Look! I'm smiling!

I feel the clouds slowly parting and smiling is a little easier. All because of our new Account Director, aka AD.

So far, he's everything I hoped he'd be. He's smart about marketing. He knows the products. With that combo, I'm certain to learn from him. He's unrelentingly positive. And he likes me.

People are nicer to me, now that AD is installed and clearly sees me as an asset. The new Mr. Big spoke to me today for the first time since he joined the agency in November. Honest. After four months. He admitted this, saying, "I suck." Well, yes, Mr. Big, you do. But the important thing is, he sought me out today. He told me that he knows how important I am and will continue to be to AD.

My boss treats me better when AD is within earshot. Apparently my boss wants AD to think that he and I have a casual and fun relationship. (Barf.) Other account execs are friendlier when AD is around, too.

Yea!

I don't feel like going into it all right now, but 2016 has been shaping up as the worst year ever. I am so grateful for a bright spot.

Uh-oh! You know what this means

Yes, I'm taking my mail at The Stoney End.

This is the 16th time I've mentioned this song on my humble blog. Recorded definitively by Barbra Streisand, it includes the Laura Nyro lyric that encapsulates exactly how I feel when it seems life is getting away from me: "Never mind the forecast for the sky has lost control/and the fury and the broken thunder's come to match my raging soul."

I don't feel like detailing everything that's weighing on me right now. It does no good. If you're interested in the litany, this post is a good place to start. Right now it feels like everyone around me is hurting, like everything is spiraling downward, and I am helpless to stop any of it. So I decided to concentrate on what I can change. First on the list is my hideous bathroom.

It's half done. It's been half done for more than a year. New toilet, new sink, new medicine chest. Old bathroom tiles, old shower rod, old towel racks. I hate it. It's a depressing way to start the day. I was going to use my tax refund to finally, FINALLY finish it.

New tiles, new fixtures will come to $5,000. I got an estimate! I was excited, fantasizing about a new fresh, clean way to start the day.

Then the boom dropped. This building needs two new washers and dryers and a new elevator. There's a BIG special assessment coming.

There goes my new bathroom.

I know, I know. Compared to things like losing one's home or losing one's breasts, my problems are not as big those swirling around me.

I should value how much better my gut is doing. Finally. After all these months I think I'm getting better. I should concentrate on that more.

But I admit, I'm tired. This is just another thing. Just another rotten, unfair thing. The hits just keep on coming.

I timed it

My boss got back from vacation today. He spent what he claimed was a relaxing week in Mexico. Yet it took him just over two hours to be all exasperated and snarky with me.

I know he doesn't feel all that secure in the ground beneath his feet these days. I get it. But none of it is my fault.

Also, for reasons I don't feel like spelling out right now,* I'm not necessarily at my most pert and enthusiastic myself these days. It's going to take a lot of maturity and patience on my part to continue to pull the cart in double harness with this unhappy boss of mine.

*But if you've been reading, you know! And probably don't feel like reading about it again.

Sunday Stealing

Healthy Meme

When was the last time you got a nose bleed? I get minor ones all the time in winter and spring, when the air is dry.

Do you keep magazines by your toilet? Do people really do that?

If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? I've never worked food service because I'm sure I'd be terrible at it.

Have you ever stolen a road sign or traffic barrier? No. I can't imagine why I would want to.

What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? I enjoy Thin Mints, true, but I loooove those peanut butter sandwich cookies.

When was the last time you purchased alcohol? I haven't yet this year.

Do you find it attractive when a guy actually shows his feelings? Depends on what those feelings are.

Are you a fussy eater? I'm becoming one, as I've been battling a rather tenacious stomach bug for months now.

List everything you ate and drank today: Water, saltines, a Slim Fast shake ... Jealous, aren't you?

How are you sitting? On my fat ass

Waiting for something? No

Do you like pretzels? Sure

Do you wait until you’ve completely finished a certain makeup product before you buy a new one? I try to. I don't like waste.

Did you wake up before 8:00 a.m. this morning? Yes

Have you ever told anyone you were okay when you really weren’t? Yes

Do you have reason to cry right now? I suppose, but I'm not going there

How many sodas a week do you have? Too many! Lots and lots and lots.

