Manic Monday #9

If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? That's easy: Georgia.

Where do you go for advice? Depends on the topic. Family or feline problems: my mom. Romantic troubles: my oldest friend. Everything else: my best friend.

What is the sickest you've ever been? My first migraine, about a year and a half ago. It hit me so hard, and made me so ill, that I had to curl up in a little ball on the floor of the fitting room at Carson, Pirie, Scott for a while. Got home and just collapsed into bed. I would have been frightened if I wasn't so nauseous, motion-sensitive and just plain miserable. Thank God for Relpax -- better living through pharmaceuticals! One little pill and the agony is vanquished.

To participate in Manic Monday on your own, or to read more answers, visit the official site.

In just two months …

… I will be relaxing in this French Country Suite at the Chateau Elan in Atlanta. I'm treating myself to two solid days of solitude and pampering. Manicure, pedicure, massages, hydrotherapy, facial and makeover.

Last year, I only had one full day of spa treatments and it wasn't enough. However, I'm trying (really trying!) to be sensible with money since things are still kinda tenuous at work. So I made a deal with myself: if I could pay for the airline ticket with miles, I could have the second day. Eureka! I did it.

You like me, you really like me!

That's my tribute to award shows, which are in jeopardy this season because of the writers' strike. It's also my way of celebrating the award I just received from Harlekwin. She rates this blog as "E for Excellent," and coming from her this is very, very neat. For Harlekwin's blog is one of the more eclectic, entertaining and excellent I've found. If you haven't checked her out, by all means do!

And thanks, Harlekwin, for thinking of me for this award.

Peggy Noonan annoys me

She's not hateful, like Ann Coulter. She's not alternately silly or cruel in the guise of "humor," like Rush Limbaugh. She's not ridiculously self-aggrandizing, like Bill O'Reilly. But still, Peggy Noonan annoys me.

I think it's because I want to learn from listening to her. Yes, she conservative to the core, but when presented in a coherent, clear way, I can learn how and why the other side feels the way it does. I've learned a great deal from paying attention to Joe Scarborough and Bill Kristol. For I don't like believing that conservatives are simply ugly and wrong, though with the Coulters and Limbaughs and O'Reillys on the air, it's easy to make that assumption.

Because Peggy Noonan is a woman of a certain age, a woman who is elegant (and avoids the Ann Coulter traps of playing with her mane or showing up for the Today Show wearing a black cocktail dress), and astonishingly well spoken, I want to listen to her and follow her logic.

Yet every time I see her, Peggy Noonan annoys me.

It's because she's so damn pedantic. She speaks sooo slowly and uses her hands so pretentiously when she makes her points. It's clear that if we are getting our news from the outlet that gives her a platform (instead, I'm guessing, from her Wall Street Journal), we are sad, benighted little creatures. We need Miss Margaret to explain it all to us. So she speaks slowly, to make sure we "get" the wisdom she is good enough to share with us.

I imagine that immediately after appearing on network TV, she collapses gracefully upon a chaise lounge in the Green Room and calls out for a damp cloth to place upon her forehead. It's sooo exhausting to try to communicate with us tiny brains!

This magic moment

I'm watching The Godfather for the umpzillionth time and during this particular viewing, I am struck by James Caan as Sonny. He is sexy and tough and confident and charismatic. It is by far his best role. He was never this good before, and certainly hasn't been this good since.

Naturally I appreciated him in Brian's Song. But there was no sex appeal or danger in his performance as doomed Chicago Bear Brian Piccolo (nor should there have been). But I never found him likable again. Not even in the movies I've seen almost as often as The Godfather and Brian's Song (those would be Misery and Elf).

I wonder how it feels to be James Caan and to see himself in The Godfather. Is it comforting to be reminded of his prime? Or does he long for days gone by?

Makes me glad that my life has not been captured on film.

Now I know why no one likes Mitt Romney

It's been said that all the Republican Presidential nominees are actually grudgingly fond of one another -- except for Mitt Romney. They all supposedly hate him. This made me feel sorry for Mitt, because if there's anything in this life I hate, it's bullies. I didn't like the idea of all the candidates ganging up on one.

Then I found out Mitt Romney is a bully himself. And, by my lights, the worst kind. I believe anyone who mistreats a child or an animal is the lowest form of human life. For pets and kids have no power -- they're like corks on the water, going where the waves (or adults) take them. Shame on anyone who would ever mistreat someone smaller and more powerless. I hate that!

Which leads us to ol' Mitt, and a story that's been covered by both The Boston Globe and Time magazine …

While driving his family from Boston to Ontario (a 12 hour drive), Romney put Seamus, the family's setter, in a dog carrier and then attached it to the roof rack. Once they hit the highway, Romney's sons reported a brown liquid running down the back window. Seamus literally had the shit scared out of him. How did Romney react to Seamus' discomfort? He stopped the station wagon, hosed down both dog and car, strapped the poor canine back on the roof rack and kept going.

I'm so disgusted I have nothing more to say on the subject. And for those of you who read this blog regularly, you know that's a rare occurrence.

PS Thanks to Mo for bringing this to my attention in the first place. And yes, that really is Seamus, allowing kittens to use him as a jungle gym. The photo was provided to the Boston Globe by Romney's sister Jane. Seamus looks like he was quite a guy, doesn't he?

I'm in love with him, and he feels fine

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Paul McCartney has reassured his fans that he feels fine and has no medical problems, despite recent reports to the contrary.

In a message posted on his Web site Thursday, the former Beatle said he was puzzled when people started asking him about his health. Then he realized their questions stemmed from a report this month that he had undergone a heart operation.

