Dads and daughters

Three pair are on my mind today.

My friend Ed is still in New York, still tending to his very ill and hospitalized daughter. The situation is so awful that I don't ask him detailed questions, don't want him to put words to the unspeakable. I just say open-ended things like, "What's up?" and let him take it where he wishes to. Today I learned that his daughter is OK right now, after a scare that revolved around a spike in her temperature.

My best friend was in the hospital today, too. The ER with his younger daughter. She fell HARD on her knee during PE class. Fortunately it's nothing serious. "Now it's ice and ibuprofen for the next few days." This is a relief because she's so devoted to her ballet classes, and it would break her heart if she had to miss many Nutcracker rehearsals.

My oldest friend is moving to California, which will necessarily separate her daughter and ex-husband. This makes me sad because, while I have long believed her ex is a cluck, I also believe that he loves his daughter in his way and that it's only natural for the girl to want to love him. I hope my friend can separate her feelings about her ex-husband and encourage their daughter to see her dad over Christmas and summer vacations.

How sweet the sound

Sometimes everything comes together to create a moment that's perfect. Today, I had one of those moments walking back from lunch. I saw my McDonald's Man, asking for change on Wacker Drive. I haven't seen him in a while, so I was happy to find him good spirits. So happy that I added a hot apple pie to my order. I gave him the pie and some change and, per usual, he told me that "my kindness will not soon be forgotten."

It was then I heard a street musician on clarinet begin to play "Amazing Grace."

Yes, I am saved. And the only meaningful way to show my gratitude for His Grace is to pay it forward when I can. My simple act gave me such a complete, contented feeling.

I Want Wednesday

I want to hear the rest of the story.

On the train this morning, I sat near a lawyer who was speaking very loudly on her cell, advising a client named Nancy about her divorce settlement. Mr. Nancy has quit showing up for court, thereby making a final settlement take longer than Nancy had anticipated. So Team Nancy is forging on without him, producing documentation for the judge that will show how much he has made in the past from his rental properties. The lawyer predicts the judge will decide that 28% of his profits should go to Nancy for child support.

Is Mr. Nancy a deadbeat dad, trying to deny his children the maintenance they deserve? Is he represented by counsel who advises him to stay away from court? Or is he a poor schmuck, just trying to keep body-and-soul together, even as the vindictive Nancy attempts to crush him?

And does Nancy realize how entertaining her legal doings were for this otherwise bored commuter this morning?

Uh-oh

En route to the train this morning, it began to rain rather hard and it seemed I was alone on the village street. So I gave in to nature and let loose with the loud, Coca-Cola/CoQ-10-induced, carbonated and fishy belch.

Promptly thereafter a young man passed me on the sidewalk.

Oh, well. It felt good.

10 on Tuesday -- Devoted to Spenser

I just finished Painted Ladies, one of the Spenser mysteries published after author Robert Parker's death, and I really enjoyed it because I have always been a little in love with Spenser. However the quality of this series varies wildly, and if you're not a fan, I fear you may pick up one of the ooky ones and not give the good ones a shot. So here, as a public service, are the 10 best books in the series, in order and by my personal proclamation. (After all, it is my blog.)

1) The Godwulf Manuscript (1973). The first book in the series. From Shelfari: "For Spenser, that most unorthodox of private detectives, no case is ever straightforward and the theft of a 14th-century illuminated manuscript proves no exception. His investigation soon leads him into organized crime, dope-pushing, theft, radical politics, adultery and murder." This book is important not only because it introduces us to our hero, but because it gives us a glimpse of him pre-Susan Silverman. Susan is his great love, a Harvard-educated shrink, and I'd say that loyal Spenser fans are split on her except for the fact that we all seem to kinda hate her. Think of her as Boston's answer to Yoko Ono.

2) Mortal Stakes. Book 3. One of my favorite Spensers. One of my favorite mysteries. One of my favorite baseball books. One of my favorite books -- PERIOD. "Everybody loves a winner, and the Rabbs are major league. Marty is the Red Sox star pitcher, Linda the loving wife. She loves everyone except the blackmailer out to wreck her life. Is Marty throwing fast balls or throwing games? It doesn't take long for Spenser to link Marty's performance with Linda's past...or to find himself trapped between a crazed racketeer and an enforcer toting an M-16. America's favorite pastime has suddenly become a very dangerous sport, and one wrong move means strike three, with Spenser out for good!" There's a lot of action and thrills in this book, which I admit I enjoy, but it's about much more. We're introduced in this book to Spenser's code of conduct, what makes him different (and better) than many of good guys he encounters. It's about who we love and we choose our partners and why we stay loyal or stray. Plus Spenser takes us to Fenway in this book, and his love of baseball is palpable. It's the hot dogs, peanuts and beer and more. It's sitting in a legendary old ball park watching a game that has changed little over the decades and can easily become a metaphor for what's good and bad about us.

