These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Has a movie ever put you to sleep? Share the ones that have caused you to doze off, linking back here at The Bumbles.
Devil in a Blue Dress, starring Denzel Washington. I have no idea what it was about. None. As soon as the lights went down, I fell asleep. It was me, not Denzel. We saw it at a second run movie house, very close to Christmas. We'd been Christmas shopping all day and then had dinner -- with drinks -- and settling into that theater seat was the warmest and stillest I'd been in hours, maybe even days, and ... zzzzzz
I hear it was very good, and I feel I owe it to Denzel to watch it all the way through, start to finish, someday.
I find myself hypnotized by the Law & Order: SVU "More than Partners" Marathon on the USA Network. I realize that spending hour after hour watching episodes about violent sex crimes isn't very holly jolly. On the other hand, I love watching Olivia and Elliott. Or rather, I prefer watching Olivia and Elliott watch one another. Their unconsummated love is the lotus that grows in the mud (and drek) of their gritty job.
Do you buy holiday gifts for your pets? Not for my own, but for other peoples'. Quality kibble can be expensive, my brother-in-law spent a few months out of work this year, and they have two cats and a turtle. So there will be cat food and a kiwi under the tree for their pets this year.
No need to feel bad for my cats. Every day is Christmas for those pampered babies!
26. Whose responses to Stealing do you want to read the most? Bud's. I'm a sucker for non-Google-endorsed, objectionable content.
27. What color shirt are you wearing? Green with a narrow, cream-colored stripe.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I don't know, as I don't believe I've ever done it.
29. Can you whistle? No. And I wish I could. 30. Favorite colors(s)? Cubbie blue. Especially now that Kerry Wood is back!
31. Could you be a pirate? Dunno. What's Pittsburgh like in summer?
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? I sing along with radio. Tunelessly. Most recently I butchered classic Rod Stewart: "I laughed at all of your jokes, my love you didn't need to coax ..."
33. Favorite girls name? Emma or Chloe.
34. Favorite boy’s name? Michael
35. What’s in your pocket right now? Chapstick
36. Last thing that made you laugh? Watching my massive cat Joey try to tuck himself into a small space. I don't think he has any idea how big he is.
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Decorated with Peanuts characters
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I broke my left little finger. (Don't laugh. It hurt!)
39. Do you love where you live? Yes.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? How many HDTVs? Two. None.
41. Who is your loudest friend? Carlos.
42. How many dogs do you have? No real ones. But I do have a plush Ren doll. Does that count?
43. Does anyone have a crush on you? Yes.
44. What are the most fun things you ever did? The first things that come to mind are special moments with my best and oldest friends.
45. What are your favorite books? See the bar at right.
47. Favorite Team? You don't come here often, do you?
48. What songs do you want played at your funeral? "Let It Be."
49. What were you doing at 12 AM? Snoring
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? "What day is it?"
Liberated from Endomental ... What's the favorite gift you ever gave? An American Indian rag doll, similar to this one. I rescued her from a bin at the local grocery store, and she cost me less than $10. I donated her to a toy drive, so I have no idea where she ultimately ended up. This happened years ago (during the Disney Pocahontas craze), yet somehow this little doll has stayed with me. When I think of her looking somehow forlorn in that wire barrel at the grocery store, I have often hoped that both she and the girl who received her found happiness together.
1. How's it gonna be in 2011 for you? Hope springs eternal. As I wrote going into 2008 (and, probably, 2009 and 2010), I resolve to "lose weight and organize my home."
2. What is your idea of a perfect romantic evening? It must include what Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) memorably referred to as, "long, slow, deep, soft kisses that last three days."
3. What strategy would you implement to deal with drug abuse in today's world? I'd legalize pot so those who sell it to minors could be singled out and prosecuted, as with cigarettes. I'd also pour more attention and energy into creating more green jobs and rebuilding our nation's infrastructure so that there are reliable, long-term jobs available for non-skilled laborers (the way we used to have factory work). With respectable employment at a livable wage for those without higher education, there would be less despair and citizens would be less likely to turn to drugs -- both using and selling.
4. What thing about your family are you least proud of? Nothing. It's all perfect, we're all perfect. (Actually, to those who are familiar with Ordinary People, sometimes I feel like a Conrad in a family of Beths.)