Sir Paul, 65, said the story was "entirely untrue" and that he was fine. "What happened was, over a year ago during a routine medical examination, there was a minor irregularity which I needed to have tests for and which I have now been assured is completely fine," McCartney said. "The media have only just recently reported an exaggerated version of this."

He added: "I'm happy to say that I feel great and I have passed my most recent medical with flying colors."

Sometimes I think the worst thing about being 50 is that it makes him 65. I simply hate this conversation.

Funny, it doesn't look like the Amityville Horror

My best friend's house, that is. He moved in a year ago. This isn't it, exactly. It's an example of the new homes being built in his neighborhood. Before someone from realtor.com sues me, let me state right here that I'm sure these are all comfortable, beautiful, completely livable homes … if you want and can afford them.

He can do neither.

He and his wife have two daughters and two dogs. A year ago, they moved into a 5BR/5BA home similar to this one. With separate living/sitting rooms, a completed basement that's now a playroom for the girls, and a den with a fireplace that's now his office. The kitchen is state of the art, with a huge marble bay in the middle. They can either dine in there, or in the formal dining room (which I believe also has a fireplace; I know there's another one in there somewhere).

This downpayment for this showplace came from the proceeds of the sale of their old home, and a "generous" birthday gift to his wife from her father. I don't remember who it was, but a wise man once said, "If you take their money, you gotta take their shit." My best friend is learning this all too well.

His wife is sooo happy with their new home. She's never lived in a brand-new home before and she's pleased and proud of what she's doing with both the house and the yard.

My best friend is miserable. He hates his job, and even more, he's hit the wall when it comes to his whole career choice. He just doesn't want to do it anymore.

But guess what! With two kids looking at college and this mortgage payment staring him in the face, he's handcuffed. Ironically, now that he's in his 40s and dreams of doing something else with his life, he can't afford to.

That's why I think of this beautiful, comfortable, completely livable home as The Amityville Horror.

I advise him not to dwell on what he's doing 9-to-5 (or rather 8-to-7), but instead think of everything it affords him. This house … a week in London this spring …  I don't mean it, of course. I want him to chuck it all, walk away from marketing and follow his heart. But I'm alone. I make decisions completely for myself. I don't have to worry about my spouse finally having her dream, or paying for college for two kids.

It's his decision, and he's made it. I support him as best I can. I just wish he was happy.

Friday's Feast #30

Appetizer
What is your favorite beverage? Coca Cola Classic. I accept no substitutes.

Soup
Name 3 things that are on your computer desk at home or work. Photo of me and my best friend at a company softball game, a decal that says: "I will not obsess, I will not obsess, I will not obsess," my pencil cup filled with my beloved sharp pencils with good, sturdy erasers.

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how honest do you think you are? 7.5. I have no trouble lying by omission to save someone's feelings; on the other hand, I unintentionally blurt a lot of truths which really don't need sharing.

Main Course
If you could change the name of one city in the world, what would you rename it and why? Truth or Consequences, NM. I mean, really!

Dessert
What stresses you out? What calms you down? Not having control of my situation freaks me out completely! Watching my cats calms me down. (Right now, Reynaldo is trying to retrieve the bread bag tie he dropped in my boot. Too cute!)

To whip or your feast, or to find out more about this meme, visit Fridaysfeast.com.

I can't help it. I loved it!

It was sublime: OJ Simpson, sitting there in court wearing a government-issued jumpsuit, meekly submitting to a tongue lashing by a woman. Tee-hee.

“I don’t know, Mr. Simpson, what the heck you were thinking, or maybe that’s the problem — you weren’t,” Judge Jackie Glass said. "I don't know if it's just arrogance. I don't know if it's ignorance. But you've been locked up at the Clark County Detention Center since Friday because of arrogance or ignorance — or both."

She had power over him so he had to take it. And I loved it, loved it, loved it.

Look what I got from Misty!

Misty Dawn sees the humor in her life, so I'm proud that the award she gave me features the ultimate funny girls. She says my blog is one of those that cheers her up. Thank you, Miss Misty. And give those gorgeous dogs of yours a hug for me.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #50 -- Meet author Patricia Cornwell's most famous creation

THIRTEEN THINGS ABOUT

KAY SCARPETTA

I’m reading the latest Patricia Cornwell book, Book of the Dead. It’s another compelling, brutal tale that revolves around the life of Medical Examiner Kay Scarpetta. While I don’t always enjoy these books – they are grisly and the quality varies wildly – I always like spending time with Scarpetta. I like and even admire her. She’s honest, brilliant, hardworking and kind. She may well be one of my favorite imaginary people.

Here are 13 facts about the old girl, culled from my own recollection of the books and from the fansites on the internet. (I was surprised to discover that a fictional coroner even had fansites, but I’m grateful because they were invaluable to this TT.)

1. Kay was introduced in the book Postmortem in 1990. She has starred in 15 Patricia Cornwell novels to date.

2. She was born in (approx.) 1949 in Miami, Florida. Her father succumbed to leukemia when she was about 13. His slow, sad death had a tremendous impact on her.

3. She has blue eyes and ash blonde hair, and wears a size 10 blouse and an 8 skirt. She likes to wear matching suits in dark colors.

4. She is licensed as both a doctor and a lawyer, with degrees from Cornell, Johns Hopkins and Georgetown. Since her family was not wealthy – and suffered financially after her father’s death – Kay either paid for all this education herself or qualified for grants and scholarships. I admire the tenacity and toughness this would have required.

5. Her car of choice is a Mercedes. She leases but doesn’t buy them.

6. Tony Benedetti was her only husband. They were married for 5 or 6 years and divorced before we even met Kay in Postmortem.