Do you shop at Victoria’s Secret? No.

Are you into sports? Hey, hey, holy mackerel, no doubt about it! The Cubs are my team.

Can you easily touch your toes? More easily than I can touch someone else's.

What did the last shoes you wore look like? Five eyelet, white running shoes.

What do you currently hear? A political ad. We've got a primary Tuesday, so the airwaves are pretty well flooded with them right now.


Have you ever done yoga? Yes. It didn't go well. I have a hard time completely relaxing in a crowded room.

Do you text a lot? Not a lot.

Do you have a fax machine at home? No

Do you know anyone who has diabetes? Yes

Have you ever had to block anyone online? No

Are you afraid of thunder and lightning? No

Are you a shop-a-holic? Yes

Are you healthy? HA! Not since December 23. But I hope to be healthy again someday soon.

Good day/bad day

How to describe my Saturday? It was such a mixed bag!

First of all, I early voted. For Hillary. Which felt better than I thought it would. And for Kim Foxx, which I now regret. Here in Cook County we have three women running for States Attorney. The first is Anita Alvarez, and I believe she disqualified herself with her handling of the Laquan McDonald shooting. Then there's Donna More, who has to my ears the best plan for reforming bail/sentencing and getting guns off the street. Finally there's Kim Foxx, who is backed by The Machine but also endorsed by The Tribune and Dick Durbin, both of whom I respect. Looking at the polls, More can't win, so I voted for Foxx.

But now I think of my young nephew, who was absolutely glowing after attending a weekend Bernie Sanders rally. I don't share his enthusiasm for Sanders, but I completely admire his idealism. My vote for Foxx was cynical. I wish I could take it back.

I supported healthcare for infants ... and got a $1 shirt. There's a bi-monthly rummage sale here in town that supports a different local charity with every sale. I always mean to go, but my Saturday mornings get away from me. Yesterday I made it. I didn't spend any more than $1, but I was happy to be part of the event. The majority of my neighbors was there to support prenatal and early infant medical care. One girl, a college student on a strict budget, bought a garbage bag full of clothes for $19. "My spring wardrobe," she said grandly as she hefted the bag over her shoulder. Another woman was scoping the vases and wristwatches because she has gotten really valuable items here for $5 or less. Touchingly, an elderly couple was haggling over 2 pairs of pants for $1. Yes, all the signs say the prices are NOT NEGOTIABLE, because, after all, the sale is for charity. But the husband had just had surgery and lost a ton of weight, pounds his wife dearly hopes he'll soon gain back, so she only wanted one pair of the small-sized men's pants. 50¢ clearly made a difference to this couple's budget. I was willing to make up the difference, but this sort of thing can be sensitive because pride and dignity are involved. The volunteer who manned the register gave the couple the pants for 50¢. It was the second time this week that I realized I live exactly where I belong.

I broadened my diet, with disastrous results. A meatball sandwich for Saturday lunch. Who could have predicted what it would do to me Sunday morning? I'm so sick of being sick! I have an appointment with a new gastroenterologist next month. I am eager to discuss the path going forward with her.

It was good to get out. A few hours after my sandwich, I began to suspect it was a mistake. My first impulse was to get into my pajamas and take it easy. But you know, there's an emotional component to my malady, and sitting around being depressed that I was still sick isn't doing me any good. After all, this has been going on since December 23! I can't let this rule my life. So I took a quick nap (quick because Reynaldo was opposed to it), and went to a special Saturday night meeting of my movie club.

I still don't like Garbo. 1939 is the stuff of legend for classic movie fans. It gave us two of the best known, most loved and most familiar films of all time: The Wizard of Oz and Gone with the Wind. Those two are such cultural juggernauts that they overshadow all the other phenomenal movies that were released that year. And so, throughout the year on Saturday nights, we're screening some of the others. Last night it was Ninotchka. I admit I got bored and even dozed for a few minutes. For me, Garbo's nowhere near as compelling The Great Kate or even Marlene. But what the hell. It was good to be in a room full of movie lovers, to get my geek on and talk about what I love with others who love it, too. My best meet-up buddy, Joanna, wasn't there, but I found myself talking to -- and being sought out by -- others in the group. That made me glad I went. My job has been the focal point of my life for so long that I don't often meet/connect with people not in the industry.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: See You Later, Alligator (1956)

1) Crazy Sam's mother is terrified of alligators. Just looking at a photo of one of those scaly reptiles gives her the creeps. Is there a member of the animal kingdom that scares you? Squirrels.

