Saturday 9

Vacation (1982)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) Do you know how to water ski? No. Never tried. I don't think it would go well.

2) Do you have 2014 vacation plans? October weekend trip to LA, birthday weekend in Vegas in November, and Christmas in Key West. As I just wrote it, it looks rather exciting, doesn't it? Which is nice, because right now October feels very far away.

3) Do you have a passport? Maybe. Somewhere. It's long expired.

4) If you took a 7-night cruise, could you completely unplug -- no phone calls, no texts, no internet? Probably not. I'm hooked on the internet.

5) Do you own a travel alarm clock? No. Here at home I have a noisy, jarring Lucy alarm clock with a big bell on the top. And in hotels, I always ask the front desk for a wake up call. The sound of an unfamiliar phone very effectively shakes me from slumber.

The girls, ca 1984

6) Though the Go-Gos broke up in 1985, they frequently reunite for live performances. What's the last concert you attended? Last month I saw Miss Diana Ross at the Chicago Theater. And I saw the Go Gos at Taste of Chicago back in the summer of 1984. (A child behind me touched my bare shoulder with her ice cream bar, which completely creeped me out.) I attended both concerts with my friend John. I love how much history we share.

7) Their first hit was "Our Lips Are Sealed."  Can you be trusted with a secret? I wouldn't trust me with one.

8) In 1982, when this song was popular, the comedy Tootsie was in theaters. What movie makes you laugh? "You fucked up. You trusted us."  Animal House
 
9) Sam is chewing on a Tums as she composes these questions. What's the last over-the-counter medication that you took? Pepto Bismol.

 

I dumped it

On my way to the train this morning, I found a newly opened can of cat food, just sitting on the sidewalk. Since cats don't have the opposing thumbs needed to work the pop top, I cleverly deduced that a human had left it there.

I picked it up and carried it to the nearby trash can.

I didn't like that it was in the middle of the sidewalk. If the can was left by a Good Samaritan, trying to help out a local stray, why not leave it in his or her own backyard? I was concerned that it may have been tainted, left by a bird- or bunny-lover who doesn't want  predatory felines doing what comes naturally in their backyards. Or some fucking cat-hating sadist. Someone who doesn't want a poisoned kitty carcass on their own precious lawn.

A 59¢ can of cat food is not going to come between any cat and starvation. But if it was poisoned, it could have come between some cat and tomorrow.

Good girl

That's aimed at me. Two nights in a row I was tempted to cab it home (totalling $50 with tip) but instead took cabs just to the train station and used my 10 Ride Pass (totalling $23 with tip). Tuesday night I commuted home from my classic movie meet up, last night it was Motown: The Musical.

Having just seen Miss Ross herself two weeks ago, I think Allison Semmes did a great job as The Supreme Supreme. Especially in her slightly effected speaking voice. Diana Ross sometimes sounds to me like a girl from the projects who is speaking the way she thinks a diva should sound. (I get that from Streisand, too, who also can get very whispery and precise when speaking to her audience.)

Once again I was surprised by how little my friend Barb knows about popular music and culture. One of the more rueful laugh lines -- when Marvin Gaye angrily tells Berry Gordy he already has a father -- was completely lost on her. So was the import of Flo's disappearance from the Supremes. And the music! I think she was hearing some of these songs for the first time!

But she had a good time. And it was nice to see her. She wasn't that late for dinner, and for the most part kept her phone in her purse. A couple months ago I angrily snapped at her that the next time she checked her phone, I was getting my book out and starting to read. I appreciated that she has changed her behavior for me.

When my mind wanders ...

Last night, my classic film group viewed Hitchcock's Rebecca. I believe this is the first time I've seen it start-to-finish in one sitting, and somehow I was more impressed by the bits and pieces than the whole. Instead of concentrating on the plot and motivations, or even the sets and camera work, I found myself admiring Joan Fontaine's eyebrows.

I have been obsessed with my own brows lately. Decades ago, when I was in high school, I hated what a bushy unibrow I had. Over time they have become sparse and I think they age me, so I've been augmenting them with a pencil. I wish I had Hitchcock's makeup lady. She did an awesome job on Fontaine's brows. Definite yet still very natural and not at all overpowering.