3) Looking for Rachel Wallace. Book 6. "When Spenser accepts a job as a bodyguard for a beautiful lesbian activist, he gets in way over his head." This book is very popular with fans of the series. While I didn't enjoy it anywhere near as much Mortal Stakes, it's still one of my favorites. First of all, Parker writes so evocatively about Boston -- even the snowstorms. Secondly, it further illustrates how Spenser's personal sense of responsibility sets him apart from other lawmen (both police and private). He's a complicated, sensitive tough guy, as capable of making mistakes and being humble as he is of derring do and smart-ass remarks (a Spenser specialty).

4) Early Autumn. Book 7. "A bitter divorce is only the beginning. First the father hires thugs to kidnap his son. Then the mother hires Spenser to get the boy back. But as soon as Spenser senses the lay of the land, he decides to do some kidnapping of his own. With a contract out on his life, he heads for the Maine woods, determined to give a puny 15 year old a crash course in survival and to beat his dangerous opponents at their own brutal game." In this book we meet Paul Giaccomin, the son Spenser never had. It's their relationship, more than the action, that makes this book memorable. There are no easy answers -- not in Paul's life, not in real life, either, and it's refreshing to read a book that understands that.

5) Ceremony. Book 9. "Spenser's out to make war, not love, as he goes after Boston's entire X-rated industry. Pretty teenager April Kyle has disappeared into the city's darkest underworld, and to rescue her, Spencer pits muscle and wit against bullets and bullies." First of all, I like this book because Susan is actually useful instead of annoying. Secondly, it looks at the damage done to children in "good homes," and shows how far we'll go and where we'll turn to find acceptance if we're not getting it from our bio family.

6) Crimson Joy. Book 15. "They call him the "Red Rose Killer" because he leaves one on the body of each woman he kills. But then the madman's eyes turn to Susan Silverman, and Spenser is on the case. For when Susan's life is in danger, Spenser becomes a hard-fisted, unstoppable locomotive--determined to bring the criminal to justice no matter what the odds!" This is an exciting book because the villain of the piece is just plain nuts, and his insanity brings an unpredictability that frustrates the logical Spenser. Adding to the suspense is that the loony's target is Spenser's own lovely Susan. There's less typical wise-cracking and banter in this book, but I thought that rang true. Spenser and Hawk are more emotionally involved with this case than with almost any other in the series.

7) Small Vices. Book 24. "Ellis Alves is no angel. But his lawyer says he was framed for the murder of college student Melissa Henderson...and asks Spenser for help. From Boston's back streets to Manhattan's elite, Spenser and Hawk search for suspects, including Melissa's rich-kid, tennis-star boyfriend. But when a man with a .22 puts Spenser in a coma, the hope for justice may die with him." Of course, Spenser won't die. This is only Book #24. But being seriously wounded, and vulnerable, changes our hero in profound ways. It's the impact his shooting has on his relationships with Susan and Hawk, how he learns to accept their love and support during his convalescence, that makes this book very special.

8) Sudden Mischief. Book 25. "Susan's ex is quaking in his boots... Susan Silverman's ex doesn't call himself "Silverman" anymore--he's changed his name to "Sterling." And that's not the only thing that's phony about him. A do-gooding charity fundraiser, he's been accused of sexual harassment by no less than four different women. And not long after Spenser starts investigating, Sterling is wanted for a bigger charge: murder." So we learn more about Dr. Silverman's past in this book, and it her inner life isn't always as beautiful as her appearance. At times we want to scream, "Physician, heal thyself!" Still, it's interesting to watch Spenser deal with her when she's under stress. At times, she's a total and complete bitch and he not only acknowledges it, he accepts it. Not because he has the patience of Job -- though he must, risking all to help her ex as he does -- but because he loves her and is committed to their relationship. He and Susan are it in for the long haul and, even without the formal vows, that means "for better or worse."

9) Back Story. Book 30. "An unsolved thirty-year-old-murder draws the victim's daughter out of the shadows for overdue justice--and lures Spenser into his own past, old crimes, and dangerous lives." Just as Mortal Stakes is enhanced by Robert Parker's love of baseball, Back Story is made immeasurably more believable and moving by Parker's love of dogs. The death of Spenser and Susan's baby, Pearl the Wonder Dog, is handled beautifully. Humanizing our hero even more is the return of Paul Giaccommin.

10) Cold Service. Book 32. "When his buddy Hawk is beaten within an inch of his life, Spenser infiltrates a ruthless mob in the name of friendship--and revenge." I'm ambivalent about this one. It's an important book in the series because it explores the profound bond between Hawk and Spenser. However, by this book, a lot of the wisecracking seemed stale, and I was really annoyed by how old the characters had to be by now. Remember, Godwulf Manuscript was published in the mid-1970s. Still, this series was primarily about the relationships, and viewed through that prism, this one pays off. Think of it as the sister to the superior Small Vices.

