Well, at least now we know

My mother has ischemic colitis and has to stay in the ICU at least through the weekend. She is not in good shape, physically. It is hard for me to get my mind around this, since she is so alert and involved mentally.

There are surgeons monitoring her throughout the day, but hopefully surgery won't be necessary and her body will begin to repair itself. If she survives this, her diet will have to change radically.

She is where she needs to be. I am trying get my mind around this whole thing. It's hard.

Tomorrow I cancel my long-scheduled trip to Williamsburg. I am sad about this. Not only because I really could use the getaway, but because I feel like that, by canceling, I am giving up on my mom by admitting she might take a radical turn for the worse next week.

Call me "Narc"

Yesterday I spoke to my mom's nurse, letting her know that my mother doesn't want visitors to bring her magazines or flowers in the hospital, she wants Tums. And she convinced my kid sister to bring "a baggie full of them."

Sunday I thought my mother's passion for otc antacids was funny. First she asked me if I had any Tums. When I told her "no," she persisted, "In that big purse, you don't have any Tums? Are you sure?"

But then I read a little about Tums and, like aspirin or cold medicine, it's not completely harmless and could be interfering with her prescription meds. Not only that, it can exacerbate some of her symptoms -- including constipation and kidney problems.

I don't want my mother mad at me, so I asked the nurse not to name me as the source of this tip. But I want to help her get well!

Trifecta

This week's challenge: Check out the third definition of cheap (below), and use the word exactly as it appears, in no less than 33 and no more than 333 words.

3   a : of inferior quality or worth : tawdry, sleazy

     b : contemptible because of lack of any fine, lofty, or redeeming qualities 

It looked positively elegant, hanging there in the sun. The coat was a dark orange that reminded her of the leaves on the lawn in fall. It had chocolate brown buttons and was trimmed with golden fur.

Her grandma and big sister, Beth, were, as always, hand-in-hand as they went through the next rack of clothes.  They were looking at little t-shirts, more appropriate for the summer weather. But Tess was irresistibly drawn to the coat.

Grandma looked up and around, clearly annoyed. “Where is that girl?”

“Here I am, Grandma!” She called, standing proudly beside her find. “Look what I found! Isn’t it pretty? Look at the fur!”

“Geez, Tess! Your taste is so cheap. Let’s go!” As Grandma led Beth past the orange coat, Tess couldn’t miss her sister’s smirk.

“That’s not really fur. Not at a sidewalk sale,” Beth said. Her big sister was always more sophisticated. She was, after all, a woman of 9 to Tess’ mere 7½.

----------------------------

That long ago village sidewalk sale popped into Tess’ head decades later as she slipped into her favorite burnt orange car coat. Reminiscing about Grandma was never fun. There weren’t any Hallmark moments.

"Look at your knees! Tess, you could get dirty just standing still."
"Geez, Tess, do you have to drown your potatoes in gravy?" 

“Your voice is always too loud, Tess.”
"That's not music, Tess, it's noise."

“Don’t wear your hair like that, Tess. You have ugly ears.”
"How can you waste your time reading about pop stars, Tess?"
"Geez, Tess, stop jiggling your leg! Why can't you ever just sit still?"

Tess was 13 when her Grandma died. Today, thinking about the formidable older woman, Tess wanted to ask her, “How could a little girl annoy you so much? I was a child, for Christ’s sake. And I wanted to love you.”

Tess certainly remembered her grandmother. She just didn’t miss her.

Glad I went

Spent a couple of sunny Sunday hours with my mom in her hospital room. I brought this bear for her to cuddle while she's laid up. She gave him to me when I was a toddler and he was a fine, empathetic companion whenever I was sick. Seeing Pouting Bear again seemed to mean a lot to her, so I'm glad I did it.

My mom is very feisty because she's sleep-deprived and in a lot of pain. They still don't know what's wrong with her. Kidneys? Bowel obstruction? Bladder infection? Her GI specialist was out of town this weekend, but her GP (whom she loves) says that doctor's absence gave him a fine opportunity to get her hydrated and healthy in preparation for tests on Monday.

After chatting with her and meeting her nurses, I am more confident about leaving for my vacation on April 1. For while my mother is a sick old lady, I am nowhere near as worried about her as I was when she was battling COPD and pneumonia in Spring 2009. She is sharp and involved in her own care, and I'm confident that by the time I leave she will be diagnosed and will have a treatment plan in place.

It was also nice to see my niece again. She's in town this week for her early spring break, and she's like a tonic for my mother. A lot more take-charge than I am. I sat in the chair and interacted with nurses, while my niece fluffed pillows and checked IVs, etc. If she didn't know what she was doing (and I suspect she really doesn't), it didn't show!

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Last March Meme

1. Which TV character do you think you are most like? As one who moved from administrative assistant to copywriter, and who has exhibited questionable taste in men, I'd have to say Peggy Olson. (Mad Men is back tonight!)

2) What time do you go to bed? Between 11:00 and ?

3) What was the last meal you made from scratch? You mean like catching a fish and gutting it? That would be never.

4) What is your favorite type of music? The Beatles

5) In what position do you sleep? On my left side

6) What is your first memory? Looking at the sun shine on my little fat hand, flat on a red ottoman. According to my mother, we had that chair/ottoman set only for a brief time, but it was in front of the picture window in the house where we lived until a little after my first birthday. Lest you think I have an extraordinarily sharp memory -- all I can recall is that split-second visual.

7) What is your least favorite smell? Coffee mixed with cigarettes! (Shudder!) I became the happiest woman on the planet when smoking inside planes and restaurants was banned.

8) It's your round at the pub and your friends asked you to surprise them. What drink would you buy and why? Lotus martini. Because it's blue.

9) What was the last thing you read/watched that made you cry? I cry easily at the movies. I admit I misted up as Uggie raced his heart out to save Georg in The Artist.