2) Gators are carnivores, but they aren't picky. If meat isn't handy, they'll munch on fruit. Are you particular about your diet? For example, do you try to eat gluten free, low sodium, etc.? No. I'm battling my way back from tummy trouble, and currently have to be careful with dairy, but I am hopeful that someday soon I'll be my old self again.

3) In Spain, this song was a hit under the title, "Hasta Luego, Cocodrilo." Say something else in Spanish. Bienvenido a Chicago, Sr. Trump.

4) When this week's artist, Bill Haley, was a little boy, he made a guitar out of cardboard and pretended to play that until his parents got him a real one. Tell us about something you wanted so badly when you were a kid. Blaze! He was the most completely awesome rocking horse ever. I will always remember rounding the corner and discovering him under the tree that Christmas when I was 4. Santa totally came through!

5) Early in his career, Bill did whatever it took to get the gig. When singing cowboys were popular, the Michigan native pretended to be a cowpoke and renamed himself, "Silver Yodeling Bill." Have you ever fudged on your resume or fibbed in an interview? No. But I recall with bemusement how unaccountably confident I was in my younger days. I remember being asked in an interview if I could write telemarketing scripts. I said "sure." I'd never written, or even seen, one before in my life, but that isn't what I was asked. I was so sure that, given an example, I could compose one. I got the job and I did fine with the scripts. But the older I get, the more spooked I become and I would not have answered that question the same way in an interview today.

6) When his career was going well, Bill was generous and loved to give extravagant parties at his home, which he called Melody Manor. Do you enjoy playing the host? No

7) Bill was blind in one eye, the result of a botched operation when he was a child. Since the blind eye wandered and didn't focus, he always wore a curl over the opposite eye, hoping to draw everyone's attention to the other side of his face. What is there about your appearance that leaves you self conscious? My chins. Both of them.

8) On the other hand, what is it about your appearance that pleases you, and that you would never change? My dimples. I didn't like them when I was younger, but now I appreciate them.

9) In 1956, when this song was a hit, Elvis Presley exploded onto the music scene and displaced Bill as rock's top artist. The press and public assumed Bill was jealous of Elvis, but in reality he liked Elvis a great deal. Are you jealous by nature? Not professionally. Personally, I have fallen victim to the green eyed monster.

 

Don't drag the Chicago Police Department into this

Donald Trump says the Chicago Police Department recommended he cancel tonight's rally at the UIC. Donald Trump is, once again, lying.

"A spokesperson for the Chicago Police Department tells ABC7 Eyewitness News the Chicago Police Department did not talk to the Trump campaign or tell them to cancel the event, and that the first police heard was at 6:30 p.m. when they were notified by UIC and Secret Service that the event was canceled."

The CPD has lots of high profile, disturbing problems. But they were not responsible for what you saw on TV tonight.



This is who I have been thinking about tonight. This is how you address a crowd of the angry and the heartbroken. This is how you "make America great again."

I love my little town

I fell in love with this village when I was still in high school. Connected to the city by two el lines, the bus and a commuter train, it's always near everything. It's racially diverse and politically progressive. It's always felt like home.

Because we're a village of dedicated tree huggers, recycling is heavily encouraged. For reasons too complicated and boring to go into, we were without recycling bins for about a week. I felt so bad about not doing my part for the polar bears and the future generations, that I brought a bag of paper with my on the train so I could recycle it at the office. Yes, I felt a little silly to be commuting with a bag of trash, but the silly was better than the guilt.

I was so freaking DELIGHTED to see the new recycling bin back behind my building!

"At least we're not dead."