7. Kay is a terrific cook and makes many of her dishes completely from scratch – including the pasta. I love the juxtaposition – how easily and comfortably Kay moves between solving more than 100 murders and carefully rolling out dough in her custom-designed kitchen. Kay’s time in the kitchen has been such a big part of this series that Cornwell published a cookbook: Food to Die for: Secrets from Scarpetta’s Kitchen.

8. Kay loves good liquor – especially wine and scotch – and enjoys matching the perfect beverages with her meals. It’s part of her attention to detail, and illustrates her regard for her friends and guests. Kay is always gracious – no matter how harrowing the circumstances. (I do wish she had more of a sense of humor, though. Kay never seems to have many laughs.)

7. She used to be a heavy smoker. But she kicked the habit, and cut back on her coffee consumption, in 1993. She now seems to prefer decaf and tea.

8. She’s been a loving and dedicated surrogate mother to her niece, Lucy. Kay’s icky sister Dorothy is a much-married, highly successful children’s book author who ironically had no time for motherhood. Kay stepped into the breach and cared for the brilliant, turbulent Lucy. A former FBI agent and computer wizard, Lucy is a software mogul who made her first million before age 25. Lucy is a lesbian who has a hard time maintaining close relationships. (There’s ALWAYS chaos surrounding poor Lucy. I yearn to someday read a Scarpetta book where Lucy’s worst problem is a bad hair day.)

9. Poor Pete Marino has been in love with Kay from the start. A good and dedicated cop, he met Kay when he was a detective and she was the ME. Big, balding and divorced from his wife, Doris, Pete is a man of simple tastes (beer, cigarettes, motorcycles and fishing). Though he and Kay work brilliantly together, and she cares about and for him, there can never be romance between them and it is slowly breaking his heart.

10. Benton Wesley is her great love. He’s a handsome, patrician FBI profiler who has worked many cases with Kay. He is her match, her soulmate, in ways Marino never could be. I don’t especially like Benton and believe Kay could do better. He was married when he and Kay fell in love. That’s not the issue; it happens and I don’t judge. But the way Benton has completely walked away from his family (I know he has 3 children, at least 1 daughter) to be with Kay bothers me. I’m surprised it doesn’t bother Kay more, too, since she is so careful and loving with her niece and close friends. I had expected her to try very hard to establish a relationship with Benton’s children.

11. She is very tender with those she autopsies. I know that sounds weird, but it’s one of the things I like best about her. She doesn’t view what she does to the bodies in her morgue as cutting them up. Instead, she considers it “listening.” She wants to give them every opportunity to explain … to tell her through skin and bones and blood and tissue, what happened and how they ended up with her, and she is passionately concerned with getting them justice.

12. She loves to garden. While I don’t believe she’s ever owned a pet, she is very attached to the squirrels and birds who share her yard. I find it touching that she takes such pleasure in nature and life when she is surrounded by death and the unnatural all day. I really like that about my imaginary friend, Kay.

13. Her loyal secretary, Rose, has followed her everywhere. When Kay left Richmond for Florida, Rose went, too. When Kay left Florida for Charleston, so did Rose. Kay is very lucky to have Rose – a gray-haired, proper woman with impeccable manners who has managed over time to become as much a part of Scarpetta’s “family” as Lucy and Marino.

GAL’S SPECIAL NOTE TO SCARPETTA VIRGINS: If you’re ready to dive into the Scarpetta books, PLEASE read them in order. First of all, because if you don’t, some of the plot twists in later books will simply confound you. Also because, objectively speaking, the earlier books are the best. If you start with the more recent ones (especially Blow Fly – which I hated), you may be so disheartened and disgusted that you won’t want to stay with the series.

If you leave your link in the comments, I'll add you here:

1. Mama Pajama has a melodic TT
2. SusieJ has a thoughtful TT about attention problems
3. Sandee has a riotous reading list
4. Greatfullivin has a thought provoking shopping list
5. Rhonda shares her unique writing process
6. Nicholas has another book TT, as only Nicholas can!
7. Nap Warden has had a very varied career
8. Sandy Carlson bids us "farewell" beautifully
9. Malcolm has a charming TT about his favorite TV show openings
10. Ellen B. takes us on a gorgeous trip out west
11. Mama Geek exhaustively answers 13 questions
12. Susan Helene Gottfried takes us back to Yellowstone
13. Cricket's Hearth has some "disappointing" suggestions for AI

14. Open Grove Claudia encourages us to start a revolution

15. She's a Writer takes a closer look at AI

16. Janet has an inspiring "to do" list for 2008

17. SJR The Pink Flamingo is throwing one helluva dinner party!

18. Deanna's charming TT includes ads from the 1950s

19. Wolfie examines the bald eagle

20. Mo tempts us with a sinful but yummy TT

21. Secret Agent Mama highlights elephants

22. Aline's TT is about her predictions for the week

23. Feefifoto takes us shopping online

24. Candyminx takes us from movies to TV and back
25. Holly shares 13 of her favorite things
26. Emeraldcity Guy has lost some things, but can't find them in his garage
27. Misty Dawn has some stuff on her mind

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Hitting the wall

We've all done it. On a day when you have put out fire after fire, alternately fought and cajoled coworkers, and wondered what the hell you keep doing it for. Slam! You hit the wall.

You ask yourself: Is it worth it? Isn't there something better I could do with my life? Something that would make me happier? Isn't there an environment where my efforts would be more noticed and better appreciated?

My best friend hit the wall this week. He's been in the same job now for a year and a half (and the same industry for more than 15 years) and is currently wondering, "what the hell…?" He's having one of those weeks when everything and everyone seems to be conspiring to simply exhaust him.