10) They say that you learn something new every day. What was the last thing you have learned? That DaVinci painted the Mona Lisa on wood (poplar), not a canvas, and consequently it is very susceptible to damage from heat and humidity. I got this from a book called Mona Lisa in Camelot.

11) Which Literary love interests would you snog, marry and avoid. Snog and marry? Professor Bhaer, Jo's suitor in Little Women. Or maybe Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre. Avoid? Heathclif from Wuthering Heights. He was just too damn much drama!

12) What is your oldest memory? Didn't I answer this already?

13) Paperback, Hardback or Kindle? Which of these is your favorite reading format and why? Hardcover, because it feels so permanent.

14) If you could bring back any canceled TV series for another run what would you pick and why? Cybill, because Christine Baranski's Mary Ann was such a gas.

15) Paperback, Hardback or Kindle? It's only been a few seconds since I answered #13. My answer hasn't changed in that time. :)

Such a sad story

I admit it, I'm obsessing. About something I can do less than nothing about. I think I'm doing this to distract myself from worrying about my mother, but I am not the point of the post.

Instead, the redoubtable Katharine Hepburn is.

I discovered her when I was in high school and have worshiped her ever since: Beautiful, talented, independent and completely original. What's not to admire?

Not only do I consider her awesome, so have generations of movie fans. She has four Best Actress Oscars (to Meryl's puny little two, thankyouverymuch). Cate Blanchette won an Oscar for portraying The Great Kate and her affair with Howard Hughes in The Aviator. Her on and offscreen relationship with Spencer Tracy is the stuff of legend.

So why am I now sad when I think of this woman who lived a long (96 years!) and wonderfully productive life? Because it seems it wasn't a happy life.

In the 9 years since her death, all kinds of rumors have begun to surface about her. Mostly they circle her sexuality. Yeah, whatever. She never married*, never had children, so she had to be lesbian. How cliche! Besides, it doesn't explain why she carried on an illicit and mostly secret affair with the married Spencer Tracy for decades.Why not just marry elaborately and publicly, the way Rock Hudson did? Sorry, I ain't buying.

But the tales that somehow do ring true to me involve young Tom Hepburn. Those of us familiar with Kate's saga know how she was devastated by the death of her favorite brother, Tom, when he was 15 and she was 13. He hung himself -- according to legend, he was imitating a magician the family had just seen while visiting friends in Greenwich Village. Our heroine was the one who found him, with a sheet tied to a ceiling beam and knotted around his neck. This so traumatized her that she began giving his birthdate as her own (it wasn't until the end of her life that she admitted she was really born in May, not November) as a way to help keep his memory alive. This is the version of events she even told herself in interviews and in her autobiography.

Now it turns out some of her very closest friends, including director George Cukor, heard a different story about Tom's "accidental" death. The family "golden boy" wasn't golden at all. He stuttered, and was physically awkward and painfully shy when away from the clannish Hepburns. Instead of Kate hero-worshiping Tom, it seems he idolized his athletic, pretty and confident kid sister. He seduced her, and they began a short but completely consensual sexual relationship. When their parents found out, they blamed Tom because he was older and better able to understand the ramifications of their actions. Their son responded by committing suicide.

As the new tale goes, this was the transformative incident in her life. It left her more sensitive and introspective, but self-protective and wracked with guilt. Unable to allow herself the intimacy and joy of a family of her own. Decades later, as a very old woman, she asked a New York cab driver to take her to the Greenwich Village home where Tom took his life. She dissolved in tears at the very sight of the building, was unable to get out of the car or even speak for a time. Cukor believed she never recovered from losing Tom, never stopped missing Tom, and said he hoped that beautiful boy would greet her in Heaven, welcoming her at last to to peace.

If this is true, it's one of the saddest life stories I have ever heard. And while I don't want to believe it, somehow I do.

Oh, my poor Kate! I hope you are now resting in peace.

*Though she was married for three or four years to a man named "Luddy."

Oh, Mommy!

My mom is in the hospital ... again. This time, instead of the pneumonia or COPD that have plagued her in the past, it's some kind of infection. Maybe ileum, maybe kidneys.

She exasperates me, but she's my mom and I love her. So I'm scared.

I realize that she's ultimately in God's hands, and that in this realm she's being treated by a doctor she likes and really trusts, and all that is good. I'm trying to just get on with my Saturday. I talked to her on the phone and learned that while she's lucid, she's sleep deprived and in a lot of pain and the best thing I can do for her now is to let her be. Maybe I'll go visit her tomorrow.

But she's my mommy ...

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Come Dancing

1. When was the last time that you went out dancing? Ages ago. I don't even remember.

2. Have you ever had an argument with a teacher? Regularly. I had what was known as "a smart mouth."

3. Do you have a tough time remembering people’s names? Names? No. Anything numerical though stymies me. I can't even remember my own cell phone number.

4. Would you rather change your past or know your future? Change the past, I suppose. The allure of the path not taken.

5. What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? Nothing springs to mind. I guess I just don't approach life in that way.

6. How many credit cards do you have right now that have a zero balance? Eight. Fortunately I had Quicken open on my desktop or this would have gone unanswered.

7. What is the most expensive thing you purchased this year? My upcoming vacation (next week!) is partially paid for. When the final bill comes, it will give me pause. I prefer to concentrate on the rewards I'm earning from the credit card company. Don't annoy me by telling me that's illogical.

8 . If you're married, this probably doesn't apply to you, but: Are you mindful about getting tested for STDs/HIV at least semi-regularly? Why/why not? Married people: Were you mindful about this type of thing when you were single? Why/why not? I give blood regularly and Lifesource checks it.

9. If you could ask the president of the United States one question, what would it be? ONLY ONE QUESTION? This hurts! I guess I'd say, "You don't really think we'll ever be able to banish the Taliban from Afghanistan forever, do you?"

Trifecta

This weekend's challenge: We are given the first 33 words of a story (in bold). We each need to complete it with exactly 33 of our own words (in ital).