It was ridiculous that we were laughing. After all, none of it is funny. It's just that there was so fucking much of it that Barb and I were found ourselves in stitches.

I don't feel like detailing the litany of woes bedeviling me. If you want to read about it, you can find it here, and here, and here. I try to remain cheerful despite all that, but every now and again it washes over me that I have been in some degree of pain every day for nearly three months, with no concrete end in sight, and I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Last night, I sat down to eat at a lovely restaurant with an expansive menu, and I was bloated and full and uncomfortable. Again. Still. I wanted to cry.

That's when Barb breezed in. She looked more distracted than usual, which I thought was work related. After all, after her biopsy last month, she shot me a text message saying the procedure had gone "just fine."

She hadn't lied exactly. The biopsy itself had gone "just fine." It's the results that took my breath away. She has cancer and will undergo a double mastectomy on April 6. My head was spinning as she explained her options for reconstructive surgery.

Complicating the situation is Barb's kid sister. They both tested positive for the BRCA gene and so her sister spun out at this news. Sis is also pressing the panic button about her teen daughter -- Barb's niece -- worrying that the high school student is a ticking breast cancer time bomb.

As we were packing up, leaving the restaurant to go to the theater, Barb commented that if one lowers the bar "way down low, we're actually lucky. At least we're not dead." As I juggled my handbag and computer bag, I countered that at least I've only got two bags -- the colostomy bag hasn't made three yet. This tickled us.

The play we saw was 42nd Street. It was nostalgic, predictable and silly and just what we needed. At one point during dinner I suggested we just blow it off. After all, it's just lighter than air. "You're going out a youngster but you've got to come back a STAR!" The score includes "Lullaby of Broadway" and "Shuffle Off to Buffalo." When I got home, I felt happier than I thought possible under the circumstances. Sometimes fluff does a body good.

But here's the thing I'm thinking the morning after. Barb has cancer. Mindy's husband has a bad ticker. My nephew is battling depression. My friends in the Keys are beyond broke. I pass my florist's shuttered door every morning. Joey's dead. I'm still sick.

I cannot believe how bad 2016 is turning out to be!

Hey! I think I love you!

What has me channeling my inner Laurie Partridge? We have a new Account Director! AD, as I shall christen him, is taking the role previously played by Long Tall Sally and before her, The Chocolate Covered Spider. It's an important job, requiring both people kills and smarts, and we haven't had anyone good in this position for years. We've had petty, and overwhelmed, and batshit crazy, but not good.

I am extremely hopeful that AD will, indeed, turn out to be good. He's already asked smart questions, and already tried to build a relationship with me ... and he just started Monday!

I complain a lot about work, but that's because I really want to do a good job. And to do a good job, I need a competent Account Director. I hope that's exactly what AD turns out to be.

More? Really? Really!

If I may indulge in a little personification: 2016 is consciously competing to be the worst year of my life.

Yes, I've been in pain, first with c. diff and then ongoing PI-IBS. And yesterday was a bad day. Yes, I lost my beloved Joey. But believe it or not, this is just the tip of a very cold, foreboding and jagged iceberg.

First I found out about my nephew's disturbing difficulties. I know he's getting care, but he's a good kid and I love him and I hate that he's battling this.

Then there were Mindy's husband's health problems ... and my florist's heartbreak ... and money troubles -- my own possible ones and my the very real ones faced by my friends in the Keys.

But wait, there's more! My oldest friend, who had fallen off the radar for about a week, explained what was up. Her 19 year old daughter had a vicious case of the flu, complete with bloody diarrhea, so bad she ended up in the ER. My friend took a lot of time off work to care for her daughter, which concerns me as much as the flu. She's away from work a lot, and I worry how much more her bosses will accept.

And my friends in Key West were just in a car accident. No one was hurt, but their car sustained $5000 worth of damage. I cannot emphasize more how industrious they are, how hard they are trying, how tired they are.

I love these people. I feel helpless. And it's getting to where I'm scared to pick up the phone.

It's a lot, and yet it's not enough

The man who killed Nailah Franklin back in 2007 has finally been sentenced. He got the maximum penalty, life in prison. Since he is now 38, I suppose he has at least 30 years ahead of him. In a cage. Without access to the fine clothes and high-end cars that he so enjoyed when he was on this side of prison bars.


