Domesticity makes me sick

No, wait, that's backwards. Sickness makes me domestic. I started feeling better at about noon. Ran some errands and being out in the sunshine lifted my spirits and made me feel dispirited by my messy home. So I did four loads of laundry, scrubbed the kitchen floor (hence the ammonia -- I'm stuffed up so the smell didn't bother me a bit) and cleaned the inside of the microwave. I noticed today that, while my fabulous hardboiled eggs didn't explode in the oven, something tomato-ey had.

If this mood continues, I'll clean the bathroom tomorrow.

But I'm spending the rest of the evening with Nick and Nora Charles. I want to be like them when/if I grow up. (Though I'm sure Nora Charles' white-gloved hands never touched a bottle of Parsons.)

I made egg salad!

Yes, the least domestic blogger ever made herself a meal! The highlight was hardboiling the eggs in the microwave. No explosions. Here's how I did it (reposted here so I won't forget about the vinegar).

Step 1
Fill the microwaveable cooking dish with enough water to cover the eggs with at least an inch of water, but don’t put the eggs in the water yet.

Step 2
Add about a tablespoon of vinegar and a tablespoon of salt. This will keep the eggs from cracking and will make them easier to peel

Step 3
Place the container of water in the microwave and heat it to a full boil.

Step 4
Remove the container of boiling water from the microwave and place the eggs carefully in the water. Cover the container with a plate to keep the heat in, and to keep the mess contained if an egg explodes.

Step 5
Return the container to the microwave oven and set the oven on low or low-medium. Cook the eggs for eight minutes.

Step 6
Take the container of eggs out of the microwave oven and let the eggs stand in the hot water for another eight to 10 minutes, depending how “done” you want your eggs.

Step 7
Let the eggs cool enough to handle, and then peel and eat them. If you want to save them for later use, don’t peel them, but store them in the refrigerator.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Clown's Meme 1

1. How old will you be in five years? 57. And it hurts to say, thank you very much.

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Mika Brzezkinski (left). I'm really enjoying her book, All Things at Once. It's on my Shelfari bookshelf.

3. How tall are you? I always say I'm 5'2.

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? BASEBALL!

5. What’s the last movie you saw? Crazy Heart. Jeff Bridges really is that good, by the way.

6. Who was the last person you called? My mom.

7. Who was the last person to call you? The receptionist from my dentist's office.

8. What was the last text message you received? My niece.

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? Does the automated "your prescription is ready" notification from Walgreen's count?

10. Do you prefer to call or text? Call.

11. What were you doing at 12am last night? I think I was asleep. I don't feel well and my sense of time is fuzzy.

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Separated, seeing as my mom is alive and my dad is dead.

13. When is the last time you saw your mom? Two weeks ago.

14. What color are your eyes? Green. And a nice green, at that.

15. What time did you wake up today? I woke up at about 6:00 AM. I didn't move for about an hour, just stayed in bed and watched the local news. But I was awake.

16. What are you wearing right now? My cream-colored nightshirt.

17. What is your favorite Christmas song? Joy to the World

18. Where is your favorite place to be? Right now, a massage table.

19. Where is your least favorite place to be? Conversely, the examination table.

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Boston. I haven't been in a while, and reading the obits for author Robert B. Parker put me in a Boston state of mind.

21. Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years? Right here in this condo. I may actually even own it by then!

22. Do you tan or burn? Burn

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Richard Speck. Ugly, vicious, and cruel and real. You're lucky I showed Mika and not that human piece of shit. I was 8 the summer that he killed those nurses and he really did haunt my nightmares.

24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? I can't remember. Isn't that sad? I'm not having a bad day, really. I just have a bad cold and an achy back and I'm not filled with laughter.

25. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two

26. How big is your bed? Full-sized

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? MacBook

29. What color are your sheets? Pink/white/blue stripe

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two

31. What is your favorite season? Autumn

32. What do you like about Autumn? Spicy smells, sweatshirts, my birthday

33. What do you like about winter? Snow, the holidays

Busy doing nothing

Let's see now ... I had a sit down with my accountant, during which I handed off that big gray envelope of 2009 tax documentation. Then I took a nap. Then I got a pedicure (that pinky-purpley glob is Avon Spring Fling) and picked up a prescription at Walgreen's and bought cute but incredibly cheap ($2.75!) black and white earrings at Claire's Boutique. (LOTS of Alice in Wonderland tie-in tschotskes are already on display.) Then I took a nap.

