Sunday Stealing

STOLEN FROM THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY PENPALS

1. Would you rather be the guest or the host? Guest. I hate having people over.
 
2. What do you like to wear when you feel fancy? Layers. I feel if I'm wearing a jacket or cardigan over a t-shirt, I'm fancy.
 
3. How often do you try something completely new? Depends on the situation. I can be adventurous when ordering in restaurants. I am resistant to change when it comes to process at work.
 
4. Do you enjoy weddings? NO! Hate, loathe, despise, and abominate them. My art director is toying with moving in with her "boyfriend" (they're both near 60 years old, so "boyfriend" kinda creeps me out) and instead of being happy for her, I honestly thought, "I hope it doesn't work out so they don't get engaged and I don't have to go to the wedding." Why can't more people run away to Vegas?

Be like them

5. Have you ever had something customized? All the time. I love giving personalized gifts.
 
6. Do you cook spontaneously or meal plan? I kinda meal plan. For example, this coming week I think I'll be having salmon. Which means I took the salmon out of the freezer and moved it to the frig to defrost.
 
7. Books you like to read over and over. I'm on something of a Nora Ephron binge these days. I just reread (and rewatched) Heartburn, her roman-a-clef about the end of her marriage to Carl Bernstein.
 
8. What are you really good at? I'm good with critters. Cats, dogs and the occasional rabbit. Critters and me, we get along.
 
9. Do you sleep with windows open or a fan on? Right now, both. Which is funny, because it's 20º outside. But I live on the top floor, and heat rises through the floorboards so it can get hot in here. I wish air conditioning rose up through the floor like heat does. It would save me a fortune each summer. Alas, it does not.
       
10. What is the easiest recipe you know? Take keys. Add mask. Go to McDonald's.
 
11. Are you comfortable starting conversation with strangers? Depends on the situation. If it's work related, yes. If it's not, no.
 
12. Do you prefer quiet, or ambient noise when you relax? Ambient noise, please. I have tinnitus, so quiet makes me crazy.
 
13. Who is your most adventurous or exciting friend? Hmmm ... We're all pretty old, or staid, or broke these days.
 
14. What do you eat when you can’t decide what to eat? A bowl of cereal.
 
15. Do you have any funny pet stories? Here's Reynaldo's selfie. I think he showed great potential.

 

A most happy moment

I admit we're not this good looking

My nephew is now an apprentice writer for a baseball website. He will be a full-time staffer after he graduates from college this spring. When he told me about the job, he thanked me for being the one who introduced him to baseball. It was a big moment for me. 

I just found one of his first articles on line. It's about US. Him and me. OK, not really. The article entertained ways MLB could grow their fanbase among a new generation of fans, and my nephew's suggestion is that the league get more involved in intramural sports. He used himself as an example, recalling how, when he was 7, his aunt explained baseball stats to him and showed him how to follow the Cubs in the Sunday paper. Then this aunt took him to his first game was he was 10. Alas, there was no place for him to indulge his enthusiasm for the sport, since his community kept promoting soccer.* Perhaps if MLB threw more money and attention to children, it would reap great rewards in terms of interest, TV ratings, and ticket sales.

I am awesomely pleased. I am reminded of how, in 1964, my favorite uncle introduced 6-year-old me to the Beatles and gave me the soundtrack to my life. I feel like I have paid that forward. I also often wonder how, as a single and childless woman, my life has mattered. I realize I had a lasting impact without really intending to.

Two sentences out of a 300 word article. It's not a lot, but it's everything.

*Auntie's note: He wasn't really very good at it. Could it be he, like me, is not a natural athlete? Or maybe he just truly didn't care for the sport.

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: I'm the Only One (1993)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Melissa Etheridge sings this song as though her heart is breaking. What's your favorite love song? Is it about falling in love, being in love, or losing love? Being in love. It always makes me smile. It's simple and sweet and lovely.

2) "I'm the Only One" is a favorite song of American Idol contestants, having been performed four different times. If we were to have a Saturday 9 karaoke night, what song would you do? Joan Jett's "I Love Rock and Roll," because there's very little singing involved. I'm tone deaf.

3) A rocker at heart, Melissa Etheridge began her career in her teen years, playing with local country groups. Which do you enjoy more: country or rock? I once would have said "rock," without hesitation. Now it depends on my mood.

4) In 1985, Melissa sent a demo to Olivia Records, hoping for a record deal. She was rejected. Her debut CD was released in 1988 on the Island label and went gold. Tell us about a time you bounced back from professional adversity. I've had some genuinely horrible bosses. The worst was Patricia (don't call her Patty!). She preferred pink; she even had pink paperclips. She was also batshit crazy. I thought we bumped heads because she was uber political and more about self-aggrandizement than the work. She thought it was because we were adversaries in a past life, and if we didn't work it out now we'd continue clashing for eternity.

5) In her personal life, Melissa has faced major challenges, including breast cancer and the death of her son. She credits music with helping her heal emotionally. What gives you strength? My faith and my sense of humor.

6) Melissa is a vegetarian, so her diet emphasizes plant-based foods like fruits, grains, nuts and vegetables. What was your most recent meal? Would it qualify as vegetarian? Shredded chicken with barbecue sauce, with a side of corn, and an ice cream sandwich for dessert.