5. What part of the holidays are you really looking forward to? Watching my niece and nephew open their gifts.
6. Who is the last person you high-fived? Why? My friend's 14-year-old daughter. She thought it was awesome that I have slapped the hood of a car that came too close to me in the cross walk. She was only impressed because she's too young to have seen Midnight Cowboy.
7. Have you ever made out at a drive-in? No. Last time I was at a drive in I was still too young to date.
8. If you had only enough energy left in you for one last smile, who would you give it to? I hope I'd reserve it for something authentic and genuine, not one of my reflexive "just to be polite" smiles, like when I hold the elevator for someone.
9. Tell us about that time when you were the “life of the party.” Friday we had a department lunch and I helped keep the conversation going.
Is your tree real or artificial? It's artificial -- flocked white and only 4" tall.
It's not the only Christmas decoration in this office. In addition to bows and a stocking and a Santa, a Snowman and a Little Drummer Teddy Bear, I have Christmas Dog. I have been displaying this plucky little fella, purchased at Woolworth's back when there was Woolworth's, every year since 1986.
Thanks to Pandora.com, I always have carols on, too. Right now it's "Hark, The Herald Angels Sing."
Something really icky happened yesterday. I can't post about it right now, because I am strenuously channeling my inner Jackie and keep repeating the mantra, "Just put on your sunglasses and keep on going."
But instead of indulging in the bad, let's take a moment to exult in the good. Last night my oldest friend was really there for me. Talking me down, chatting me up, making me laugh. She may not make the wisest decisions about her own life, but you gotta give it to her: she's there when I need her. I told her twice how much I appreciated it last night, and I hope she heard me.
My best friend is a foodie, so we went to a very nice restaurant in the cool, foodie part of town. The service was excellent and the meal was almost as tasty as it was pretty. We were having a wonderful time ... and then he came back from the restroom.
"Good thing all I had to do is pee," said he. Since I know nothing of mens rooms, and since he is not known to share details of his output, I was confused by this comment. He went on to explain that the mens room stall was being used by a heterosexual couple who were ... coupling. He said the woman -- who was wearing tooled boots -- was rather pretty bossy.
As we were discussing it, the busboy came by and apologized for the mens room as he refilled our water glasses. This is not the kind of place where things like this frequently occur.
To tweak my bud, whose oldest girl is in 8th grade, I said, "You know that woman is someone's daughter."
"No, Gal," he replied, watching the couple emerge from the restroom area, "she's someone's mother." She was easily 45, short and stout. He also had 40 in his rear view mirror and sported a droopy mustache. The last couple you'd imagine to be swept away by passion into semi-public sex in a bathroom stall.
Then I caught a cab home. The most amazing cab I have ever seen. Turns out it's something of a Chicago legend! Here's a video. Ride along with me, won't you?
Which of your Christmas gifts is traveling farthest? A Better Homes & Gardens decorating book for my cousin Rose is about to cover 1,184 miles to reach Pinellas Park, FL. I'm mailing it this afternoon.
My best friend gave me a digital frame for my birthday and, to get me into the Christmas spirit, a bag full of holiday gifties -- candy dish and chocolates and scented candles and this gentleman. I know HE thinks the frame was most important gift, but this sturdy yet intricately painted Santa is my favorite. I know just what to do with Saint Nick. If you look closely, you can see my grandmother's ring nestled in the belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly.
We had a great dinner and my friend loved the framed poster I gave him. He really isn't enjoying his job but I enjoyed hearing about his daughters (he's such a good dad) and this morning I am happy.
When I was growing up, I heard "try not to fight with your sister" a lot. So there must be something to that. Santa is totally into this stuff, as well:
If you get too much change at the cash register, give it back. Keep your germs to yourself -- sneeze into a tissue or sleeve.
Say "thank you" to store clerks, bus drivers and food service staff.
I want my best friend to enjoy his gift. I'm presenting it to him tonight and I'm so excited. It's my favorite gift this year -- a handbill from perhaps a decade ago, commemorating the night his favorite singer performed at a bar in his new neighborhood. I had it framed and hope it will look great in his office.