Back to it

It's been a week since I've read, and I've missed it.

First I'd been carrying my laptop to and from work, which precluded carrying a 600+ page hardcover in my messenger bag. And I've been sick, just crashing when I get home.

I'm still not ready to resume working out, which I also miss, but I was able to go downstairs to the building cafeteria and get reacquainted with Mary: Mrs. A. Lincoln. This is a wonderful book and I was so happy to spend a little time with it again.

Fascinated

I just discovered the most amazing thing -- for 14 years, beginning when she was 21, my girl JBKO wrote to an Irish priest. Long, handwritten, intimate letters. Father Leonard became close when he acted as Jackie's host when she and her stepbrother visited Dublin in 1950, and they corresponded regularly until his death in 1964.

This means he was Jacqueline's confidante through her ill-fated engagement to a stockbroker named John Husted (not much at all is known about that relationship), her courtship and marriage to JFK, five pregnancies (including Patrick, the last baby to be born to a sitting President, and who died after just 40 hours) and the assassination.

No one is saying where these letters have been for the last 50 years, but they are now going up for auction on June 10. I hope whoever buys them will share them with the rest of us.

There is the school of thought that since Jackie was confiding to a priest, the letters should have been destroyed upon discovery. Or shared with Caroline. I understand that response.

But the lady knew she was a historic figure. The last letter is now 50 years old. I don't think her words have the power to embarrass anymore, and there's much to be learned.

I admit it: It's beyond me

My oldest friend has me stymied. I don't know how to help her anymore.

Her 22-year-old son is still living at home, sleeping on an air mattress on her living room floor. He has a friend with him, also camping out on her floor. They promise they'll be out in the fall, but she's not sure they'll be able to afford it. (Never mind that he just took his girlfriend to Las Vegas for a long weekend.)

This young man, who has a DUI and an overnight prison stay to his credit, is filled with advice for how his kid sister should be raised. He reported to his mother that his sister is known around town for her pot supply. I don't see where this is a surprise. The girl has been an outspoken stoner since she was in the 8th grade.

Yet for some reason, hearing this made my friend spin out. She's decided that her daughter needs to live with her father for the summer, to get her away from her Beverly Hills pot smoking crowd. To do this, she concocted an elaborate lie: She told her ex husband she needs major surgery, followed by 8 weeks of recuperation.

Naturally this backfired.

So now her son and daughter are fighting because Sis says Bro is a hypocritical snitch (she has a point). Now her daughter knows my friend tried to ship her away for the summer and lied about the reason. Now her ex-husband knows she made up a health crisis to manipulate him into taking their daughter.

Oh yeah, and her MRSA infection flared up. She took Friday off because she was upset and her car needed work. Then she got sick on Sunday and is off again today. She's had employment trouble. She can't afford to lose this job, so she's got an extra patina of stress.

Happy Mother's Day, huh?

I'm overwhelmed just listening to her. I don't know how to help her.

I'm not a mother. I'm not crazy about a lot of the choices she's made up until now, but I truly have no idea how to advise her here. She needs to talk to her shrink. She needs to talk to her cousin, who raised two sons.

All I can do is love her.



Image courtesy of marin/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Shame on me

I called in sick today. But I wasn't sick, I was behind. I thought we had a firm due date of Wednesday for a project and, even though I worked most of Sunday, I just wasn't on track.* So I got up way early, called the office when my voice was still thick with sleepy, and plead migraine. Then I buckled down and spent 4.5 hours banging out the copy.

At noontime I shot an email into the office with questions. My AE answered back that I was "wonderful" to consider work when I felt so poorly and, even though she could answer my questions, she'd wait until tomorrow so that I could concentrate on healing and sleep. What I didn't know this morning is that the due date had shifted a bit because of issues on the client's end. I wasn't behind after all!

Her praising me made me feel guilty for staying home, for taking a full day off even though I worked a half day on my sofa.

And it made me more cognizant of the passage of time. It wasn't that long ago that I lived on the stress and thrived when I saw a deadline looming. But I've been doing this for more than 30 years now, and I admit it -- I'm tired.

*To be fair, the reason why I didn't get more done on Sunday is my tummy was bothering me and I was sitll fatigued from my cold.