Memories of 1972

“There’s nothing cute about it,” he said. The register of his voice indicated decision more so than discussion.

She disagreed heartily and privately, staring past his head and out the window behind him.  The only thing cuter than David Cassidy nude on the cover of Rolling Stone was David Cassidy nude blanketing the lockers beside the science lab, welcoming our moms and dads to parents’ night.

It was fun

Saw the pre-Broadway try out of Bring It On: The Musical. While it's hardly high art -- imagine All About Eve set not on Broadway but in the hall of fictional Truman High School, and the prize at stake not a Tony Award but a 3-ft. tall monstrosity with a megaphone on top -- it was a lot of fun.

The theater was only about half full, and my friend Barb and I found ourselves surrounded by families and cheerleading squads. I must say it was almost as fun to watch the young girls as it was the play. Taylor Louderman, who played tall and strong blonde heroine Campbell Davis, got an enthusiastic standing ovation from the under 20 crowd. Fluffy as the show was, a girl of an impressionable age could have a worse role model.

A sure sign of spring!

As we sweat through the hottest March in Chicago history, there is something to celebrate.

PUPPET BIKE!



I just happened upon it last night on my way to dinner and a play. While as the announcer explains, Puppet Bike is about as low tech an entertainment as you'll find, it's always such a welcome surprise to turn a corner, see a crowd assembled and find it's these ratty old puppets doing their thing under a little disco ball.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #164

THIRTEEN

ILLUSTRIOUS 

ILLINOISANS

Blago, Blago, Blago! What a black eye you have given this state! Well, here I am, doing my part, to undo this grievous wrong and add a little luster to Illinois' reputation.

So here they are, 13 native-born Illinoisans who done good! I have alphabetized the list, so as not to play favorites.

1. John Belushi -- comedian, actor, original SNL castmember -- Wheaton, 1949

2. Lou Boudreau -- Hall of Fame player, manager and broadcaster -- Harvey, 1917

3. Dan Castellaneta -- Better known as the voice of Homer Simpson -- Oak Park, 1957

4. Hillary Clinton -- First Lady, NY Senator and Secretary of State -- Chicago, 1947

5. Cindy Crawford -- Supermodel -- DeKalb, 1966

6. John Deere -- He of tractor fame --  Moline, 1804

7. Betty Ford -- First Lady and activist -- Chicago, 1918

8. Ernest Hemingway -- Nobel and Pulitzer prize winning author -- Oak Park, 1899 

9. Jennifer Hudson -- Oscar winner -- Chicago, 1981

10. Ray Kroc -- Philanthropist and businessman of McDonald's fame -- Oak Park, 1902

11. Michelle Obama -- First Lady -- Chicago, 1964

12. Nicholle Thom -- the oldest daughter on The Nanny (just wanted to see if you were still reading) -- Hinsdale, 1978

13. George Will -- Pulitzer prize winning columnist -- Champaign, 1941

(No, I didn't forget Abraham Lincoln. He was born in Kentucky.)

For more information about the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

The Queen's Meme

Queen Mimi of Bloggingham is hosting an après St. Patrick's Day green meme.

1. How many green things are within your reach? Each of my earrings has a tiny green stone, and there are greens in the vase with my pink and white carnations.

2. Have you ever been green with envy? Yes.

3. Do you like split pea soup? No.

4. Have you gone green? I'm trying. I'm a good little recycler.

5. Do green Leprechauns scare you? No. In my mind they're forever connected to Lucky Charms. How can you be afraid when you're enjoying magically delicious marshmallows?

6.  What color was the Wicked Witch of The West's face in the Wizard of Oz? My best guess is PMS 377c. What do you think? Too yellow?


7. Tell us about your last experience with a frog...or a toad...or a prince. You pick. I don't recall my most recent experience, but my most memorable  occurred the summer between second and third grade. I was rolling down the shallow hill behind our summer cottage and came face to face with bug-eyed toad. I was frightened but he seemed quite copacetic with making my acquaintance and hopped away at a leisurely pace. It's funny how distinctly I remember his little countenance.

I Want Wednesday

I want him not to go. My best friend and his family for their spring getaway to Laguna Beach this coming Monday. Then on the following Sunday, I go on my spring getaway to Colonial Williamsburg. Which means we will go two weeks without talking. I hate that. BAD PLANNING!

WWW.WEDNESDAY

To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions…

• What are you currently reading? Fab: An Intimate Life of Paul McCartney by Howard Sounes. I have high hopes for this biography, even though right now I'm still in Paul's childhood. I have noticed that, just as most biographies of Jackie Kennedy Onassis (but not this one) cover her White House years in detail but ignore the decades she lived after, Sir Paul's biographers concentrate on the Beatle years and pay scant attention to the nearly 35 years that followed.

 
• What did you recently finish reading? Another Piece of My Heart by chick-lit author extraordinaire, Jane Green. This is the tale of Andi, a newly-40 Bay Area bride who is happy with the man of her dreams, but not with his teenage daughter. For me, the most interesting character was Janice, the ex-wife, who has more dimensions that characters like hers are usually given in books like this.

• What do you think you’ll read next? The Spellman Files by Lisa Lutz. Book #1 in a detective series about Izzy Spellman, who is described as "part Nancy Drew, part Dirty Harry." This series gets a "thumbs up" from Kwizgiver.

Good news!

One of Illinois' senators, Mark Kirk, suffered a major stroke earlier this year and, after initial press briefings that painted his physical impairment as severe but his cognitive skills in tact, we have heard precious little.

Well, today I received my email newsletter from the Senator, the first in ages! He's still in a rehabilitation facility, but he's doing Senate work and is taking visits from colleagues. Sen. Kirk even met with Prime Minister Netanyahu. So he's on the mend, and that's good.

I'm a worrier.

Who's that voter?

