy
4. You Can't Catch Me
5. Ain't That a Shame
6. Do You Want to Dance?
7. Sweet Little Sixteen
8. Slippin' and Slidin'
9. Peggy Sue
10. Medley: Bring It on Home to Me/Send Me Some Lovin'
11. Bony Maronie
12. Ya Ya
13. Just Because

October Challenge -- Day 9

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 9: My favorite movies. I have so many! Here's the criteria I used in settling on these five: If I'm flipping through the channels and happen upon a movie, MUST I stop to watch it? With these five, the answer is a resounding YES.

 

Not really nice

I work with the same art director on all my projects. She calls me "partner." We spend more time with each other than we do with anyone else. I understand how to work with her now, and our synchronicity makes things go more smoothly. I find her presence comforting at big, agency-wide meetings.

But you know what? She isn't very nice.

She can be competitive, and she doesn't really care about people.

I wish this wasn't true and it makes me sad.

Here's what brought it back to me on Monday ...

My original blog post

First meeting of the day found us reliving the staggering news we received on Friday. The agency's relationship with our client is suddenly nowhere near as solid as it's been for decades. We were told outright that there would be changes -- some of us can be expect to be moved to other accounts, some could even be let go ... nothing is immediate, stay tuned.

After the meeting, I went down to the food court for lunch. I had to be alone, to think, to recharge. My table had these flowers. I ruefully thought they were appropriate to the day. I snapped the photo and posted to Facebook Friday, saying: "The flowers on my lunch table. Kinda emblematic of my day."

It got sympathetic clicks and the first comment was from, ironically, my favorite client contact, who wrote, "Aw ... If you ever need to unwilt, call me!"

I mentioned this to my immediate team on Monday for two reasons: 1) Obviously word of our agency/client fracture hasn't reached the rank-and-file in the client's offices and 2) isn't our client contact nice?

My art director completely misunderstood the point. She seemed annoyed that I'm Facebook friends with the client and said haughtily, "Yeah, I saw your flower post but I didn't understand it so I kept scrolling."

Why say that?

I replied, "How could you not understand? We got very bad news on Friday, remember?"

She shrugged.

People's lives are going to change. Some are going to lose their jobs. How does she not understand how upsetting this is? Is she so certain of her promised inheritance from her father that she doesn't care if she loses her job? Is her relationship with her boyfriend so secure that she's sure he'll help her out? Or (as I suspect) does it bother her that I have a relationship with our client contact that she could have, but doesn't?

I want to like her. I want to believe she likes me. But then shit like this happens. I know this sounds childlike, but I hate being reminded that everyone isn't nice.

October Challenge -- Day 8

I'm joining Ms. Kwiz for her October blogging challenge.

Day 8: Things I collect. Stuff. My home is overrun with stuff. Paperwork. Books. DVDs and cassette tapes. Samples of my work over the years. Stuff!

MARIE KONDO, I NEED YOU!