Like most of us, he's good at this job and usually he likes it. But he's simply hit wall. I keep trying to remind him that after a nice, long MLK weekend, he probably won't feel this disheartened and depleted. I'm not sure he hears me, though. Just as little gets through to me immediately after I hit the wall.

So much for demographics

Professionally, I live by good demographic data. I'm in advertising, and it's my job to try to convince you to buy … buy … buy! The more I know about you, the more carefully I can target my message. The more relevant the message is to you, the more likely you are to buy. So I count on the demographics to tell me who you are, how old you are, where you live, where you shop, etc.

My best friend is in the biz, too. He also knows how serious and important the numbers are.

Which is why the demographic profiles of "typical" Clinton and Obama supporters are so amusing. For while it might be spot-on for the rest of the country, it's got my best friend and me all wrong.

The typical Clinton supporter: older, less educated, female, most distressed by the economy, most comfortable retail environment is WAL-MART.

The typical Obama supporter: younger, college educated, male, most distressed by the war, most comfortable retail environment is Starbuck's.

Yet I (the community-college dropout, the 50-year-old woman, the one who avoids WAL-MART but doesn't flinch at the thought of Sears) is leaning toward Obama.

He (the college grad, the certified financial planner, the younger man, the one who has a Starbuck's cup epoxied to his hand) is leaning toward Clinton.

Once again I am reminded by the words of my favorite author, William Goldman: "Nobody knows anything."

Heads & Tails #13

Today's theme is the Letter C. Here is a list of my favorite things that begin with C, presented in the order they occurred to me.

Coca-Cola Classic

Cats, especially my own finicky feline, Charlotte

Calendars (the one in my kitchen is from the IFAW, the one in my office is a souvenir from my vacation in Key West)

Cold weather suits me far better than hot

Chocolate, of course

Cocktails, especially those made with vodka

Computers, especially my new MacBook

Cellphones, because my best friend is almost surgically attached to his and it makes him easier to reach

Coupons, because saving money makes me feel like I've accomplished something

For more information, or to play along yourself (and see a timeless clip of Johnny Carson), visit mememistress Skittles.

Manic Monday #8

Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were the opposite sex? For the most part, I think men have it easier because historically they have had more power. Men have been responsible for most of the law making and law breaking in our society. Of course, they historically have had more stress and tend to die younger, so maybe it evens out. And yes, when I see how short the mens' room lines are at sporting events, I have wished I was male.

What books from your childhood would you like to share with your children? Charlotte's Web. Charlotte inspired me to work to become a good writer and a true friend. I owe that spider a great deal and would love to share her message.

What is one talent or skill you don't possess but always wanted? I can't sing for shit. Completely tone deaf. In my dreams I sound like Streisand. No one has been rude enough to tell me what I sound like during waking hours.

 For more information, or to play along yourself, visit the one, true Manic Monday site.

On my mind …

It's been a big weekend, with seismic shifts in the lives of those close to me.

1) Saturday afternoon, my brother-in-law was laid off again for the second time in six months. His boss was counting on a big job beginning next week, but at the last minute the contract fell through. My poor BIL only had this job for 90 days, and he was very happy with it -- even though it didn't pay very much. Financially, things are getting dire in that household. I worry about the impact their money problems will have on their parenting skills. Their oldest -- my niece, a high school freshman -- has been having big problems of late.

2) My uncle, who is dying slowly from Parkinson's disease, has taken a radical turn for the worse. For the past year he has remained in his own home with live-in help -- a lovely pair of middle-aged sisters he met through his church. They take turns staying with him and helping him out. But he needs more assistance than they can give. He needs around-the-clock nursing care from trained professionals. Which he refuses to even discuss. His behavior has become dangerous and erratic. Since much of it is in response to his meds, he doesn't even recall many of the more harrowing incidents. He is very wealthy and can fight any moves toward hospitalization or a nursing home. Yet I worry because he's a danger to himself and others.

3) There were layoffs at work. I expected them, and certainly one of the 5 people involved had it coming for his role in the way the account was mismanaged, and consequently how close we have all come to losing our jobs. Still, whenever anything like this happens there's upheaval and heightened sensitivity on the team.

4) I can't stop thinking about my own personal Brad and Jen.

5) I have an unsightly and painful zit in my eyebrow.

I have to remember that #5 is really the only one within my control, and beyond putting zit cream on it, there really isn't even very much I can do about that one.

That's hard for me to accept, since I like to arrange and fix things. But it's so easy for me to be swallowed up by problems like these, and that serves no one. I need to keep my wits around me, in case my mother or my niece or "Brad" need me.

So now, if you'll excuse me, I have to slather acne cream in my eyebrow.

My Saturday Night Dream Date

He has everything I could want in a man:
• a timeless smirk
• an intimidating sneer
• a healthy disrespect for authority
• a prodigious way with words
• inexhaustible courage
• great arms
• Samuel L. Jackson as his wing man

Yes, I'm watching Die Hard with a Vengeance, and I remain deeply in love with John McClane.

It's been a hectic and not altogether pleasant Saturday. I simply don't feel like dealing with reality right now. I much prefer dealing with him.

Two months! It was only gorgeous for two months!

Got in this evening to find the right cushions of my lovely new sofa covered in kitty puke and a hairball. I want to cry.

I only had it two months before Charlotte (and yes, I know it was her) deposited the contents of her stomach all over it. I sprayed it with Woolite Upholstery Foam and am hoping that does the trick. I want to cry.