My back aches. My nose is stopped up. I am exhausted. I hate missing workouts because I practically have to move my tummy to admire my Spring Fling pedi. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: It's a Beautiful Morning

1. Are you a morning person? When I'm by myself, I can be very productive. I just don't feel like dealing with people before 10:00.

2. Tell us of a news story that truly shocked you. The horrible murder of Jennifer Hudson's family.

3. What was your very first job? Babysitting.

4. What characteristics do you despise? People who thoughtlessly infringe on other's (OK ... my) space: smoking where they shouldn't, taking up two seats on the train, talking too loud on cell phones ... you get the idea

5. To where would you retire? Right here. And I mean, right here. I love being curled up in this corner of my sofa.

6. Are you named after anyone? Nope.

7. How do you release anger? Yell, if I can. Withdraw, if I can't. Yelling feels better, though.

8. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Moi? Utilisez le sarcasme? Non!

9. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I can be judgmental.

I love this "staunch character"

I'm finally watching the original, restored documentary, Grey Gardens. Spending time with Big and especially Little Edie Beale, I appreciate the HBO movie even more.

I love observing Little Edie because I can see myself as her in an alternative universe. Always at home with cats and critters, reading books and listening to the radio and trying to keep "the line between the past and the present" straight. And like Edie, I fancy myself "a staunch character." She says, "There's nothing worse than dealing with a staunch woman. They never weaken, no matter what."

Though I think I'd enjoy being a recluse, whereas Little Edie is bitter about all of her lost opportunities. Regret oozes from her, and the way she blames her old mother, Big Edie, is positively corrosive (even though I'm rather sure "Big Edie" deserves much, much of the blame her daughter assigns).

The black and white photo is of Little Edie before she went to New York to embark on a modeling career. She says she remembers herself as, "the cat's pajamas" back in those days, and she was. She only had a few years to establish herself as a dancer and model before her mother called her back to Grey Gardens, where they lived together (usually in squalor) for decades. I look at Little Edie's beautiful young face and I understand the fury and disappointment she suffered in her later years.

There are those who feel that the Grey Gardens phenomenon (original documentary, HBO special, Broadway play, books) exploits these two aristocratic loopy loons who became celebrities only because they were Jackie Kennedy's aunt and cousin. But Little Edie wanted to be an artist, a performer in her own right so badly that I feel Grey Gardens gave her that. Late in life and then posthumously, sure. But I think she'd find all this attention intoxicating.

Oh, not again!

I'm feeling a bit achy again, and that's how my bout of whatever the hell it was began last month. Please, please, please! I don't want to be sick! (I know, as opposed to all those people who do want to be sick ...)

I had just a light workout today (30 minutes of cardio, no weights). I didn't want to overdo it, in case I am achy for a reason. But I didn't watch all that news coverage about Bill's ticker without taking away something regarding the importance of regular exercise.

This one's for you, Bill

I had a good workout today and treated myself to a Quarter Pounder with Cheese for lunch. Which wouldn't have been a bad thing by itself, especially since I had the Fruit & Yogurt Parfait instead of fries. But then I gave in to temptation and had one of the 480 (!) calorie chocolate chunk cookies from Cosi that our admins put out for us to enjoy. Dammit!

Then I got home and began monitoring coverage of Bill Clinton's heart disease and the stents he received. Somehow the gooey hot ham and cheese panini I was craving just didn't seem appropriate. So, for dinner, I had a bowl of Quaker Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal. 130 calories and 3 grams of fiber.

I raise this spoon of oatmeal to you, Mr. President.

Look after him, God

Former President Bill Clinton Hospitalized in New York City

In spite of everything (and I know there's been a lot), I still love the Big Dog.

Sir Paul at the Friendly Confines?

Paul McCartney may play two shows at Wrigley Field in September. So says the buzz around town today.

The only tangible that's more dependably delivered joy to my life longer than my Beatle is my team. So this would be a harmonic convergence of epic proportions in this Gal's life.

Keep your fingers crossed!

The same, but different

It's the same morning commute. The train travels down the same tracks, past the same landmarks to the same station stop. My destination is the same. Yet I tend to be very blue in the mornings. Why?

Because I no longer have my best friend.

The Secret Service will be so pleased

Behold my new Hanes Full Figure Sport Bra. It looks very different on me, and not just because I'm not blonde. On me, it looks as though I'm protecting the girls from a serious assassination attempt.

