This photo got me thinking:
• Is any woman ever happy with her looks? I recently came across a photo of myself at about 30 and looking back, I see I was adorable. But at the time I thought my face was too round. I used to joke that I was just two sets of fat cheeks. I now wish I hadn't been so critical, and that I enjoyed my looks.
• What's up with the plush dog?
America's top 13 fast food chains. Because I am a hopeless cook, I'm big on carry out. I try to patronize local, independent eateries, but the names of those places would mean nothing to anyone outside my neighborhood. So I'm sharing this list instead.
The ranking is based on sales. I'm surprised to see how far Burger King has fallen. I remember when it was a real contender for market supremacy.
1. McDonald's. Burgers.
2. Starbucks. Snacks/coffee.
3. Subway. Sandwiches
4. Taco Bell. Mexican-inspired.
5. Chick-Fil-A. Chicken.
6. Wendy's. Burgers.
7. Burger King. Burgers.
8. Dunkin'. Snacks/coffee.
9. Domino's. Pizza.
10. Panera. Sandwiches.
11. Pizza Hut. Pizza.
12. Chipotle. Mexican-inspired.
13. Sonic. Burgers.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
1. What are you currently reading? Every 15 Minutes by Lisa Scottoline. Dr. Eric Parrish isn't happy. His wife is divorcing him and selling the house. He only gets to see his beloved 7-year-old daughter a couple times a week. It's a good thing, then, that his career is going well. He runs a highly-rated hospital psych unit. His papers have been published by respected journals. His private practice is profitable.
Since this is Lisa Scottoline, someone's got to get dead. The murder victim is a popular high school student. The person of interest is Eric's newest patient, a teenager with OCD who must complete a simple ritual every 15 minutes. What's Eric's loyalty to his patient? What's his responsibility to the dead girl? And who is the unidentified sociopath who provides narration at the beginning of each chapter? Is someone manipulating the situation to destroy Eric?
This one is keeping me tense and has me guessing. I think I know who our deranged narrator is, but I'm not sure. And I've come to like Eric, which ups the stakes ... and my involvement.
2. What did you just finish reading? Judy and I by Sid Luft. This is the story of Judy Garland's third -- and longest -- marriage to entrepreneur and producer, Sid Luft. It's a harrowing tale because Judy was ill, an addict, at a time when little was known about addiction. Looking back on his life with her, Sid admits he enabled her, trying to monitor her pill intake, naively believing he could stop it from escalating. Of course he couldn't. They divorced in 1965. By 1969, she'd had two more husbands and was dead of an overdose.
The Judy that comes through on these pages was funny, driven, and very aware of the power her prodigious talent gave her. This was a revelation because Garland is so often portrayed as a victim. She was a victim of addiction, that's true, but she was also tough, willful, and very smart. I was happy to see that side of her. Remember, Dorothy was strong enough to get over the rainbow to Oz and back again. Good to know that Judy herself was a formidable character, too.
3. What will you read next? I don't have anything selected yet.
Yes, another post about Trump. I am sick of him and wish he would just disappear from the national landscape. But, like any good narcissist, he just won't go.
Of course I'm disgusted by the way he behaved between November 3 and January 6. While many of us -- including ME! -- were battling covid, he was busy trying to overthrow the very government he took an oath to lead. Appalling.
But that's not what this post is about. It's about my family, and the deleterious impact he has had on us.
Guess why.
He's watched life-long Republicans, Trump supporters and Trump employees, testify about the January 6 riot. Yet half the country isn't watching or doesn't care. Half the country has somehow convinced themselves that all these people, testifying under oath, are lying. Or that having your President encourage a riot isn't such a bad thing.
My
nephew is so disheartened that he has given up. He once dreamed of working for a congressman and helping shape policy. But
because of the misplaced and blind loyalty of the MAGAverse, he sees no
point.
He did say he's interested in becoming a volunteer at the polls on election day. The way Trump publicly bullied Shaye Moss and her mother has motivated him. So I suppose that there's always a silver lining to every Trumpy cloud.