Now I don't have to think about him anymore.

Instead, I'm going to close this post by concentrating on Nailah Franklin. I never met her, but I remember that warm day in 2007 when her former coworkers were handing out leaflets at my el stop, pleading with Chicagoans to be on the lookout for her and her car. Of course, by then she was already dead, but we didn't know that.

What I did know is that she was obviously much loved. Her short life and sad death touched me, and I honor her here.


Nailah Franklin graduated first from Homewood Flossmoor High School and then the University of Illinois.

She spent 5 years at the prestigious ad agency, Leo Burnett.

She moved to Eli Lilly in 2006 because she believed a sales job would help give her greater control over her finances and career.

She loved "all things Oprah."

She loved clothes and had a terrific sense of fashion.

Her mother told the Tribune that she wondered why Nailah "always seemed to be in such a hurry to live life. I think her spirit knew she had such a short time on this Earth and she had to cram in as much living as possible."

An older sister remembers her "little baby voice that she never grew out of, but she was bold and spirited, headstrong and beautiful."

Her father recalled "an exceptionally smart woman" and said that not a day went by that he didn't miss her.

A younger sister smiles when she remembers CD/DVD collection because "it was such a reflection of her -- a combination of old school songs by Luther Vandross and Tae Bo exercise DVDs."

Her youngest sister tried to follow Nailah to Urbana but she wasn't accepted. She treasures Nailah's words of encouragement as she applied to other schools. "When we learned she had died, I considered quitting the nursing program. But I remembered how much she believed in me and I thought it was important to keep going."

Her young brother tearfully took the stand to tell the court that he wishes he could call Nailah "for advice on how to deal with losing her."

Nailah volunteered at the Chicago Urban League. She was eulogized as "not a star, but a superstar."

She was just 28 when she died.

And to think, you could have gotten a personalized cutting board!

I finally read my December issue of O magazine today, featuring Oprah's favorite things, and learned that I could have given everyone on my gift list a personalized cutting board at a little over $150 a pop.

The magazine entertained me as I pedaled ... for the first time in 2016. I finally returned to the health club and it felt good. I warmed up on the deltoid fly and the abductor/adductor before moving to the exercise bike, where I kept my heart rate to about 100 bpm for 25 minutes.

It felt good. I'm hoping that the incremental physical activity will help my gastrointestinal tract get back to normal.

Sunday Stealing

Garage Sale Meme

Is your phone right next to you, or at least close by? My landline is within sight. My cell is somewhere in my purse, which is near the door.

What windows or tabs are open on your computer right now? Oh, there are four open right now. Too many to name.

Is your phone a touch screen? My cell is.

Who is the last person to call you? My friend Alan. He touched base after going to the doctor.

What was the last movie you watched? Room. Gulp. It's tough to watch, though both of the lead performances are outstanding. Brie Larson deserves that Oscar.

What are you doing tomorrow? I'm posting this Saturday night. Tomorrow is Sunday, which for one last week, means Downton Abbey. Sniff, sniff. I'm gonna miss those Crawleys.

Are you in a good mood? Pretty much.

Do you think exes can remain friends? No. I think that's sad, but true. Of all my exes, there's only one I hear from regularly.

Are you starting to realize anything? That not everyone needs to know exactly what I'm thinking about every little thing.

Do you follow rules or break them? Depends on the rule.

Are you currently looking forward to anything? Of course! I'm deep into my Sinatra biography, there's the season finale of Downton Abbey, the sun will be out ... Sunday will be a good day!

Could you go a day without eating? Yes. I have recently. Tummy trouble.

How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?  None.

Do you scream stuff out the car window? I don't have a car.

Do you have reason to smile right now? Sure.

What do you do when you need to relax? Farmville.

What are you listening to right now? SNL

What’s your greatest fear? Plane crash

Do you have a best friend? Yes.

Are you afraid of death? No. The moments immediately preceding it scare me, but not death.

Do you open up to people easily? Probably too easily.