7) In 1993, the year this song was popular, a massive storm dropped a record 56" of snow in Mount Le Conte, TN. Have you done much shoveling this winter? We haven't had any accumulation yet this year (which is weird, since it's mid-January). But even if we did, I wouldn't shovel it. The condo association pays a service.

8) One of the most popular movies of 1993 was A Few Good Men, starring Tom Cruise, Demi Moore and Jack Nicholson, who famously said, "You can't handle the truth!" What's the most recent movie you watched? Everything Is Copy, a documentary about writer/director Nora Ephron (Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail) by her son, Jacob Bernstein. I enjoyed it not only because Nora Ephron is a heroine of mine, but because it made me wonder what I would have learned about my mother if I'd taken the opportunity to sit down with her friends and relatives and ask about her life.

9) Random question: Dessert is on us! Describe your perfect ice cream sundae. Mint chocolate chip ice cream, hot fudge, nuts, whipped cream and a cherry. (Cherry is optional. I'm not crazy about the taste, but I like the visual.)

 

But I thought things would get easier

Today we had a financial planner talk to us about Social Security. It was excruciating. Oh, Social Security is a wonderful benefit that I intend to take full advantage of, and it's commendable that my company invited the planner to address us, free of charge. But he was a terrible presenter. He would explain all these fantastic things about Social Security and I was eager to write it all down, but then he said, "You have to be born before 1954 to take advantage of that." 

A citizen born in 1953 would be 69 years old. I promise you: there are no 69 year olds working at our agency.

Anyway, I did learn something valuable. I'm glad I have the information, even if I'm not crazy about the ramifications. As the law stands now,* if my income in retirement is more than $25,000, I will need to pay at least some tax. However, I won't be required to pay taxes on the entire amount of my Social Security check. Right now,* there's a cap so no more than 85% of my SS payment is taxable.

Do I understand this? Kinda sorta. But here was my key takeaway ...

Retirement will not be easy. I hoped when I stopped earning money, the paperwork surrounding money would be reduced. That's simply not true. I will forever be wondering if I have the right Medicare supplement plan. I will forever be handing documents over to an accountant to do my taxes and keep me out of prison.

Oh well, as Maurice Chevalier once said, "Growing old isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."

*And these laws could change and change again before I start collecting.

Thursday Thirteen #242

The Thirteen Most Popular Cat Names of 2021. I live in a two-cat household and spend a lot of time at the vet. I've noticed in recent years that more and more people are giving their pets more "human" names, veering away from "Fluffy" and "Mittens." I see my observation is not unique to my neighborhood. Here are last year's most popular feline monikers.

1. Luna

2. Milo

3. Oliver

4. Leo

5. Loki

6. Bella

7. Charlie

8. Willow

9. Simba

10. Lucy

11. Lily

12. Nala

13. Kitty (the outlier)

None of my cats has gone by those names. Over my lifetime, I've shared my home with Tommy, Little Tommy, Snoozer, Trouble, Annie, Wilma, Tara, Allison, Billy, Joey, Charlotte, Reynaldo, and currently Connie and Roy Hobbs. (My mom named Snoozer and Trouble.)

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

This is the aggregate of two lists I found online.

  

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? Slow Burn by Ace Atkins. A boarded-up Catholic church burned to the ground and three Boston firefighters were killed. Arson was suspected, but the official results are inconclusive. A firefighter who lost his best friend in the blaze refused to accept "inconclusive" and asked Spenser to investigate. Who could have done this? And why? There are motives aplenty: religion, finances, revenge, or pyromania.

I try to read every book including Spenser and gang as created by the later Robert B. Parker. but somehow I missed this one, published back in 2016. I love being in Spenser's head. He's the perfect combination of integrity and attitude. I can't recall ever before reading a murder mystery where fire was the weapon, so I'm engaged.

2. What did you recently finish reading? 150 Glimpses of The Beatles by Craig Brown. An original, often amusing, but not completely successful look at The Lads. Their story is told in a series of 150 short stories/anecdotes/reminisces. Some are illuminating, some are great fun, and some are just dull. It's more than 500 pages, so I guess it can be forgiven for dragging a bit. I'm just a little disappointed because I enjoyed Brown's previous book, Ma'am Darling (about Princess Margaret) so much more.

I gave it points for style and ambition. I took away points for execution. If you're a fan, like me, you'll get a kick out of it. If not, you may be bored or bedfuddled.

3. What will you read next? I'm looking at my TBR list and I see a pair of former spouses. I've got a biography of Nora Ephron and the new memoir by her ex, Carl Bernstein. Maybe I'll go with one of those.

 

I see her less, but that's OK

This is a perfectly representative picture of my Connie. She is always alert and engaged and usually quite happy. Here she is, contentedly owning the box my flowers came in (thank you, Snarkela!). 

Joe & Connie, two gray cats hanging out

Ever since she came to my life in 2015, she's been more a "cat's cat." She made instant friends with Joey. He was old and failing at that time, with less than a year to live. My little beige demon Reynaldo had become grown bored with the aging, arthritic Joey who wouldn't run or leap anymore. I was grateful Connie filled his last months with companionship.

After Joey died, it was just me, Connie and Reynaldo. I didn't get a third cat. Reynaldo was a little maniac for much of his life, insisting on attention. If he wasn't getting it from me, he could count on it from Connie. His skinny body contained an enormous amount of energy. He needed both of us to keep him amused.