For the last year or so, my oldest friend has wanted desperately to live in Southern California. Her closest living blood relative, her cousin, lives in Hesperia, CA, in the Mojave Desert. She longed to be in the sunshine, the warmth of family, to help her cousin deal with an aging spouse and have her cousin help her with her own troubled daughter.
For reasons I never quite understood, she interviewed over and over again at UCLA Medical Center. Yes, that's where the jobs currently are and yes, it was flattering for her to have a world-class hospital want her so badly as one of their administrators, but there were some things that bothered me.
1) Hesperia is 90 miles and at least 90 minutes away from Beverly Hills, where she's living. So no way could she just drop in on her cousin or drop her daughter off there.
2) The housing market here in Chicagoland is seriously depressed. Combine that with the fact that a few years ago my friend unwisely refinanced into another 30 year mortgage and has no equity in her home, and you have a problem.
3) Her daughter is a handful, and it seemed unwise and unfair to have the girl start high school here in Chicagoland and then, after a month, move her 2000 miles away and put her in Beverly Hills High.
4) While the hospital was willing to give her a big raise, they were inflexible about reimbursing her for moving costs or helping her with temporary housing.
And yet, she took the job. My oldest friend wanted out of Chicago so badly, hated the thought of (I'm not kidding) snow and cold so much, that she took the job at UCLA.
Even though I wanted her to wait until the housing market improved so she could at least get something for her house and move at the end of a school year so her daughter would have time to make friends and get acclimated before classes started closer to Hesperia, I swallowed my concerns and concentrated on helping her get out there. That's what friends do. And besides, it's not impossible I was wrong. I'm often wrong -- as you regular readers no doubt have gleaned.
But, alas, I'm not. I went out and found my friend smoking more than ever -- even though she had a heart attack at age 40, works for cardiologists and knows she's killing herself. She's exhausted because her daughter is so high maintenance -- smoking cigarettes and pot, lying, acting out and embracing the Beverly Hills lifestyle with a vengeance ("My friend Skye and I spent $400 riding around in cabs." "My friend Skye gets $2000 a month from her parents." "I hate all cops, except the one that sits in his car with Skye and gives her doobies."). She's still living out of boxes and is too exhausted to even go out for dinner after work (which means I actually, no shit, ate carry out for every meal after traveling 2000 miles to visit her for her birthday). And her weekends aren't relaxing because she's forever in the car, driving to and from the mountains.
Worst of all, her credit rating took a hit and she has no money because she took a short sale on her home here in Chicagoland. (A practice I think should be reserved for people who can't pay, not those who simply want to move to California, but my friend is too desperate to sense the moral imperative.) She has dreams of her older son (the high school drop out with a record of DUIs) going to college near her and getting his own place, but with her finances in a mess I don't see how that will happen.
Her teeth hurt. She's depressed. Her feet hurt. She's exhausted. She's beginning to smoke every day again and she could lose 50 lbs. And yet she works in a hospital! I finally nagged, pleaded and relentlessly harped until she made an appointment with a new general practitioner. Hopefully the next step will be getting her back on antidepressants, then to a counselor, a dentist and a podiatrist.
I love her and I worry about her. Constantly. I know perspective is always clearer when focused on someone else's life. But I just wish she'd stop seeing herself as a victim and take the reigns! She made this move happen, and now she simply has to make it work.
So, like Grace, I could sing The Told You So song. But instead I will just concentrate on trying to help her be happy.
The official Holidailies prompt-writer is being a bit pissy and has relinquished the prompt-writing duties. So I am turning instead to Kwizgiver for inspiration. Even though she's a little under the weather, I know she won't let me down!
Day 12 -- What's your favorite holiday book?The Christmas Cookie Club by Ann Pearlman. From the publisher: "Every year at Christmastime, Marnie and her twelve closest girlfriends gather in the evening with batches of beautifully wrapped homemade cookies. Everyone has to bring a dessert and a bottle of wine, but this year, it's their stories that are especially important."
Day 13 -- What's your favorite holiday snack? Gingerbread anything. I love gingerbread. Followed closely by spiced anything or pumpkin anything. This is a very fragrant, tasty time of year!
