Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Plaid Hat Meme

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. When showering, do you start the water and then get in, or get in then start the water? Get in and then start.

2. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex? No. Bathed, yes.

3. Were you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings? My sister is a year older than I am, and my mom bathed us together until we wouldn't both fit in the tub together. I hated it.

4. Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot? Something tells me this question is not as it seems ...

5. How old do people say you look? About 40. And I'll take it.

6. How old do you act? Sometimes older than Methuselah, sometimes 16.

7. What’s the last song you sang? "The Locomotion."

8. Have you recently become a member of anything? No.

9. What are your plans for next weekend? Well, I know I'm getting my hair cut. Beyond that, I don't know. It feels like a lifetime away.

10. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed? Depends on who I'm kissing and why.

11. Whats the sexiest thing about Sarah Palin? Levi Johnston

12. Who’s the sexiest famous woman alive? I have no idea. Though many men do seem fond of Pippa Middleton these days.

13. Who’s the sexiest famous man alive? According to PEOPLE magazine, Ryan Reynolds. That cover shot does make me wonder what Scarlett is thinking ...

14. Does your family have a crazy uncle? Yup. Part of why I was obsessed with the Casey Anthony trial is that I found it comforting to see a family wackier than mine.

15. Have you ever smuggled something into another country? No. But if I did, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't confess it here.

16. Do you live in a city with a good sports team? As a loyal Cub fan, I find that question hurtful and offensive.

17. What is the most unusual? Huh?

18. How do feel about the Goth people? They make me wish I got a cut of the eyeliner concession at Sephora.

19. Can you fix or your significant other your own car? I have neither a significant other, nor a car.

20. Would you want to kill Casey Anthony yourself if you were guaranteed to get away with it? Of course not.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Against All Odds

1. Have you ever tried to rekindle a past relationship against the odds? No. When it's over, it's over. Though there is one gentleman I get wistful about from time to time ... sigh ...

2. Do you like your job, or daily routine? I enjoy writing and I like my client. The company I work for? Eh. But yes, I like my job.

3. Do you find time to 'smell the flowers' so to speak? Yes.

4. Do you have any problems thinking of things to write about in my blog? Why would I write in your blog?

5. Do others consider you well organized? Ha! See post below.

6. Do you always have a “Plan B” just in case? Yes. ALWAYS.

7. How do you find yourself adjusting to new situations? Depends on the situation. Professionally I can just roll with it because I'm more confident there. Personally, I'm often a basket case.

8. Are you happy with where you are in this point of your life? Yes.

9. Do you find the aging process we all go through easy or difficult? It's hell.

PS I loooooove this scene. The Dude can be very sexy when he puts his mind to it.

Can I do it?

My oldest friend mentioned coming in for my birthday. And she'd like to stay here. In my sty. Gulp.

This gives me a little more than 90 days to get this hovel in order? Can I do it?

Here's what's in my favor:

1) My oldest friend has clutter issues, too. So I know that she won't judge my finished effort harshly.

2) It has to be done. I'd really like to get new drapes, to have the place painted, to clean my carpets. But there's so much STUFF in the way. So I can keep prodding myself by saying, "It has to be done. It simply has to be done," in order for me to get what I want.

3) I am deadline driven. I have worked on deadline for 30 years. I don't miss them. My clients never suffer, no matter what. I just have to channel that professional energy into my personal life.

If you're a regular visitor, you know all the many, many issues that work against me. It'll just make me sad to list them here.

Wish me luck!

They should come labeled

According to Medichat.com, these are the symptoms of a psychopath. I don't know that it's the most reliable site out there (and I have been helpless to resist correcting some of the more egregious typos), but it has inspired me to think ... how many people are like Casey Anthony, but just haven't been provoked to overt criminality yet? I'm not kidding. My least-favorite ex has 16 of these characteristics, and after encountering him, my life has never been the same.

Since people like this initially appear so normal, even attractive, the least Mother Nature could do is give us a fighting chance by marking them somehow.

1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM -- the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking.

2. GRANDIOSE/SELF-WORTH -- a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONE TO BOREDOM -- an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have a low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING -- can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVE -- the use of deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT -- a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT -- emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY -- a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE -- an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS -- expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR -- a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS -- a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS -- an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

14. IMPULSIVITY -- the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

15. IRRESPONSIBILE -- repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS -- a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY -- behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

19. REVOCATION OF CONDITIONAL RELEASE -- a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY -- a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #131

THE THIRTEEN
MOST POPULAR GIRLS' NAMES
FROM 1961

I like the idea of revisiting America 50 years ago. So for this TT, I am listing the names given most often to baby girls born that year. (Source: Babycenter.com)

1) Mary
2) Lisa
3) Susan
4) Linda
5) Karen
6) Patricia
7) Donna
8) Cynthia
9) Sandra
10)Deborah
11) Brenda
12) Barbara
13) Debra

It does pretty much read like roll call from my childhood PE class.