Reynaldo died in September and I thought it would be just Connie and me. But she spent the first full day after without him touring his spots throughout the apartment, meowing. It was like she was calling me to show me he wasn't here on the green chair ... or in the kitty condo ... or on the bed ... it was heartbreaking. She got over her grief but tried to replace Reynaldo with me. We were together all the time. She climbed into my lap as I worked on the computer. She sat on my chest as I lie around watching TV. Over night, she was either sleeping on the pillow next to me or on my butt. 

The office was reopening. I was preparing for a trip to Florida. She would be the only the living being in this condo for hours at a time, for days at a time. I worried about how she would handle it. After all, I'm not only responsible for her health. Her happiness is on me, too. She's such a sweet little thing, I take it seriously.

Roy Hobbs getting spruced up

Enter Roy Hobbs. Since Roy Hobbs joined us in October, Connie has become the Cat Queen. When she decides Roy Hobbs needs grooming, he submits to it. When she decides it's time for them to play, he plays. Never mind that he is easily twice her size and 1/3 of her age. She is the alpha, and he knows it. Fortunately, she is a benevolent despot. 

Alas, I now no longer feel her soft fur next to my face when I wake up in the morning. Instead of sleeping all night on the pillow next to mine, she has returned to her favorite cold-weather spot beside the heater in the living room. But she comes to check on me if I haven't gotten up at the usual time, she follows me, chatting all the way as I go to the bathroom and then to the kitchen. She likes to cuddle a bit after dinner. But most of her time is spent keeping tabs on Roy Hobbs. 

That's what makes her happiest. That's as it should be.

More than just an opportunity to sleep in

Today I celebrated Dr. King's birthday by staying in bed till noon. Then I took a long, leisurely shower and reheated wontons and fried rice. (Yum!) It was lovely, but that's not what today is about.

I also sent postcards to voters, encouraging registered Democrats to make sure they're enrolled in Vote By Mail. We live in a country where as many as 40% of voters believe taking a knee in peaceful protest during the National Anthem is shameful, but storming the Capitol with Confederate flags and MAGA hats is somehow not all that bad. It's important that men and women of good will and good conscience vote, and I'm happy I gave up a wee bit of day off toward that end.

Sunday Stealing

 From the League of Extraordinary Penpals

1. Do you buy things when you want them or wait for sales? I'm an impulse shopper. While I can be remarkably cheap about some things (I use a tube squeezer key to get every last bit of toothpaste), I have also been known to buy stuff I don't need just because it's on sale.

2. Do you think time moves slowly or quickly? It depends. During a late afternoon meeting, time crawls. While watching a movie I adore, the moments seem to race by.

3. How often do you spend time alone? All day every day. Unless Zoom calls and phone calls count.

 4. What’s something that has changed in the last month? My front door. One month ago today I had a wreath on one side and Christmas cards taped to the other.

5. What’s the best part of your job, profession? Seeing the results. Did my words encourage a consumer to pick up the phone or click "Learn more?" I like knowing my efforts have helped my client's bottom line.

6. How many pens do you have? I have no idea.

7. What is your healthiest habit? Probiotics! My gut is so much more efficient now that I take one every morning and eat Chobani yogurt a couple times/week. 

8. Do you have a favorite postage stamp?

9. Who did you talk to the most this week? Last week, I suppose it was my art director. Or maybe it was Elaine from movie group.

10. What’s on your bedside table? Two alarm clocks and a tissue box.

11. How often do you try something new? It depends on what we're talking about.

12. What are some of your grocery list staples? Coke and 2% milk.

13. Do you have a favorite poet? Nope.

14. What interesting fact do you know? President Kennedy's favorite carol was "What Child Is This?" 30 years after his death, Jacqueline Onassis told a friend that during the holidays, when she'd unexpectedly hear it in a store or restaurant, it touched her heart. She was used to seeing her late husband's name on roads and schools. She had learned to handle coming upon his image in magazines or on TV. It was "What Child Is This?" or "Greensleeves" that never stopped hurting. I wonder if that says more about the power of music or the nature of grief.

15. Do you fold laundry right away or do it later? Right away.

Well, that was disturbing

My friend Kathy got the keys to her new apartment on December 15. She didn't have to be out of her old place until December 31. The two apartments are in the same small town. For reasons too convoluted to follow, she no longer had the internet at her old apartment and didn't seem clear about how to get it in her new place. She has to go to the local public library to use their wifi. But she managed to email her new address to me. Kathy asked me to share it with our mutual friend, John. Kathy has always been a little in love with John. As much as she enjoys hearing from me, she'd want to hear from him twice as much. I forwarded her new address to him.

When I was in Key West, I sent a postcard to her new apartment. I wrote: Happy Holidays from Florida! Happy new year in your new apartment. John sent a holiday card to the new place, as well.

I just got an email from her, sharing her new address. Again. Asking me to forward it to John. Again.

I responded that I would, and then asked if she received my postcard from Florida. She said she couldn't recall.

She went on to tell me that she's feeling overwhelmed but hopes to be settled in her new place "by spring." Why will it take a retired woman with no other demands on her time three months to unpack a 1BR apartment? 

She's now 73. 74 next month. She is often unhappy, usually confused. I don't want to say she has Alzheimer's or dementia, because I don't know that. She refuses to see a doctor. I worry about her living alone. (Though she does have adult grandchildren nearby.)

