It seemed fitting

My neighbor Walt made sure there was always a calendar on the bulletin board in our laundry room.

He lived in this building for many decades before he died at age 90 in May 2017. Until 2016, he was a good neighbor. Then he got ... well ... inappropriate. Maybe it was the meds he was taking for the variety of conditions that plagued him. I started avoiding him because he creeped me out so badly.

But that's not the measure of the man, is it? Should all of his many years on earth be judged based on one? So I made a small gesture in his memory. I hung one of the free calendars I received this year, right there on the bulletin board in our laundry room.

Rest in peace, Walt.

How is Napoleon?

Tomorrow I go back into The Loop for the first time in two weeks. For the last week or so, it's been frigid here. It's not predicted to get up to bearable until this weekend ... and then it will snow.

I can't stop thinking about the homeless, both human and furry. Specifically, I've got Napoleon on my mind. This cat's humans -- Caleb and Randi -- can't possibly have raised the $450+ it would take to stay indoors for 10 nights at their preferred shelter, which both offers shower facilities and welcomes pets.

So where has Napoleon been? Is he OK? As my own Reynaldo and I battle over his prescription, chicken-flavored cat food (more than $2/can!) I worry about Napoleon. He had on again/off again bouts of diarrhea before I left for my holiday vacation. That could be serious, that could be nothing. I recommended repeatedly that they should take him to see a vet, but I know that the vet who is familiar with both Napoleon and their situation requires a $45 cash payment before he'll see the cat.

I wonder if Napoleon would be better off at the Anti-Cruelty Society. They don't get that many young cats this time of year, and if his health is sound he may be adopted quickly. But what would that do to Caleb and Randi? They love that cat so much. I am haunted by the memory of her, sitting on the sidewalk in the rain with Napoleon in her lap, crying in the chilly night because she was sure he was ill. Caleb has told me that rescuing Napoleon has given their lives meaning. So while I'm sure Napoleon would do well by being put up for adoption, I'm not sure his humans would recover.

Last time I went to church -- Christmas Eve -- I started to cry, thinking about Napoleon and Caleb and Randi. My darling friend, Henry, usually so compassionate, just kind of glazed over when I told him what was wrong. One of my coworkers has made it plain that she doesn't approve of my relationship with them. Either it embarrasses her that I drop to my knees to talk to them on the corner outside our office, or she thinks they are con artists (or maybe both). My oldest friend doesn't want to hear about them, either. I suppose she has so many of her own problems that this is just too much.

And, I guess, there's the fact that I haven't actually helped them in any lasting way. Over the last

six months I've probably spent just over $100 on them. Not enough to make a real impact on their situation. I have learned that they appreciate being spoken to as people, not "homeless people." Caleb loves talking books, Randi loves talking about Napoleon and hearing about my cats. So I suppose my friendship matters. And I did help Caleb get his teenage shoplifting conviction expunged (though it took too long to help him get that job he was counting on).

I don't know what the point of this post is, really. My heart is full and rather heavy and I thought it would help to get it down. If you're still reading, thank you for listening.

2018 is NOW

Thanks to Kwizgiver, I have chosen a theme word for the upcoming year:

NOW

adverb

at the present time or moment

 

I find myself struggling with concentration on the here and now, instead of what had been's or what if's. I realize this is a subset of my 2017 issue/OneWord: FOCUS. I suspect that my 2017 word was too broad and too aspirational. Perhaps that's why I can't point to any single accomplishment last year that I can attribute to FOCUS.

 

I hope that by narrowing and sharpening my focus (there it is again) on the NOW, I'll be happier and more productive. 

 

 

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: Year End Hodgepodge

1. Where have you found unexpected magic or delight this holiday season? I had a lovely time at the new The Tennessee Williams Exhibit I discovered in Key West. It's not that it's extensive or detailed. It's not. But it was done by locals with such affection for their late neighbor that it made me happy. Here's my post about it.

2. What's your favorite type of holiday gathering? Will you/have you gathered in your favorite way this month? I like being surrounded by people who love and accept me. And yes, I've enjoyed the holidays that way.