To find out more about Thursday Thirteen,
and maybe participate yourself, click here.

We're NOT helpless

Naturally I'm upset by the Casey Anthony verdict. Just as I was upset by the Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson verdicts. But I'm not going to slam the jury. Not one of those who deliberated was leaning toward "not guilty" because they grew up dancing to "Thriller" or cheered during that Heismann season.

Nor will I dismiss the defense team as slimeballs. Every one of us is entitled to a zealous defense before a jury of our peers. I watched as much of this trial as I could -- one of the reasons why I support cameras in the courtroom -- and am satisfied that Casey Anthony was treated fairly. That is a good thing, a wonderful thing.

What I'm surprised and disappointed by is all the hand wringing and whining about the jury system. Huh? What? When I'm called for jury duty, just about every person I know teases me about how I'm going to get out of it.

If you're angry about this verdict, or any other one, remember that it was decided by jurors who didn't wriggle out of jury service. Maybe it's because I do go each time I'm called and answer questions honestly that helps me not be as disillusioned as I might be. The system will work if we all participate. Next time you receive a jury summons, try to figure out how to serve rather than how to get out of it.

Tip tips

Who to tip, when to tip, how much to tip ... I'm forever struggling with this! In case it's a conundrum for you, too, here's a cheat sheet from Angie's List.

Movers

Doing the heavy lifting may not require a bonus. "We never expect or ask for a tip," says Mike Atkinson, owner of highly rated Experienced Movers in Pearl, Miss. "We don't want to burden our customers with trying to figure in a tip after we've given them an estimate on the cost of the move."

However, grateful homeowners tend to show their appreciation, regardless. For light moves, offer a $10 to $20 tip per mover. For larger moves, companies say a tip of $20 to $50 is appropriate.

House cleaners

"If customers ask me about tipping, I tell them that it's never required, but would always be appreciated," says Linda Rabenberg, owner of highly rated Linda Rombach Personalized Cleaning in St. Charles, Mo. "We don't expect tips because I pay my employees well and house cleaning is fairly expensive to begin with.

"Almost all our customers leave a Christmas tip or gift," she adds, which might be a box of chocolates or 100 percent of their pay. "During the rest of the year, very few customers tip."

Contractors

If you use a handyman or lawn care professional regularly, give them a $15 to $50 tip once a year - perhaps during the holidays - as a thoughtful "thank you."

Contractors, such as plumbers and electricians, don't expect a tip. However, some Angie's List members feel compelled to reward those who go above and beyond. "I have tipped my plumber," says Friday Hamlet of Box Elder, S.D. "He went out of his way to help me by driving to my home to hook up the water so I could wash clothes. All free of charge!"

Pet sitters/pooper scoopers

Pet sitters and pooper scoopers don't require a tip, but they say it's appreciated. "I've had people give me gift cards for fuel or coffee," says Jim Skirvin, owner of highly rated K-9 Scooper in Fairfield, Ohio. "I certainly don't ask for anything extra, but it's nice." If you regularly use the same one, provide an occasional 15 percent tip or annual gift.

Hair stylists/barbers

Deciding who to tip at salons confounds even the best of us. "Many guests have questions regarding how to tip when there is more than one person helping out," Miller says. "If someone other than the stylist shampoos your hair, that person will always be appreciative of a little extra money."

Stylists say they typically receive a 15 to 20 percent tip, but it varies. "There are clients who always tip and clients who never tip," says Karla Watson, owner of highly rated Flip Hair Salon in Portland, Ore. "Clients shouldn't worry about tipping a certain percentage, but should tip the amount they feel comfortable with."

Taxi/shuttle/limousine

When hiring a bus or limousine service, be sure to check that company's policy on gratuity. Some strictly forbid it, while others build it into the rental price. "We operate under different rules than most transportation outfits," says Kay Smith, manager of highly rated Caledonian Coach Co. in Stafford, Texas, which provides private bus charters and tours. "It varies per region." Typically, the driver receives at least $1 per passenger.

It's customary to tip taxi drivers 15 to 20 percent. If you don't have cash, make sure the driver accepts credit cards.

Manicurists/pedicurists

Most times, the same nail technician will do both your manicure and pedicure and a tip of 10 to 20 percent is appropriate. However, if different people perform individual services, then be sure to split the tip accordingly. "I'd say 95 percent of clients leave a tip," says Laura Puhl, owner of highly rated The Laura Gregory Salon in Columbus, Ohio. "If you can't, you can't - it varies. Some people tip way too much."

Car wash

A full-service car wash - which may include vacuuming, waxing and towel drying - should warrant a $2 to $3 tip for a car, or $3 to $5 for an SUV, truck or van. Many places post a box for tips near the exit, with all tips split between the workers. If there's no box, give a couple bucks to whoever performed final touches after the wash.