I don't want this to be happening.

Return to Beforetimes

My most delicious coconut & rum cocktail

When I worked downtown, I used to love Madison Tavern. It's right there in the train station. It's all solid wood and exposed brick. It used to get crowded with commuters, but it never got so noisy that my friends and I couldn't hear each other. (I hate getting home and finding myself hoarse after hours of yelling over the din.) The appetizers are terrific and the bartenders are generous when they pour.

Then the pandemic shut everything down. With so many people working from home, and so few of us commuting, Madison Tavern suspended operations. 

Well, now they're back! Actually, I believe the reopened before Labor Day, but with one thing or another, I finally made my way back to Madison Tavern. I met Elaine there for dinner. We toasted her last day of work (possibly ever!). I ate and drank too much -- spinach-and-artichoke dip and calamari as appetizers, a burger for dinner, and a rum-and-coconut concoction with coconut shavings on the rim.

Elaine was nice enough to bring chewy treats for my cats. She's such a thoughtful person. I'm so glad I met her through movie group.

Done!

That five character text made me so happy. Patrick tells me that Reg and Henry now have health insurance. Finally. Now I can breathe.

According to a Harvard study, more than half of the households that file for bankruptcy do so because of medical bills. With Henry's TBI, his condition is always evolving, and I've been so worried that something sudden will happen that will land him back in the hospital. And let's not forget, they live in Florida during a pandemic. I just checked the stats: 59,000 new cases were reported yesterday in The Sunshine State, where masks are deemed unimportant.

With no insurance, an illness or hospitalization would be cataclysmic for their finances. And their futures. They aren't young men anymore. Henry just turned 59. Reg will be 62 next month. They simply don't have time to recover after a bankruptcy.

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Bobby's Girl (1962)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Marcie Blane confesses she sits at home, hoping Bobby will call her. Do you owe anyone a phone call or email? Yes. I should answer my Cousin Rose's letter. It's on my dining room table so I won't forget.

2) We know Marcie wants to be Bobby's Girl. Let's play the Google Game and find out what you want. Go to your favorite search engine, keystroke your name and "wants," and then search. (For example: "Samantha wants" led us to a math problem that begins: "Samantha wants to purchase a new dress ... " Crazy Sam was tempted to read on because her wardrobe could use sprucing up.) What does Google tell us you want? I want "ideas (shoes, boots and purses)." It's a Pinterest fashion page. I like the hobo bags.

3) This hit record was an accident. Marcie Blaine had just graduated from high school and had a few days before she had to take off for her summer job as a camp counselor. A friend asked her to record a couple songs he'd written, just so he could play them for record labels and song publishers. Her friend was hoping somehow an established star would hear the songs, record them and make one of them a hit. Instead, a producer at Seville Records said he wanted not just the songs but especially the unknown girl who was singing them, and Marcie became a recording artist. Tell us about a favor you're very glad you did for a friend. Friday afternoon, Patrick asked me to call our friend Henry and give him a pep talk. They were online, enrolling Henry and Reg in Obamacare! I hope they finished the process. (They have until midnight tonight.) Henry and Reg need healthcare ... badly. I told Henry that I firmly believe that he deserves Obamacare discounts as a taxpayer, they are not welfare, and he should take them. I haven't heard back from Patrick yet, but I'm feeling good about this. I've been trying to persuade Henry and Reg to enroll since October.

4) By the time summer was over, and Marcie's gig as a counselor was done, she was #3 on the charts. Her record stayed in the "Hot 100" for 19 weeks and, for the second half of 1962, she was the top-selling female singer in the US. What female singer do you listen to most often? I recently stumbled upon a 1994 CD called "Hold Me, Kiss Me, Thrill Me" by Gloria Estefan. It's Gloria's cover versions of her own favorite love songs and it's been my go-to for background when I'm working.

 

5) After "Bobby's Girl" took off, she recorded it in German for the European market. Only she didn't speak German, so she sang it phonetically. Can you sing any songs in a language other than English? "Sie liebt dich, yeah, yeah, yeah ..."

6) Seville rushed Marcie into the studio to make more records. None of them charted higher than #68, and Marcie wasn't having fun. After a year of being a rock 'n roller, she enrolled at Queens College in New York City. What's the most recent class you took? I don't recall a class in a school setting, but I had to endure an online seminar about how to spot phishing emails.

7) In 1962, when this song was popular, the most popular baby names were Michael and Lisa. Are there any Michaels or Lisas in your life? Lots of Michaels. Snarkypants is my only Lisa.

8) Also in 1962, Marlene White, the first African American flight attendant for a major US airline, appeared on the cover of Jet magazine. What's the last magazine you flipped through? Was it in print or online? US Magazine in print. Don't judge me. Sometimes I just want to see Prince William and Duchess Kate looking all royal.

9) Random Question: After enjoying a long, relaxing weekend, do you find yourself more or less productive on Monday morning? It just so happens I have embarked on a three-day weekend! I plan on sleeping a lot. Let's see how I feel Tuesday morning.

 

Thursday Thirteen #241

The Thirteen Most Popular Songs, January 1982.*  I can still sing along with the first 12. Even with the ones I never especially liked (#2 and #4). That's how powerful and influential Top 40 radio was in my life 40 years ago.