I just voted for Mitt Romney in the Illinois Primary.

Mitt Romney is a good and honorable man with whom I disagree on everything.

Rick Santorum, on the other hand, encourages real hate in people and it scares me.

Last night I got one of those robocalls, funded by a Santorum superpac, where I was "warned" about all the rights Romney gave gays in Massachusetts and then it closed with a plea that I be "a good Christian or Jew" and vote for Santorum.

So I set the alarm clock a little early and got up and voted for Romney. After all, I support gay rights! And as far as I'm concerned, whoever is responsible for that call knows nothing about being a "good Christian or Jew."

Besides, this poor state has already endured Blago. If we help Santorum retain the limelight, the humiliation will be so great that all citizens of voting age will be forced to wear glasses and a fake nose with moustache to disguise our shame.

Hot, hot, hot

I saw him in profile from about a half block away, and I was in looooove. Over 6' tall, with a thick thatch of salt-and-pepper hair and a strong nose. He reminds me a little of my friend Kathleen's husband, only much better looking. And must better dressed. No way Martin would ever spend that much on a suit!

I was able to get a closer view as we waited for the light to change. His skin looked really nice but he's not perfect -- his eyes are a little too close set. Such imperfections can be very endearing.

Kathy was wrong about me.

Trifecta

This week's challenge: Check out the third definition of clean (below), and use the word exactly as it appears, in no less than 33 and no more than 333 words.

3 a : free from moral corruption or sinister connections of any kind

   b : free from offensive treatment of sexual subjects and from the use of obscenity

   c : observing the rules : fair

Greetings from Illinois

He’s nothing special to look at: Balding and overweight, with a complexion that bounces between sickly winter pallor and an unnatural red summer hue. His suits never seem to fit right, and no matter what tie he chooses, it looks like it's strangling him. His oratory doesn’t get one’s pulse racing. Even with his very unpopular tax increase, the State is still operating with a deficit of at least $5 billion (some say it’s closer to $10 billion).

Yet I am happy Pat Quinn is my Governor. Because he is clean.

After George “Now Serving 7” Ryan and Rod “Welcome to Englewood Federal Correctional Institution” Blagojevich, that is refreshing.

The saddest thing about this post is that, when I saw the prompt, this is the only response that came to mind. Remember, our license plates proclaim us as, “Land of Lincoln.” If only our governors lived up to that.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Her Head Is Part Missing Meme

1. What is your most annoying habit? I believe everyone wants to know how I feel about everything. I am learning this is not necessarily true.

2. What habit would you change of your partners? (come on no-one is perfect!) [Editor's note: Not only does it assume you have A partner, but it is written as though you have multiple ones. If you do not currently have a partner or many partners, simply tell us about your last one. BW] He smoked.

3. Horrors or Chick Flicks? Chick flicks

4. What is the most outrageous thing you have done in the back row of the movies? Dozed off

5. When have you lied to get a job? Never

6. What one thing is on your list to do before you hit 30, 40, 50 or whatever significant birthday is next? After this week, when I purchased a new toilet and had it installed, I don't believe there are any more mountains left to climb.

7. Classic or modern films and why? I'm not going to limit myself and you can't make me.

8. If you were a vampire who would be the first person you would bite? Victoria Winters, the downbeat governess.

9. If you had the power to make one thing better, what would it be? I would do whatever I can to help The Puppy Rescue Mission. This group reunites combat soldiers with the companion animals they adopt while in Afghanistan.

10. What makes a great blog? Not assuming that I have a partner and children. (Yes, I read ahead to question #13.)

11. What was the inspiration that brought your blog to the blogosphere? I wanted to create an accurate snapshot of my life at a given moment.

12. What easily ticks you off (puts you in a bad mood quickly)? Assuming that I have a partner and children.

13. How many children do you have? DAMN YOU AND YOUR ASSUMPTIONS!

14. Is there anything you have ever regretted writing on your blog? Nope.

15. What’s your favorite blog post you have written this year so far? One of my entries in an online writing competition.

16. Do you ever enter other bloggers competitions, and have you ever been lucky? Yes, and no.

17. If you could be anyone else for the day, who would you choose and why? Jennifer Aniston, because then I'd be pretty and funny and I could look back on waking up with John Mayer.

18. If you could time travel to any period of history what era would you visit? The 1860s.

19. If you had to be genetically modified, would you rather have a third arm, a third leg, a second head or some other modification? I think I'd like a tail. I'd wag it when I was happy and whip it back and forth when I'm pissed.

20. Which Disney character can you most relate to? Jane Banks. Because I'd like to jump in and out of chalk drawings and go to tea parties on the ceiling.

Trapped

I have been waiting around almost all day -- I mean that literally -- waiting for the air conditioner repairman. He left here with my through-the-wall unit at about noon and here it is, 7:30, and it's still not back. I called him at 6:00 for an update and he said he'd call me back "in half an hour," but that didn't happen. And now I won't be getting the air conditioner back until Sunday. AARGH!

I'm trying not to be upset. His entire operation is just two guys -- he does this picking up and delivering while his partner is in the shop, cleaning and repairing. This record-breaking spring heatwave has folks all over town turning on our units for the first time in six months and saying, "What the fuck?" He's doing everything he can to get all of the ac's turned around same day. And there aren't a lot of repair outlets that will even bother with through-the-wall units. I don't feel like spending $500 or $600 on a new one if I can get by with spending $110 to repair the existing one.

But this is not the way I wanted to spend my Saturday! It's hot in here! And, except for about an hour running errands, I've been in here. Waiting, waiting, waiting, like Aunt Bea behind bars.

And thinking about how the temporary crown I got last Saturday popped off. Sometimes it feels like nothing goes right.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Forget You

1. Have you ever felt that you needed to just forget an ex-lover? I keep trying to forget my most toxic ex, but he keeps popping up in my life, not unlike Glenn Close at the end of Fatal Attraction. I'm kidding, of course, but it's not funny. I don't want him in my life any more. I don't trust him, I don't forgive him, and I wish he would just forget me.