Sunday Stealing

A Movie Meme

1. What is your all-time favorite "costume" movie or period piece?  Little Women.

2. What classic film would you nominate for a remake?  A Face in the Crowd. A radio talk show host becomes an overnight sensation, gets drunk with power, and is eventually exposed as the intolerant hypocrite he always was. Maybe it's time for Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh to make his movie debut?

3. Name your favorite femme fatale. Little Rhoda Penmark in The Bad Seed. This pig-tailed darling racked up quite a body count.

4. Name the best movie with the word "heaven" in its title.  Heaven Can Wait. So romantic!

5. Describe the worst performance by a child actor that you’ve ever seen.  Bonnie Blue Butler in Gone with the Wind. Gawd! That little girl was hideous!

6. Who gets your vote for most tragic movie monster?  Frankenstein

7. What is the one Western that you would recommend to anybody?  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. The two coolest guys ever.

8. Who is your ideal movie-viewing partner?  My mom

9. Has a film ever made you want to change your life? If so, what was the film? The Way We Were. I first saw it when I was in high school. It influenced me to resist tamping down the truest part of myself, just to fit in.

10. Think of one performer that you truly love. Now think of one scene/movie/performance of theirs that is too uncomfortable for you to watch.  Judy Garland in Love Finds Andy Hardy. She plays Betsey, the fat girl who wins Andy's attention only because she's rich and can sing. She was only 15 when she made it, and according to legend it made her feel homely and unattractive in real life. I hate the way MGM tap danced on her psyche, just to get a good performance out of her.

11. On the flip side, think of one really good scene/performance/movie from a performer that you truly loathe.  I usually find Bob Hope unwatchable, but he's terrific in The Seven Little Foys.


12. What movie has the best soundtrack? A Hard Day's Night

13. Favorite actor with a mustache? (i.e: Charlie Chaplin, William Powell) Groucho, of course!

14. Shadowy film noir from the 1940's or splashy colorful musicals from the 1950's?  Noir

15. Favorite classic Disney? Mary Poppins

Saturday 9

Your Mama Don't Dance (1972)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) This song is about how the older generation often doesn't understand what the younger generation is up to. Do you keep up with trends? Not really. One of the nicer things about being old is that no one expects me to! I do go out of my way to make sure my appearance isn't dated -- tinted moisturizer instead of foundation, adding brighter, seasonal colors to my wardrobe -- but I consider that a part of my job, not something I do for fun.
 
2) This song was in the top 10 in 1972, which is also the year HBO was introduced. Do you have any premium cable channels? Too many! Last year I bundled my phone, internet and cable and just got all these premium channels that I never watch. I keep meaning to call Comcast because now that that introductory first year of bundling is up, perhaps I can save money by dropping a couple.
 
3) Mother Winters taught Sam how to kill the lingering food smells in her microwave (take a bowl of water, add a few drops of vanilla extract, and heat it in the microwave). Do you have any useful household hints to pass along? Shampoo is a very effective laundry pretreat for food stains and blood.

  
4) The French word for "mother" is "mère." What other French words do you know? Bonjour. That's about it.
 
5) Flowers and plants are popular on Mother's Day. How is your yard or garden? Is it green and/or blooming? My condo building doesn't have much of a yard, but I am cheered by the flowers that are appearing all over town.

6) Mother's Day is a big holiday for card shops. So are birthdays, weddings, and St. Patrick's Day. Hallmark sells greetings for everything from "Congratulations on Your New Job" to "Happy Retirement." Who received the most recent card you bought? My aunt's birthday is this week. I just mailed her a kitten card. She always relates me with cats.
 
7) Have you put away your winter clothes yet? No. I should. I just haven't been feeling very well this week.
 

8) Mother Winters used to scold Sam for leaving her dirty dishes in the sink. Sam admits it: as a grown up, she's still a bit of a slob. Do lean toward "neat" or "messy?" Oink. I have transcended "messy" and moved straight into "piggy."
  
9) To celebrate Mother's Day, Sam is giving away candy bars. Would you prefer classic milk chocolate, dark chocolate or milk chocolate with almonds?
Almonds, s'il vous plait. (Hey! I do know more French!)