Has anyone upset you in the last week? Fuck yes. I work at an advertising agency. We're a building full of weirdos.

What’s your favorite drink? Coke

What are you craving? Coke

How did you sleep last night? On my right side

Would you ever consider turning your house into a B&B? No.

What was the first thing you ate today? Ritz Crackers

Do you have anything more important you should be doing right now? Yes

Have you ever eaten tofu, and if so, did you enjoy it? I don't recall ever eating tofu

What was the last type of meat you ate? I had a burger.

What color is your toothpaste? White

Have you taken any medication today? Yes. I'm an old broad, so I take cholesterol meds and a probiotic and allergy meds and a multivitamin.

Have you ever inhaled helium? No

Have you set an alarm today? Yes

Do you keep up-to-date with current news and events? Yes. We've got an election coming up in Cook County and the State's Attorney race is an important one.

Have you asked someone for advice today? Yes.

What color is your shampoo? White
 
Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? Yes

Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go Garage Sale shopping? No.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: FortyFive Seconds (2015)

1) The very bad day described in this song began promisingly enough. The lyrics tells us, "Woke up an optimist, sun was shining, I'm positive." How did your day begin? I slept a little late because my alarm clock's battery had worn down. The clock still worked, but the alarm never went off.

2) This song refers to Monday morning. What's on your plate for Monday? We have a new account director starting! I'm so excited! We haven't had anyone in that role since Long Tall Sally crashed and burned last summer. I hope I adore him.

3) The lyrics request, "promise you'll pay my bail." Have you ever had to bail anyone out of jail? (Or have you been bailed out?) Golly, this happened nearly 30 years ago. My friend John was busted for smoking pot at one of Chicago's outdoor festivals. He called me that Saturday evening and told me he needed $250 or he'd have to spend the night in jail. SHIT! No one wants to spend the night in a Chicago jail. So I took $20 cab ride to bail him out, armed with my then brand-new Discover card, because the city had just begun accepting plastic for bail. What neither John nor I understood is that, when you're held on  bail, you only need 10% (plus a small processing fee) to get out. All they put on my credit card was something like $27.50. He had nearly that much on him, and the cab ride cost nearly as much! As you can see, John and I weren't very street or sophisticated. It does kind of explain why I'm so shocked by how commonplace marijuana is today. I smell it daily when I take the el, or walk past my downstairs neighbor's condo when her son is home alone. I'm an old lady of a generation when you got busted for smoking pot.
 
4) Rihanna gets top billing in this all-star trio. She says that when she was a little girl, she used to walk around singing "A Whole New World" from Disney's Aladdin. What's your favorite song from a Disney movie? 



 Sometimes, when I see Trump spewing his toxic shit, I wish Julie Andrews would just spontaneously materialize to provide the good/gracious/disciplined antidote. (Do you suppose he'd tell HER it would "be a pretty picture, you on your knees?" I think not!)

5) Rihanna dated outfielder Matt Kemp when he was with the LA Dodgers. Opening Day is less than a month away. Are you a baseball fan? Uh, YEAH! Go, Cubs, go!

6) Kanye West also sings on this week's song. When he was a little boy, he spent a year in China with his mother. Have you ever lived overseas (as opposed to just visiting on vacation)? Nope.

7) Mr.West is part owner of the Fatburger chain. Do you like grilled onions on your burger? Nope.

8) This week's third artist, Paul McCartney, is a vegetarian. Think about your most recent meal. Did it include chicken, pork, or beef? Eggs or dairy? I had a bowl of cereal with milk.

9) Paul was born at 2:00 PM on a Thursday. Do you know what day of the week you were born? Do you know the exact time? Friday morning at 12:01 AM. I know this because I had to dig out my birth certificate so I could renew my passport.

2016, we talked about this!

This year is not going well.

•  My friend Mindy called. Her husband had an angioplasty. His prognosis is good, but she's scared. They have been together a long time, been through a great deal together, and she loves him very much.