My aunt -- my cousin's mom and Grandpa's only surviving child -- hasn't seen this picture. Not because she wouldn't love it. Because they aren't talking. Because, in her full-throated support of Trump, she revealed herself, in her son's words, as "a homophobic racist." She is very vocal, and it is very disheartening for my cousin to hear the woman who insisted he go to Sunday School every week behave in such an un-Christian way.
My aunt has never held her first great-grandchild. Her once favorite granddaughter -- who is also appalled by the hate her grandmother spewed toward gays and BLM -- graduated cum laude this past spring and her grandmother doesn't even know.
This is tragic.
I am a decade older than my cousin. I remember my aunt when she was still in her teens, and kept JFK's picture on her nightstand. I believe that inclusive, sensitive girl who once believed you should ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country is still in there somewhere. Of course, I don't have to square the circle of hypocrisy that my cousin does.
I hope her red MAGA cap is worth it.
Even more, I hope she can STFU long enough -- stubbornness is a family trait we all share -- to reach out and heal this breach. I hope that if she does, my cousin has the wisdom to accept this olive branch. My aunt is over 75. I don't know how much time she and my cousin believe they have to fix this.
And I wish Donald Trump would just stop trying to defend his indefensible behavior, quit throwing gas on the fire, quit insisting his election lie is the truth ... just quit.
Leave us alone, please!
1. What's something you've recently accomplished solo. Self care. I'm trying to baby myself this weekend. I had a busy workweek last week and am looking at a tough one this week. If I don't accomplish much this weekend, that's OK.
2. What's one product you use that never ever fails?
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| These paper towels may well be the love of my life |
3. Have you found your place in the world? Where is it? I think I've found myself, unexpectedly, in the world of classic film. I didn't expect to. I found my movie group Meet Up completely by accident. I was looking up Meet Ups for my dear old friend in Los Angeles, and every time I completed a search in her zip code, the site reverted to mine. From that accident I met Will, our moderator, and two friends I now see away from the group: Joanna (I owe her an email) and Elaine (I owe her an email, too).
Will convinced me to go to Hollywood for the TCM Classic Film Festival in 2019 and I was delighted to find myself in my element. I met people I kept up with through Facebook and when we all got together again this past Spring, it was almost as good to meet them again as it was to see the movies on the big screen. One woman, Trudy, pulled me aside and told me she was so sorry to read my Facebook posts about the death of my cat, Reynaldo. How kind was that!
Can you spot me in there?
And, of course, there's the movies. In this community, I can indulge my passion for Judy Garland and Frank Sinatra. (Really, when they were on their games they were so extravagantly good we didn't deserve them.) I learned that Elizabeth Taylor was so much more than a much-married bejeweled celebrity, and Rock Hudson was more than an AIDS victim. And that, with all due respect to Meryl Streep, Katharine Hepburn is the GOAT.
4. Worst movie you ever saw? Frankie and Johnny, starring Elvis. Now I grade Elvis movies on a curve, but even allowing for that, it's dreadful. Not enjoyably bad, like Valley of the Dolls. Just unwatchable. Boring.
5. What's the last fun thing you did? Yesterday I gossiped with my friend John. He hangs around at a local bar, playing Norm to a nice 72-year-old man we'll call Cliff. It seems Cliff had fallen hard for the 27-year-old bartender. She works a couple days of week to augment her earnings as a newly-licensed realtor. Seems most people want to look at homes in the evening, anyway. So sometimes at the end of her shift, she and Cliff would go to dinner. She viewed these quick meals as a bite with a friend. Cliff believed he was making inroads to her heart. John tried to warn Cliff. Anyway, last week Cliff watched as a very nice looking, far younger man hit on her, and she responded positively. At the end of her shift, not wanting her afternoon with this man to end, she invited him to enjoy her and Cliff for dinner. Cliff was furious and heartbroken. John told this story very well, with great compassion for all three involved, and everything from his insights to his word choices reminded me why he's such an entertaining friend.
6. What's your favorite Italian dish? Manicotti. Prepared properly, it's divine.
7. Have you ever been to France? Any desire to visit there, and if so what would site or city would you most want to see? I went to France when I was still a teenager. I loved Monmarte. I saw Moulin Rouge, but was too young to go in. Seeing the Mona Lisa and the Arc de Triomphe was a thrill, too. Funny, but I really have no desire to be a world traveler. If I'm going to take a long flight again, I'd rather see Anchorage or return to Honolulu. I want to see the USA first.