For full detailing, consider a 15 percent tip. "I try not to place any expectations on gratuity," says Kenny Ryan, owner of highly-rated Echelon Detailing in Carrollton, Texas. "The services we offer are pretty well covered in the cost. When it does come, it's a bonus."

Massage therapists

Massage therapists at spas often receive a tip of 15 to 20 percent. "It varies from place to place, but most massage therapists work on commission as an employee of the salon or spa," Puhl says of her Columbus salon. "Any extra reward is always appreciated." However, a medical or rehabilitative massage typically doesn't call for gratuities.

Animal grooming

Customers find pet groomers in a variety of settings - from big box stores to mobile grooming vans. If you're especially pleased, tip 15 percent of the bill or $2 per dog. Be sure to offer a little extra for a filthy Fido. "People will leave a larger tip if their dog is difficult," says Jennifer Lavelle, owner of highly rated Kool Dogs Training Academy & Kool Klips Grooming in Brookhaven, Pa. "But I always tell them it doesn't matter if they tip me or not."

I've got to stop watching these trials

So I was wrong about the Casey Anthony verdict. Oh, I still believe she's guilty, beyond a reasonable doubt. But then, I also still believe OJ Simpson and Michael Jackson were guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.*

I should either stop watching these high-profile trials, or accept that they aren't scripted like Law & Order and we won't get a neat resolution by the top of the hour. Otherwise I'll continue going through life with a perpetual, angry WTF look on my face.

* Comparatively speaking, I agree with the jury that they didn't prove Robert Blake was guilty, though I'm sure he did it, too.

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Reflections on a 3-day weekend

I did very little this holiday weekend, and would like more time ... perhaps to do even less?

Saturday was wasted because I was sick. I think it was the alcohol I consumed Friday combined with the big, rich breakfast I had on Saturday morning. (I surmise this because I was fine until about 30 minutes after I finished my eggs benedict. Perhaps Hollandaise is not my friend.)

Sunday was toggling between Cubs baseball and the Casey Anthony trial. (The Cubs won against the White Sox, yea!) I squeezed in a little cardio and felt very proud.

Today was toggling between Cubs baseball and the Casey Anthony trial. (The Cubs lost in extra innings to the Nationals, boo!) I had a full workout, did three loads of wash and made my way to Bed, Bath & Beyond to buy a new Roomba and a firm new pillow. (Very excited about the new pillow; slipped it into a freshly laundered pillow protector and case.)

I wish I had gotten more done around the house, but don't I always? I am very content and don't really feel like going in to work tomorrow.

Fifty Julys ago

Let's set the Wayback Machine for July, 1961 and join the Kennedys for one of their earliest official entertainments. It isn't being held in the White House because the First Couple wants to highlight America's pride in our history. Instead the location is Mount Vernon, the home of George Washington.

Pakistani President Mohammed Ayeb Khan and his daughter, Begum Nasir Akhtar Aurangzeb, join the President and First Lady for a revolutionary war re-enactment,* followed by mint juleps on the lawn. Then they all retired inside for the state dinner, which is a good thing, as the mosquitoes were particularly tenacious that humid summer night.

PS Just to be clear, this was a formal state dinner, with the re-enactment treated as entertainment, just as when the Kennedys invited Pablo Casals to play or the Obamas presented an all-star jazz combo. The top photo and the one on the right are the military demonstration. The other two photos are of the two couples posing for official photos and waiting for their pre-dinner mint juleps on the lawn.

I think this idea completely rocked, I don't know why no First Couple has done it before or since, and it's an elegant way to honor George Washington on the 4th of July.


*The soldiers fired blanks not at "the red coats" but at the Washington press corps., who thought it was funny. The media let JFK get away with things his successors could only dream of.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Faceless 4th of July Meme

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Last movie you saw in a theater? Bad Teacher. It dragged at times but still, it was pretty funny.

2. What book are you reading? My Spanish text book. It's slow going.

3. Favorite board game? Monopoly.

4. Favorite magazine? Allure.

5. Favorite smells? Apples and cinnamon

6. Favorite sounds? A cat's purr, the crack of the bat

7. Worst feeling in the world? Helplessness

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? "Do I have to go to work today?"

9. Favorite fast food place? Five Guys

10. What’s under your bed? The Boogie Man

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….? Go to Wrigley Field whenever weather permits

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No, but I generally have this one sleeping nearby

13. Storms – cool or scary? Neither. Don't care much either way.
14. Favorite drink? Coke

15. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”? Get more sleep

16. If you had to dye your hair another color, what would be your choice? I used Nice & Easy #107 for years

17. Favorite place to relax? My sofa

18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in? There are just two, which makes it a boring list. I'll spare ya.