2. Spring picnics and cookouts are here! What would you want to have on your plate as you head back to the table? A burger or a brat, baked beans, potato salad ... the usual.

3. It's St. Patrick's Day, March 17th! Do you celebrate? Drink Green Beer? Go out? I wish I was celebrating. It's freakishly warm here in Chicagoland and I discovered my air conditioner isn't working. So my Saturday will be devoted to dealing with the repairman. I fear he's going to need to take it into the shop and then I'll have to wait around to be here for its return and reinstallation.  Oh well, better now than in the dog days of August.

4. Did you remember to wear green today? I will! Thanks for the reminder.

5. What phrase or saying do you over use? "The thing of it is ..."

6. If you could (or could have) change(d) something about your relationship with your parents, what would it be? I need to be more patient with my mother as she ages. As our time together gets shorter, I must concentrate on what really matters.

7. If the NCAA Men's or Women's Final Four basketball tournament was played in your hometown arena or within easy driving distance from where you live, would you try to attend one of the games? No. My attitude toward sports is, to paraphrase Mike Meyers' Scottish father, "If it's not Cubs baseball, it's crap."

8. No matter what's going on in your life, what always makes you smile? Certain songs.

9. We've asked this before: What else is on your mind? Go ahead and rant. I'd really like to go to the movies, but post-Oscars, it's not a good time for it. I don't care about The Hunger Games or 21 Jump Street, so I'm SOL.

100 Songs That Move Me

Borrowed from Kwizgiver, here are 100 songs that have particular meaning for me. I began this on Sunday, March 11, 2012, and it took me till the following Friday to rank and link to 100 songs.

Remember, I'm a Baby Boomer and this list reflects that. Very little music from this millennium is represented. I apologize for my rampaging non-hipness! But I'm like Kevin Kline's Harold in The Big Chill. When asked if he could play any other music, he says, "There is no other music."

1) September by Earth, Wind and Fire. I have never been so sad that hearing this song hasn't lifted in spirits. I remember a moment in Fall 2004 when I was so blue that, when racing across a busy street against traffic, a driver honked at me and I flipped him off and kept going. I was so wounded and so angry at the world that I was willing to go mano-a-mano with a car! And then, when I got to the curb, this song came unexpectedly through my headphones. I smiled. It was my first sincere, spontaneous smile in days.


2) All My Loving by The Beatles. "Close your eyes and I'll kiss you, tomorrow I'll miss you, remember I'll always be true." The lyrics of this song, as well as Paul's voice and the look on his face as he sang it to me on The Ed Sullivan Show in February 1964, defined romantic love for me when I was 6 years old. And you know what? It's still the way I wish romance was and hope it will be for me. Sweet, tender, lovely and "true."

3) I Will by The Beatles. My grown-up equivalent of #2. "Who knows how long I've loved you? You know I love you still. Shall I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to, I will." I heard Sir Paul sing this to me at my beloved Wrigley Field in Summer 2011 and it was perfect.


4) Tears Dry on Their Own by Amy Winehouse. Oh Amy, Amy, Amy! How I wished she had more time to write more songs like this. Her voice is pretty, the Motown-inspired arrangement is lush, and the lyrics are just so raw and honest! When I fall in love, I go blind and deaf to reason and forget to, as she ruefully reminds me, "be my own best friend and not fuck myself in the head with stupid men."

5) Stoney End by Barbra Streisand. I have actually devoted blog posts to this song, because after listening to it for decades, "Stoney End" has become an actual place for me. When the pain hurts so much it feels my heart can no longer contain -- "when the fury of the broken thunder comes to match my raging soul" -- this is where my spirit goes. I let Babs do my raging for me. The fact that she is, by all accounts, happy and healthy at nearly 70 makes me feel it's safe to visit Stoney End. After all, she did, and she's survived. My oldest friend has an unhealthy fixation on Michael Jackson, and relating too closely to all that weakness and weirdness would scare me. But Babs is a survivor. She's a sturdy receptacle and a  powerful role model.

6) She Loves You by the Beatles. This song sounds so happy! And it's got the signature "yeah-yeah-yeah" chorus and falsetto "woo." But the lyrics are cool, too. For it's a third person narrative. You don't hear that in songs often. John and Paul were ambitious, cheeky little songwriters back in the day, weren't they? Not that the audience (a 1963, pre-US tour London crowd) could hear a moment of it

7) Revolution by The Beatles. I love this so! It's not every day you see Sir Paul scream his heart out. Plus, for me, this is the moment where John's activism and art came together perfectly. His passionate but commonsense approach to changing the world from within the system was a major influence on me then and speaks to me still. Oh yeah, and it's great rock and roll.

8) Peaceful by Helen Reddy. You don't know this song, do you? It seems no one does. While her big hits were, by and large, awful, Helen Reddy did record some little gems in the 1970s, including this one. I often long for a peaceful place where there's "no one bending over my shoulder, nobody breathing in my ear." This song is about the desire that drives me to unplug and run away to a spa, by myself, every spring.


9) Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen. The most romantic song I have ever heard. Sigh. The Boss melts me with this every time. I'm still looking for a hero to rise from these streets.

10) I Want You Back by the Jackson 5. One of Motown's finest. Hell, one of the finest 3 minutes in recorded sound.

11) Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. "Come and rest your bones with me." What a sweet and sexy invitation!

12) Quiet, Please by Dusty Springfield. Peter Allen wrote this song for his onetime mother-in-law, Judy Garland. But it applies to Dusty, too. I love her performance. Her connection to the material and the audience makes me feel more connected to, and grateful to, her.

13) Saturday in the Park by Chicago. The ultimate summer song by hometown band.