8.
Have you ever been to Disney, any of the parks at all? Are you a Disney
superfan or something less than that? They're open right now so tell
us, would you go if you had the time/money/a free trip? I've been to Disneyland and DisneyWorld. I had a wonderful time. I enjoy rides, so I'm a natural. I'd love to go back -- for free. Maybe I'd take my nephew.
9. Your
favorite place to go when you want to be quiet as a church mouse? Would
those who know you well describe you as more church mouse or perhaps
more like mighty mouse? I like my own company and I'm happy to be home alone. When I go out, I'm very verbal (OK, blabby) but then I go home, power down and recharge.
10. Do you bake your own bread? Last time you had hot out-of-the-oven homemade bread? What's your favorite kind of bread? I have never baked bread. I will never break bread.
11. What's something you might say is 'the greatest thing since sliced bread'? BASEBALL! I really missed it during the All-Star Break.
12.
Share with us five little things you're grateful for today. Small
blessings. One catch-they all must start with the letter T.
Tranquility: I have a quiet day planned
Talent: I'm going to finish watching the HBO Max documentary about Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward
Thrift: I'm under-budget for the weekend. Yay, me!
Thrills: Lots of baseball today -- Cubs/Phillies and Yankees/Orioles
Tide: It works so well and it's laundry day
13. Tell us where you were and something about what life was like when you were 20-21. I was always broke. I loved my little 3-room apartment in a courtyard building. But on summer day like this, I was afraid to turn on the a/c because of what it would do to my electric bill. My paychecks just never went far enough.
I lived behind the tree, center right
14. What's on the menu at your house this week? Don't know. Two nights this week I'll be in the city, so I might grab something on the go.
15.Something you recently purchased where a coupon was involved? Do you regularly shop with coupons? Coupons are the only reason I return to CVS as often as I do. There's one in my wallet right now.
Saturday 9: Diamonds (2012)
9) Random question: Did either or both your parents go to college? Nope.
1. Old Fashioned
2. Margarita (a favorite of mine)
3. Cosmopolitan (made popular by Carrie and the gang on SATC)
4. Negroni (Jackie O's standard drink order while on The Christina)
5. Moscow Mule (I love these, too; as much for the copper mug as for the spicy taste)
7. Martini
8. Mojito (rumored to be a favorite of Ernest Hemingway's)
9. Whiskey sour (my dad ordered these)
10. French 75 (never heard of this one before; gin, champagne, lemon juice and sugar)
11. Manhattan
12. Wine spritzer
13. Vodka gimlet
Bottoms up!
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
1. What are you currently reading? Judy and I by Sid Luft. This year is the centennial of Judy Garland's birth. As a classic film fan, I felt attention must be paid, so I reached for this memoir, written by her ex-husband.
Judy and Sid were together for 14 years. Considering she died at 47, that's a significant chunk of her life. As lover, husband, and manager, he was with her for the second, post-MGM phase of her career and produced A Star Is Born (which served as the template for Lady Gaga's 2018 version).
So far, the Judy that comes to life is powerful and determined. This intrigues me. The Garland Legend depends on her being a vulnerable victim. Yes, as a child star, she was exploited by MGM and her mother. Yes, she was addicted to pills. But she understood her talent and her power and was more willful than I realized. A fascinating book by someone who knew her well. (I just wish there was less about Sid's early years. I don't find him as captivating as Judy did.)
2. What did you just finish reading? Dead Center by David Rosenfelt. On the one hand, Andy Carpenter of Patterson, NJ, seems to have it all. He's a wealthy lawyer who only takes cases that interest him. Dogs are his passion and he is committed to his animal rescue foundation. He has a circle of friends he watches games with at the local sports bar. His life is moving along smoothly, except he's lonely.