19. Favorite sports to watch? Cubs baseball, of course!

20. Would you like to be born as yourself again? Maybe I could do better next time.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Take Me Back

1. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back? Yes. He was my great love. Unfortunately, I doubt I was his.

2. If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would you be wearing? By the time I answered the door, my robe (before noon), or jeans and a t-shirt.

3. What's your favorite shirt? My blue t-shirt that depicts 5 turtles making their way across the front.

4. Have you ever been on your school's track team? No. I won a foot race in PE class once, though.

5. Do you own a pair of Converse? No. I'm partial to Avia.

6. Where are you at right now? My sofa.

7. Do you eat raw cookie dough? I don't often come in contact with raw cookie dough.

8. Don't you hate when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? You mean like Cee Lo's "Fuck You?"

9. Do you watch the news? Constantly. I'm a news junkie.

Home by 10:00!

Tonight John and I celebrated his birthday. It was a subdued affair, as befits a man who has suffered serious health problems over the last seven months or so.

We went to The Fireplace Inn for some fantastic barbecue. I had ribs, he had chicken, and we were both happy with our choices. And I know I drank too much. (Who ordered all that vodka?)

This is a restaurant he loves and that we have seen change a great deal over the years. In the 1980s it was very much a steak house, with dark paneling and soft jazz and subdued voices. Now it's more of a sports bar (fine by me, I like looking up and seeing the Cubs coming at me from each wall). The menu has stayed mostly the same, and we're glad of that. We're fans of their mild, smoky barbecue sauce. We were seated in odd little alcove, barely large enough for two, upstairs. Later I realized we were dining where they used to display the Christmas tree! At least they didn't hang lights or ornaments off of us.

It was the perfect setting for our impromptu reflections on our friendship. John told me that he appreciates how there's "no drama" in getting together with me. I never forget a birthday, I don't take his schedule for granted, and if he invites a friend to join us I don't bitch about it. He says that the older we get (and we have been friends for 30 years now), the more he appreciates how comfortable it always is with me.

And I told him that birthdays are the one day a year reserved especially for telling people how much they mean to us. I told him we have 30 years of shared history and that deserves to be honored. People come and go from our lives. 30 years ... wow.

On a separate note, I'm happy to report how much healthier he looks than the last time I posted about him in March. He no longer needs a cane and he's lost that white beard. Hurray! Even so, we were home by 10:00. We're older now. Back in the day, we were just hitting our stride at 10:00 and knew where to go for hearty, greasy breakfast food after 2:00 when the bars closed.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #130

MY THIRTEEN FAVORITE PAUL McCARTNEY SONGS

This is Paul McCartney's birthday month, and I'm celebrating by devoting each of my June TT's to his life and his career.

This final week, is all about the music. His music. You won't see "Yesterday" or "Hey, Jude" here because, even though they are undoubtedly his ultimate fan favorites, for me they have been so overplayed.

I'm no music expert, just a fan who's heard his voice almost about every day of my life since February 1964, and here are my favorites, the ones that are the most relevant to my own life. (It must be wonderful to be him -- knowing your work has brought so much joy to so many.)


13) MAYBE I'M AMAZED. This one is slipping into that overdone category, but I still love it for the its diffidence. Falling in love is scary. "Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you." (McCartney)

12) FINE LINE. My favorite of his more recent work. "There's a fine line between recklessness and courage ... There's a long way between chaos and creation ... " He's both facing forward and looking back, sharing what he's learned about life and your life's work. (Chaos and Creation in the Backyard)





11) LADY MADONNA. Love the sax solo. Love the honky-tonk piano. Love the message about how hard it can be to be a woman. (Very progressive for 1968!) Most of all, it was thrilling because Paul actually sings the word, "breast." Give me a break. I was just 10. (Hey, Jude)

10) NO MORE LONELY NIGHTS. From the soundtrack of a truly execrable movie. (Sorry, my liege. I love you and all, but I want those 90 minutes of my life back.) Still, taken on its own, it's both majestic and dear, capturing how I feel when I'm in love. "I can't wait another day until I call you ..." (Give My Regards to Broad Street)

9) GOOD DAY, SUNSHINE. It makes me happy. It also makes me want to make out with a cute guy on a picnic blanket. Oh, I'm sorry, was that TMI? (Revolver)

8) SILLY LOVE SONGS. "Here I go a-gain!" The most melodic "fuck you" to critics ever. Really, listen to the lyrics and you'll hear they're more than a little defensive about how lightweight his solo career was in comparison to John's more socially relevant work. But he got the last laugh because it sold like a gazillion copies. The middle riff with the Tower of Power horn section always makes me happy. (At the Speed of Sound)

7) BACK IN THE USSR. I love the sound of it, from the jet landing to the final fade. "The Ukraine girls really knock me out ... Moscow girls make me scream and shout ... Let me hear your balalaikas ringing out, come and keep your comrade warm." Those lyrics are surprisingly witty when you compare them to the Beach Boys' "California Girls." (The White Album)