Atta Girl!

This thumbs up is for both Charlotte and me.

She seems livelier and isn't straining anymore. I'm still giving her a spoonful of baby food with every meal to up her moisture intake. Besides, it makes her happy.

Our client meeting went unexpectedly well, too. She's been at the job a month now and is a bit less confrontational. And in person, she was more vulnerable and nicer than her bitchy conference call persona.

As we ate our Panera box lunches at the conference table, we bonded over our cats. I was worried about Charlotte, of course, but I shared a few Reynaldo stories with her.

The drive back was a trial. Highway construction. It took us barely two hours to get there, and more than four hours to get back. I haven't been feeling well, and that long ass Thursday didn't help. Ongoing headache, tenacious sense of nausea. It began as a cold, but now it's just a drag on my system. Hope it passes soon! I have a lot of work I haven't been doing because I crash as soon as I get home.

Poor Girl

Charlotte was dealing with constipation on Wednesday, straining unsuccessfully to feel completely empty.* I worry that she may be becoming dehydrated, so I'll have to watch her more closely. I dosed her with catalax (a kitty laxative) and gave her some meat baby food, which is mostly water.

I've got a client meeting today out of town and am way behind on a major project, so I simply can't take off work right now. So hang in there, little girl!

*Though what she did manage to pass looked normal to me.

Six months later ...

Last November, my handyman left a hole in my wall that he couldn't repair. Rain was coming in from around my through-the-wall ac unit, and until that sealant is replaced, there wasn't anything to be done with the wall. Other than jam a towel in the hole.

Then Chicago turned into Chiberia and became one of the coldest winters on record. Too slippery and dangerous for the condo association's maintenance man to replace the sealant. Then it got warmer but it rained all the time. We need two days of dry weather for the sealant to take.

Today, finally, the maintenance man made the repair! Yahoo!

I took today off. Unfortunately, I have a dreadful cold which kept me from getting all the work done I intended to. All I did was vacuum and walk to the vet for Miss Charlotte's meds. Maybe tonight I feel more like doing the work in the folder that is making me feel so guilty.

Stacy and Clinton tell me it's OK

Thursday morning I have a big meeting with my new, high maintenance client. This is the first time we've met face to face.
I want to appear serious but not staid. I'm going with solid gray slacks, a bright pink shell and a pale pink cardigan. According to Stacy and Clinton, gray goes with everything. With their voices in my head, I shall feel more confident.

Oh! And black shoes and a gray/pink bag.

Sunday Stealing

TV Meme, part two

16. Talk Shows. Do you watch daytime talk TV? If so, do you prefer the calm shows like Oprah or the wilder side like Jerry Springer? Let's see: there's Live with Kelly and Michael, and Queen Latifah, and Rachel Ray, and Ellen, and The View and Bill Cunningham and Maury and The Talk and Springer and Steve Wilkos and Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz  .... and I don't watch any of them. When I'm home from work I watch the court shows, like Judge Judy and People's Court.

17. Which daytime talk TV show would you like to be on? What would the topic be? I love Judge Judy. And I'd let her talk about whatever she wants because she intimidates me.

18. Before talk TV took over game shows ruled the airways during the day, which do you prefer? Or are you a soap opera fan? Jeopardy is still on. I like Jeopardy.

19. Is there a game show (past or present) you think you would do really well on, as a contestant? Wheel of Fortune, because you have to be a moron to not do well.

20. Who is your favorite game show host? Who is your least favorite? I never liked Gene Rayburn of The Match Game. I don't know why. He just gave me the willies.

21. Marathons. Have you watched any TV marathons? In part? In whole? Is there a show you’d like to see run an all day marathon? On the flipside is there a show you’d avoid in marathon? I'm watching a Will & Grace marathon as I write this. I always hated Seinfeld, so naturally I wouldn't enjoy that.

22. Out of curiosity, what’s the longest you’ve ever watched TV in one stretch? God, I don't know. When I was recuperating from surgery in the hospital, I kept it on all the time. It helped me orient myself when I'd drift in and out of consciousness.