Day 14 -- What puts you on Santa's naughty list? Picking on those smaller or more vulnerable than you. Or disparaging someone's race, ethnicity, religion or sexuality. Santa seriously hates that shit.
Look what I found in my mail! A bill for about $1600 from the IRS ... dating back to 2008.
I do not owe it. I had two different IRAs with an investment firm and that company merged them into one. The $7000 that IRS swears I took and, I guess, used to buy shoes was never actually in my possession: the investment firm simply took it from one retirement fund and put it into another.
I have until January 5 to respond to this. Considering that the holidays are involved, that simply isn't going to happen, so I will ask for an extension.
Then I will try to figure out whether I'm handling this myself or pawning it off my accountant. Right now, I'm leaning to the latter.
But, like Scarlett O'Hara, I'll think of that tomorrow.
Today I'm gonna try to retain my Christmas spirit.
Day 9 -- The strangest thing in the room Five pair of sandals. Strange because it's 19º outside. I have a hard time putting shoes away. Don't know what this has to do with Christmas, but there you go. Day 10 -- Religion in the holiday season This is what it's about for me. My favorite part of Christmas Eve is the candlelight service. Singing "Silent Night" in the darkened temple truly restores my sense of "heavenly peace." It's magic, thinking of the birth of Christ and what it would mean to me. Day 11 -- Unique traditions Balling up wrapping paper and throwing it at my mother. It's not as hostile as it sounds. It began years ago as she was collecting paper in a separate recycling bag and my brother-in-law tried to hit the bag she was holding with a ball of giftwrap. He missed. We all laughed, paper began flying, and a tradition was born.
1) People in Beverly Hills are in love with living in Beverly Hills. My oldest friend lives in a lovely 2 BR/2 BA walkup, on a block with lots of similar buildings (in short, no "swimming pools, movie stars"), and yet here's her street sign.
2) It's nice to see mountains. I love Chicago, but it's very, very flat here.
3) I loved admiring my pedi in natural sunlight again.
4) But all the holiday decorations looked out of place and a little sad. No one sings, "I'm dreaming of a verdant Christmas ..."
5) Even though it was in the 70's, I had a helluva time finding a pair of shorts! No shit, you can buy winter coats, hats and gloves when it's warm out there, but not shorts. I went to Old Navy, Loehmann's, Nordstrom Rack and Marshall's, and only found summer clothes at Marshall's! However, they were marked down from $26 to $3 (yes, three dollars), so my story has a happy ending.
6) We went on the Dearly Departed Tragical History Tour. Here's the home where Marilyn Monroe lived ... and died. It's a lot of good, clean, twisted fun, especially if (like me) you're not a stickler for good taste. If you're ever in Hollywood, you should take the tour. I may post more on this later.
7) Finally went to In and Out Burger. I have been reading for years about what good corporate citizens this company is, how much greater their commitment is to quality, the environment and their employees than other chains. The food was fine, the service was good and the prices were comparable. I have a feeling, though, that my friend will never be back. She deemed it "not as good as Carl's Junior" and I know she thinks it's silly that I view even decisions like which burger I eat as political.
8) I don't know what everyone who whines about airport security is bitching about. I didn't encounter any TSA reps at O'Hare or LAX that were anything but professional and courteous.
9) It was good to get away. I didn't realize how rough the last few months have been until I got on a plane and got outta Dodge. I'm feeling far more positive about my life today.
10) I wish my oldest friend was happier out there. I'll probably post more on this later, too. But I've got a lot to do today and I'm happy and I don't want to blow it!
Martyrdom. My grandmother insisted on hosting the family get together on Christmas Eve, and made sure we each realized how hard she worked, how tired she was, and how ungrateful we were. Whenever I suggested at least ordering an hors d'oeurvres tray, instead of making it herself, she looked at me as though I was a heathen. "Tradition" was very important to her, and a home-cooked meal was "tradition." So was her resentment of every forkful that came near our mouths.
Now that my mother is the matriarch, things are far more relaxed. A change for the better, I think.
I want more time and more energy. I didn't get anything done last night, and yet I had so many plans! I laid down "for a moment" and woke up at 2:00 AM. Damn, damn, damn!