14) Don't Rain on My Parade by Barbra Streisand. What a voice! What a performance! My favorite moment comes at 2:20 when she wills the tugboat to catch up with the oceanliner. I admit I have listened to this to reinforce myself when own spirit sags and my resolve slides.

15) The Boss by Diana Ross.  Miss Ross is a glorious diva and I love her sound on this song. But even better, I like the message. So little of the music popular during those disco days is even worth hearing, much less remembering. But this one -- about love having a thing or two to show each of us -- is one.

16) Badlands by Bruce Springsteen. Thinking of hard lessons that need to be learned, Bruce preaches about what really matters, and he's so right.

17) Hang Fire by the Rolling Stones. I'm not a Stones fan but I loooove this cut. It's barely 2 mins. of highly concentrated bad attitude. "Having money is a full time job. I don't need the aggravation, I'm a lazy slob!" Mick proudly proclaims.


18) Somebody's Baby by Jackson Brown. I know, I know. Jackson Browne is a serious lyricist and this is not the fluff he should be remembered for. But it's adorable and it makes me happy.


19) Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow by Fleetwood Mac. Clinton-Gore 1992. When we were all young and still hopeful.


20) Gentle on My Mind by Glen Campbell. I love the lyrics to this country oldie. I am enchanted by the notion that people can be together and stay together, not because of religious vows or social convention but just because they love one another.


21) You Don't Know Me by Jann Arden. There are so many versions of this song because it's such a heartbreaker. But this understated rendition is my favorite.


22) I Don't Break Easily by Barbra Streisand. Babs combines bravado and diffidence so perfectly. Oh, I'm moving on. I'll be so fine without you. But then, "the key's still there and I left the door unchained."


23) In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning by Frank Sinatra. No one expresses loneliness and ache like Frank. His voice is so sincere and intimate. Do you doubt for a minute that he lived this?

24) God Bless the Child by Diana Ross.Yeah, I know the Billie Holliday version is considered definitive. But I was introduced to Lady Day through Miss Ross back when I was still in high school, and it's her voice singing this that stays with me. "Them that's got shall get, them that's not shall lose." Truer words were never sung.

25) Real Love by The Doobie Brothers. Michael McDonald's vocals against the relentless beat about how life and hurt can grind away "the secret part of you." Still, I'd trade it all right now for just one minute of real love.

26) I Eat Dinner by Rufus Wainwright. After he's gone, you still have to do things alone that you once did together. Like eat dinner. This song is a poignant portrait of how life goes on, but the memories persist.
 
27) I Say a Little Prayer by Dionne Warwick. This is how it feels when you wake up in the morning and you're in love.


28) Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley. The quintessential Elvis ballad: On the one hand, very corny and syrupy. On the other hand, so sincere and true. "Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be." I came dangerously close to matrimony once and this would have been our first dance.

29) You Send Me by Aretha Franklin. Lady Soul's version of this song charmed me.

30) I'll Know by Barbra Streisand. Written for the musical Guys and Dolls, this song has been covered by dozens of performers. But it's Babs' I love. "Am I right, am I wise, am I smart?" She doesn't have to ask, because when she finally finds her true love, it will no longer matter.


31) No Surrender by Bruce Springsteen. An anthem about being true to oneself, as only Bruce can sing it. I still dream of going to "sleep beneath peaceful skies in my lover's bed, with a wide open country in my eyes and these romantic dreams in my head."

32) Penny Lane by The Beatles. I remember that when I first saw this video, I was so shocked by all the Beatle facial hair that I didn't notice Paul was singing the story of my people. Life under blue suburban skies did make me feel as though I was in a play. It's a tender, melodic indictment of smalltown life, with a beautiful horn solo. So very Paul


33) I Could Have Been a Sailor by Peter Allen. Ah, the path not taken! I love this song because it reminds me of my best friend, and the struggle between his secret dreams and his real life.


34) Pleasant Valley Sunday by The Monkees. The scathing portrait of "life in status symbol land" came out when I was living it. I was too young to realize it at the time, but I feel it all now. I had to get out of my parents' hometown and their lifestyle, and this is why. Carole King's song is less ambiguous, less ambitious than Sir Paul's (#31), but also important to me.


35) Nothing Ever Happens by Del Amitri. Another look at soul numbing life choices. These songs resonate with me because of what I saw growing up.

36) Money Changes Everything by Cyndi Lauper. I love when Cyndi rocks. Now, decades after I first heard it, the lyrics proved prophetic: "We think we know what we're doing, but we don't know a thing."

37) Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Diana Ross. If only I could sing, this is how and what I would sing!

38) So Emotional by Whitney Houston. "I don't know why I like it, I just do." and "When you talk, I just watch your mouth." In just a little over four minutes, this song captures exactly how lust feels.

39) A Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin. This is where lust meets love, and it's powerful.


40) I Hear a Symphony by Diana Ross and the Supremes. This is a pure representation of Motown.

41) Silly Love Songs by Wings. This is the merriest "fuck you" in the history of recorded sound. It's Paul justifying his light hits to the critics who preferred John's heavier creative efforts. And Paul, being Paul, made his third finger salute into yet another light and bouncy hit. Don't you just love the horns?


42) Dancing in the Moonlight by King Harvest. Like Earth, Wind and Fire's "September," this song means nothing but good times to me.

43) The Right Thing to Do by Carly Simon. I love the lyrics to this song: "Hold me in your hands like a bunch of flowers, set me moving to your sweetest song ..." There's a grown-up overlay to this romantic fairy tale. "You're with me now and as long as you stay." Carly knows it may not last forever. One of the most credible, adult love songs ever.


44) Daydream Believer by The Monkees. "Cheer up, Sleepy Jean," and "how much, Baby, do we really need?" Davy's vocals sail and I never want this song to end.