•  My florist closed her doors for good. This is a woman I spoke to at least twice/month, maybe more often, over the last ten years. We chatted often when I came in for the flowers I keep on my desk. Over the years we talked about my nephew and her granddaughter, who are about the same age. I knew she worried about her kid brother's checkered romantic and employment history. Suddenly, over the holidays, her husband's health took a drastic turn for the worst and now she had to close the small, independent business they built together. This makes me monumentally sad. I worry about her, about what she'll do after he's dead and she has neither of the long-time ballasts of her life. Last Thursday I slipped in with two tiny boxes of chocolates -- one for her, one for her loyal assistant, Darlene. I came by when I knew she wouldn't be there because I was afraid to face my florist's tears. I feel a little guilty about that. I should have let her cry and given her a hug.

•  I haven't heard from my oldest friend in more than a week. I hope it's because she's happy and busy. With her history of depression, I worry it's because she's blue and overwhelmed.

•  Things are chaotic at work. Not busy, mind you. Politically turbulent. Which sucks.

•  My friends in Key West are broke again. I got a sad email from him. He's despondent over not getting a better paying job at the library. He really wanted it. (Right now he's working 6 days/week at 2 jobs and this library position would allow him to have two consecutive days off again.) He told me of stopping by a restaurant I like down there. Not to dine. He saw a former coworker of his through the window, surprised to see she was waiting tables there. After they chatted amiably, he started to leave and saw a $20 bill on the floor. He pocketed it and headed home. Then he turned around and went back. He was afraid it was one of his friend's tips and knew how hard she would have worked for a $20 tip. I responded with a chatty, handwritten snail-mail note, all about the Illinois State's Attorney race and my confusion about who to vote for. I slipped a $20 CVS gift card into it. I did it this way because I didn't want him to be embarrassed by my help. But it makes me sad. Everyone I know who lives on that island works so hard! And I was touched by my friend's integrity in returning that $20.

2016 better start getting better. It feels like a long year already.

Not a good color for me

Yellow, I mean. And I saw a tinge of beigey yellow in bowl Monday morning, which freaked me out. For it was that yellow that signaled the advent of c. diff back in December.

I most definitely didn't want to revisit that! And yet Dr. Google tells me that it's not unheard for up to 25% of c. diff patients to suffer a recurrence. So I called the office of my new gastroenterologist to discuss how we should proceed from here.

What a massive disappointment that was! Now remember, this is Monday morning at 9:00. I asked when I could expect to hear from him. Nothing as specific as "11:45 today," mind you. Just "today or tomorrow."

"I don't know, ma'am. He's in clinic right now and he won't even see your message for at least an hour."

I explained that I understood that. What I wanted to know was, would he try to call me back Monday, or should I expect to hear from him Tuesday.

"I don't know, ma'am. He hasn't even seen your message yet. I have no idea when he'll call you back."

"You mean," I said, surprised and certain she wasn't understanding me, "he might not call me back until Wednesday?" Remember, this was Monday morning.

"That's right. I don't know when he'll call because he hasn't even seen your message yet."

"I'm sorry, that's not acceptable," I said, and I hung up.

There's a tension component to my gut trouble. When I'm stressed, my gut roils. It always has, ever since I was in junior high. Worrying about this for up to 72 hours would just make it worse.

This man is a gastroenterologist. Clearly he has treated other patients, like me, whose issues are exacerbated by their emotional/mental state. And yet he doesn't have a policy about returning calls that will help alleviate their stress?

He's not the doctor for me.

So I phone by GP. She called back within two hours and prescribed more tests. We're waiting for the results to come back.

I love how responsive she is, but she's not a gastroenterologist. I agree that, with whatever is now going on with me, I need a specialist.

So I'm doctor shopping again. I think I've found a likely candidate. She accepts my insurance, is taking new patients, has positive online patient reviews, and practices out of two nearby hospitals I know well (important because I need a colonoscopy). After my GP and I talk about what's going on right now, I'll decide better what to do next.

Sunday Stealing

HOW ARE YA TODAY?

Okay, here we go. How are ya today? I'm OK I guess. My gut's giving me a little grief. But considering how awful my gastrointestinal tract has been so far this year, "a little grief" is a condition I'll gladly take.