Guilty Pleasures. I watch every version of A Christmas Carol I can find. Part of it is the enduring power of the Dickens story. Part of it is my curiosity to see how many different spins Hollywood can put on it. One of my favorites is Ebbie: Miracle at Christmas. Susan Lucci, aka Erika Kane from All My Children, is Elizabeth "Ebbie" Scrooge, a ruthless retailer out to crush the competition at Christmas. It's not very good and yet ... I love it.
This just in: UH-OH. I'm in Holidailies trouble and it's only Day 2. My posts appeared on the site too close together in time. First the phone company, then the post office, now the Holidailies people. I'm trying hard to stay Christmas-y, but my efforts are being thwarted by bureaucracy.
In order of my personal preference. Star-rating supplied by me. Synopsis by Barnes and Noble. Maybe you'll find something for the book lover on your holiday list.
1) Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton and the Marriage of the Century **** (Biography) The definitive story of Hollywood's most famous couple. He was a tough-guy Welshman softened by the affections of a breathtakingly beautiful woman; she was a modern-day Cleopatra madly in love with her own Mark Antony. For nearly a quarter of a century, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton were Hollywood royalty, and their fiery romance—often called "the marriage of the century"—was the most notorious, publicized, and celebrated love affair of its day.
2) Let's Take the Long Way Home **** (Memoir) “It’s an old, old story: I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too.” So begins this gorgeous memoir by Pulitzer Prize winner Gail Caldwell, a testament to the power of friendship, a story of how an extraordinary bond between two women can illuminate the loneliest, funniest, hardest moments in life, including the final and ultimate challenge.
3) Fragile. **** (Fiction) Everybody knows everybody in The Hollows, a quaint, charming town outside of New York City. It’s a place where neighbors keep an eye on one another’s kids, where people say hello in the grocery store, and where high school cliques and antics are never quite forgotten. As a child, Maggie found living under the microscope of small-town life stifling. But as a wife and mother, she has happily returned to The Hollows’s insular embrace. As a psychologist, her knowledge of family histories provides powerful insights into her patients’ lives. So when the girlfriend of her teenage son, Rick, disappears, Maggie’s intuitive gift proves useful to the case—and also dangerous.
4) The Kennedys at War. ****. (Non-fiction) A dramatic, fascinating and revisionist narrative detailing how America's first family was changed utterly during World War II. First-rate history grounded in scholarship and brought to life by a critically acclaimed author. 5) When I Stop Talking, You'll Know I'm Dead **** (Memoir) Follow Jerry Weintraub from his first great success at age twenty-six with Elvis Presley, whom he took on the road with the help of Colonel Tom Parker; to the immortal days with Sinatra and Rat Pack glory; to his crowning hits as a movie producer, starting with Robert Altman and Nashville, continuing with Oh, God!, The Karate Kid movies, and Diner, among others, and summiting with Steven Soderbergh and Ocean's Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen.
6) Painted Ladies *** (Mystery) Called upon by The Hammond Museum and renowned art scholar Dr. Ashton Prince, Spenser accepts his latest case: to provide protection during a ransom exchange-money for a stolen painting. The case becomes personal when Spenser fails to protect his client and the valuable painting remains stolen. Convinced that Ashton Prince played a bigger role than just ransom delivery boy, Spenser enters into a daring game of cat-and-mouse with the thieves. But this is a game he might not come out of alive...
7) John. *** (Biography) The woman who was John Lennon's wife in the years when the Beatles rose from obscurity to the heights of Beatlemania tells for the first time the full, unexpurgated story of her life with John. Includes a foreword by Julian Lennon, son of Cynthia and John.
8) Stay *** (Fiction) Something Borrowed meets Must Love Dogs in this big- hearted debut about friendship, love, and a German Shepherd named Joe.
9) Star Island ** (Mystery) Whenever it seems as if he might be running out of oxen to gore, Carl Hiaasen comes up with fresh victims for his killing wit. Trying to follow the plot, which involves a supporting cast of crooked politicians and predatory developers, is a little like walking a puppy. But the outlandish events soar on the exuberance of Hiaasen's manic style, a canny blend of lunatic farce and savage satire.