It's been more than a MONTH

And we're still down to one dryer for 24 apartments in the building laundry room. So unless something unforeseen happens, it's back to the washeteria again for me this week. I'm watching this over and over again, hopefully trying to get my mind right.

BlogBlast for Peace Is Almost Upon Us

My post is ready and will be revealed to the Blogosphere on November 4. What about you? Are you read for the BlogBlast for Peace?

You can trust me, because I'm a BlogBlast for Peace Veteran. Imagining a more peaceful world is wonderful for your soul!

Movie Monday -- All About Fall

Share on a sampling of fall flicks, linking back here at The Bumbles.

Home for the Holidays. A great cast -- Robert Downey, Jr., Holly Hunter and Anne Bancroft -- as a fabulously dysfunctional family getting together for Thanksgiving. My favorite Fall scenes involve traveling in the autumn chill when you've got a cold, as Holly Hunter's character does. It's funny because it's so relateable. Whenever I travel this time of year, it seems either I'm sneezing or the passenger next to me is.

Ordinary People. Going back to school stirs ambivalent feelings in every kid, but it was even harder for Conrad Jarrett than for the rest of us. Since the movie was filmed in the Chicagoland area, I know how it felt to walk to school in a too-short skirt with leaves swirling around my bare legs … having to go outside after swimming with wet hair, waiting for a ride ... running across an empty field to catch the bus ... This movie is spot-on in its sensuous depiction of high school life.

Breakfast at Tiffany's. There's a terrific scene, about 2/3 through, when Holly thinks she is saying goodbye to both Paul and Manhattan. They go for a walk up and down the city streets with the late afternoon sun bouncing off the skyscrapers and everyone in their tweeds and sweaters, and Holly talks about how hard it will be to say goodbye to all this, and how she wants her children to see it someday. Autumn in New York is just too beautiful.

Today's horoscope

"Don't waste time on nostalgia or restless fantasies. You have something to do right now while your emotions are intense. Keep breathing; calmer weather is on the way."

Yeah, right.

I'm fine. I truly am. I'm a little worried about my finances, but isn't everyone?

It's my oldest friend, my mom, Kathleen (who starts radiation today) and Ed that really concern me.

Being honest with my blog

I'm not proud of this, but it's true. I realized today why I've been so angry at my mom lately: I'm mad at her for getting old, which she's been doing rapidly this year. I don't want her looking so wrinkled or becoming so ditzy. I don't want her to be mortal and I hate that she's going to die. It's not imminent, but it's sooner rather than later. And I hate it.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: Another 50 Questions Meme, Part One (perhaps)

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Unlike pot roast, mascara is NOT better on the second day.

2. How much cash do you have on you? About $40.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Galore.

4. Favorite planet? Space Station 7. It's the home base for the aliens who invaded earth in Ed Wood's Plan 9 from Outer Space.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My friend Mindy

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? The one it came with.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Robert the Haunted Doll shirt. Do not screw with me.



8. Do you label yourself? I prefer to be referred to as, "barren spinster."

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? I'm barefoot.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright

11. Did you do anything to celebrate John Lennon's 70th yesterday? I spent the day sitting there watching the wheels go round and round.

12. What does your watch look like? Fossil, white face, black numerals, brown band.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Dozing on the sofa

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? "OK." My niece is a succinct young woman.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? Near the next el stop

16. What’s a word that you say a lot? "Frankly"

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? My mom

18. Last furry thing you touched? My cat, Joey

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? A fistful! To control my cholesterol and allergies.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? I have a half-used disposable camera

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 35

22. Your worst enemy? You're talking to her

23. What is your current desktop picture (extra points if you post it)? JBKO. I love the story behind this shot.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "No problem."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be? Flight

Small, intense and memorable

Never Let Me Go is a very special little film. Set in a parallel universe, where cancer and neuromuscular diseases were cured back in the 1950s, we follow three children from an English boarding school to young adulthood. We learn very early on that it's not their education that makes these children special. All the children at the school are clones, or perhaps test-tube babies, bred as spare parts for the rest of us. They are why life expectancy now reaches 100 years.

It's not a sci-fi movie. It feels more like Atonement. It's interested in how these three live, and feel about, their special existence. There's not a lot of action, it's a thoughtful character study. And it will stay with you.

It stars two popular magazine cover girls -- Kiera Knightly and Carey Mulligan -- so I'm surprised it hasn't received more buzz. If you get an opportunity to see this little arthouse film, do it.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Hush

1. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? The more nervous I am, the blabbier I become.