He hears about a double homicide in Findlay, WI. The source of this information is Chief Laurie Collins, the woman who left him to take this opportunity in law enforcement in her hometown. She's made an arrest in the case, but there's something that doesn't feel right to her, and she trusts Andy. A possibly innocent man on trial? A chance to sleep with Laurie again? Andy is so there! He packs the car, and he and his Golden Retriever Tara take off for Wisconsin.
This is #5 in the series and I felt it was missing some of the freshness and originality of the previous efforts. Maybe it's because less action takes place in the courtroom, where Andy's verbal skills and sense of right and wrong can shine. With Andy acting as an investigator, this book has a same-old PI flavor. Kind of deja-Spenser. Robert Parker's Spenser has an intimidating African American enforcer in Hawk. Andy has Marcus. Spenser has a can't-live-with-her/can't-live-without-her lover in Susan, Andy has Laurie. Pearl the Wonder Dog has opened Spenser's heart, Andy can't go anywhere without Tara.
I'll be back, though. Andy makes me smile. I'm hopeful that the next book in the series will return to the legal maneuvers that got me hooked in the first place.
3. What will you read next? A mystery or thriller.
To paraphrase my favorite joke, when you see a lot of horseshit, you should search for the pony. As he has been for nearly a decade, Anthony Rizzo is my favorite-most pony.
The money goes to gas cards, so parents can afford the drive to the best -- and often faraway -- facility for their child's chemo.
And parking! I didn't realize this until Rizz educated me, but many hospitals charge patients for parking. A week of chemo can cost a family $70 or more, and that's not reimbursed by insurance. Neither is eating at the hospital cafeteria (another $50/week, per person.) When you consider that many parents are on unpaid leave from their jobs, these costs add up fast and can be crippling.
Which is why he's made rent/mortgage assistance available.
He's renovated the family waiting rooms at Lurie Children's Hospital here in Chicago and Joe DiMaggio Children's Hospital in Hollywood, FL.
In Chicago this year, pediatric cancer patients spent the day with their siblings at Santa's Village. In New York, the kids got gift cards for their own mini-spree at FAO Schwartz' flagship store.
Through his Home Run Challenge, every dinger is worth $4,425 ... and he's hit 22 already this year! That's another $97,350!
Oh yeah, and there's his baseball. You know, his real job. I hated to lose him, but he's flourishing with the first-place Yankees. It's not even the All-Star Break yet and he's got 57 RBIs! His slugging percentage is .502. It's been years since his SLG has been this high.
Lord, please let Anthony Rizzo have another World Series ring.
Sometimes it's hard to be happy about the way things are going in this country. According to 538, a staggering 40% of Americans still view insurrectionist-in-chief Donald Trump "favorably." (No, really.) Peacefully take a knee, like Colin Kaepernick, and you deserve to lose your livelihood. Plan an attack on The Capitol from the Oval Office, and we'll re-elect you!
Three Supreme Court nominees took an oath as they began their confirmation hearings and then lied about Roe. Voters who cosset themselves in my Christian faith are good with this, too. I guess I missed the week in Sunday School when they taught us how the ends justify the means.
It's become fashionable to blame the police in Uvalde and the parents of the Highland Park shooter for the latest mass shootings. While it's true that the police and the parents failed, it completely misses the fact that both shooters bought high-powered AR rifles legally. The most immediate problem at hand is not police procedure or filial fuck-up, it's allowing civilians to have combat rifles.
The economy has always risen and fallen. It's cyclical and has less to do with the President or Governor than many of us believe. That's why dollar cost averaging works when we invest. But this moral decay? It's obvious to me on whose shoulders this rests. And it's such a ridiculous cyclical argument! "I love the Constitution but I'll look the other way if it's my guy shredding it. I want to protect the unborn but I'm OK with school children being shot. BUT GAS PRICES! NOW I'M MAD!" How corrupt is that?
20-year-old Shreya Patel is the Massachusetts-based founder of Letters Against Isolation. For two years now, she and her kid sister Saffron have been facilitating correspondence with people in nursing homes, seniors that feel forgotten. Today it's a massive organization, with a sophisticated signup process that makes it easy for you (yes, you!) to find a senior in your state who needs to hear from you. Too broke for postage? These brilliant girls have established a stamp fund.