10) Scarpetta Factor ** (Mystery) In the extraordinary new novel by Patricia Cornwell -- the world's #1 bestselling crime writer-forensic expert Kay Scarpetta is surrounded by familiar faces, yet traveling down the unfamiliar road of fame. A CNN producer wants her to launch a TV show called The Scarpetta Factor. But the glare of the spotlight could make Kay a target for the very killers she would put behind bars...
1. Amazon.com or the MallYes. I love the shopping/gifting part best of all and do it wherever/whenever I can.
2. Bows or ribbonsNo. The cats chew on either and both and then gift me with holiday-colored furballs.
3. Expensive or sale tagsSale tags.
4. Long list or shortShorter this year. Especially by one. My uncle/Godfather lost his battle with Parkinson's just over a week ago.
5. Wrapped packages or gift bagsWrapped, unless the shape is impossible.
6. Eggnog or vodka Yes, please.
7. Have you finished your shopping?Almost. Need one more gift for my mom.
8. A Christmas Carol or The Bible StoryChristmas Carol. I'm a Scrooge-a-holic.
9. Are you Scrooge or Santa's Helper?Santa's Helper
10. Did you ever catch Santa Claus in the act?I'll never tell
11. Tell me about your Christmas tree...gotta pic?It's still in the box in my den closet.
12. Christmas carols or Rock StationCarols
13. Do you believe in Elves?How else could Santa accomplish all that he does?
14. I am looking for Santa. Describe him for me. He's 5'9", 200 lbs. White hair and beard. Fondness for red.
15. Do you leave cookies out or bourbon?Both, but they disappear almost immediately!
16. White lights or multi-coloredMulti
17. Wreaths on the doors, windows, outside?Outside, front door
18. Who are the 3 wisest wise men in your life?My best friend. I can't think of another wise man that I know personally, so can I imbue him with the wisdom of three? . 19. Is Christmas religious or commercial for you?Since I work in advertising, I must recuse myself
20. Ever kiss under the mistletoe?Not often enough
21. Stars or angels on top of the tree Angel 22. Who deserves to get a lump of coal for Christmas and why?Glenn Beck (aka Hate Mongering Douche)
23. Who is #7 in the 12 Days of Christmas song? Swans a-swimming
24. Snail mail cards or e-cardsSnail-mail. "And they have been written, stamped and mailed already," she said, bowing deeply.
25. What do you want for Christmas?Lots of hugs and acknowledgments. Does that sound selfish? Well, I'm feeling vulnerable these days.
To play yourself -- and stay out of the dungeon -- click here.
I found this over at Kwizgiver's. I am working very hard at getting into the Christmas spirit, and believe this challenge will help. Since I'm traveling more this holiday season than I usually do, I can't be absolutely sure I'll be able to post every day, but I will try! After all, writing is how I process stuff. ("Stuff." Yup, I'm a writer.)
2010-12-06 - It's the first day of Holidailies ... introduce yourself and your website.
That little box at the top of the top gives you the basics. And I do enjoy Christmas. Lots. Yet last year's Christmas was not great, and I wonder if perhaps I enter the season with the wrong mindset. Do I expect too much? Do I forget what I know about my family and suddenly decide that we're going to behave like a Norman Rockwell portrait? Do I concentrate too much on what it should be and not on what it is?
So this year I'm focusing on the moment. The now. And hoping to enjoy what I have to give and what it has to offer.
I have mentioned many times that Elizabeth Edwards' first book, Saving Graces, had an enormous and very real impact on my life. That's why I devoutly wish that now, as it appears her life is reaching its end, she is enjoying peace. She has earned it.
In her second book, Resilience, she mentioned the Leonard Cohen song "Anthem" prominently. I'm including the refrain here because, well, it encapsulates her life outlook.
"Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack in everything That's how the light gets in."
Thank you to a dear friend I have never met.
Elizabeth Edwards' cancer fight taken a turn for the worse, with the disease spreading to her liver and doctors recommending against additional treatment. "Elizabeth has been advised by her doctors that further treatment of her cancer would be unproductive. She is resting at home with family and friends," the Edwards family says in a statement to PEOPLE. On Monday, Edwards, 61, posted a Facebook message to her friends."I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces – my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope," she writes. "These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined. The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that."