2. Do you take compliments well? As Oliver would say, "Please, Sir, I'd like some more."

3. Are you judgmental? I can be.

4. Do you think more about the past, present or future? The future.

5. What do you hate? Bullies! Pick on somebody your own size, why don'tcha?

6. Use three words to describe yourself. Loyal, pudgy, verbal.

7. Do you celebrate Halloween? Explain: I don't celebrate beyond handing candy out to wee ones. I think that's pretty self-explanatory.

8. If you were mixing up a witches brew, what would be in it? Six drops of the essence of terror, five drops of sinister sauce, and a tincture of tenderness.




9. If you're in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? The one nearest the wall.

A Birthday Tribute from an Unexpected Source

Today, October 9, is the 70th anniversary of John Lennon's birth. Google, the preeminent search engine on the Internet he never got to see, posted this tribute.

I often wonder what John would be doing today ... how he would have responded artistically to 9/11 and the war, how he would have cut through all the maudlin bs surrounding Michael Jackson's death like he did when we lost Elvis. Now let me add the web and social media to the list. Wouldn't John's tweets be a blast?

Today, I'm going to imagine how fabulous a world with John still in it would be!

"The hardest thing I've ever gone through"

I exchanged IM's with Ed today, and that's how he described sitting in his daughter's hospital room, wearing a mask, listening to her on the phone. She and her fiance are changing their plans, moving their wedding date up to as soon as she leaves the hospital. I didn't have the heart to ask why.

He mentioned how impressive his wife has been. "One tough cookie," he wrote admiringly. The ultimate movie fan, Ed described her as "more Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment than Sally Field in Steel Magnolias."

It's not lost on me that both those movie heroines lost their daughters by the last reel.

Firefox, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Us?

Company-wide, my favorite-most browser is down. I feel like a pioneer woman who has to cook over an open flame, wash her clothes by beating them on the rocks by the river, and use Safari to post to her blog.

What a nice boy!

My Friday sight seen: Two portly, matronly-looking ladies -- a mother and daughter, I guess. They were chatting rather animatedly in Spanish while looking at the lilac lacy underthings in the Cacique window. Standing close by -- but not too close -- was a lad in his late 20s. You could tell by every line of his being that he was mortified to be stuck there, on Wacker Drive on a busy sunny lunch hour, in front of the plus-sized lingerie. But there he stood, patiently and respectfully, waiting for (I assume) Mom and Grandma to finish their unutterably embarrassing conversation.

But I just saw him last Tuesday!

My former boss, Ed, and I had lunch last week. He was in such good spirits. We talked about how he and his wife spent their 30th anniversary in Hawaii, about his daughter's upcoming nuptials, about how he's been out of work for nearly 3 years now but is still looking -- it surprises him that people think he's retired.

Right before lunchtime, I received this email from him:

"I have been trying to figure out a way of telling people that last week our daughter was disgnosed with leukemia last week. We are in New York and plan on being here for a while. She has had 7 chemo treatments and will have followup when her strain is totally diagnosed. We are stilll in shock. Whole thing came on very quickly."

This is such monumentally sobering news that I haven't processed it completely yet. Life changes on a dime, doesn't it? We can't take anything for granted.

I Want Wednesday

I want to win tonight's Illinois State Lottery. It's up to $5.2 million. After taxes, that's $2,500/week for 20 years. I'd be very happy with that.

No, change "happy" to "content and secure." For as my best friend has said, money problems are seldom about money. And when I worry about money, it's not the cash that scares me. It's the feelings of vulnerability that worrying about money inspires. I'm confident I'll always eat. But it's feeling like no one has my back, that I'm fighting this battle all alone that I hate.

Which winning the lottery would settle once and for all. So keep your fingers crossed for me!

Queen's Meme -- Falling

1. What is your favorite part about the Fall season? How suddenly comfortable the weather is. I'm happy to be outdoors, instead of avoiding it, like I do during the summer heat and humdity.

2. When was the last time you fell in love? We were riding along the River in a cab, very late. And I saw his profile by streetlight and spotted a heretofore unnoticed, tiny scar by his eye and asked him how he got it. He literally fell off the back of the truck at his grandpa's farm when he was a little boy. I thought about how big that scar would have been on his tinier face, and how close he may have come to losing that blue-gray eye, and I was overwhelmed with a desire to kiss the boo-boo. Ooky girly emotions like that only mean one thing: LOOOOVE.

3. Have you ever injured yourself falling down? Last March, on my way home to visit my mother and give her a framed photo of my niece, I took a tumble and landed in the street. The frame shattered but I wasn't cut. I was so relieved that I initially didn't notice how scraped and bloody my legs were. The next day I looked like a first grader, with bandages up and down my legs and shins.

4. Imagine that your head is on the guillotine block and the blade is about to fall on your head. What is your last thought? "They say I won't feel a thing."