1. Physical -- Olivia Newton-John

2. Waiting for a Girl like You -- Foreigner

3. Let's Groove -- Earth, Wind and Fire (My favorite; though I only ever knew the refrain. Hearing it digitally makes the lyrics so much clearer than they sounded through my AA battery-operated Walkman. )

 4. I Can't Go for That -- Hall and Oates

5. Young Turks -- Rod Stewart

6. Harden My Heart -- Quarterflash

7. Leather and Lace -- Stevie Nicks and Don Henley

8. Centerfold -- The J. Geils Band

9. Turn Your Love Around -- George Benson (My then boyfriend loved this one)

10. Trouble -- Lindsey Buckingham

11. Yesterday's Songs -- Neil Diamond (And now it is one of yesterday's songs)

12. Coming In and Out of Your Life -- Barbra Streisand (the girl can break your heart with lyric)

 

 13.  The Sweetest Thing I've Ever Known -- Juice Newton (Your Honor, I swear I've never heard this before in my life)

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

*According to our friends at Billboard.

Let it go, Gal, let it go

It started back in October. That's when I began investigating Obamacare options for zip code 33041. I sent them to Henry's husband, Reg. Since Henry's TBI, Reg has to be the one to make the decision and sign up.

In November, I took a deeper dive. The hospital in Key West has an advisor on staff who can help locals enroll and fill them in on any discounts they may be eligible for. I sent this to Reg.

In December, I passed all of this information on to Patrick, who began living with Henry and Reg just before the holidays. Patrick offered to sit down with Reg and help him with enrollment. He was rebuffed. Emphatically.

I do not understand this. Why would anyone want to go without insurance coverage during a pandemic? 

Also, whenever Reg isn't working, he's farting around online anyway. He watches YouTube videos and writes long, rambling Facebook posts about how difficult life with Henry has become. He has become so dependent on the "likes" and the supportive, "how do you stand it?" comments from people not as familiar with the situation as they might be. Why doesn't Reg spend an hour of that online time improving that difficult life?

Henry is worse than he was when I last spent in-person time with him in 2019, but not as bad as he was at the height of the pandemic lockdown in 2020. This tells me that his condition is evolving. The medications he's taking may no longer be adequate/appropriate. He needs a full neurological workup -- most likely in a hospital in Miami. He hasn't had one in more than two years.

Reg is tired and angry. He doesn't make shaving or hair cuts a priority anymore. He also no longer maintains boundaries with Henry. Reg indulges and indulges Henry's bad behavior to avoid constant, daily battles but then finally he can't take it anymore and blows up. Henry is confused and hurt by what he perceives as Reg's cruelty. Reg needs counseling -- anger management of some sort -- to help him cope with his unique circumstances.

Neither man can get the help he needs without insurance. They can get insurance for about (using online calculators) $300/month. It would be even less if Henry were declared both disabled and incompetent. 

The Obamacare enrollment ends at 11:59 on Friday. I'm nauseous thinking about how that deadline will pass without them being covered.

I just sent Patrick another link, hoping he can use his proximity to greater advantage and convince Reg to act. I'm not hopeful, but I felt I had to do something.

But now I have to, in Patrick's words, "detach with love." I have to let it go.

I am not good at this.

Old friend update

She was back to the hospital on Friday, but that was a good thing. They felt they had the capacity to care for her. Remember, Monday the hospital was overrun with covid patients -- unvaccinated covid patients! -- and even though my friend has a fever, is 65 years old, and suffers from both diabetes and heart disease, they couldn't treat her!

After a day of tests, they concluded that 1) she has a tenacious uti that has caused sepsis and 2) she does not have covid. They didn't admit her, but sent her home with antibiotics and prescription-strength ibuprofen. Hopefully next week she will be strong enough to go see a specialist (in his office; not at the hospital). Her medical team wants to control any kidney damage that this prolonged -- nearly 4 solid weeks! -- period of fever and infection may have caused.

She's sleeping comfortably but sleeping a lot. Fortunately she's retired and doesn't have to add worry about missing work to concerns about her health.

I'm so relieved. But I'm still pissed. I love her, and because of irresponsible unvaccinated people, she didn't get the care she needed as soon as she needed it. The stat I heard on the national news this morning was that 65% of hospital beds are filled with unvaccinated covid patients. 

Are people willfully stupid? The vaccine reduces the likelihood of transmission, hospitalization, and death. Just because you know a vaccinated/boosted person who got a breakthrough case doesn't mean the vaccine doesn't work. Did the vaccinated/boosted person you heard about end up in the hospital, or in the cemetery? No, of course, not. If you still don't understand, think of the vaccine and booster like a life jacket.

In the meantime, I'm just going to take comfort in knowing that the infection bedeviling my oldest friend is finally being treated. I love her very much.

Woman vs Machine

Or perhaps this should be: Woman vs Artificial Intelligence. I had a Lucy Ricardo moment, another of those times when I felt my life going ridiculously off the rails and yet I persevered ... for no particular reason.