Have you ever been so happy you felt invincible? Yes

Would you ever refer to something as ‘bitter sweet’? Yes

Is there a person in this world you don’t think you could ever figure out? Oh, God yes!

When was the last time you were freaked out? Watching an interview with Trump supporters in Texas. Person after person said, "He just says what we feel." REALLY? You feel it's OK to make fun of John McCain's time as a POW? Or to refer to Holy Communion as "my little wine and my little cracker?" Or to cruelly mock a disabled reporter? It would be one thing if they supported Trump in spite of this stuff. Instead it looks like they're voting for it because of it. I find this monumentally disturbing.

 

Do you learn from ‘every’ mistake you make? I wish I did, but I don't.

Do you sometimes think that you’re too nice? Yes. Especially for the Age of Trump.

Is there something you’re dying to tell someone? Yes.

Do you think you have a unique name? No.

Do you usually try to find the good in people? Yes.

Do you look back on embarrassing moments and laugh about them? Yes.

Have you ever laughed just to save yourself from humiliation? Yes.

What are you doing in 2 hours? Taking a shower and touching up my sorry-looking pedi.

What is the last thing you ate? A little applesauce. (Tummy trouble.)

Do you love your job? I love what I do. I don't necessarily love my job.

When is the last time you showered? Yesterday

Who is the last person you texted? My friend in the Keys.

When is the last time you were in a hospital? February 9. I saw a specialist for my tummy trouble. While I waited for my cab, I was impressed by the charming little gift shop. Sometimes these shops can be rather depressing affairs, but this one was lovingly cared for and the gifties were uplifting. I imagine the items in there brightened many a patient's day, and that made me happy.

The last time you went out to eat, what did you order?
 Coffee shop, Saturday morning, eggs benedict.

Do you tend to have a lot of those moments where you forget something that you wanted to say?
 Good goobies, yes!

How long have you known the last person you text messaged? 20+ years

Will this week be a good one? I hope so. I want it to be.

Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? Of course. I admit that this year has been difficult thus far, but there's always joy to be found. For example, I saw a lovely little movie, Brooklyn, that I wouldn't have gone to see if not for its Oscar nominations. (I love the Oscars, and they're on tonight.)

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning? Morning.

Have you been to New York City?  Yes. I'd go back in a heartbeat if it wasn't so expensive.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Times of Your Life

1) This song is all about memories. How far back can you remember? What's your earliest memory? I remember pressing my hand down on a red leather ottoman. I was using it to steady myself as I stood up. According to my mother, I was just under a year old. We moved right around my first birthday and that chair/ottoman set didn't make the move.

2) The first line is "Good morning, yesterday." What do you remember about yesterday morning? I was mad at myself because I crashed on the sofa. I hate when I do that.

3) This song was originally a 60-second jingle, featured in a commercial for Kodak film. Do you ever use film? Or are all your pictures digital? Digital.

4) Who took the most recent photo of you? It was right after Christmas dinner. I was so happy to be in Key West, on the water with people I love, that I ran into the ocean. My friend snapped the picture.

5) This week's featured artist, Paul Anka, was born in Canada and enjoyed appearing in a made-for-TV Perry Mason movie with fellow Canadian, Raymond Burr. Do you enjoy courtroom dramas? Yes. Lately I've been watching the People vs. OJ Simpson, even though obviously I know show it ends.

6) At 15, Anka won a supermarket contest by collecting the most Campbell soup can wrappers. The prize was a trip to New York. Do you enter contests and sweepstakes? Play the lottery? I've got a couple lottery tickets in my wallet right now that I should check.

7) This year Paul Anka performed throughout Florida (Palm Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Orlando, Clearwater and Fort Myers). The Sunshine State is a popular vacation destination. Do you have a favorite spot in Florida? I've been to Orlando, Tampa, Fort Lauderdale and Key West. I've enjoyed them all but I've spent the most time in Key West.

8) In 1976, the year this song was on the charts, an earthquake hit China. Have you ever experienced an earthquake? In 2008 there was a 5.2 earthquake here in Chicago. It was a little before dawn, and it startled me awake. I don't know anyone who was injured or suffered any property damage that day.

9) Random question: Do you know CPR? Nope.