5. Do pumpkins scare you? Nope.

6. You are free-falling from the sky to Earth. It has taken you 3 days to fall from the galaxy and you are hungry. Where do you land? Five Guys Burgers and Fries.


7. I found this painting by John Everett Millais: Autumn Leaves (1856). It struck me totally funny. Look at their faces. What are they saying? What is going on??! It's the March girls -- from left, Meg, Jo, Beth and little Amy. They're doing chores for their Aunt March. This was before rakes, so they had to collect the leaves in a basket.

To play along yourself, thereby avoiding the dungeon, click here

Movie Monday -- The Supernatural

Share your favorite movies with those witchy, surreal, psychic or alien happenings, linking back here at The Bumbles.

Sliding up the banisters ... carousel horse races ... jumping in and out of chalk drawings ... tea parties on the ceiling ... From the moment she descended upon the Banks' home, somehow clutching the advertisement that the children wrote and their father disposed of in the fireplace, special things began to happen. She, of course, is Mary Poppins, my first favorite movie heroine. I still think she's practically perfect in every way.

Passage to adventure

Today my nephew and I celebrated his 11th birthday. In addition to a Harry Potter t-shirt and backpack, I got him a pair of passes to Safari Land, an indoor amusement not too far from his home. I included a gas card and a Visa giftcard so it won't cost his dad (or his mom or sister, whomever he convinces to take him) anything to spend the day with him. I can't wait to hear how their safari goes.

Our celebration itself was a little anti-climactic. Poor little guy was completely beat. He had such a big Saturday -- beginning with a soccer game, then a birthday lunch with his parents and my mom, and a sleepover with friends which found them singing and playing Beatle songs on WII Rock Band until after 3:00 -- that he actually snoozed for a while this afternoon after the sugar buzz from his cake wore off.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Time Traveler Meme

The Rules:

1. Depending on your age, go back 10, 15, 20, or even more years.
2. Tell us how many years back you have traveled and why.
3. Pretend you have met yourself during that era, and tell us where you are.
4. You only have one "date" with this former self.
5. Answer these questions.

Okay, as we start, what year is it and how old are you? 1980, and I'm 22

1. Would your younger self (YYS, from here) recognize you when you first meet? Barely. I'm much heavier than I was then, but not that much fatter than I was in high school.

2. Would YYS be surprised to discover what you are doing job wise? I don't think so. I was fearless, if not ambitious, in those days.

3. What piece of fashion advice would you give YYS? Sure, those spike heels look good, but they really are hell on your feet. They're not worth it, Young Gal.

4. What do you think YYS is most going to want to know? About my love life. All I really had on the mind those days was men.

5. How would you answer YYS's question? It's amazing how many frogs you're going to kiss.

6. What would probably be the best thing to tell YYS? As I recall, no one could tell me anything in those days.

7. What is something that you probably wouldn't tell YYS? That Kristin shot JR.

8. What do you think will most surprise YYS about you? How much I now love my alone time. Back then, a Saturday night at home would be cause for mourning, not celebration.

9. What do you think will least surprise YYS? How far I've come professionally. On the one hand, I didn't work very hard in those days. On the other hand, I had no idea how much hard work it would take.

10. At this point in your life, would YYS like to run into "you" from the future? No. I think that Gal would find this Gal unutterably and depressingly straight and boring.

A lazy day that took me from Boston to Mayberry

My tummy is still giving me a bit of grief, so I took things very easily today. Slept in, ran errands, went to lunch, saw The Town -- set in Boston, with lots of great shots of the city, and Jon Hamm with perpetual 5:00 shadow -- and watched The Andy Griffith 50th Anniversary Marathon on one of our local stations. Wonder how Andy and Barney would have done in Charleston ...

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Friends, Again

1. Do you make and keep friends easily? Yes. I'm really blessed that way.

2. Who was your very first friend? The woman I refer to on this blog as, creatively enough, "my oldest friend." We met in Kindergarten (Mrs. Erler's afternoon class) and later that school year her family moved into the apartment building across the alley from our house.

3. Who has been your friend the longest now? See above. I remember our serious bonding taking place over The Beatles after their life-altering appearance on Ed Sullivan when we were in the first grade. I, naturally, chose Paul as my fave rave, since my love-at-first-sight that Sunday night was like a force of nature. She went with George. We're friends to this day and yesterday I put in my time-off request at work so I can spend her 54th birthday with her in California this December.

4. Tell us about your best friend. He is a good person, who tries every day to be a better one. He puts the well-being of his family first at all times. And he gets me. He actually admires me! So being around him is as comfortable as being wrapped in a quilt.