6) FOR NO ONE. "The day breaks, your mind aches ..." Break ups suck. This song has a weary tone, capturing how the hurt beats on your heart with the relentlessness of a metronome. (Revolver)

5) PENNY LANE. A perfect slice of life lived under "blue suburban skies." I got such a kick out of Michael Buble's homage to the horn solo in his "Haven't Met You Yet." (Magical Mystery Tour)

4) MY BRAVE FACE. I love the juxtaposition of the joyous melody with the sad lyrics about how much courage it takes to just get on with it when your heart is broken. "Simplest things set me off again and take me to that place where I can't find my brave face ..." (Flowers in the Dirt)



3) TWO OF US. "You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches on ahead." Immortalized as one of the last times he performed live with John, it's hard not to think how true lyrics are about his boyhood friend and songwriting partner, who'd be murdered little more than ten years later. Later they packed an emotional punch as The Lovely Linda battled cancer. Today, I think of it in regards to me and my mom, or me and my own friend John, both of whom have had health problems. It reminds me to appreciate time as time runs short. (Let It Be)

2) I WILL. "Who knows how long I've loved you? I know I love you still. Shall I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to, I will." The perfect love song to the lover you haven't met yet. (The White Album)

1) ALL MY LOVING. For me, this is the one that started it all. While this clip isn't from the Lads' 1964 debut appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, it's that vintage. When I first saw his face as he sang, "Close your eyes and I'll kiss you/tomorrow I'll miss you/remember I'll always be true ..." I said to my mom, "He's so pretty it hurts." It was romance as even a little girl could envision it. My idea of Prince Charming come to life. Yes, it's corny. But it's tattooed on my soul. (Meet the Beatles)

Damn! It was hard to limit myself to just thirteen!

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen,
and maybe participate yourself, click here.

Guilty as charged

Yes, I swiped this meme from Kwizgiver!

I am... he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. In other words, I am a Beatle fan. Goo-goo-g'joob.

I want... the holiday weekend to get here already!

I have... a real Hofbrauhaus Haus mug filled with quarters I can use in the laundry room.

I wish... my oldest friend would get her life together.

I hate... space hogs who take up the bench in the locker room for their water bottles, iPods, etc.

I fear... airplane travel. ICK!

I hear... the hum of the air conditioner

I search... on Google every day (Kwizgiver's answer; it's good)

I wonder... if ever I'll get another raise

I regret... very little

I love... learning new things. O me gusta aprender español.

I never... intentionally hurt a cat.

I ache... when I think of homeless pets.

I always... remember birthdays.

I usually... spend too long in the tub each morning.

I am not... very graceful

I dance... badly.

I sing... even worse

I sometimes... get lost in my fantasies

I cry... at the end of Old Yeller

I am not always... in control, which bugs the crap out of me

I lose... pens all the time

I am confused... by why the Cubs' Ryan Dempster doesn't have a better record this season

I need... more discipline

I should... back away from the keyboard and exercise

I Want Wednesday

I want to remember how I got this big, ugly bruise. It really is rather massive, yet it causes me little discomfort. (I know because I poke at it.) Still, how could I hit something this hard and not notice it? And how did the photo get flipped?

¡Mi vida es un misterio¡

Not what I expected, but that's OK

I have always loved Robert Redford. Partly because in the 1970s, when I came of age, he was so perfect and so prevalent. More enduringly because his career has stood for something. His serious films are genuinely thought-provoking and his even his light "popcorn movies" come with a message. Not all of his movies have been successful, but they have all been quality. His choices are interesting, including his decision to keep his private life private.

So I was eager to read the first in-depth biography of his life. And it's not what you'd think.

He's auto didactic and passionate about the world around him in a big, big way. He learns it and he wants to share it. That's where his heart is. It can be about conservation, producing, acting or directing. Horses or motorcycles or cars. He was like that as a child with sports and travel and remains like that today.

He's also more complicated and more stubborn than I ever would have suspected. His first marriage to wife Lola, a union that lasted 26 years and was held up as an ideal, really began unraveling much earlier than the public suspected. Yet it wasn't because of infidelity or the temptations that accompanied his superstar status -- at least not the conventional ones we see on TMZ, like drugs and parties.

It was opportunity and adventure that took him away from home. And during those absences, his wife -- a teenager when they met -- grew up and away from him. She went from being a supportive satellite/anchor to the sophisticated woman who dealt with family issues on her own when he was away. She also became an environmentalist in her own right. He had a difficult time adapting to this -- a loner to the core and, as he admits, unable to resist rebellion and competition, even with the wife he loved and needed. They separated, they recommitted, they tried therapy. She finally chose to continue her education on the east coast, as far away from Utah and Hollywood as she could get. She was sending a message not lost on him. And it was sad.