45) Shameless by Garth Brooks. Billy Joel may have written it, but Garth hits it out of the park. Unfortunately, I can't give you a link because Garth doesn't allow downloads. So here are my favorite lyrics, about the sweet surrender that comes with love:
I have never let anything have this much control over me
I work too hard to call my life my own
And I've made myself a world and it's worked so perfectly
But it's your world now I can't refuse
I've never had so much to lose
Oh I'm shameless

46) Sweet Blindness by the Fifth Dimension. Another Laura Nyro composition (she also wrote "Stoney End"). Has getting drunk and getting laid ever sounded so wholesome and fun? "Don't let Daddy hear it/he don't believe in the gin mill spirit ..."

47) It's Over by Boz Scaggs. I love how silky Boz makes his frustration sound. If you don't pay attention to the lyrics ("Why can't you just get it through your head? It's over! It's over now!") and just hear the sound, you'd think it's a love song, not a lack of love song.

48) Think by Aretha Franklin. Most people would give this slot to "Respect," but that song is just sooooo over done. That's why I prefer this commonsense plea for personal responsibility.


49) Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin. "Come on, come on, come on, come on, TAKE IT!" Janis practically reaches through the speakers and grabs her man by the throat with urgency. Yes, I agree that the masochism is disturbing. But the Big Brother sound is so distinctive and intense and Janis is so ... Janis. It's compulsively listenable, even if emotionally unhealthy.


50) I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen. Oh, I know this feeling! You know the one: like someone took a knife, edgy and dull and cut a 6" valley through the middle of my skull. And yes, I've woke up with the sheet soaking wet and a freight train running through the middle of my head. There's nothing as intense as wanting, wanting, wanting someone you can't have.

51) Here You Come Again by Dolly Parton. "Lookin' better than a body has a right to." Who would think, to look at Dolly and me, that we had anything in common? And yet we have both found ourselves weak kneed by male pulchritude.

52) Go All the Way by the Raspberries. A ridiculous teenybopper ode to sex. Reminds me of how I thought sex would be back when I was an idealistic virgin. No, really!


53) Don't Do Me Like That by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. I love this song. I don't care what anyone says! For some reason, I have had to defend my affection for this particular cut and I don't know why. I even love the "don't don't don't don't's." Now "Free Fallin'," I can totally see being annoyed by that. But this is great Tom Petty.

54) (Just Like) Starting Over by John Lennon. The first cut of Double Fantasy was so mellow, so friendly, so hopeful. I not only appreciate this as a love song on its own merits, I like thinking this represented how John was feeling about his life.


55) Julie, Do 'Ya Love Me by Bobby Sherman. How I loved this in junior high! And you know what? I still enjoy hearing it. The horns are great fun and the hook is irresistible. And Bobby's vocals are downright adequate. On some songs it's obvious that, let's face it, he couldn't hit a note if it was painted on the side of a barn. (He had such beautiful hair that he didn't have to sing.) But he sounds fine here. And even if I no longer insist my friends call me "Julie," I still love it.

56) Ooooh, Child by The Five Stairsteps. I always loved this song, ever since I was a kid. It has special meaning to me as an adult because it's one of my best friend's favorite songs, too. We quote it to each other when life gets to be a bit much. "Oooh, child, things are gonna be easier ..."


57) You're Gonna Lose that Girl by the Beatles. I just love the harmonies. So much is made of the Lads as composers and innovators that it's easy to forget how well they sang together. Plus this clip reminds me that Sir Paul has a perfectly straight nose. (I love him, you know.)

58) Tupelo Honey by Dusty Springfield. Van the Man wrote this, but I love Dusty's tender, romantic vocal.

59) Rene and Georgette Magritte and Their Dog After the War by Paul Simon. Another of my favorite long songs. I am captivated by the thought of these two, after decades together, after all they saw and shared, still so into each other. And how many love songs feature a dog?


60) You're Sixteen by Ringo Starr. The biggest hit from Ringo's biggest solo album. I have nothing but happy memories associated with this song. And that's quite a trick, since I pretty much hated every freaking moment of high school.

61) One Toke Over the Line by Brewer and Shipley. Like "Sweet Blindness" (#43), this ode to getting impaired features heavenly harmonies.

62) Wouldn't It Be Nice? by The Beach Boys. 99% of the time I loathe the Beach Boys. But then there's this song. "Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true ..." C'mon, how unutterably dear is that?

63) Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu bay Johnny Rivers. Johnny is an underrated vocalist and oh, how I love the piano on this one!


64) Quarter to Three by Gary US Bonds. Bruce Springsteen and I agree that this is one of the great 45s EVER! You can hear Gary's influence on many of Bruce's old-school rockers, and I like going back to the source.

65) Lady Madonna by The Beatles. When I was a kid, this was both scandalous and titillating (pun intended) because Paul sings "breast." But now I love it for so many other reasons. Paul's vocals are fluid and his piano is terrific and his paean to womanhood is sincere and much appreciated by this woman. (Hey! You know this McCartney kid is pretty good. He should stick with the music thing.)
 
66) She's Gone by Hall and Oates. Love can quite a toll on us, can't it? Who among us hasn't considered a deal with the devil, just to undo a breakup?


67) You've Got a Friend by James Taylor. Few relationships are as important as friendships, and yet there aren't that many songs about them. That's part of why this one means so much to me. "Winter, spring, summer and fall -- all you got to do is call." A simple but powerful and timeless message. James' unadorned performance gives it even greater impact.


68) A Hard Day's Night by the Beatles. From the moment you hear that opening chord, you know this is going to be fun. I love the way the boys, John and Paul, trade off on the lead vocals. John, being John, is complaining about how much he works, and how under-appreciated he feels. Paul, being Paul, reports that everything is all right as long as his woman's arms are holding him tight.

69) Mary's Place by Bruce Springsteen. "That black hole on the horizon ..." To me this, song is all about 9/11 and the Twin Towers. It's about the redemptive power of music, how it can mend the broken hearted. "Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up ..." If the music is loud enough and our hearts stay open, we will feel better. We will.