The link I get from Letters Against Isolation is a highlight of my Sunday. I know that by signing up to write, I am improving two lives: the person who receives my letter and, of course, my own. Supporting Shreya and Saffron, reaching out and alleviating loneliness ... these things brings me closer to God and give me hope at a time when I need it.
Here's that link again for Letters Against Isolation. (Hint, hint.) I first found out about LAI from Bev at Funny the World. Thank you, Bev!
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| Click here. |
When I went to check it out, I found two catnip toys and a canister of spilled treats. Not included in the photo, but nearby, was Roy Hobbs. He was sprawled out and blissed out, and he regretted nothing.
8) Also in 1972, the first women were permitted to run in the Boston marathon. Have you ever visited Boston? Yes. I love Boston! So historic, so walkable. I'd love to go back.
9) Random summertime question: Would you prefer to swim in a pool, a lake/river, or the ocean? Pool. I'm not crazy about beaches and sand.
Thirteen facts about passwords and security. Passwords are a part of our day-to-day lives, so let's look at how to (and how not to) create them.
1. Make them longer. The longer the password, the harder it is to remember. On the other hand, the longer the password, the harder it is for hackers. It's best to put them in the double digits.
2. Don't put your password on a sticky note on your computer. If someone steals your computer, they have your password. Duh. Yet I have a pink post-it with my work password right here.
3. Use at least a little imagination. Two of the most common passwords are 123456 and Password.
4. The keyboard should not be your guide. Qwerty and Poiuyt are also common passwords.
5. Don't be typical. Hackers report that women tend to use proper names as passwords, men tend to use hobbies.
6. Use your favorite quotes or lyrics. They are easy for you to remember, and likely hard for a stranger to guess. Example: Are you a fan of 1972's The Godfather? Try this as your password -- Imhaohcr72. "I made him an offer he couldn't refuse" is the quote, 1972 is the year the movie came out. Love Elvis? Yanbahd56 ("You ain't nothing but a hound dog," from 1956).
7. Your routine could provide your passwords. Think about things you do every day that could yield passwords. 8:10Train or Dinner@6:30 would be easy for you to remember but hard for a hacker to guess.
8. Substitute symbols for letters.
You want to immortalize your childhood pup, Fido. He was a good boy and Fidogoodboy1 is easy to remember. But making a simple change -- substituting a 0 for the o and going from Fidogoodboy1 to Fid0goodboy1 -- will slow hackers down.
9. Don't use the same password everywhere. Yeah, I do it more than I should, too.
10. Mix it up a little. Redfiretruck1 may be obvious and easy to figure out. 1Firetruckred could be tougher.
11. Combine words that may be meaningless to someone else but make sense to you. Your first boyfriend was Dan. You have no idea where he is today, but you remember he drank Coors and his house number was 950. Voila! Who but you would know the significance of Dancoors950?
12. Change your passwords regularly. Four times a year is good. Yes, that does sound like a lot of work.
13. Always log out of your online bank accounts. Don't just close the window. Log out!
Hope this helps you keep your information safe.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
I had dinner with Elaine last night. This represents the third time I've gone out with friends this month. To borrow a phrase from my friend Nancy, I'm finally starting to "people" again.
We had $3 margaritas at Madison Tavern. We split the spinach artichoke app and then she had a chopped salad and I had fish and chips.* I insisted on paying the bill because ...
Look what Elaine brought me and Roy Hobbs! It's a virtually new carrier that she got for her cat but it hasn't worked out. Her cat takes many, many trips to the vet and I guess he bounces around too much in there. That will not be a problem for Roy Hobbs, as he's more than 15 lbs. (far bigger than the average house cat).
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| It's a hit with Roy Hobbs! |
1. What are you currently reading? Dead Center by David Rosenfelt. I love these Andy Carpenter mysteries! Andy is a defense attorney in Patterson, NJ. The love of his life, former cop Laurie Collins, has moved back home to the midwest to follow her dream of being a police chief. She invited Andy to go with her, he sadly refused, and now he's heart broken. He may be depressed, but this book is anything but depressing. Andy trying to date again after many, many years is very funny.