There's a treasure trove of tales about his professional and personal relationships with Sydney Pollack, Paul Newman, William Goldman and Alan J. Pakula. They were all honest about his strengths (intelligence, nuance) and weaknesses (self-centered much?). He was also refreshingly honest about how bad he is with money. No, don't worry -- no one needs to have a car wash to support the Sundance Kid. But his business endeavors were all ambitious and mostly unsuccessful.

His is a compelling story -- fascinating and a little sad. I'm glad I read it.

My day off

I took today off and spent it in court: watching the Casey Anthony trial until the Blagojevich verdict came in. I also picked up my contact lenses, bought a very nice card to go along with my friend John's birthday present, went to the health club for some early evening cardio, and (uh-oh) stopped at Trader Joe's for some fruit and vegetables ... and cinnamon crumb cake. My downfall! I really have to avoid having anything like that in the house.

Movie Monday

Epic Battle Scenes... Share those battle scenes that are so epic, they make you stop everything to watch. Link back here to the Bumbles.

This one is tough for me, because I'm not a big fan of war movies. So I'm throwing myself on the mercy of The Bumbles and bending the rules a bit to show an epic scene regarding the aftermath of battle.

In Gone with the Wind, Melanie goes into labor at the worst possible time, as Sherman relentlessly heads toward Atlanta, leaving carnage in his wake. As Scarlett frantically searches for Dr. Meade at the Atlanta train station, she has to pick up her skirts to avoid smothering the soldiers she steps over. It's an amazing scene visually -- opening tight on Scarlett and then pulling back and back, revealing more and more dead and dying boys and young men. Until there are nothing but bodies for as far as the eye can see.

Now I'm not only a Northerner but also a proud native of The Land of Lincoln, so the romance of the South and her "cause" has always been lost on me. Secession and slavery hold no nobility for this Gal. And yet this scene still packs an emotional wallop. War is a sad, ugly, painful, profane business. A heartbreaking tragedy for both sides.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Seriously Random Question Meme, Part 3 (The Final Edition)

Cheers to all of us thieves!

41. Who was the last person you went shopping with? A coworker

42. What is something you need to go shopping for? My favorite Body Shop Vitamin C capsules

43. Do you have the same first name as one of your relatives? Nope

44. What kind of car do (did) your parents drive? My dad was very partial to Ford

45. Are you rich? No

46. If you could spend one intimate night with a celebrity, no questions asked, never to see them again, who would it be? Bruce Springsteen

48. What famous person do you look like? Feel free to use this facial match program by clicking here. Show us at least the celeb photo. They got the coloring right.

49. What is the most daring thing you've done recently? Nothing comes to mind

50. Say you were given a pregnancy test right now. Would you pass or fail? I'm 53. What do you think?

51. Which sex scandal of the last decade bothers you the most? John Edwards.

52. Do you know anyone in jail/prison? No.

53. What are your plans (or what have you done) for this weekend? Had a completely wonderful time at a barbecue with friends. Me gusto la sangría y hamburguesas y conversacion.

54. Have you ever woken up and not known where you were? No.

55. What were you doing at midnight last night?? I dozed off on the sofa and was very pissed off at myself.

56. Last restaurant you went to? Delia's for breakfast.

57. How many hours did you sleep for last night? About nine.

58. Which is more distracting: Sexting while driving or sex while driving? I don't drive. But, as a pedestrian, I find the thought of you doing either one behind the wheel quite disturbing.

59. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? I hope so.

60. Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? Yes

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Make You Feel My Love

1. What has someone done unusual to make you feel their love? Well, we weren't in love, exactly, but I remember distinctly an unusual (but lovely) something a lover did once in bed to show me how dedicated he was to making the experience good for me, too. I'd tell you what it was, but this isn't WTIT.

2. Do you own a smart phone? If yes, is it everything you wanted? If no, how seriously have you considered a purchase of the new smart phone? No smart phone yet. I'm waiting for my provider to offer me one at a reduced price. I try not to pay much for my phones.

3. Have you ever camped out to purchase something? No

4. What is your worst habit? I'm a slob

5. What is your best habit? I return (most) calls and emails promptly

6. In your opinion, what is life's greatest mystery? We all face hardship and tragedy: why do some people prevail and others go under? Secondarily, why are left-handed relief pitchers so rare?

7. Are you one of those people who is constantly busy with projects, social outings, etc. or do you just like to lay low and stay home? I looooooove my alone time

8. Whether you're busy all the time or like to just chill, have you always been that way? I've always been this way.

9. Is there something you'd like to change about how you spend your time? If so, what is it? If not, why not? I'd like to be more sincerely motivated to stay neat and uncluttered.

Vroom! Vroom!