3. Time has named 'The Silence Breakers' (women who came forward with stories of harassment)  'person of the year' for 2017. Would you agree? If not, who do you think deserves the title? YES! Yesyesyesyesyes, 100x yes. I could not agree more with the recognition for The Silence Breakers. This is how change happens. Bravo to Ronan Farrow for sticking with the Weinstein story and starting the ball rolling.

4. How did you spend your time this year? Are you happy about that? Elaborate. I wasted a lot of time this year. Agonizing and fretting. Farting around on Farmville. I hope I will be more disciplined in 2018 (though I doubt it).

5. Bid farewell to 2017 in ten words or less. Thank God, everyone I love is more or less healthy.

6. Insert your own random thought here. The Cubs play the Marlins in Miami on March 29. GO, CUBS, GO!

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: It's Just Another New Year's Eve

1) In this song, Barry Manilow declares New Year's Eve is "just another night." How do you feel about 12/31? Is it a special occasion or just another night? Just another night. Otherwise I've found New Year's Eve is never as much fun as it's supposed to be. This year my plans got cancelled and I'm OK with that.


2) Barry sings that in the past year, "we've made mistakes." What in 2017 do you wish you could do over? Back in September, I saw a confidential document on the Xerox machine that detailed plans for my department in 2018. I've been worrying and fretting about what I saw ever since. I wish I had taken the damn thing and read it in its entirety. Then maybe I'd actually understand what's going on!

 
3) He also sings of happy nights with friends. Tell us about a really good time you had in the past year. Also in September, I went to Wrigley Field with my friend John. The game itself didn't matter -- my guys had already clinched a place in the play-offs and my favoritemost Cub (Anthony Rizzo!) didn't even play. But it was a great day. Sunshine, camaraderie, and margaritas in my favorite place in the world. (BTW, the Cubs play their first game on the road on March 29. I just have to hang on for 90 more days.)

4) The song references growing wiser, as well as older. What's something you learned or discovered in 2017? I learned about Rosemary LaBianca. Up until I read Helter Skelter this year, I thought she was "just a housewife," just "another victim" of the ugly Manson "family." She was a gallant and accomplished woman. She went from single mother to millionaire entrepreneur in the early 1960s, before the women's movement made business more welcome for women. She was a loving mother and stepmother. She deserves to be remembered.

5)  What do you wish you had spent more time doing during 2017? Working out.

6)  What was the smartest thing you did all this past year? I did a very good job for my client this year. There are projects I can point to with pride.

7)  As this year comes to a close, what are you most grateful for? My health.
  

8) When this week's featured artist, Barry Manilow, was a jingle writer, he wrote the famous "You deserve a break today at McDonald's" song. When's the last time you visited the Golden Arches? It's been months. But every time I go, I completely savor the Big Mac. I really do love that burger every now and again.
 

9) Random question: In high school, were you more popular with the boys or the girls? I hated high school so much. That said, I did have girl friends that I hung around with on occasion.

Goodbye, Friend

Today, I heard that Sue Grafton died. I enjoyed her "Alphabet Series" so much! Her writing was crisp and smart. I admired her savvy in handling this franchise (refusing to allow made-for-tv movies, keeping it set in the 1970s). I loved her characters, especially Kinsey and Henry. Her last book, Y Is for Yesterday, is currently on the best seller list and was one of the books I just picked up this past week.

Sue Grafton mattered to me. So, in tribute, I'm reposting a Thursday Thirteen from 2008.

THIRTEEN THINGS ABOUT KINSEY MILHONE

Kinsey Milhone is Sue Grafton’s creation, the heroine of the popular “Alphabet Mysteries.” So I realize Kinsey is fictional, even though she seems like a buddy. After all, we’ve gone from A Is for Alibi through T Is for Trespass together.

Earlier this year, I did a TT on Patricia Cornwell’s Kay Scarpetta, the bigger-than-life, this-close-to-perfect doctor/lawyer/gourmand. While Kay is the kind of woman I hopelessly aspire to be, Kinsey is far, far more accessible. There’s nothing intimidating about my buddy Kinsey. Down-to-earth, no-nonsense, fabulously flawed and very funny, she’s as comfortable as a pair of old running shoes (her favorite footwear).