Edwards, who was first diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2004, was briefly hospitalized last week after not feeling well over Thanksgiving. Doctors said her cancer had metastasized to the liver. With the sudden turn, family members – including daughter Cate, a Washington lawyer, and her brother and sister, Jay and Nancy Anania – hastened to Chapel Hill, N.C., to be with her. "It isn’t possible to put into words the love and gratitude I feel to everyone who has and continues to support and inspire me every day," Edwards wrote on Facebook. "To you I simply say: you know. With love, Elizabeth."
Here are the flowers displayed beside the chalice at this Sunday's service, courtesy of moi. The program says they are in celebration of my mom, my oldest friend and Kathleen. And so they are. All three ladies have birthdays in December, and I'd prefer to accentuate the positive.
It began snowing Friday night and kept it up for about 24 hours, leaving the world covered in a blanket of delightful white for the first time this season. I took that as a sign that it's time for us to turn the page, to look at the world from a fresh, clean perspective.
My resolve was solidified Saturday when I spoke to my mom Saturday night. I did not ask about my uncle's service. I didn't want to know. I let her talk because I thought she needed to. At one point, I asked if my flowers arrived. She said didn't know. There were only three arrangements -- one from my uncle's daughter and grandchildren, one from his stepchildren, and a little basket from somebody that was left on the floor.
SLAP! Yes, that was my arrangement. My mom went on to say it's OK, really, since "no one cares about flowers anyway."
After I calmed down, I realize that it may not have been just carelessly "left on the floor" and so what if they were? It's done. I was surprised that my mother didn't expect me to send flowers, for I care about and love them. (I'm looking at a vase of rust-colored mums on my desk right now.) But while my mother loves me, she doesn't really know or understand me. And nothing can be done about that anymore, either. It is what it is, and I should just appreciate her during whatever time we have left together.
As we hung up, I told her that I was done with the mourning part of remembering my uncle. I said that I am, for the most part, pretty chipper by nature and a week is long enough.
That set the table for Sunday. I came over for her birthday. I presented her with this photo as well as the church bulletin which listed her as birthday as a cause for floral celebration. Then I showed her and my nephews photos of many of the cats at Fried's Cat Shelter, one of my uncle's favorite charities. It was with much laughter and love that we chose a beat-up tom as the recipient of the donation I'll make in his honor. "Danny Boy" was chosen because he showed so much attitude and because my uncle had a soft spot for cats who were a bit the worse for wear. Much better than reliving who said what at the service.
Then I gave her a few little gifts, the four of us ate pie, and I left. She seemed very happy, and so was I.
I'll never forget my uncle. He was a tremendous part of my life. But I can't indulge in the funereal trappings anymore. The sun is out, the snow is clean and white, and life goes on.
Share your biggest theater pet peeve, linking back here at The Bumbles. And don't forget to visit your fellow participants!
Nightlights. Just because you have turned the volume off doesn't mean you aren't disturbing the rest of us when you check your texts and emails from your movie theater seat. The little light on your phone is like a freaking beacon. If you're that bored by the movie, why not just take a nap?
1. The latest book or movie that made you cry? Sex and the City. The montage about New Year's Eve. The older I get, the more I treasure my friends, old and true. And I appreciate how hard it would be to navigate across town on a snowy holiday.
2. The fictional character most like you? Katie Morosky from The Way We Were
3. The greatest album, ever? The Beatles, aka The White Album. There may be albums with greater musical credibility, but I can't think of another one that's more fun and more listenable.
4. Star Trek or Star Wars? Why? Neither one. Sorry. I don't like sci-fi.
5. Your ideal brain food? Pizza
6. Everyone is proud of a certain accomplishment, which one for you? I have become an adept public speaker. 7. You want to be remembered for ...? Being a true friend and a good writer. (Which is how Wilbur eulogized Charlotte.)
8. Let's talk about recording artists. Who do you find the most inspirational? Bruce Springsteen. The Boss puts words to my feelings.
9. The creative masterpiece you wish bore your signature? Little Women. Girls not yet born will see themselves as Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy. (OK, maybe not Amy.)
10. Your hidden talents . . .? I can wiggle my right ear.
11. The best piece of advice you actually followed? "Don't listen to what they say. Watch what they do."
12. The best thing you ever bought, stole, or borrowed? My cats. While technically I "bought" them, I like to think of them as "adoptions."