5. Tell us about the friend who gets on your nerves the most, and why. It's gotta be Kathy. There's much about her I appreciate, but she can make me nuts. For example, she's always tweaking me for being too conventional in my approach to life. Particularly religion. While I'm a practicing Unitarian Universalist, I still believe Christ is my personal savior. How bourgeois of me! I should consider the Tao and Indian mysticism! And, even as UUs go, why did I have to choose such a provincial congregation? They talk about GOD all the time! She's clearly more creative a soul than I, for she's not spiritually satisfied within my church. Now let me be clear: I don't care what you or anyone else believes because I know that Jesus is there for me, the same way I know the sun sets in the west. I'm not evangelical in any sense of the word, it's Kathy who kept visiting and revisiting the issue. And then guess what -- SHE JOINED MY CHURCH! First time I saw her sitting a few pews in front me, she just kinda shrugged and giggled and dismissed it as one of those "Kathy things" she does. I didn't strangle her then and there because I have too much respect for houses of worship and besides, I know I would have been prosecuted.

6. Tell us about the last time you let a friend down. I can be too hard on the aforementioned oldest friend. But it's hard to watch her indulge her almost irresistible attraction toward self-sabotage.

7. Tell us about the last wonderful thing a friend did for you! An ex invited me to his youngest son's high school graduation. We broke up in 1981, and yet he still thought enough of me to include me in this big event in his life. I was very, very touched.

8. What was the last 'friend' thing you did? Last weekend, my oldest friend and I went though a big box of old teeny-bopper fan magazines, junior highschool vintage, and laughed sooo hard at what turned us on back in our long-ago virginal days.

9. Have your ever been jealous of a friend's S/O? My oldest friend was recently involved with a guy who had the nicest, firmest arms. Especially noteworthy for a man over 50. I called him Billy Big Arms and asked if, now that they have broken up, I can do him. She just laughs because she knows I'm kidding. I am kidding, right?

John Mahoney sighting

Had to go to the damn washeteria to do my laundry again last night. (Hopefully by next weekend the washers and dryers in my building will be repaired for good!) Anyway, the journey took me up the street where I used to live and I saw my former neighbor, John Mahoney, aka Frasier's dad. He was helping an elderly friend out of a car and into his wheel chair.

They both just said "hi," and I said "hi," back, more worried about the more senior citizen feeling on display with his disabilities than I was of embarrassing Mr. Mahoney.

The last time I saw him was maybe 7 or 10 Christmases ago, when I was behind him in line at Coconuts as he wrapped up his holiday shopping.

I like that he hasn't gone Hollywood, and still lives in his same apartment.

I don't feel good

And I extend my sincere sympathies to whoever followed me in the ladies room.

If I don't start feeling better soon, I think I will gingerly travel back home.

92% says it's DONE!

Kathleen gave me a ride home yesterday and reported that her test results could not have come back better: there's only an 8% chance of her breast cancer recurring!

The next step is radiation. Five days/week for six weeks, starting next month. The hospital is right up the street from both her office and mine, so I can visit her after the treatments if she'd like. While radiation seems like a day at the beach compared to chemo, it is still draining and if she wants someone to lift her spirits, well, I'm always happy to babble away merrily.

I Want Wednesday

Right now, I just want everyone to be happy. Or maybe happier. Or perhaps just OK.

I don't think my oldest friend has any real idea what's going on with her daughter, a new freshman whose world view is disturbing and whose sense of self is rather flexible. I suspect this girl would benefit from a mom and dad who co-parent, despite their divorced status, but I'm quite sure that's not going to happen. I've learned that the opinion of barren spinsters is not always welcome at times like this, and I know my friend believes it's my sworn duty to dislike her ex. And I do! I could give chapter and verse as to why he's a douche! But I also believe he loves his daughter and that, despite all their clashes, she loves him and this situation worries me.

Kathleen still hasn't updated me on the next steps of her cancer treatment. Why not? What's up? If it turns out she does indeed need chemo, I have a recommendation for a terrific wig salon. I want to help, but I don't want to hover. (I can be an annoying hoverer, you know.)

My uncle's birthday was Saturday. I sent him a giftcard, but he never acknowledged it. That's OK, really. It's depressing that this former millionaire is now a ward of the state who needs the $25 I sent. Besides, he took my cousin, his only child, to court over a petty and completely baseless claim. If this is where his disease has taken him, I guess it's just as well I don't hear from him. "Old age is a shipwreck." That's what President Kennedy said after spending a day with his father, who had suffered a debilitating stroke. Ain't that just the truth.

My shrink is sad, too. (See below) And I can't do anything about it. Nor, I suppose, would it be appropriate for me to, since one of her recurring mantras is that I'm not expected to "fix" everything and everyone, nor am I even able to. Still, I think it sucks for her.

Yet somehow I'm in a good mood today. Really. I just wish I could bottle happiness like cologne and spray it on everyone I love.