Charlotte, on the other hand, seems very comfortable and pleased with herself. Naturally. After all, she divested herself of an annoying hairball.

But they were never supposed to break up!

No, this post isn't going to be about Brad and Jen. But instead about my personal Brad and Jen, the couple I thought would never split … until this week when they did.

They met, got married and had two babies -- all in the space of four years. It happened fast, but he assured me that's how it happens when it's right. He was so proud of her accomplishments. When her work got mentioned in the newspaper or a professional journal, he never failed to show it to me. They were dedicated parents -- working from home rather than staying late so they could spend time with their adorable little ones.

They were my heroes. Love, passion, mutual respect and common goals for their kids … all this and heaven, too!

Beginning in the fall, I stopped hearing from him as often as I used to. I shot him emails regarding the Mitchell Report (baseball is one of the things we bonded over) and they went unanswered. One thing about my friend -- he LOVES educating me about stuff I don't know! No Christmas card, either. Huh? He and his wife enjoy sending photos of their little urchins.

Then, yesterday, he told me the news. On Thanksgiving she told him it just wasn't working for her anymore and she wanted him to move out this week. I can understand them not wanting to spoil Christmas for their kids -- especially their son, who is almost 4 now and probably quite into Santa. But what's the significance of this week? Elvis' birthday?

Anyway, they're SEPARATED! He told me that, while their problems aren't "juicy," she'd been unhappy throughout 2007 and he thought they could "work on it." Apparently not. He's now living with his brother.

I'm almost sick to my stomach.

I have relationship issues the size of all outdoors. I either expect too much or too little. I either give too much or too little. I'm too fiercely independent and have trouble pulling in double harness. I have been involved with lovely men over time and have sabotaged those relationships. I sadly accept responsibility for all that.

But I love love and I love happy endings. I had counted on this couple to verify my faith. And now look at them.

I wonder if, when they discussed how this would effect the kids, they limited their conversation to their two preschoolers, too, or if they included this old gal, too.

An endorsement that makes a difference

Now I'm going to take a closer look at the junior Senator from my state. After all, John Kerry was right about (among other things) Viet Nam War and veterans' rights, the death penalty and making the court system more open and fairer to female victims of rape and domestic violence.

Senator Kerry has served his country honorably as solider, anti-war activist, DA and Senator. He's been on the right side of every issue that has been important to me. If Barack Obama is good enough for John Kerry, he certainly deserves greater consideration from me.

Friday's Feast #29

Appetizer. What is your middle name? Would you change any of your names if you could? If so, what would you like to be called? My middle name is Ann. I like it well enough, and can't think of a middle name I'd prefer. I do hate my last name, which is (part of) why I'd love to change it to Lady McCartney.

Soup. If you were a fashion designer, which fabrics, colors, and styles would you probably use the most? Neat question! I'd use a lot of blues and purples, and everything would be tailored. As Stacy and Clinton (WNTW) have taught me, it's important to have a defined waist.

Salad. What is your least favorite chore, and why? Laundry! It takes too long and it takes me down to the building laundry room. I hate it down there because I find myself having to chat with neighbors whose names I can never recall.

Main Course. What is something that really frightens you, and can you trace it back to an event in your life? Flying. No, there's no particular incident that triggered it. I'm just horrified by air travel.

Dessert. Where are you sitting right now? Name 3 things you can see at this moment. My new (OK, it's 2 months old now) sofa. I can see my faithful tomcat, Joey, and my wallet and my white boots (they're UGGS knock offs).

For more information, or to whip up your own feast, visit Friday's Feast.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #49 -- Remembering the original songbird/trainwreck

THIRTEEN THINGS 

ABOUT JUDY GARLAND

Following the Britney Spears saga, I have had an overwhelming sense of deja sad because this reminds me so much of Judy Garland. Born Frances Gumm, Garland died at the tender age of 47 -- tiny and frail and looking 20 years older after decades of divorces, drinking, drugging, smoking and suicide attempts.

Like Britney, she was a child star. Like Britney, she was a tabloid target. Like Britney, she was such a powerful cash cow that no one was willing or able to tell her no as she self destructed.

But one thing Garland had that Britney doesn’t is authentic, overwhelming and ferocious talent. No less an expert on these things than Katharine Hepburn called Garland one of the most gifted indivdiuals she ever met. Judy was Dorothy and she took us “Over the Rainbow.” Kids not even born yet will journey to Oz with her. But there was much more to her career than that …

1. She was a major star in MGM’s Golden Era. She made more than 25 films for the studio in just 14 years. She was still in her 20s when they fired her after too many sick days, late days, days when she wouldn’t/couldn’t leave her dressing room at all. After all, it’s called show BUSINESS, and Garland no longer had a good ROI. This is where she was when she was Britney’s age. 

2. In her MGM heyday, she was awarded a special Oscar. Unlike Haley Joel Osment and Abigail Breslin, among others, child stars in those days simply weren’t nominated for “competitive” Academy Awards. Instead they were given mini Oscars. Garland received hers in 1940 for her “Mickey-Judy” musicals and for the immortal Wizard of Oz.

3. Those teen musicals are still fun to watch today. Directed by Busby Berkeley, the big production numbers are amazing. Garland is unfailingly sincere, even spouting ridiculous dialog like, “Hi! I’m Betsey Booth. I sing!”

4. She put her indelible mark on classic songs in those silly movies. I Cried for You, I’m Nobody’s Baby, How About You, and But Not for Me. Once Judy sang these songs in her strong yet tremulous voice, they should have just been retired.