1. When she was 5 years old, she and her parents were in a car accident. Kinsey was the only survivor. While she grew up to be a successful and self-sufficient woman, Kinsey has intimacy and abandonment issues, and it’s not hard to see why.

2. She was raised by her Aunt Gin. A contented and single woman living in Santa Theresa, California, Aunt Gin did the best she could. But she never planned on having a family, and didn’t quite know what to do with a traumatized little girl. So while these two lived in the same house, we really don’t imagine them together very much.

3. Her career at Santa Theresa High seems to have been devoted to smoking pot, cussing, and doing only what was necessary to not flunk. After graduation, Kinsey joined her aunt at California Fidelity Insurance, working as a receptionist and hating it, until she was old enough to try her hand at police work.

4. It was joining the Santa Theresa Police Department that straightened our girl out. While she had big problems with the regimentation that went with being a cop – she left the force after just two years – she discovered she had a passion for investigating and protecting the good guys from the bad ones.

5. Kinsey endured two short, unsuccessful marriages. The first, to Mickey, occurred after she left the force, when her Aunt Gin died and she was emotionally adrift. Her second husband was a musician named Daniel. Since they each turn up in books, and so as not to be a spoiler, I shall say no more. Of her husbands, Kinsey has said, “I dumped the first and the second dumped me.”

6. She’s had a few lovers throughout the alphabet – Charlie, Jonah, Dietz (my favorite) and Cheyney. None of these relationships have lasted because we all know her great love is really …

7. Henry Pitts, her landlord and best friend. He’s in his 80s, but that doesn’t stop her from completely adoring him. She mentions his blue eyes often. He bakes for her, shares Happy Hour with her (he has Jack Daniels on ice, she has her wine), celebrates Christmas and birthdays with her.

8. Rosie runs Rosie’s Tavern, Kinsey’s favorite restaurant. Rosie has brightly dyed hair and wears print muumuus and annoys Kinsey no end. She is also a fabulous cook, and her tavern is Kinsey’s refuge after even the most dangerous “day at the office.” Rosie, Henry, and Henry's various siblings make up Kinsey's surrogate family.

9. Kinsey has some unconventional talents, which come in very handy in her chosen profession: lying, picking locks and snooping. She enjoys all three equally (which is to say she enjoys them all a great deal).

10. She’s not a fitness nut, but she understands that being in shape is as important to her job as a good set of picklocks. So she jogs 3 miles every day. Sometimes she enjoys it, oftentimes not.

11. She owns a single, all-purpose black dress, doesn’t wear makeup and has been known to hack at her curly hair with nail scissors.

12. She drinks lots of coffee and loves McDonald’s. Especially Q-Ps with cheese and Egg McMuffins. She has referred to fats and carbs as “nature’s antidepressants.”

13. Unlike other fictional crimefighters (like Scarpetta or Robert Parker's Spenser), Kinsey often has to resort to markedly unglamorous tasks to pay the rent. She’s served subpoenas, investigated car insurance claims and taken jobs with clients she hasn’t really cared for. Seeing her in workaday situations makes her seem more real to me.

I know that since she's already on "T," Sue Grafton will reach the end of the alphabet, and this series, soon. Too soon for my taste. I'll miss Kinsey: she who writes clues down on index cards and arranges and rearranges them, trying to solve the crime; she who cleans compulsively and never leaves home without a paperback in her purse; she who has a strict personal code and lives by it. I've enjoyed every moment I've spent with her.

Not with a bang, but with a series of whimpers

2017 wasn't a bad year for me, but it ends on uncomfortably because I have to slather myself with a prescription corticosteroid every few hours (see post below). But it seems so many people around me are suffering.

Joanna. First, she came down with a terrible chest cold that just won't let her go, and caused her to cancel her year-end visit to New Orleans (and miss her niece's wedding). Then she had to put her beloved black girlcat to sleep. Now she's had to beg out on our year-end celebration because of that tenacious cough and now a toothache. Because I'm still scratching and clawing, I'm just as happy to stay home in my pajamas and ointment. But still, I feel bad for her.