I Want Wednesday

This week's question is:

What type of charity do you want to run?

I would love to care for stray and feral cats. On winter days like this one, I worry about them sooooo much. Is it hard for them to navigate on short kitty legs through the deep snow? Where will they find food? How do they stay warm? (Oh, please don't crawl up under the car hoods!)

Also, while I can be very, very short-tempered with bipeds, I am somehow endlessly patient with critters. So in a perfect world, this would be my calling.

To play along yourself, click here.

Another year, another spa

I have booked my spring spa getaway. In previous years I have traveled to Chateau Elan in Atlanta, and I enjoyed it completely. But this year I am experimenting with a destination that marries my love of pampering and alone time with my love of American history.

This spring I'm headed to Colonial Williamsburg. I'll be staying at the Williamsburg Lodge and have two spa sessions booked. When I'm not being massaged and exfoliated and moisturized, I'll be out looking at "History on Display" in the nearby museums or indulging in retail therapy in the array of shops, all within walking distance.

Not that Chateau Elan wasn't wonderful -- it was! It's just so very expensive. I suspect I'll find it more relaxing to luxuriate in slightly less pricey surroundings. Plus it would be good for me to spend time getting to know a President who isn't Abe.

But I sooooooo want this!

I made a 2010 resolution not to buy any more books. It made sense at the time, since I have a knee-high TBR pile. (That's literal, not an exaggeration.) But Game Change just sounds so damn fascinating. The Clinton marriage continues to keep me hypnotized. It would be nice to read an account of the Edwards marriage written by legit journalists. The Palin/McCain shotgun "marriage" of sorts sounds like a train wreck that needs to be chronicled. And maybe I can finally figure out what made Obama the Candidate so much more compelling than Obama the President.

I want it, I want it, I want!

Will I be able to resist?

American Idol -- Hollywood Week

My first sit down with American Idol and I'm so loving it. It's the first year without Paula, and a guy named Andrew just did "Straight Up." I'm sorry she missed it. But Ellen is charming. Can't imagine this show without Simon, though.

HOLLYWOOD WEEK!

Heads or Tails #24 -- Chains

HEADS - "Chain"

This week's prompt has me time travelling back to 1967, and two of the favorite things in my 9-year-old life.

• Adding to my gum wrapper chain
• Singing along with Aretha, "Cha-cha-chain-ee-ain-ee-ain, Chain of Fools."

The Queen's Meme

The Circus Meme

1

Look at the flying trapeze artists. What are they saying?
"So what if Aunt Edith made me executrix of her will? Do we have to talk about this now?"

2Introducing an environmentally-friendly way
to reduce our dependence on foreign oil.

3

He just taste-tested our new chili sauce, "Slap My Ass and Call Me Sally."

4

"Sal, is this the right way to audition directors for the Patio Diet Cola commercial?"
Mad Men reference. Hope it's not too obscure.

5

"Siegfried and I raised them since kittenhood. They'd never hurt me. Really."

6

Kirk Cameron is financing this, isn't he?

7

"I must have your coat. In the words of Cruella DeVille, 'I love fur. I worship fur.'"

8

How did a simple Saturday afternoon trip to Home Depot turn into this?

9

"Pssst! This photo is going to give The Gal Herself nightmares for a week!"

10

"Welcome to life in downsized corporate America."

To play along, click here.

Ooooh! I haven't seen this movie since I was a girl!

Julia, starring Jane Fonda and Vanessa Redgrave and Jason Robards, was a huge deal to me when it first came out in the 1970s. I happened to be in my Lillian Hellman period -- I read everything of hers I could get my hands on. "Julia" is a chapter of Pentimento, one of Hellman's memoirs. Robards played Dashiell Hammett, Hellman's lover and mentor and a great man of letters his damn self. And Redgrave was Julia, Hellman's girlfriend friend/idol/conscience. The "bad guys" in this story are as villainous as they come -- Hitler and Mussolini.

At the beginning of tonight's TCM broadcast, Robert Osborne said Julia marked Meryl Streep's movie debut in a bit part. I'll have to look for her.

I love Oscar time because movies like this one get dusted off, and I get to fall in love with them again!

Or not. This just in: I dozed off before the end. It seemed far more pretentious to me this time around. Maybe I should have just left it as I remembered it. "Pentimento."

Though I did see an impossibly young Meryl Streep in a scene with Fonda/Hellman, playing a shallow socialite.