"Sad is part of life"

So my shrink told me this evening. We weren't talking about me, we were discussing her. But only in the most superficial terms, because she doesn't like us spending my time talking about her. I know her husband has had a rough summer, health wise, which has caused her to cancel some of our sessions. I asked her if she had good news to report and she answered guardedly that she has "hopeful" news.

I feel vulnerable. I know that I'm not her most critical patient, only seeing her once a month. But it's such a comfort to know she's there if I need her.

I also feel badly for her. I've been seeing her since the 1980s. I have been able to tell, by the photos on her desk and the artwork in her waiting room, that her children have grown up and had children themselves. I know she and her husband have been together 40 years.

I know "sad is a part of life." I know that people get old and sick. I may have to accept it, but I don't have to like it.

10 on Tuesday

Here's what's on This Old Gal's mind this sunny Tuesday.

1) I'm worried about my philodendron. I inherited it from an abruptly-dismissed coworker around Christmastime, 2004. At that point, his roots were bursting through the cheap white pot he was stuck in. I transplanted him into a roomier terra cotta, made sure all sides got light, and he's been flourishing. Except his roots were starting to appear on the surface of the pot, so after almost 6 years, I repotted him again. This time into a big ass, 10" pot. I hope he's OK, that the shock of the move didn't damage him. It's startling how attached to him I have become.

2) And his baby brothers ... the little shoots I am watching take root in the vase right beside him.

3) Bob Brenly. The Cubs TV announcer doesn't want to manage the Cubs. He officially took himself out of the running. Fine by me, I enjoy him in the broadcast booth. But it looks like there are still 3 candidates -- former Cub and current Yankee manager Joe Girardi, Cubs interim manager Mike Quade (who has been doing a fine job), and Cubs great Ryne Sandberg. Ryno was my grandma's favorite player of all-time, so I know she's in Heaven, intervening with God on his behalf.

4) Ed. Had lunch with my friend and former boss today. He was upbeat and in good spirits ... and kept surreptitiously looking down my t-shirt. Good God, we've known each other since the late 1980s! In all this time I never noticed him checking out my bod before.

5) Egg burgers. I had my first one for lunch today -- an egg sunny-side up served on an open-faced burger. It was yummy. I'm now a convert.

6) "Someone told me it's all happening at the zoo." I absolutely hate it when strangers walk by my office and peer in at me. It's an office. I'm banging away at my keyboard. What else would I be doing? The least they can do is toss me marshmallows as they stare, like visitors do when they gawk at the polar bears.

7) Space and time ... and the Beatles. In just a few weeks, on October 9, John Lennon would turn 70. A 70-year-old long-haired lad from Liverpool! Imagine that! I wonder what he'd be like now.

8) The new mom two doors down. I hope my coworker has her baby, a boy, on October 9. There's profound karma attached to that day. Not to mention "Instant Karma."

9) My pedi. I don't care what the calendar says, I'm wearing sandals until it starts to look funky.

10) My uncle. His birthday was Saturday. I sent him a card and he didn't acknowledge it. He's also been rather malicious toward my cousin, his only daughter. I think I just have to get used to the fact that he's fading and will never get better, will never be the same. Shit, I hate this.

Gordon Gekko, Superstar

This is the second terrific performance I've seen by Michael Douglas in two months (the first being Solitary Man). One of the things I've found interesting about his work lately is that he's exploring the lives of men over 60. Given his current health problems, it's especially poignant to watch his characters face their own mortality. And, in the case of Gordon Gekko, you want to scream every time he lights a cigar. In the movie, it's a sign of privilege, in real-life, it's simply dangerous and stupid. Also, he has a monologue about Gekko's son, Rudy, and drug addiction. Again, the way art imitates life is chilling. I'm also reminded that Michael Douglas is great at delivering monologues. It could be what he does best. Whether it's "Greed is good," from the original Wall Street, or "I am the President" from The American President, he's good at talking to the camera, and us, effortlessly holding our attention all by himself.

This Wall Street sequel is a very well made movie. Visually it's high-tech and glam. The performances (Douglas, Shia LeBeouf, Frank Langella and Josh Brolin) are uniformly solid and engaging.

I did have a problem with the script/plot. It was so Byzantine that I got lost in who was scamming who and what was happening with this or that deal and what the ef is Susan Sarandon doing in this film, anyway? So I just kinda gave up and enjoyed the ride.

Movie Monday -- Heists and Capers

Share your favorite heist & caper movies that create criminal characters we end up rooting for, linking back here at The Bumbles.

I could have named this post, "Hello, Gorgeous," because these movies stars are exceptional looking men. They each have a compelling screen presence, sure, but they're also very handsome. Maybe that's what makes bad boys "characters we end up rooting for."