Smash His Camera is the documentary about Ron Galella, the New York-based paparazzo who began making a name for himself in the late 1960s. I have a love-hate relationship with Galella. His work has given us a beautiful and generally flattering view of JBKO's post-White House life. I love looking at his photos. I hate what he did to get them. He stalked her, sometimes hitting her with his camera strap to get a reaction. Jumping out of bushes. Hiding in coat racks and behind retail counters. Using telephoto lenses. He bedded Jackie's cook to get her schedule and pursued her then young children and any Kennedy cousins he could find, hoping to get Aunt Jackie in the shot. (There's a scene in the movie where an adult Bobby Kennedy, Jr., asks Galella how old he is now and says, "Too old for jumping out of bushes, huh?") JBKO eventually took Galella to court for harassment. She got slammed in the press for an oversized sense of privilege (who does she think she is?), but she won and he could not come within 25 feet of her. I wonder if, had Princess Diana had the same steely sense of self and took on the press in the same way, she might be alive today.

Anyway, I learned that the documentary on Galella is now on Amazon Prime. I wanted to watch it. I was initially thwarted by my voice remote. When I asked for "Smash His Camera," I was told by my TV screen that I have no camera monitored by Xfinity. OK ... I asked for "Ron Galella." No results. I eschewed the voice feature and dove into manual search mode, laboriously key stroking first S-M-A-S-H-space-H-I-S-space-C-A-M-E-R-A and then R-O-N-space-G-A-L-E-L-L-A. I reaped no rewards, but a touch of carpal tunnel.

The mature side of my brain was telling me to say "what the hell" and move on. Unfortunately, my stubborn side is more powerful. I went to my laptop, logged in to Prime, and found it rather easily using my QWERTY keyboard and Amazon's superior search function. I watched online through the credit frame, and then went back to my TV. EUREKA! Xfinity/Prime asked me if I wanted to continue watching. Yes, please!

Was it worth it? Kinda/sorta. I tuned in for Jackie but also enjoyed the meta moments at the beginning, where Galella is still tracking an aging Robert Redford after all these years. On his way into the hotel where Redford is being feted, Galella notes a crowd of younger photographers and fans and asks who they're waiting for: Angelina Jolie. "I wish I was shooting Angelina Jolie instead," he says wistfully. I wonder if that got a laugh at Redford's Sundance Film Festival, where the documentary won an award.

 

One of us has changed

Yesterday afternoon I was waiting to hear from my new boss, Marilyn. I was a little nervous about it, a little unsettled, because she and I are just getting to know one another and I'm not sure we approach work the same way. Spinning the dial, I was happy to land upon The Seven Year Itch. A frothy comedy with (that other) Marilyn's most iconic scene: her dress blowing up as she stands on the subway grate. I went into it thinking it would be a lovely distraction from stress.

I'd seen the movie start-to-finish at least three times before. I'd always enjoyed it. Monroe was completely charming, and director Billy Wilder is one of my favorites (The Apartment, Sunset Boulevard, Some Like It Hot).

I was disappointed by how The Seven Year Itch made me feel in 2022. It struck me as dumb and smutty. ALL Tom Ewell's character thinks about it sex. He ONLY sees The Girl (Marilyn's character doesn't even have a name!) as objet de desir. He never stops trying to maneuver her into bed. (He doesn't ever just ask her, he's forever trying to trick her.) The movie no longer seemed silly or light. It was offensive.

Obviously, it's the same film it was when I saw it in the 1970s and the 1980s and 1990s. So I've changed, it hasn't.

One thing hasn't changed, though: Marilyn Monroe was luminous. Charming. Her appeal is immutable and immortal.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Moody Blue (1977) 

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song was recorded in the special studio Elvis had built in the Jungle Room of Graceland. During the pandemic, have you made like Elvis and worked from home? We quit working onsite in March 2020, and here we are, almost two full years later, still working from home. We began going in one day/week in November, but omicron squashed that. I kinda miss the city, but frankly in this cold (the mercury dipped to 17º in the afternoon this past week) I don't miss the commute.

The New Yorker created this reasonable facsimile of my dining room, where I WFH

2) Elvis sings that his girl is completely unpredictable. Which quality to you find more attractive: spontaneity or dependability? In my 20s, I would have said spontaneity. I thought wild and unpredictable men were sexy and exciting. With time I see the other side. Wild and unpredictable men may also be childish and disappointing. I would have done better with dependable.

3) He only performed the song once in concert. In February 1977, shortly after the record was released, Elvis sang "Moody Blue" live in Charlotte, NC, but had to rely on lyric sheet. Crazy Sam can sympathize because she seems to forget passwords as soon as she sets them. Do you often struggle with your memory? I'm noticing typical -- but frustrating -- old age stuff. Like the other night, neither my oldest friend nor I could remember the word "malingerer." We were all, "The military word for 'lazy!'" "Frank used to say it on MASH!" "When you're in the Army and pretend to be sick!" I finally Googled it. Otherwise we'd still be shouting definitions to one another.

4) "Moody Blue" was the final hit of Elvis' lifetime, only getting to #31 in the US but reaching #3 in the UK. What's your favorite Elvis song? I have many. This is the first one that popped into my head. (He had me at "Lord Almighty!")

I saw Aloha from Hawaii when it was first broadcast. I was in high school, and I watched it live in the livingroom with my mom. We were having a great time, especially after she reminded me she and Elvis were less than a year apart in age. When he'd swivel, bump or grind, I'd tease her and ask, "Why don't you do that?" My dad grumbled, "I hate Presley," got out of his recliner and left the room. I thought, "Good for Elvis! Still pissing parents off after all these years." 