My coworker. I can't believe how her Christmas has unfolded. First her father went from California to Texas for the holidays with one of his daughters, and was promptly hospitalized with a heart attack. Then, on December 23, her mother -- long in custodial care in Los Angeles -- died. Mom's been cremated, but there has been no service because dad isn't strong enough to make the decisions. I can't imagine what this is like for her.

My oldest friend. She can no longer afford her apartment and is moving in with her cousin. I think this is a wonderful, because my friend moved from Chicagoland to California to be near her. She, however, seems to view it as yet another indication of her failure to make her life work out there.

Somehow, my itchy skin doesn't seem so bad.

Doctors and movies

My Thursday began with a trip to the vet. Reynaldo needed bloodwork as part of his six-month exam. He was a real trooper, which was a relief because fasting for bloodwork can leave Rey feisty. His preliminary tests came back A-OK, and now we just have to schedule him for dental work in January.

Then I went to immediate care about all my scratching and clawing. Really, these bites are making me crazy! I got prescription strength ointment: triamcinolone acetonide. Hopefully it will make me feel better today, after 24 hours of use. (Please, God!)

While waiting for the doctor, I checked my phone and found that the water in my building had been turned off. Well, hell! I wasn't about to go cocoon anywhere that doesn't have a flushable toilet! So I impulsively went to the movies.

I was curious about All The Money in the World because of current events. Kevin Spacey had already completed his performance as J. Paul Getty when word of his certainly unsavory and perhaps illegal conduct came to light. Rather than risk backlash at the box office, director Ridley Scott decided to reshoot scenes of the movie with Christopher Plummer in the supporting but pivotal role. Scott had less than a month to do it. A daunting task, a prohibitive timeline. And yet he, and his cast, accomplished it seamlessly.

I'm old enough to remember the story of the Paul Getty kidnapping in real time. So I knew when to look away during a critical scene. I also knew how the movie would end. I wasn't aware of the conspiracy involved in his kidnapping, and I was impressed by both Plummer and Michelle Williams. Oh yeah, and I remain a little in love with Mark Wahlberg. (Note to self: watch more Mark Wahlberg movies in 2018.)

Christmas Eve, Christmas Day

Christmas Eve. Church and Dinner. Went to a very choral service in Key West. Their long-time musical director is retiring on December 31, and so the pastor virtually handed the service over to him. I would have preferred a bit more sermon, but Henry loved it. Since the only time he goes to church is on Christmas Eve with me, I suppose it's a good thing that he had such a wonderful time.

Then we stopped and had a light dinner at the restaurant where their friend Patrick is now working. I had a bowl of butternut squash/coconut soup, and Henry munched on the charcuterie. Got back to my room and found this lovely gift from hotel management.

My Christmas Day dawned and I welcomed it by munching on the gingerbread man the hotel gave me. Then I went for a dip in the pool.

Then I went for a walk. First stop was the beach. This is literally the southernmost spot in the contiguous United States. Next piece of land after this is Cuba.

Then I went shopping, picking up some Tahitian vanilla ice cream for dessert after our ham dinner, cooked by Reg (who keeps trying to get me like rutabaga).

Christmas 2017 is now documented!

I must be a lady of letters, part 3

Key West now has a Tennessee Williams Museum. It just reopened on December 15, a week before I arrived. It's not very big, but it's very sweet. So lovingly done. And, truth to tell, I've always enjoyed Williams' work better than I have Hemingway's, so I had a lovely time.

Williams finished Streetcar in Key West

I must be a lady of letters, part 2

I love cats. I appreciate Ernest Hemingway. So I always enjoy visiting The Hemingway House in Key West. I don't go every year, as it's one of those touristy things my Conch friends have done to death, but this year I made a point of it. So much of CNN's Hurricane Irma coverage centered around The Hemingway House, and I wanted to see for myself that the building and its feline residents are OK.

They are! It's always a kick to watch the Hemingway cats. There are at least 50 who live there. It's one of the provisions -- if the house is to be used as an attraction, that's fine, but Papa's cats and their descendants all have to remain welcome. Being cats, they make themselves comfortable throughout the house. Even on the old man's bed. The signs say we mere humans are not allowed to touch the furniture. But cats know they are descended from Egyptian Gods, and therefore are entitled to plant themselves wherever they wish.