Bonnie and Clyde. They were young … in love … and they killed people. Both very violent and very moving, it's one of the most influential American films ever made.

Ocean's 11. A confection. The opposite of Bonnie & Clyde, really. There is nothing remotely plausible about this movie, but when a film begins with Clooney in a tux, you know it's going to have an exceptionally high charm quotient.

The Sting. Henry Gondorf and Johnny Hooker, aka Newman and Redford, the two coolest men who have ever lived, pulling off one of the most complicated heists ever filmed.

Catch Me If You Can. Leonardo DiCaprio is aw-shucks terrific as a kid with a heart of gold and a penchant for larceny.

"I wish I was a kid again, doing what I did again ..."

I spent Saturday with my oldest friend. She's getting ready to move across country to California, to begin a new job and a new chapter of her life. Our festivities included emptying out her safety deposit box and saying goodbye to her parents' graves. But the real fun part was going through a box of old 16 and Teen Scene magazines from the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Ah, Bobby Sherman! David Cassidy! Barnabas from Dark Shadows! Pete from The Mod Squad! Yes, all the dashing heartthrobs of our junior high years were represented. They each faced heartache, shared love secrets and begged to be our faves. At times, I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

I don't think I'll see her again now until December, when I go out to visit her in her new home for her 54th birthday. But we're in contact almost every day, sometimes more than once a day, and I'm sure that won't change. We're closer than sisters, and a few miles isn't going to change that.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "I've Been Tagged" Meme

1. Where are you from? Brookfield, IL, a village just 15 miles west of Chicago. I can't believe it's only 15 miles, because it couldn't be a smaller small town. It is also the home of The Brookfield Zoo, one of the country's really great parks and if you ever get a chance, you should visit it and say "hi" to my favorite animals, the okapis, for me.

2. If you could live any place in the world, where would you live? I can't imagine living anywhere else. I believe Chicago is the greatest city in the world: four seasons, a thriving theater community, easily accessible public transportation, diversity and, of course, The Cubs.

3. What's your favorite blog? I'll check them out of course! SnarkyPants. Who is she? Here are 100 Things about Her.

4. What is your biggest blogging pet peeve? Dopey comments. There was one blogger in particular, someone I barely knew in even the flimsiest cybersense, whose blog I never visited, who would come by and say the most pointless shit, I think just to get her link out there. For example, I wrote a long post about a film classic, and she left a comment saying, "Never saw it."

5. What's your favorite TV show this season? I need a new show! :) I have to favorites: NCIS and Mad Men.

6. What's your favorite 'down' time {nothing computer related}? Reading

7. Are you a parent? If so, what's your favorite thing to do with your children? I'm a barren spinster

8. What about your blog, have you considered changing? Not much. I have changed backgrounds time and again, but I like this one and shall keep it for a while.

9. What do you do for a living (if you work outside the home or if you work at home)? I'm at a writer for a venerable Chicago ad agency which is mentioned frequently on Mad Men.

10. What is your favorite song at the moment? What is your favorite song ever? "Shut up and put your money where your mouth is/that's what you get for waking up in Vegas," by Katy Perry, is my current favorite. I suppose my all-time favorite is All My Loving by the Beatles. I know this wasn't the first song they sang on The Ed Sullivan Show, but it's the first one that made an impact on me, and I fell everlastingly in love.

11. What is your favorite niche TV channel to watch? The news channels

12. If you could have any career, what would it be and why? I'd love to be a historian like Doris Kearns Goodwin. She gets years to write her books, enjoys almost unlimited access to historical papers, gets paid boatloads of cash and ends up on the bestseller lists. Doris, you are my hero!

13. What is your favorite outfit? Comfy jeans, a t-shirt from a favorite vacation destination, and no shoes.

14. If you could tell your teenage self something, what would you say? "Your mother is wrong, these are most definitely NOT the best years of your life, and it only gets better from here."

15. What is your favorite recipe? Foodler

16. What is the funniest joke you've ever heard? A grandmother is watching her grandson playing on the beach. A huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please, God, save my only grandson. I will live a blameless life if only you return him to me. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to Heaven and says, "He had a hat."

17. What is your favorite vacation spot and why? Colonial Williamsburg, because it blends my geeky love of history with my decadent love of pampering.

18. What are you most excited about with fall here? Using up all the vacation time I have greedily hoarded this year, and enjoying nice, long weekends.

19. Did you envision yourself to be where you are today ten years ago? If not, what did you envision? I'm pretty much where I thought I'd be ... though I imagined a thinner me in a better decorated condo.

20. If money were no object, what would your dream house look like? The 40th floor of a high rise looking out onto Lake Michigan.

21. What is your all-time favorite Disney movie? Mary Poppins

22. What blog do you think isn't getting enough notice? See Question #3