Since this is a murder mystery, someone's got to get dead. The unlucky souls lived in Findlay, WI. A suspect was arrested by Chief Laurie Collins. But here's the hitch: in her heart, she doesn't believe he did it. She turns to her ex, Andy, for help, and we're off!
Andy is smart, but not brilliant (this is no Poirot or Nero Wolfe). He's not capable of derring do (his interest in athletics is limited to drinking beer and eating wings with the game on). He's not even exceptionally brave. But he's a funny man with a solid moral compass who loves his dog, Tara. And his girlfriend, Laurie. I'm not very deep into this but I know two things: 1) Andy will make smile and 2) he and Laurie will get back together somehow.
2. What did you just finish reading? Girls on Film by Alicia Malone. A host on the TCM (Turner Classic Movies) cable channel, Alicia Malone takes us on a tour of her life, her career, and the classic movies that influenced her. And I loved every moment!
Marilyn Monroe to Elizabeth Taylor to Ingrid Bergman to Drew Barrymore ... these women and their onscreen personae helped teach Alicia what the world expected of women, and of her. (And of me!) She points out that almost all classic movies and most contemporary cinema is made by men. Most film criticism is written by men. So even though many of the famous female stars were influential and had agency, they didn't completely control the narrative.
This is heady, eye-opening stuff. But in Alicia's hands, it's also entertaining and easy to understand. Her passion for the subject is real, and the personal stories of how these movies effected her personal and career choices bring the material to life. If you're interested in pop culture and its impact, this book is for you.
3. What will you read next? Non-fiction.
1. Would you rather eat pizza every day or never eat pizza again?
Every day! Though I'm not sure my gastrointestinal tract would appreciate it.
2. Would you rather stay forever at your current age or be 10 years younger? 10 years younger. If I knew then what I know now ...
3. Would you rather have too many friends or too few?
Too many. (Though I don't think that's possible.)
4. Would you rather have no taste buds or be blind?
Blind. I'm thinking back to when I had covid in 2020. No taste/no smell is really depressing. More so than I would have imagined.
5. Would you rather never hear music again or lose the ability to read? Oh, I hate this question! I suppose I'd rather lose the ability to read, because I could still listen to audiobooks and podcasts.
6. Would you rather speak “whale” or read babies’ minds? Read babies' minds.
7. Would you rather be the richest person or the smartest?
Richest.
8. Would you rather create history or delete it?
Create history! No deleting here, despite what Fox News and Twitter want you to believe. (January 6 was an insurrection, not a handful of unruly hooligans. Wake up!)
9. Would you rather create a great piece of art and not get credit or get credit for a piece of art you didn’t create?
Create and not get credit. I'm in marketing. Every time I pick a product up off the shelf I am aware that a team created that package -- from the words to the logo to type fonts. Every package is a collaboration and a miracle. And no one thinks about it, no one gets credit.
10. Would you rather age from the neck up, or from the neck down? Neck up. Not that I'm happy about the wrinkles, but I'd love to have my younger back and gut back.
11. Would you rather see the world but live in poverty or stay in one place and live rich?
I'm afraid I don't get this question. Are you asking if I'd rather be rich if it meant the entire world would be plunged into poverty? Of course not! (Of course, maybe I don't get the question.)
12. Would you rather become famous or powerful?
Powerful. I'd hate being famous. Too much harsh scrutiny. I'd like to think that I could be a powerful, yet still decent person.
13. Would you rather be a creative person or a technical person?
I have no interest in the technical side of things.
14. Would you rather get a paper cut whenever you touch paper or bit your tongue whenever you eat something?
Paper cut.
15. Would you rather wake up in the morning looking like a giraffe or a kangaroo? Kangaroo! I think jumping would be fun.
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| You know you want to. |
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| Read the full story here |
The 22-year-old who painted this on the back of his mom's house was able to legally purchase a Smith & Wesson M&P15 semi-automatic weapon. Even after he attempted suicide. Even after he threatened his own family and police confiscated a 24" samurai blade and 16 knives.
He used his semi-automatic rifle to gun down citizens at the Highland Park 4th of July parade.
The shock and numbness are wearing off. They are being replaced by anger. The heartache remains.
