Shit happens to my oldest friend. Her plate is always full of drama. I knew that if I called and let her know I feel she has undervalued me and my feelings lately, that she would turn around and tell me of some emotional or legal tsunami that has engulfed her family.
And sure enough, she left a message today, letting me know her 21-year-old son was robbed at gunpoint behind their apartment building last night. He's OK -- all the crooks got were his phone and his cigs. But there was much hubbub as she got to meet with Beverly Hills' finest.
I'm sure it was terrifying and awful. I'm not diminishing that. But the events of yesterday, of course, don't explain where she's been for the past week when I was sick. And you know what? It doesn't really matter. This is how she is, how she's always been. I either have to accept and love her as she is, or quit investing this friendship with so much emotion.
As with the weight loss/fitness issues (see below), this really is MY life and I have to take responsibility for the shape it takes.
These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
It's always the most difficult to have problems with your oldest friend. For some reason, it seems that they should be the one friend that would drop everything to be a friend when you need one-yet, that never seems to be the case.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry your friend hasn't been able to be there for you. Why is it that some people just seem to attract catastrophe?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're feeling better now. It's hard enough to be sick without the friend you should be able to count on letting you down.
Your journey with your oldest friend has made me re-evaluate a couple relationships in my life. I have cut the cords with one of my dearest friends, and ya know? I'm really okay without her. So know that your struggles with your friend have given me food for thought and the courage to do what I needed to do.
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