70) One Night a Day by Garth Brooks. Damn you, Garth Brooks, and your aversion to online music sharing! I just want people to hear you sing this exceptional song.
There's not a lot of things to do I wouldn't rather do with you
Guess I'm funny that way …
I'm calling every friend I've had, wake 'em up and make 'em mad
To let them know that I'm OK
I used to sit and talk to you
They're all just a substitute
To get through one night a day
One night a day, one step away
From leaving you behind 


71) Heat Wave by Linda Ronstadt. "Whenever he calls my name, soft, low, sweet and plain ..." I love her rocking vocals and the blistering guitars. "Don't pass up this chance. This time it's a true romance."


72) Tempted by Squeeze. So naughty. So forbidden. So civilized. So veddy, veddy British.

73) I Could Never Miss You by Lulu. Why isn't Lulu a bigger star stateside?


74) Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw? by Jimmy Buffett. It's not high art, but it's fun. I love that the song starts with, "I really do appreciate the fact that you're sitting here." There's something nice about candor.


75) Jump by Van Halen. Eddie and Diamond Dave! Life was so much fun when this song was popular. That organ riff at the beginning is as evocative as there is.


76) Little Red Corvette by Prince. I love everything about this song. I love the sexy sound of it. I love the witty, suggestive lyrics. Prince, like Garth Brooks, doesn't cooperate with online music sharing. So you'll just have to be satisfied remembering how he sounds singing, "Move over, Baby, gimme the keys. I'm gonna try to tame your little red love machine."


77) Stuff Like That There by Bette Midler. The Divine Miss M performs this WWII-vintage number fabulously as if it was written for her. Some prefer the more famous "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," but I love this one. Kelly Clarkson did a good job, too, during that long-ago first Idol season.

78) Get Happy by Judy Garland. The last musical number Garland filmed at MGM is my favorite. She's in great voice, her legs look a mile long, and that hat is the perfect prop for her fidgety hands. Rumor has it Judy's private life was sinking toward a suicidal low around this time (1950). If it's true, then she's an even greater genius than I thought. Whenever anyone asks what the fuss was about Judy Garland, I direct them to this number.

79) Crazy by Patsy Cline. No one sounded quite like Patsy. Her voice moves effortlessly up and down like an oboe. But she was too classy, too controlled, too much the artist to ever let her vocal gymnastics overwhelm the song. Her performance is perfect.

80) More than You Know by Barbra Streisand. This is Babs in Funny Lady, a disappointing movie with a stellar soundtrack. A zillion people have recorded this song, but Streisand's version is best. There's a defiance mixed with her tenderness, and her range is awesome. One of my favorite love songs.

81) Someone to Watch Over Me by Frank Sinatra. This clip is from Young at Heart. It's a corny movie that is beloved by no one but me. Listen to Frank sing. Watch Doris fall in love with him. Like "More than You Know," the song is wonderful and has been covered countless times. But I always come back to Francis Albert's version.


82) Lose Again by Linda Ronstadt. I relate to the vulnerability of these lyrics and the openness with which Linda sings them. "When the heart calls, the mind obeys." Ain't that just the truth?

83) A Nice Dream by Dusty Springfield. This song is the best thing about a clunker of a movie called Kiss Me Goodbye. I recognized my girl Dusty's vocals over the closing credits. It's about that moment when "the future becomes the past." I love it.

84) River by James Taylor. I love this song, all year around. It captures the regret I sometimes (ok ... often) feel when I push things too far.

85) Come In from the Rain by Diana Ross. "Well, hello, good old friend of mine." Beautiful lyrics, knowingly delivered. Whatever he was dealing with, he got through it. And Miss Ross was wisely waiting there, welcoming him with an open door to keep him from the rain.


86) Every Road Leads Back to You by Bette Midler. A love song about friendship, a celebration of shared history. How powerful is that?


87) Heart and Soul by Marcia Ball. My best friend turned me on to Marcia Ball, and this is my favorite cut. It's fun and sexy.

My Heart and Soul


88) I Only Want to Be with You by Dusty Springfield. It's one of her biggest hits, and it belongs on everyone's list of 100 songs.


89) I Can Help by Billy Swan. Isn't the organ fabulous? And I love that lyric -- "It would sure do me good to do you good."

90) Move Over by Janis Joplin. I love her righteous indignation. And Janis is sooo on to him! "I do believe you're toying with my affections, Honey." I never get tired of her.


91) Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight and the Pips. Does anyone not love this song? This is my best friend's signature karaoke song. My uncle loved it, too. When I hear it, it reminds me of those two very dear men.


92) Heaven Is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle. I love the sleepy quality to her voice on this.

93) If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher. Solo Cher. 'Nuff said.


94) The One You Love by Glenn Frey. I lived this song. I gave up the one who loved me to go back to the one I loved. It wasn't a wise move, in retrospect, but as framed by this song, I had no choice.


95) Wedding Bell Blues by The Fifth Dimension. Another Laura Nyro song. I just loved her. I wish more people were familiar with her work. So versatile, so smart. In addition to "Sweet Blindness" and "Stoney End," she wrote Three Dog Nite's "Eli's Coming" and "Celebrate."

96) Just to See Her by Smokey Robinson. What a perfect meld of voice and lyric! When Smokey says he "would do anything" to see her again, I believe him!


97) A Brand New Me by Dusty Springfield. A happy, 60s-era ode to the transformative power of love.


98) Kentucky Rain by Elvis Presley. An old boyfriend used to rib me about my unreasonable affection for this record. "Can you imagine Elvis, in that white jumpsuit and cape and huge belt buckle, hitchhiking through the cold Kentucky rain?" Yeah, whatever. Make fun. I still love it.


99) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper. A party anthem if ever there was one! Girls night out, anyone?


100) The End of the Innocence by Don Henley. These lyrics take my breath away. This song is downright Bruce-worthy! Every time I hear it, it touches me anew.