Emergency provisions are called for

A winter storm warning kicks into effect tonight and will last until Wednesday morning. By that time, we could have up to 14" of snow. The ol' Gal has lived in Chicagoland all her life and knows what's required for times like this.

Cat food (check)
Cat litter (check)
Milk (check)
Coke (check)
Vodka … DAMN! I don't know if I have enough hootch to last me! Must stop at the store tonight!

I have to come in tomorrow for a client meeting. But I am seriously hoping for a snow day on Wednesday.

First of all, I'd simply like the day off. Secondly, I hate listening to people whine. It's winter in Chicago. WE KNOW THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!! That's why our closets contain boots with treads and thick mittens and down coats that make us all look like Ralphie's younger brother in A Christmas Story.

Snow can be pretty. Snow can be fun. Surviving a good snow storm can leave you feeling like you're made of stern stuff. And it gives you an excuse to drink tea laced with brandy. (Must remember to pick up brandy, too.)

Movie Monday

This week's movie topic is all about Bugs...

Movies that feature insects. Share on your blog others instances of those crawly critters and link back here at The Bumbles. And don't forget to visit your fellow participants!

One great lady springs instantly to mind: Charlotte A. Cavatica. She, who spun Charlotte's Web. In the latest version, she's voiced by Julia Roberts, who sounds very wise and soothing and lives up to how Charlotte's friend, Wilbur, eulogized her: "a true friend and a good writer." If my life can be summed up the same way as that spider's, I'll die a happy woman.

Steve Buscemi is a suitably ambivalent Templeton, and Robert Redford does a good job as the rather skittish horse, Ike, too. But Charlotte has been a heroine of mine since my mother read me the book, and to this day I when I encounter I spider, I try to catch and release.

Buy this book

I did.

The author, Sarah Levy, is more than ambitious and successful. She's also completely adorable and has a very generous spirit. I met her this afternoon at a local booksigning and she not only autographed a copy for niece, the budding chef, she also gave me her card and so my niece can contact her with questions about life in the culinary biz.

With apologies to A Flock of Seagulls

"And I swam. I swam so far away ..."

I had the entire pool to myself this evening! Most of the healthclub members were watching the Super Bowl. So I got to paddle and stroke lap after lap all by myself. With that song going through my head.

The week in Beatle history

The Lads invaded America 46 years ago this week. While I am older now, and therefore no longer compelled to scream, cry or wet my pants at the sight of him, a day doesn't go by that I don't listen to Paul McCartney's voice. He's eternally my Valentine. (Nancy Shevell, you take good care of him now!)

I don't get it

Without belaboring the point, just let me say that my erstwhile best friend's wife is threatened enough by our relationship that she has, effectively, ended his and my 5-year friendship. He's left quite a void, and this situation has left me feeling vulnerable and isolated.

As I try to work through this, I found myself checking out her Facebook page. I have met her and seen photos of her, of course, but on Facebook you present yourself to the world as you see yourself. Her picture is lovely, of course. She's wearing little makeup, just some lip gloss, and she looks like she's delighted by whatever she's looking at. Her interests are her girls' school and ballet studio and she has over 100 friends -- doctor and lawyer friends from the development they live in, moms from her kids' school, relatives whose names I recognize, other members of the cycling club the family belongs to ... It looks like such a perfect life from here.

I look at her face and feel bad that she believes I have caused her pain. But whatever is wrong inside the perfect life she projects is not my fault. I am, at most, a symptom of something that's between her and her husband. I am not in that marriage, that household, or that circle of friends.

In fact, I am about to separate my whites from my colors and change my sheets before going to bed. I don't see what there is about me -- fat and 50+ -- that could make this pretty balletomane and stay-at-home mom with the affluent family and accomplished circle of friends unhappy. I wish she would stop scapegoating me and let me have my friend back.

Not that I don't blame him for hurting me in all this. But thinking about that makes my throat close up and I just can't deal with that right now.

Sorry to drone. But I want this blog to be an accurate snapshot of who I was at this time of my life, and I'd be less than honest if I didn't document this.

"Lucy, you get out of there right now!"

Lucy's locked in the freezer again.