Where's all this energy coming from? Got off work early yesterday and, after watching the Casey Anthony trial (I admit I'm hooked), I did grocery shopping ... and three loads of laundry ... and walked over to Bed, Bath and Beyond to put the finishing touches on my friend's John birthday present and pick up replacement curtain rods.

I think it's because I'm weaning myself off Lexapro. The anti-depressant was, at one time, a godsend for me. One of the values of this blog is I can look back on who I was, and how much I once hurt. Once I began taking anti-depressants, I was able to pack my emotional baggage and move away from The Stoney End, so I'd never diss taking meds.

But that was nearly four years (and tons of weight) ago. My body has adjusted, at least emotionally, to the new hormones levels. So it's time to move on.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #129

THIRTEEN SONGS
PAUL MCCARTNEY OWNS

This is Paul McCartney's birthday month, and I'm celebrating by devoting each of my June TT's to his life and his career.

Following the long and winding road to Sir Paul losing the publishing rights of the Beatles catalog in 1985 pisses me off, so we're blowing past that.

Instead, here are 13 other familiar songs Paul McCartney owns. It helps explain how he became so damn rich.


1) 76 Trombones from The Music Man

2) A Good Man Is Hard to Find by Bessie Smith

3) Greased Lightening from Grease

4) Hello, Dolly

5) I Won't Grow Up from Peter Pan

6) Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee from Grease

7) One from A Chorus Line

8) Summer Loving from Grease

9) That'll Be the Day by Buddy Holly

10) The Man that Got Away from A Star Is Born

11) Tomorrow from Annie

12) We Need a Little Christmas

13) What I Did for Love from A Chorus Line

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen,
and maybe participate yourself, click here.

Naturally I am the sun

The center of my own universe. And lately I've been finding it a little hard to shine because all the planets revolving around me seem more than a little blue.

Ed's daughter is back in the hospital. Her fever spiked and they admitted her. He says he's taking it in stride, but I'm not so sure. She'd enjoyed more than two full months of good health and he was beginning to hope.

My oldest friend hasn't really drawn a single happy breath since moving to Beverly Hills. She has no friends out there, hasn't been to work in six months due to an injury, and her son ... well ... and her daughter ... well ... She has her heart set on this new job and consequently a new home 90 minutes north of Los Angeles, up in the mountains. I worry that she won't get this job -- her home here in Chicagoland was foreclosed upon, and prospective employers can access and judge you by that kind of information, and I doubt the hospital she works for currently will give her a very positive recommendation -- and her heart will break. She can't withstand much more heartbreak.

My best friend's dog died. For someone who always told me throughout her long illness that he'd be OK when the day finally came, he's very sad. It could be that he lets himself feel bad with me because he knows I'll understand. But still, I hate him hurting.

My friend, The Daddy's Girl, lost her daddy. I know she's blissfully happy with her hubby and I realize that having him beside her makes it easier. But nothing will make it easy.

At least my friend, El Professor, seems to be feeling a bit more chipper these days. I don't know the details of his job search or his finances because he doesn't bring them up. But he's being communicative, that's what's important to me. If he's satisfied exhausting the Weiner scandal or encouraging me in my successful quest to see Sir Paul, I'm satisfied, too. It's nice to have one to mark off the list!

Sometimes, when I'm wrestling with my new Spanish or enjoying working on a particular project or hugging one of my fantabulous felines or seeing a little progress in my battle to get healthy, I feel almost guilty. I mean, it's hard to be a bright, shiny sun with so many unhappy planets in my orbit!

Image: nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I Want Wednesday

I want less homelessness! I always have dimes and nickels in my pocket so that I don't have to stop and take out my wallet to help the homeless. Today it didn't get me to and from lunch. I helped three people, but had to pass two more. I felt bad because I can't tell who really needs help most. The faces of the two people that I passed will stay with me all day now.

So I don't really believe the economy is improving. Every corner wouldn't have a person holding a cup if it was. And this makes me so sad.

She was a good girl. Oh yes, she was!

Gumbo, that is. My best friend's dog. She died last week when they were on vacation.

It was her time. She was 15, old for a border collie. She'd been suffering mightily with allergies and arthritis for the last three years. And she went peacefully. Since they discovered she didn't do well in kennels, when they had to leave her she stayed with friends. Shortly after they left, Gumbo stopped eating and her good-hearted caretakers took her to a vet, who advised it was hopeless, and their most humane choices were to either put her down then or to keep her on fluids until her people returned home to say goodbye. Wisely, my friend chose the former. It was easier on both Gumbo and his daughters that way.

And how Gumbo loved those girls! She preceded the oldest by a little more than a year and consequently was very, very possessive of them. She wore out the grass along the fence surrounding their backyard, where she ran circles, "guarding the perimeter" while they played. She whined about not being allowed to join her girls -- at least not until the freshly refinished floors could withstand the clicking of her claws. She was so forlorn that they fastened socks to her paws so she could slip and slide her way alongside them.