23. On the whole do you feel most Special Reports are really that special? Or are they simply annoying? What special report has effected you most? (IE: (9/11, Reagan being shot…etc) 9/11. Though it wasn't a special report. I watched The Today Show as Matt Lauer and Katie Couric reported it live. BTW, if learning about a tornado, assassination or foreign attack on our soil doesn't seem "that special" to you, I think there's something really wrong with you.

24. What is the (pick one: stupidest, saddest, silliest, most disgusting..) thing you’ve ever seen on TV?  I think Welcome Back, Kotter might have been the stupidest thing I ever saw.

25. What’s your fondest memory of something on TV? 

The Lads, Ed Sullivan, 2/1964

26. What’s the first show you remember watching regularly? I used to watch As the World Turns with my mom.

27. What shows would make up a perfect night of TV viewing for you? I'd love a network that alternated between Law & Order and NCIS.

28. You get to create one show to put on the schedule, with any stars you choose. Who and what would it be? I'd like to see a show like SATC, but with older women who live more realistic lives. Like me and my girlfriends.

29. Canceling or Not. What show(s) would you cancel without a moment’s hesitation? Is there a show (previously canceled or just no longer airing) that you’d bring back, original cast and all? I'd cancel The Kardashians and bring back Men of a Certain Age. It starred Ray Romano and was only on two seasons because I was the only one watching it.

30. What’s the best series finale you remember? MASH

Shouldn't have worried

I was relieved to get a chatty little note from my Cousin Rose. It was all about NCIS and the new drapes for her room.

I had been dreading this letter. She was very close to her uncle, who unbeknownst to her was my molester. I know she was confused that I was uninterested in the rituals -- visitation and funeral -- that attended his passing. I was worried that she would ask me about it. While I was certainly tired of covering for the old perv, I didn't want to hurt my cousin with the ugly truth about a man she loved.

Her letter today contained no mention of him. I think now my nightmare may truly be over. I may never have to hear his name again.

It's the little things that mean a lot

What made today a really good Saturday? A lot of little things.

•  Good day, sunshine! 65º and clear skies. Perfect!

•  The staff at my vet's office. Reynaldo's prescription cat food is about $50 for a case of 24 cans, and I just can't afford that right now. I stopped by and asked them for about 5 cans to tide me over until his scheduled appointment next month. They explained that the price of an individual can is more than $3. I told them I could spare $20 right now, but just $50. They sent me home with a full case of 24, saying that since I had an appointment on the books, they'd just add it to my bill when he gets his check up. I thanked them profusely and asked if they wanted the $20 down, but they wouldn't hear of it. So while I recoil in horror at the thought of a bar like Cheers where everybody knows my name, I'm very grateful for veterinary clinic where my cats and I are recognized.

•  $8.34. That's how much I saved in coupons at CVS. I do so love me my coupons!

•  Impromptu conversation. First my neighbor Brian stopped me by the recycling bins and we gossiped a bit about goings on in the building. He's such a nice guy. Then, when I went over to my favorite coffee shop for a late breakfast, I was invited to join Nancy and her family, who had just ordered lunch. Nancy is a long-ago coworker who said she misses seeing me every day. That was nice. I'm fortunate that I'm able to make lasting connections easily. I should appreciate this gift more.

•  Cubs win! Cubs win! Now that it's May, the bats of both Starlin Castro and Anthony Rizzo have awakened. YES! I dug out my old Walkman (yes, you read that right) so I could listen to the game on WGN-AM radio as I did my errands. God, I love having Pat Hughes' voice in my head.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Blues in the Night (1952)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

   
1) Was last night a good night for you? Or were you singing the blues? It really was fine. I didn't do much -- tired from a lot of drama at work -- but relaxing and I woke up happy this morning.

2) In this song, Rosemary Clooney sings about hearing "big talk" she didn't quite believe. What's the last fib, tall tale or out and out lie you heard? Thursday we were talking about our client's major (3-5 year) project and my boss completely contradicted a story he told me last year. Which is the truth and which is the fib? I don't know. It's quite frustrating.

3) Rosemary Clooney has a well-known nephew -- George, the Oscar winner and frequent People magazine cover story. Do you have any nieces or nephews? My favorite niece is 21 and off learning to become a chef in Michigan. My favorite nephew is 13 and about to graduate from jr. high.