5. Her version of You Made Me Love You was initially an MGM novelty song. In Broadway Melody of 1938, a teen Judy sings this to a photo of MGM’s greatest star as she pens him a fan letter. It begins, “Dear Mr. Gable, I am writing this to you …” She sings with such aching sincerity, it could have been me warbling to Bobby Sherman or David Cassidy.

6. She worked with Vincente Minnelli on Meet Me in St. Louis. Together they created famous musical numbers like The Trolley Song and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. They later married and yes, created Liza.

7. She helped launch Gene Kelley’s film career. He was a critically acclaimed Broadway performer, and Judy lobbied for him to be her costar love interest in his film debut: For Me and My Gal.

8. They also appeared together in my favorite Garland film, Summer Stock. It’s kinda dopey , actually. A Mickey-Judy/”Let’s do the show right here” musical with an adult cast. But it’s got Judy encouraging us with If You Feel Like Singing, Sing! and the unforgettable Get Happy! Love her in that fedora.

9. The backstory makes that number even more interesting. Throughout the movie, Judy is … well … fat. It works for the story because she’s cast as the diligent sister who works the family farm and supports the glamorous, frivolous sister with show biz aspirations. Suddenly, in the iconic Get Happy! number, she’s sleek and svelte. Then, for the remainder of the film, she’s heavy again. As the story goes, after the film was shot, Garland was hospitalized for a time (there were definitely pills, most certainly booze and perhaps a suicide attempt involved) and during her convalescence she lost a ton of weight. While she was trying to get well and clean, MGM was editing Summer Stock and decided it needed another big number. So when Judy left the hospital, she was summoned back to the set to shoot Get Happy! It was the last number she successfully completed at the old Dream Factory.

10. After she left MGM, she began performing on stage. She needed money. She had fame, but no job. Instead of doing plays, she developed a one-woman musical show. It’s still available today as a 2-CD set, “Judy at Carnegie Hall.” If you’re curious to hear what all the fuss is about, take a listen.

11. Then there’s A Star Is Born. She acts, really acts, in this one. “Hi, everybody. This is Mrs. Norman Maine.” Gulp. Oh yeah, she sings, too. Most notably Swanee and The Man that Got Away. She was nominated for an Oscar for this performance. Groucho Marx referred to her loss that year as “the greatest robbery since Brink’s.”

12. Judgment at Nuremberg. Another Oscar nomination for her heart-wrenching courtroom scene. (NO! There’s no singing! This is Judgment at Nuremberg, not Springtime for Hitler!)

13. Her variety show on CBS featured some amazing duets. It didn’t last very long because the network couldn’t sustain high production costs (due to their star’s late days, sick days, etc.) and middling ratings. But the series gave us Judy singing with Liza, Peggy Lee, Lena Horne and best of all, an unbelievably young Streisand. Their duet of Happy Days Are Here Again and Get Happy! still leaves me with goosebumps. Streisand, barely out of her teens and at the beginning of her career, looks stronger and more self possessed than Judy, who keeps touching Babs' arm as they sing. The veteran looks like she's getting support from the rookie. Watching this, you're not surprised that Streisand is the one who never went to rehab, or was multi-married, or went bankrupt. 

Ok, so I left out most of the really lurid stuff. If you want to read about the sex and the drugs, there are plenty of biographies out there. Some are harrowing, some are really juicy, and all are entertaining. Even when Garland was at her worst, she was imaginative , funny and rather brave, so her life has attracted successful biographers like Gerald Frank and Anne Edwards. But her chaotic and self-destructive personal life can’t overwhelm her sumptuous body of work.

Put your link in comments and I'll mention you here:

1) Pjazzypar takes us to Hitsville USA

2) Don't Make Me Get Out the Flying Monkeys serves up chicken dishes

3) Chelle Y gives us a tour of her desktop

4) Sandy Carlson teaches Origami 101

5) Ellen B. has a volcanic TT

6) Lori has a TT your kids don't want you to read!

7) Morgan confesses that her kids are spoiled

8) Nicholas takes us from the bookshelves to the movie theater

9) Malcolm quotes Laker-lovin' Jack Nicholson

10) Open Grove Claudia gives us 13 rules for living

11) Susan Helene Gottfried takes us to Yellowstone

12) SJ Reidhead entertains us with a historical, western TT

13) Lazy Daisy and I have the same favorite color

14) Candy has a feisty TT

15) Damozel has a pictorial TT. 

16) Journeywoman shares her joy in her faith

17) Nicole Austin has an insightful TT about men and love and we womenfolk

18) Zenmomma encourages us to reconnect with our communities

19) Gabriella takes us down memory lane

20) Deanna shares the contents of a literary treasure chest with us

21) Patti composed her TT around the letter B

22) Tickled Pink has a green TT

23) Natalie is in love … with her new car, and here's why

24) Harlekwin puts the adult world on notice

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Keep it to yourself

"They all stink."

"It's like choosing between the lesser of two evils."

"They're all as honest as used car salesmen."

"What difference does it make anyway?"

"I'm too busy to pay attention."

I've heard all of the above from people aged 45+ regarding Presidential politics. I wonder if these cynical and lazy citizens feel at all responsible for the casualties in Iraq, waterboarding, Blackwater, the heartbreak and shame of Katrina, and the mess that became of the US Attorney General's office. For it's their laziness and cynicism that helped re-elect George W. Bush.

I'd like to think that this is the legacy of Richard Nixon. That the abuses of Watergate so scarred us that we don't have faith in the system anymore. But that's too easy. By the time you're 45 or older, you really have to take responsibility for your own actions and attitudes.