Tour or no tour, it's nap time on Hemingway's bed

Naptime in Hemingway's bathroom

No cats (at the moment), but still my favorite room. This loft is the room where it happened, the studio is where Hemingway wrote A Farewell to Arms, For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Old Man and the Sea, and The Sun Also Rises.

I must be a lady of letters, part 1

There's a bookstore in Key West run by a dear friend of my friends. Before she took over the bookstore, she was a bartender with Reg. Then, when she was just getting started as an entrepreneur and Henry was unemployed, she gave him a job in the bookstore, shelving volumes and working the register.

I know how much she means to them, so when I saw that the store sustained considerable damaged during Hurricane Irma, I called and bought a $15 gift certificate for Henry. That was September and his birthday isn't until December, but September is when she was cash-strapped. She promised to keep it in the register until I came down for Henry's birthday/Christmas.

Unbeknownst to me, Henry was thinking the very same thing, and I got a $100 gift certificate for my birthday from the same bookstore. While the dollar amount made my eyes pop, it's really not as extravagant as it looks. The bookstore has a used book section, and now that Henry works at the local library, he keeps it stocked for his friend. He rescues the books that the library removes from the shelves, buying them for 25¢ or 50¢ each.* She insists on paying him, just as she would anyone else she buys used books from. Since Irma, he has collected a lot of store credit, and rather than having her open the register and pay him, he gave it to me as a gift certificate.

And so, on my first day in Key West, we had a shopping spree. Here's my $100 haul. It was a delight to walk through the shelves and say, "Wrap it up! I'll take it!"

Henry used his birthday present/gift certificate from me on a self-help book for his friend, Patrick. A head waiter at a popular restaurant in Maine, Patrick knows he won't make much money at home during these exceptionally snowy months and took a leave of absence. He's staying with Henry and Reg for the winter and working at a Key West restaurant because he is, in his own words, "poor as a church mouse." They'd agreed not to exchange gifts because the whole point of this trip was for Patrick to make money. But, since it was purchased with a gift certificate, Henry didn't think Patrick would mind. (And who doesn't want a gift under the tree?)

*I believe that's what he said he paid. I don't remember exactly (I'm so bad with numbers). I just recall it was a small amount.

Sights seen in qurky Key West

Parked next to us at the airport

Embracing Peace is a 25' tall installation by Seward Johnson

I was excited to see The W under palm trees

A drag queen will climb into that stiletto and they will drop at midnight on NYE

The Official Drink of Christmas 2017

The margarita, frozen and with salt. This was my standard drink order in Key West. We even stopped and raised a couple in the original Margaritaville Cafe, right there on Duval. My friend Henry suffered brain freeze.

Layover learning

I spent hours and hours in ATL as I waited between flights. I designed it that way. I didn't want to stress over missing my connection because of snow when I took off from Chicago or rain when I took off from Key West. I happily discovered that, if you have to be stuck in an airport for hours and hours, Hartsfield-Jackson is good.

They have a permanent exhibit devoted to Dr. King! Maintained by the King Center, it's case after case of personal items, donated by Coretta Scott King. And harried travelers just barrel past it, concentrating on their phones and roller bags and don't even notice the history right there. I'm grateful I had the time to stop and look and take it in.

These are just the parts of the exhibit that were easiest to photograph

His 60s-style transistor, wristwatch, the glasses he really didn't need but often carried.

The actual suit worn for his Oval Office meeting with LBJ, 1965

The worst of all possible worlds

I'm home from Christmas in Key West. Oh, am I ever home! It was bright and 80º yesterday when I got on the plane, and 0º last night when I landed in Chicago.

But I haven't slept well these last few nights. Not because I miss the sun and the palm trees, but because the Key West No-See-Ums feasted on me. Those welts have literally interrupted my slumber.

From mosquitomagnet.com

So even though I had a lovely holiday, and I'm happy to be home, I feel that right now I'm experiencing the worst the South and the Midwest have to offer.