There's an I Love Lucy marathon on the Hallmark Channel and I may not breathe fresh air for the duration. Unless I force myself.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: I Started a Joke

1. Tell us a joke that you think is funny. If you don't tell jokes tell us why. I've heard many versions of this and I love them all: A grandmother takes her beloved grandson to the beach. As he plays in the sand, a sudden tidal wave sweeps him away into the depths of the ocean. The grandmother immediately falls to her knees in the sand and prays to God for the return of her grandson. "Please God, I have always been a good person and a loving Grandmother, please return my grandson to me." Just as she finishes her prayer, a huge wave crashes back on the beach, returning the young boy to his grandmother's side. Grandma begins to cry and hug her grandson that she thought she would never see again. She is overcome with joy and gratitude. She looks once more at her grandson, then looks back at the sky and yells, "He had a hat!"

2. Where do you buy most of your clothes? Macy’s.

3. Which famous person would you like to meet? Why? Cubs’ skipper Lou Pinella. If you have to ask why, you don’t visit this blog very often.

4. What is your ultimate ambition? Serenity.

5. Do you like to live in the area of your country or would you prefer something a little different? I love living here.

6. Has a newspaper or television reporter ever interviewed you? If so, what were the circumstances and what did you think when you read or saw what you said? I have refused to be interviewed for both the Chicago Tribune and the Weather Channel, so I have no regrets about what aired or was printed.

7. What was the last CD/mp3 album that you purchased? How did you like it? "Love Is the Answer" by La Streisand. It's great.

8. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you. "My Tears Dry on Their Own," by Amy Winehouse. "My Brave Face," by Paul McCartney. "Spring Can Really Hang You Up the Most," by Barbra Streisand. "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay. "Thunder Road" by Bruce Springsteen.

9. Do you are your partner usual begin intimacy? I don’t have partner.

Culture Vulture Post

Yes, I went to see the revival of a Pulitzer Prize winning play that got it's start right here in Chicago. Very literary, very deep, very dark ... and really very funny. Terry Letts' August: Osage County is touring and if you get a chance, go see it.

It's about a smart, gifted, Oklahoma-based family that is completely unraveling. Daddy, a published poet, disappears. Mommy, a powerful personality battling with cancer, needs the help of her daughters. Well, not all three of them. The only one she really wants is Barbara, who moved to Denver to start her own family. Ivy, the dutiful daughter who has stayed in Oklahoma to care for her parents, resents this (and her mother's constant carping about clothes and hair) but bears it all stoically. Karen, the baby of the family, is trying to start an independent life in Florida. But as soon as the family tragedy brings her through the front door, she reverts back to being the silly little girl the family expects her to be.

It's about mothers and daughters, daddies and daughters, depression, addiction, suicide, infidelity, and all the other things that make family gatherings memorable. Especially if your family is smart enough to spout dialog worthy of David Mamet or Tennessee Williams or Edward Albee.

I saw it with my friend Barb, my theater-going buddy, who kept saying all through our pre-theater dinner that there was no way she would be able to sit there for more than three hours. Barb and I have different tastes in plays to begin with, and this kind of sinister, talky drama is not generally what she enjoys. (I tease her that in her perfect world, every play we see would be River Dance or Mama Mia.) Yet once Act II kicked in, she didn't want to leave her seat -- not even to check her ubiquitous iPhone. There is no higher praise for a character-driven, non-musical production.

Special cast notes: One of the less savory characters in the play, Steve the Fiance, is played by Laurence Lau. Back in the day, he was Greg from Jenny-and-Greg on All My Children. He's older and carries an air of depravity that works for Osage County but would shock those who knew him in Pine Valley.

And Mama Violet was played by Estelle Parsons, just as annoying as she was in 1967 when she won an Oscar as Blanche Barrow in one of my favorite movies, Bonnie and Clyde. I had to restrain myself from celebrating her entrance by getting up and yelling, "My eyes, Daddy, MY EYES!"

I feel a little like Pepe le Pew

Or any of the Warner Bros. cartoon characters. Because this afternoon my heart has been beating so hard I swear you can see it thumping through my sweater.

I'm just wound up, nervous. No particular reason. Made all my deadlines, so there's no professional Sword of Damocles hanging over me. And I'll be able to get out of here soon and begin braving the snow storm. (I suspect it's more wind and storm than actual snow.)

I had hoped that working out over lunch would have helped, but it didn't.

Oh well, at least I have a lovely, low-key weekend ahead of me. And agitation is better than the blues!

When did we all get so freaking sensitive?

Scott Lee Cohen, the freshly-minted Democratic nominee for Illinois Lt. Governor, is refusing to step down. He doesn't feel that the 2005 arrest for assaulting his girlfriend, or a prostitute, or his prostitute/girlfriend (it's getting confusing) is reason for moving aside.