Even though he has always insisted that he "doesn't love animals" the way I do, he seems pretty freaking forlorn himself. He told me about Gumbo's harrowing battle with distemper as a very young pup, newly adopted from a shelter, and asked me how long it would be until he remembers not to look for her when he enters a room.

That's the greatest honor that can be bestowed upon Gumbo -- acknowledging the huge hole she leaves in their lives.

Movie Monday

Depressing Movies...Share on your blog movies that make you go totally bummed out and link back here to the Bumbles.

At the top of my list is Inglorious Basterds. Yes, I laughed during certain parts. But I hated what I was laughing at, and the behavior I was cheering. Even more, I hated being surrounded by a theater full of movie goers who got off on the violence but I doubt gave a moment's thought to the relative morality Tarantino was shining a light on. So while I enjoyed it while it was going on, I never want to see it again.

And then there's Babel, another movie starring Brad Pitt. Now I'm not making this up: There's a character in that movie, a Chinese teenager, who is deaf… and mute …and depressed … over her mother's suicide …and plays on losing sports team … and she's convinced she's the last virgin on her losing sports team. SHE EVEN HAS CAVITIES! At least they didn't show her cat being run over by a car. Guess they're saving that for Babel 2.

And if I can go back our depressing Nazi friends for a moment (because who can give us pause and question or own humanity more than Nazis?) there are, of course, Schindler's List and Sophie's Choice -- two exceptional but incredibly wrenching movies. As they should be. But now that I've seen them once, I have no interest in seeing them again.

I've just gotten to the part about professions

Soy escritora. Mi mejor amigo es hombre de negocios. Monica es artista.

Spanish remains slow going for me, but I won't give up!

Rough time to be a Daddy's Girl

My friend Barb's dad died Friday night. It's easy for me to say that it was a blessing, as he was in great pain since his cancer metastasized, and since Barb had to shuttle between her high-stress job and hospice to spend her last moments with him and she simply couldn't go on this way much longer. But I'm not Barb, I'm merely her friend.

For Barb is a Daddy's Girl, so her sense of loss is incalculable, and I'm certain she'd rather have one more day with him. I could tell she wrote his obituary herself -- mentioning his dedication to family, his sense of humor and his sincerity.

What makes this worse is that he died Friday night, today (Sunday) is Father's Day and Tuesday is her 55th birthday. How does a Daddy's Girl get through her first Father's Day and birthday without her Daddy?

Oh, I've sent a dish garden to her house, a card to the funeral home and (as requested in the obit) a donation to the food pantry. And I know those things will remind her that she's in my thoughts. But they really won't help, will they? The only way to get through something like this is to simply ... get through it.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Seriously Random Question Meme, Part 2

Cheers to all of us thieves!

21. Have you ever had a garage sale? No. I don't have a garage.

22. What color is your cell phone? Black

23. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? Beer

24. Are you happy right now? Yes

25. Who came over to your house last? My neighbor from across the hall

26. Do you drink beer? See #23

27. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? No

28. What is your favorite key on your key chain? My mailbox key; I like its size and color

29. What was the last movie you watched at home? An Unfinished Life

30. What is in your pocket? Chapstick, tissue, and 40¢

31. Who introduced you to your bf/gf/husband/wife? I haven't met him yet

32. Where do you hurt? I don't

33. Has someone ever made you a build a bear? No

34. What’s something fun you did today? Watched the Cubs/Yankees and saw Bridesmaids

35. What is your favorite aisle at Target? Lotions and creams and moisturizers

36. When is your birthday? November 22

37. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? I don't have a car

38. How many states in the US have you been to? 18

39. What kind of milk do you drink? Skim or 2%

40. What are you going to do after this? Adjust the AC; it's getting a little warm in here

It was fun

Bridesmaids is not high art. But it is very, very funny. More vulgar than your typical "chick flick," and yet still very good hearted.

I wasn't aware Jon Hamm has a small but important role. He plays a guy who is such a creep even Don Draper would be appalled, but even he's funny. And now I have this running through my head.

Hey, hey, holy mackerel, no doubt about it!

The Cubs are on their way!

The lowly Cubs welcome the high-and-mighty Yankees to the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field* and yesterday, kicked their butts. Today the teams are tied in the bottom of the 4th. Since Vince Vaughn is going to sing the stretch, I am confident he will bring the home team luck.

I've always liked former Cubs catcher/current Yankee manager Joe Girardi, and I'm really enjoying these games.

* To the ESPN writer who called Wrigley Field "a dump": Fuck you.

I WAS in a good mood

I'm watching an episode of Gidget from 1965. This show usually makes me happy because I enjoy Gidget's relationship with her warm and wise father. Sally Field played Gidget while Don Porter played her dad.

In 1965, this staid senior citizen was the same age I am today. Gulp.