One of the most exciting things about this Presidential election -- on both the Republican and Democratic sides -- is how involved young people have become: Barack Obama is drawing rockstar crowds of people 30 and under; Ron Paul is raising amazing sums of money, courtesy of his merry band of young internet experts. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert enjoy a predominantly college-aged demographic. This new generation seems to get it in a way their parents don't.

If their parents' generation can't share their joy, enthusiasm, excitement and involvement, I hope they can at least shut up and not rain on their parade.

Of course, I'm the kind of corny patriot who gets choked up at the National Anthem before a baseball game. (Which is why the doping scandal upsets me, too, but I'm going to stop now …before my brain blows up.)

Behold the winner of the NH Primary

Everyone wrote her off. Everyone was wrong. In the words of my favorite author, William Goldman, "Nobody knows anything."

Since I am gloriously comfortable with all three of the top tier Democratic candidates, I am glad she did as well as she did so that the nominating process continues, and all three of their voices will be heard as Democrats decide which one best represents the party.

Gone, baby, gone

The Gay House is gone! Demolished! It makes me very sad.

The Gay House was a building I saw every day, twice a day, because it's across from the el tracks. The first floor was a trio of small, affordable offices. No one ever stayed there very long, and I enjoyed checking out who was currently renting space. Sometimes it was local political candidates. At tax time there was frequently an accountant. You get the idea.

Upstairs was an apartment with the most beautiful rooftop garden. I called it The Gay House because in addition to a grill and plastic Adirondack chairs, all year around there was a gay pride rainbow flag on the porch. I loved watching it change from season to season.

Between yesterday and today, it's gone! The three offices, the apartment, the grill, the chairs and the gay pride flag. I feel like I've lost something.

Manic Monday #7

What was the last thing you regret buying?

A Visa giftcard as "thank you" gift for my friends in the Keys. It cost $3.95 to activate! Then, right after I bought it, I found the perfect, more personal gift. So I'm using it myself. (But the $3.95 really annoys me.)

If you had a crystal ball that could tell you the truth about any one thing you wished to know about yourself, life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Do I only get one thing? What I'd ask for depends on my mood. 1) Will I be laid off in 2008? 2) What's going on with my best friend? Is he really happy? 3) What's going on with my niece? Is she really happy?

How do you know when you're in love?

When he's the first thing I think of in the morning, even before my feet hit the floor.

For more information about Manic Monday, or to play along yourself, click here.

Unconscious Mutterings #22

I say ... and you think ... ?

Mist :: Arbor Mist
Eating :: Too much
Beacon :: The name of my church's monthly newsletter
Speaker :: Nancy Pelosi
Episodes :: TV show
Conference :: Conference calls
Sneak attack :: Startle! (I hate being startled)
Medic :: Corpsman 
Web :: Charlotte
2008 :: Calendar

For more information, or to mutter yourself, visit Unconscious Mutterings.

Please, oh please, don't toy with me!

Poor Roger Clemens just retired (again) on 60 Minutes. He feels really bad that he's been accused of doping. The millionaire resents that he may have to sue -- and spend money -- to clear his name. He actually made a contemptuous little gesture of counting bills as he discussed this.

The damage that his grasping, money grubbing, me-me-me attitude, as well as his alleged steroid use, has done to the national pasttime doesn't seem to bother him. But poor Roger feels really bad that he's been accused and has to defend himself.

Let's hope that he's actually sincere (an odd word to use when discussing Clemens) this time and does us all a favor by staying retired. 

By the way, my beloved, future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux won 7 of his last 10 starts in 2007 and will return this spring as the 9th winningest pitcher in the history of the game. Among active pitchers, he's second only to Roger Clemens. Only there has never been a breath of scandal about The Professor. He's still Luke Skywalker to Clemens' Darth Vadar. 

Survey Says …

Here's a long one, ideal for distracting me from bill paying.

THE RULES

Copy the whole list into your blog.
Bold the things that are true about you.
Add something that is true about you.
Optional: Add a comment after answer in italics