5) We're focusing on Elvis this week because January 8 would be his 87th birthday. He enjoyed celebrating his birthday by renting the Memphis movie theater and watching the latest movie with an invited group of friends. What's your favorite way to celebrate your birthday? Dinner with a friend. Free grub and good conversation! What could be better?

6) For his 11th birthday, young Elvis asked for a rifle or a bicycle. His mother deemed the gun too dangerous and the bike too expensive and instead gave her son his first guitar. Tell us about a memorable birthday from your youth. The year I turned 8, my mom called the mother of a classmate who had recently moved and invited Janet to my party. She now lived only a town or two over, but when you're 8, that might as well be Siberia. My friends and I were so excited to see Janet again! She brought an Addams Family card game as my birthday present.

7) Elvis loved horses and kept them in the stable at Graceland. His favorite was a palomino named Rising Sun. To honor both horse and rider, Elvis' daughter has always kept a palomino in the stable whose name includes "sun." The current resident is Tuscan Sun. Known as "Tucky," he's lived at Graceland for more than 20 years now and is a favorite of Alene Alexander, who maintains the stable and reports he has "attitude and knows he's prettier than everybody else." Tell us about an animal who holds a place in your heart. Reynaldo died in September, and I still miss him every day. He could be a monster, but he was also very affectionate and fully engaged in life.

My little man, looking deceptively angelic

8) Throughout his life, Elvis had trouble sleeping. As a preteen, he was a sleepwalker. As an adult, he battled insomnia. Is sleep an issue for you? Well, I wake up in the middle of the night for about an hour every night. I get something to drink or go to the bathroom, watch a little TV, and doze off again. I don't know that it's an issue, since I'm used to it.

9) Random question: Do you wear your shoes in the house? Seldom. Usually slippers.

 

Thursday Thirteen #240

Thirteen Books I enjoyed in 2021. I read 47 books this past year. Some I loved, some were just OK. Here are the thirteen I enjoyed so much they now feel like friends.

1. The Princess Bride by William Goldman. I originally read this back in the 1970s, when I was still living at home. I loved it then, and I'm happy to report I love it now. If you have seen the movie, you only know half the story. The romance and high adventures of Buttercup and Westley are all here, but so are William Goldman's bittersweet ruminations on how different life looks to him as an adult. (I think this is the book I've given as a gift to the most people over the years.)

2. Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie. Hercule Poirot isn't on a case. He's just trying to get back to London from Istanbul. Even though the luxurious Orient Express train is fully booked, a friend, who works for the railway pulls rank and gets him onboard. There's a murder. The train is stopped by a snowdrift, so no one can get on or off. The passengers are trapped with both the corpse and the killer. And the world's most brilliant detective, who figures it all out in 250 of the most entertaining pages I read all year.

3. The Purple Diaries: Mary Astor and the Most Sensational Hollywood Scandal of the 1930s by Joseph Egan. Mary Astor was a successful and hardworking actress, best remembered today for  The Maltese Falcon and Meet Me in St. Louis. She was also unlucky in love. Widowed at just 24, she fell hard for a doctor who rocked her world. Confusing sex for love, she married impetuously and soon regretted it. Unfortunately, she and the doctor had a daughter before they realized how incompatible they were. He returned to his old girlfriend, she took a lover (a famous playwright) and they would have just gotten a sophisticated divorce ... if not for her diaries. Once the doctor found the diaries and saw how his wife had written about him, he was wounded and wanted revenge. He'd keep her diaries private if she'd give up custody of their little girl. Astor surprised him by risking her career (remember, this was the 1930s) and fighting for her daughter. The "sex diary," and what may or may not have been in it, was covered every newspaper, magazine, and radio station in the country! Studio heads actually pressured her to give up her child. She withstood it all. I liked Mary Astor for her steel spine and I appreciated how Joseph Egan brought the America of the 1930s to life.

4. Kennedy's Avenger by Dan Abrams and David Fisher. There's no question that Jack Ruby killed Lee Harvey Oswald. The shooting took place on live TV. So this account of Ruby's trial holds no suspense as far as the defendant's guilt or innocence. But Abrams and Fisher give a complete, three-dimensional view of Ruby, his crime, and the atmosphere in Dallas that ended with a conviction. A fascinating exploration of a story I thought I knew.

5. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir by R. A. Dick. A short, romantic and surprisingly spiritual novel about a meek young widow who finds herself in a secluded cottage, under the care and tutelage of a dead sea captain who sees her more clearly and understands her better than everyone she encounters in the "real world." Every Ordinary Lucy should have someone in her life who sees her as a Beautiful Lucia, even if he's a ghost.

6. Someone We Know by Shari Lapena. A twisted tale of suburban paranoia. Raleigh is a typical teenager with a gift for computers and a penchant for breaking and entering. He amuses himself by sneaking into neighbors' homes and hacking into their laptops. Raleigh doesn't do it for financial gain, just kicks. But the fun goes out of it when one of the neighbors gets dead.

7. My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing. Holy shit, this is even darker and more twisted than the Lapena book. But it has stayed with me. Our narrator adores his wife. She's a beautiful redhead, an accomplished real estate agent, a good mother to their teenagers. But the magic has gone out of their relationship. They're drifting apart. They need a hobby to bring them back closer together again. They settle on murder. By the time I was done with this book, I was freaking delighted to be a barren spinster.

8. Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho by Stephen Rebello. Psycho is a better movie than it needed to be. It could have just been a commercial slasher flick. Instead it's a haunting film, beautiful in its own way. If you care about movies and how they're made, you'll enjoy this book.

9. The Last Boy: Mickey Mantle and the End of America's Childhood by Jane Leavy. This book presents Mantle as the equal-but-opposite of that other mid-century American icon: Elvis Presley. Mickey had a sunny smile, Elvis was known for his sexy sneer. They were both insanely talented. Neither was terribly bright, and they both cracked under the pressure of adulation. Where Elvis turned to drugs, Mickey drank. They both died as parodies of their earlier, gorgeous selves (Fat Elvis, Skeletal Mickey). While this book ultimately left me sad, there is much in it that's glorious. If you love baseball like I do, you'll enjoy the insights and tales of Mantle's on field heroics. Like The Babe, Lou Gehrig and Joltin' Joe, Mickey Mantle was a Yankee Great.

10. Peyton Place by Grace Metallious. This book was a national sensation the year I was born. It spawned an Oscar-nominated movie and the first nighttime soap. It's still part of the vernacular, decades later. So I figured it was time for me to finally read it. It's much better written and far more compelling than I expected. It's not really about sex, it's about the toxicity of secrets. The courage of Selena Cross, insisting on holding her head high, confident that she'd done nothing wrong, has stayed with me. It's a far from perfect book, but certainly a compelling one.

11. Ma'am Darling: 99 Glimpses of Princess Margaret by Craig Brown. This is not a conventional, linear biography. It tells the story of Queen Elizabeth's rogue, star-crossed sister in a series of anecdotes from throughout her most public life. I enjoyed it as much for style as for content. A highly original book.

12. Paul Newman: A Life by Shawn Levy. Paul Newman's dying words to his daughters were, "It's been a privilege to be here." It seems he lived his life believing his accomplishments started with lucky breaks and he was determined to deserve them. He considered himself lucky to be born handsome, to have survived WWII without so much as a scratch, to have happened into acting, to have found great love with Joanne Woodward. He tried to earn what he'd been given through hard work and by giving a fortune to charity. He was not a perfect man, his faults are cataloged. But he seems to have been a good one. I enjoyed my time with him here as much as I enjoy his films.

13. Patriarch: The Life of Joseph P. Kennedy by David Nasaw. Even if he hadn't been father to a President, two Senators, a philanthropist and and an ambassador, Joe Kennedy's life would have merited a biography. Investor, real estate titan, and movie mogul, he wore many hats and accomplished much (but he was never a bootlegger; that myth is dispensed of rather thoroughly). He was often less than admirable, but he was never dull. His story is the story of America in the 20th century. A fascinating, sweeping story well told.

I used to TT religiously back in the day. (Here's #239.) Let's see if I can get back into the swing of it.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

Trying not to be angry

But not succeeding. I mentioned that my oldest friend has been battling a fever of unspecified origin for weeks and weeks. She also suffers from diabetes and heart disease.

When her fever spiked again on Monday, her doctor recommended she call 911.

Know what she was told? That there isn't a hospital near her with an available bed.

The hospitals in her Southern California county are simply overwhelmed by covid patients. Mostly unvaccinated covid patients. She was prescribed another round of antibiotics and will see a specialist early next week.

So her health is at risk because of the willingly unvaccinated. Let that sink it. I wonder how many other victims of their stubborn resistance are out there.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? 150 Glimpses of The Beatles by Craig Brown. The story of The Fab Four and their impact on the world, told through anecdotes from people who knew them. Or studied them. Or loved them, whether up close or from afar. It's an interesting device. Because it's not linear and the stories so very wide ranging, I am always surprised by what comes next. 

Here's a sample "glimpse" from Melanie Coe. She and Paul McCartney intersected twice. In 1963, when the Beatles were just on the cusp of superstardom and she was an affluent 14-year-old, she won a lip synch contest judged by Paul. Melanie parlayed this into a gig as a backup dancer on a BBC teen show, which sent her spinning into a sophisticated world she was unprepared for. In 1967, Paul read a story in The Daily Mail about a runaway 17-year-old girl. Melanie's father told the reporter he couldn't understand why she would leave her car, fur coat and comfortable bedroom. Not realizing this girl was the one he'd met four years before, he was inspired to write "She's Leaving Home."

As a passionate and lifelong Beatle fan, I can follow along with 150 Glimpses easily. I wonder, though, if it's as much fun for someone not as familiar with the Lads from Liverpool.

 2. What did you recently finish reading? And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. (AKA "Ten Little Indians.") What a nifty little thriller this is! Ten strangers are summoned to a luxury house on a secluded island. Three (a secretary and a maid/butler married couple) are hired to work for the couple renting the house. The other seven come from various walks of life and are lured by the mysterious, unexpected invitation for a free vacation.

Strange, but their hosts and/or employers aren't there to greet them and never show up. Horrifically, the 10 strangers find themselves being knocked off. One by one.

I knew the story when I picked this book up, having seen the two versions of the movie. I was surprised that the book ends differently. I won't give anything away, except to say that the book (while more of a downer) makes more sense. Sometimes, I'm afraid, happy endings aren't in order.

3. What will you read next? I'm not sure.