4) Ms. Clooney married the same man twice. They married, had five children and divorced. Then three years later, they tried again ... and divorced again. Have you ever been tempted to give it another try with one of your former loves? I have fantasized about it, played "what if?" in my head a lot, but never really done it.

5) Singers as diverse as Linda Ronstadt, Bette Midler and Amy Winehouse have said they admired and were influenced by Rosemary Clooney. If you could meet any artist (singer, writer, actor, director, painter, musician ...), who would it be? Sue Grafton, who writes the Kinsey Milhone alphabet mysteries. She just gave us "W" is for Wasted, so I fear we're reaching the end! What does she have planned for our heroine? Is she going to miss Kinsey?

6) 1952, the year this record was a hit, is also the year the "Big Bang Theory"

was introduced by physicists Ralph Alpher and George Gamow. That is too lofty a topic for this humble meme, so instead we'll just ask: Do you watch the TV show of the same name? Yes. This week at work we were confronted with a rather complicated calculation and all I could think of to do was call Sheldon.

7) Sam Winters just broke her right thumbnail. While she won't go so far as saying it has her singing the blues, she must admit it bugs her. What little annoyances are you dealing with today? A zit on my chin. REALLY? At this stage in my life I still have to deal with pimples?

8) The house next door to Sam's has a FOR SALE on the lawn. Are you contemplating a move? No. I like my neighborhood and I hate moving.

9) What's your search engine of choice: Google, Bing, Yahoo or Ask?  When I upgraded my Firefox, suddenly Yahoo just appeared as the go-to search engine, so I've been using that again. Yes, I am that lazy.

The Wisdom of SnarkyPants

"I’m relaxed and peaceful because
I trust the process of life.
All is well in my world."

I have been nervous and worried. It does leave me tired. I need to be more positive from the inside out. Otherwise, as my minister warned on Easter Sunday, I could miss out on the joys of life and become one of the walking dead.

Thanks, Snarkela.

Thank you, John

Photo courtesy of the Chicago Tribune

Sebastian, a guy I like but only barely know through our mutual friend John, got a new, better paying job in 2013 and decided to thank all his loyal friends for their support through the tough times by buying a block of tickets to Diana Ross' concert at the Chicago Theater. One of their Ross-loving crew had unexpected dental surgery. My friend John, who knows I love Miss Ross and that I fit in well with his buddies, got me the ticket. FREE!

I asked John to call his friend again, one more time, just to make sure that he doesn't want the ticket. I really want to go, but not at the expense of someone else. But we're on!

Yea! I could use a nice night out and free makes it all the better.

When smoking really creeps me out

I don't like smoking. I don't get smoking. I think this is because both of my parents and three of my four grandparents were smokers and I spent my childhood feeling like the canary in the coal mine.

And so it was that smoking distracted me from an otherwise entertaining little movie called Married Life (2007). It's a romantic thriller -- not a triangle but a square, really -- that unfolds slowly and quietly. Set in 1949, it's heavy on period details like clothes and cars and home furnishings. And all the men smoke.

One of the two men at the center of this tale is Richard, played by Pierce Brosnan. He seldom goes an entire scene without lighting up. This disturbed me because I know that in real life, Brosnan lost both his first wife and their daughter to cancer. (Though his daughter didn't die until 2013, long after the film was completed and released.) I wondered how he felt about indulging in behavior that introduces carcinogens into the system. I also always feel a little skin crawly whenever I see photos of Beatle George Harrison puffing away, knowing that the habit would ultimately take his life.

Still, Married Life was an interesting movie with lots of tension and plot twists. If you get a chance to see it, do. (Even though you may wish to leave a window open because of the smoke.)

I'm never alone

Because the shingles virus is always with me.

I had it in 2010. And it reappeared on Easter Sunday. No rash this time, no fever. Just the bitch of a backache. My doctor confirmed today, when I went in for my annual physical, that I can count on getting recurring muscle aches in that same area for the rest of my life. She did bloodwork just to eliminate anything more serious, but considering that the pain went around my back and across my stomach, just like in 2010, it was probably just a milder recurrence.

Gee whiz, I love getting older!