1.I miss somebody right now. My best friend
2.I don’t watch much TV these days.
3.I love olives
4.I own lots of books.
5.I wear glasses or contact lenses. Sometimes both
6.I love to play video games.
7.I’ve tried marijuana.
8.I’ve watched porn movies. I prefer to think of it as "erotica"
9.I have been in a threesome.
10.I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
11.I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
12.I curse sometimes. Actually, I curse almost constantly
13.I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
14.I have a hobby. I do believe you're looking at it
15.I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
16.I’m TOTALLY smart.
17.I’ve never broken someone’s bones.
18.I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
19.I hate the rain.
20.I’m paranoid at times.
21.I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
22.I need money right now. I always need money.
23.I love sushi. 
24.I talk really, really fast.
25.I have fresh breath in the morning.
26.I have long hair.
27.I have lost money in Las Vegas.
28.I have at least one brother and/or one sister.
29.I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
30.I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis. 
31.I have a twin (or a triplet, or somesuch).
32.I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. But only if Halloween counts
33.I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
34.I like the way that I look.
35.I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
36.I know how to cornrow.
37.I am usually pessimistic.
38.I have a lot of mood swings.
39.I think prostitution should be legalized.
40.I think Britney Spears is pretty. Pretty and pretty sad 
41.Slept with a Suitemate. 
42.I have a hidden talent.  I can wiggle my ears
43.I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
44.I have a lot of friends.
45.I am currently single.
46.I have pecked someone of the same sex. 
47.I enjoy talking on the phone.
48.I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
49.I love to shop.
50.I would rather shop than eat.
51.I would classify myself as ghetto.
52.I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
53.I’m obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
54.I don’t hate anyone.
55.I’m a pretty good dancer.
56.I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
57.I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
58.I have a cell phone.
59.I believe in God.
60.I watch MTV on a daily basis.
61.I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
62.I love drama.
63.I have never been in a real relationship before.
64.I’ve rejected someone before.
65.I currently have a crush/like someone.
66.I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
67.I want to have children in the future.
68.I have changed a diaper before.
69.I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
70.I bite my nails.
71.I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
72.I’m not allergic to anything.
73.I have a lot to learn.
74.I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
75.I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday” movie.
76.I am shy around the opposite sex. 
77.I’m online 24/7, even as an away message.
78.I have at least 5 away messages saved.
79.I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
80.I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
81.I own the “South Park” movie.
82.I have avoided assignments at work school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
83.When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum.
84.I enjoy some country music.
85.I would die for my best friends.
86.I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. ewww
87.I watch soap operas whenever I can.
88.I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
89.I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
90.I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
91.I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story.”
92.Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
93.I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
94.I have dated a close friend’s ex.
95.I like surveys/memes.
96.I am happy at this moment.
97.I’m obsessed with guys.
98.I am bisexual.
99.Democrat.
100.Conservative Republican.
101.I am punk rockish.
102.I am preppy.
103.I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
104.I study for tests most of the time.
105.I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
106.I can work on a car.
107.I love my job.
108.I am comfortable with who I am right now. At this particular moment
109.I have more than just my ears pierced.
110.I walk barefoot wherever I can.
111.I have jumped off a bridge.
112.I love sea turtles.
113.I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
114.I believe in prophetic dreams.
115.I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
116.I am proficient on a musical instrument.
117.I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.
118.I hate office jobs.
119.I love sci-fi movies.
120.I’ve never been in love.
121.I think water rules.
122.I am going to college out of state.
123.I am adopted.
124.I like sausage.
125.I am a pyro.
126.I love the Red Sox.
127.I have thrown up from crying too much.
128.I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. And I've intentionally hurt people that I loved.
129.I love kisses.
130.I fall for the worst people and have been hurt every time.
131.I adore bright colors.
132.I love Dear Abby.
133.I can’t live without black eyeliner.
134.I think school is awesome.
135.I think pigtails serve a purpose.
136.I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
137.I usually like covers better than originals. 
138.I don’t like multi-textured ice cream
139.I think John Cusack is adorable.
140.I f**king hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.
141.I watch Food Network way too much.
142.I love coaching youth sports.
143.I can pick up things with my toes. Can't everyone? I guess I just discovered another hidden talent!
144.I can’t whistle.
145.I can move my tongue [sic] in waves, much like a snakes’ slither.
146.I have ridden/owned a horse.
147.I still have every journal I’ve ever written in.
148.I can’t stick to a diet.
149.I talk in my sleep.
150.I’ve often thought that I was born in the wrong century. Wrong decade, yes, but not wrong century
151.I do not like brooding men. 
152. I have constant humming in my ears.

153. I so prefer Coke to Pepsi.

If you do this, please let me know. That way I can check out your answers 

(and see what you added for #154.)

Like all the really good quizzes & memes …

… I stole this from Kwizgiver. It's known as "Privilege."

1. Father went to college No.

2. Father finished college No

3. Mother went to college No.

4. Mother finished college No.

5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor No

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers Same

7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home Definitely. My dad had many, many faults as a parent, but he was a big reader and encouraged reading.

8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home See above.

9. Were read children's books by a parent Yes. I remember my mom's voice as she read (among others) Charlotte's Web and The Black Stallion to us at bedtime.

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 Art lessons, ballet lessons, swimming lessons and riding lessons. I remain a decent swimmer but was only good at horseback riding. I'm no artist, nor a dancer, but I have always had a way with critters.

11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 See above

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively White middle class suburbanites? Yeah.

13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 No

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs I didn't attend college. No, that's not true. I went to a semester or two of community college, and I paid for it myself.

15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs See above.

16. Went to a private high school Nope. Same public school my Mom and uncle attended.

17. Went to summer camp Girl Scout daycamp every summer for years. Hated it every summer for years.

18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18 Nope.

19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels Yes. Even when visiting family, we always stayed in hotels and motels. And I still prefer that to crashing to with relatives.

20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 No. Lots of hand-me-downs. My older sister was only a year ahead of me in school, so whenever she got new clothes I could pretty much count on it being in my closet soon enough.

21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them No.

22. There was original art in your house when you were a child No. Not a priority for either of my folks.

23. You and your family lived in a single family house Yes

24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home Hard to answer this one because it was paid off, then they took out a second mortgage less than a year before I left

25. You had your own room as a child  Yes. Thank God! It was my sanctuary

26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18 No. But my sister and I had our phone with its own number in the basement.

27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course No. My poor mother had to battle to get me to take the tests at all.

28. Had your own TV in your room in high school Yes

29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college Oh, come on! 

30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 Nope. All of our family vacations started with long, painful, boring car rides.

31. Went on a cruise with your family No. And that's OK. I wonder if I wouldn't be bored on a cruise.

32. Went on more than one cruise with your family See above

33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up No. That's what Girl Scouts and school field trips were for. 

34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family Yes. Completely. My father liked us to believe we were wealthy. I guess we kinda were, but only because he cheated on his income taxes and borrowed, borrowed, borrowed. It all caught up with him shortly after I graduated from high school. Unbeknownst to him, I helped my mom out by paying the electric bill in addition to rent as soon as I got a job. It made me FUCKING CRAZY to hold my tongue when he scolded and lectured me about my responsibilities as long as I was living under "his" roof. I knew about the second mortgage and I was keeping the lights on. I'm still very quick to assume hypocrisy in authority.