I don't know how we're going to get him off the ticket, or even if we can, so right now it looks like Democrats will lose both a Senate seat and the Governor's Mansion here in Illinois.

The newspapers are full of stories about Mr. Cohen's indiscretions today -- Thursday, two full days after the election. It would have been nice if they had run these stories before we went to the polls.

We've been down this road together before, she & I

Babs and me.

I first discovered her when I was in high school. The 1970s. After the Beatles had broken up and the world was listening to disco and soft rock shit. I took refuge in the two classic albums I refer to as, "The Runs" (Band on the and Born to) and Streisand. Her music and her movies were a revelation to me.

Uncompromising in her art, always going her own way, tough and vulnerable and sincere, she was a terrific role model for me then ... and now.

I'm feeling isolated, misunderstood and overworked. I'm tired -- no, make that weary -- as I settle in to my 50s. Then I look at her. Oscars, Emmies, Grammies, Tonies, lifetime achievement awards and even a Peabody. Last year, with Love Is the Answer, at age 67 she not only outsold Mariah Carey (who released a CD the same day), she became the only artist to have a #1 album/CD in five different decades.

A troubled childhood and on-going family issues, divorce, broken romances, splintered relationships, failures along the way, bad press, bad reviews, "Shut up and sing" ... she survived it all. Perhaps because she keeps going. Learning from her mistakes (you can hear that hard-won wisdom in her songs), but ploughing ahead. Like an indomitable Energizer Bunny.

I've been listening to her a lot these past few days. I know I can count on her to help me through this rough patch.

But I'm trying to lower my cholesterol!

You Are Chicken Fried Steak

You are bold and fearless. You tend to think big, and that includes eating big. If you're going to go out to eat, then you're going to order something amazing. No salads for you! You live in the now. You figure the future is uncertain, so you might as well just make the best of today. You don't believe in moderation or holding back. You just go for it, consequences be damned.

What Kind of Diner Food Are You?

I first discovered this "Blogthing" over at Endomental.

Bruce Willis scratched me

He didn't mean to. He was giving me a back rub. He was late 80's-David Addison vintage Bruce Willis.

It was a dream, of course. I just wish I could remember more of it.

It was about Blago

Regardless of what the national press insists, the Illinois primaries had nothing, NOTHING to do with Barack Obama. Both of the major races -- Governor and Senate -- were seriously impacted by Rod Blagojevich.

1) When he was impeached and tossed from office, Blago left his Lt. Governor, Pat Quinn, a fiscal mess of epic proportions. Worse, Quinn was blind-sided about much of it because during much of his last term, Blago wouldn't talk to anyone but his staff.

2) The open Senate seat is the one that Blago (allegedly) tried to sell -- it's "fucking golden," after all -- and may have been purchased by Roland Burris.

3) Tony Rezko, one of Blago's best buds, has donated money to every politician in Illinois. It would be only a slight exaggeration to say that Rezko money may have even tainted the Pinewood Derby.

The result of these scandals is that many of the marquee Dems -- most notably Attorney General Lisa Madigan -- played like Punxsutawney Phil and were reluctant to leave their holes, lest they see their shadows. Safer to stay put, to stay out of the fray, to avoid the scrutiny.

There was more to yesterday's results, of course. Quinn tried to tie his opponent, Dan Hynes, to a particularly unsavory cemetary scandal, while Hynes "exhumed" Mayor Washington, using a decades-old video of Harold bashing Quinn. It was so dirty and so irrelevant that I don't know anyone who truly cared who won. Alexi Giannoulias, the leading Democrat in the Senate primary, is involved up to his hips in his family's bank -- which is having such major solvency problems that he didn't campaign these past few days, lest he have to answer questions about it.

But none of it was a referendum on Barack Obama. And should Illinois fade from blue to purple, with a Republican Senator or Governor elected this November, that won't have anything to do with the President, either.

It's hard to believe that a buffoon like Blago can leave such ruin in his wake. It's hard to believe I voted for him twice, too. Shame on me.

They're $18 a box!

One of my coworkers is cleaning out his office. ("I'd say that he has spring fever, but I know it isn't spring ...") As I walked by I spied tons of green, letter-sized hanging files in the dumpster! Those babies are 72¢/each.

Not only are his spendthrift ways bad for this agency's bottom line (and my prospects of a raise), it's bad for the environment.

I hope I can get over there in time and rescue those little green beauties.