13. What is the most comfortable clothes that you wear? Jeans and a t-shirt.
14. Your dinner guest at the Ritz would be? Doris Kearns Goodwin. Author, historian and passionate Red Sox fan.
15. Time travel: where, when and why? Springfield, IL in the mid-1860s. So I could meet the Lincolns, Abe and Mary.
16. Stress management: hit man, spa vacation or Prozac? Spa. Aaaah ....
17. Essential to life: coffee, vodka, cigarettes, chocolate, or . . .? Coke Classic.
18. Environment of choice: city or country, and where on the map? City. US of A (Chicago or Boston)
19. What do you want to say to the leader of your country? Inspire us. Lead us. Watch a tape of JFK or a kinescope of FDR. This country responds when we're asked to.
20. Last but certainly not least, what are you working on, now? Feeling Christmas-y.
1. Do you have any habits or rituals at this time of year? My Christmas cards benefit The American Humane Society (this year's has the kitten with a gift on the front). I try to get them in the mail over the Thanksgiving weekend. This year I was more or less successful.
2. Polar bears seem to do well in the snow... How about you? Is snow just another thing you deal with when it shows up, or is it shutdown time? ...and if you're posting from a non-snowy locale, do you make trips to actually see snow? It's okay to admit it... I like snow. One of the joys of living here is that we get four distinct seasons, and there's something neat about each one. We're supposed to get 6" over the next 24 hours. Better find my boots.
3. Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood. Behold Blaze. I was 4 years old the Christmas Santa left him under the tree for me.I knew Blaze and I were destined to be together. Familiar with him from the TV commercials, I would visit him whenever we went to Sears and tell him that soon he would be at my house. Naturally I made sure Santa knew he was available at Sears, too, in case the elves needed help.Of course Santa came through. (Thanks, Mom and Dad.)
4. If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be? Toilet paper, as I suspect everyone resents purchasing it as much as I do.
5. Do you live close to your immediate family members? If not, how far away are they? My mom, kid sister and bil, and niece and nephew are about 15 minutes away.
6. My mom ordered a turkey dinner from a local market. it was o.k., but not very good. how was your turkey (or last holiday meal) this year? I didn't have turkey. We were at a buffet of my nephew's choosing and I chose fried chicken instead.
7. In a one horse open sleigh: Have you ever been on a sleigh ride or a carriage ride? Do you even like horses? Or would you just rather travel by your own two feet? I've never been on a sleigh ride, but I'm very receptive to the idea.
8. What is your favorite Christmas song? ...and sung or played by whom? You know, the one you tend to listen for on the radio or hit 'repeat' on the player... "River" by James Taylor
9. What is your least favorite Christmas song? ...and sung or played by whom? You know, the one you tend to skip on the player... "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby. The arrangement is schmaltzy and his voice annoys me. I know, I know ... that's practically Un-American, but there you go.
The Coast Guard cutter Mackinaw sailed in to Chicago Friday morning with Christmas trees for 1,200 needy families.
Also known as the Christmas Tree Ship, the vessel brought 1,200 Christmas trees into town.
The annual voyage honors the memory of August Schuenemann who delivered trees to Chicago by boat in the early 1900s. On Saturday, there will be a formal presentation of the trees.
Ron Santo played third base on the Cub team -- the 1969 team, the great one, the one that also included Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, Fergie Jenkins. He was one of the heroes of my girlhood and brought me countless hours of joy as an adult as he broadcast Cub games from the WGN radio booth.
He died before dawn this morning and I feel like I have lost a bud. He battled diabetes and lost both legs in the fight, he endured first heart trouble and then bladder cancer, but he was always enthusiastic and delightful on air.
"This Old Cub" is how he's been known. An icon from his playing days and the voice of the ever- hopeful who flock to the park at Clark and Addison. Fans have been collecting at his beloved Wrigley Field to leave caps and gloves in memorial, and to photograph the sign out front.
First my uncle, now Ronnie. I feel as though now, as I hit 53, my girlhood has finally slipped away.
Has a movie ever put you to sleep? Share the ones that have caused you to doze off, linking back here at The Bumbles.