Image courtesy of Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

More than I want to spend

I'm surprised by how expensive tickets are for Sir Paul's summer show at the United Center. I think it's because it's one night only. I was hoping he'd add a second night when the first sold out, but it's not gonna happen. As near as I can tell, all of his appearances this time around are one night only. Not surprising, I guess, when you consider that he's 72 years old.

I'm going. I don't know how I'm going to manage it, but I will be there. Not great seats, like 2011 at Wrigley Field. But I will get in the door. Somehow.

Sunday Stealing

TV Meme, part one
 
1. TV Theme songs. Which is your favorite, and which makes you crazy enough to hit mute on the remote?  I like the themes to Kate and Allie ("Just when you think you're all by yourself, you're not") and Friends ("I'll be there for you 'cause you're there for me, too") because that's how I feel about my friends. I get annoyed by the theme to Big Bang Theory, not because I don't like it but because after hearing it 2000 times I still don't know it. 


2. The Classics. What is your favorite Classic TV show? I never get sick of The Dick Van Dyke Show, and I think I have literally been watching it all my life.


3. What character from a Classic TV show would you like to be? Ann Marie on That Girl. She had the best wardrobe, a career, a great apartment, a supportive boyfriend, signature hair and exciting adventures all around New York.

 
4. Can you remember a line you liked from a Classic TV show? "To the Bat Cave!" I love Adam West as Batman.

5. Heroes. What show featuring those who protect your country (fiction or non-fiction) is your favorite? I will again go with Batman. You can't go wrong with Batman.


6. TV Cops. Who is your favorite (past or present) TV cop? Which TV cop do you think was the most crooked, or the most inept? The cops on Law & Order are my favorite. Lennie Briscoe was kinda crooked -- he had his problems with Internal Affairs -- but I adored him anyway. I was a little in love with Mike Logan, Rey Curtis and Elliot Staebler (SVU). I can't think of an inept TV cop.

7. You need to hire a bodyguard for yourself. Which TV cop do you choose?  He's not a cop, but I'll go with Thomas Magnum. If he's my bodyguard, I must be staying at the palatial estate of Robin Masters in Oahu. I can play with the dogs, Zeus and Apollo, and at some point Magnum and I will inevitably make out on the beach. Once the danger is over, I will fly home with wonderful memories and great stories to repeat whenever I have a tropical drink. (Now if you'll excuse me, I have to spin a similar fantasy revolving around Gibbs and the team from NCIS.)


8. TV Doctors. Which TV doctor would you choose to remove your appendix? Which TV doctor would you not let touch you with a 10- foot pole? Marcus Welby, MD, may remove my appendix. Dr. Frank Burns from MASH must keep his distance.

 
9. TV Moms. Which TV mom would you have liked to have had for your own? Is there a TV mom you would never want as your own? June Lockhart on Lassie would have been a wonderful mom. I love that the dog was so totally a part of the family. I really can't stand Debra from Everybody Loves Raymond. I seriously can't even look at her.
 
10. TV Dads. Which TV Dad would you have most liked to have for your own dad? On the flipside, who was the TV Dad you’d have least liked to have had? Sheriff Taylor from The Andy Griffith Show was a great Pa. The worst would be Arthur, Carrie's dad on King of Queens.
 
11. Comedies. How do you feel about sitcoms? Good, wholesome fun or saccharine inanity? I can't generalize 60 years of TV like that.

12. If your life was a sitcom, what would the title be? The Thing of It Is, because I say that all the time.

13. If you went to a comedy club on amateur night, and they gave you some jokes and a microphone, would you go onstage?  No


14. Reality. Are you a fan of Reality TV? What’s your “can’t miss” reality TV show (or shows), or what reality TV show do you suppose the devil plays on the TV in Hell as punishment? Decades ago I really enjoyed The Real World. (Remember Pedro and Judd and Puck?) And I believe Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian are run on a continuous loop in hell.


15. If you were given a free ticket to be on any reality show, which one would you choose? All tickets to TV shows are already free. The FCC makes it illegal for networks to charge. It would be the airfare to New York or Los Angeles that would make seeing a show expensive. But I'd like to see American Idol live because Harry Connick and Keith Urban are so hot.