I made Aaron cry

I am so happy Aaron is my boss. He listens. He's supportive. He's positive. His attitude has improved mine. 

He mentioned that he's approaching his one-year anniversary with our agency. I told him that I was really glad he's with us ... that I wasn't thrilled when he was hired since I wasn't consulted, but that I'm so happy he's here ... that I didn't realize how unhappy I'd become with my worklife until he came along and changed my outlook for the better.

He thanked me, then removed his glasses and wiped away a tear. 

Aaron could be one of the most genuinely nice people I've ever met. 

 

I wish she could read

Saturday morning I take Connie to the vet. Over the last two weeks, I've concentrated on her gut. I hope that the vet will deem her constipation improved, so we can move on to scheduling dental work (she needs a tooth pulled). 

First I tried the special feline laxative I got from the vet. Emblazoned on the tube: "Tuna flavor cats love!" Connie doesn't love it. I moved on to Miralax, which dissolves completely into her food and made a difference. But I'm not confident that daily dosing of medication is the best thing for her, so I switched to her to all-natural pumpkin puree. Any website will tell you cats and dogs alike love pumpkin. Connie doesn't love it. I can trick her into eating it by mixing it with other food, but she doesn't regard it as the "delicious treat" she's supposed to.

She also doesn't drink enough. Cats are like people, hydration is important to healthy digestion. I bought a special drinking fountain from Amazon. "Cats love moving water!" Connie doesn't love it. I can't even get her to look at it. I added clam juice to her water dish. A veterinarian blogger maintain cats love clam juice so much, the only problem will be getting your furry friend to stop begging for it. Connie doesn't love it. She won't touch it.

I wish Connie could read these packages and websites. Then perhaps she'd be a more willing participant in her own health plan.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? The Couple Next Door by Shari Lapena. Anne and Marco are invited to dinner by the couple next door. At the last moment, their babysitter cancels. Anne wants to stay home with their 6-month-old daughter, but Marco insists they go anyway. It's just next door! Theirs is a row house, they share a wall with their neighbors so they couldn't be any closer. They have a baby monitor so they can hear every noise the baby makes. If little Cora needs them, they can be home in less than two minutes. What could go wrong?

Everything.

This one has lots of twists and turns and is keeping me guessing. Plus, there are a lot of odious people populating these 335 pages. Det. Rasbach and poor Baby Cora are the only characters I like. Everyone else is a suspect! Yes, it's got me hooked.

2. What did you recently finish reading? The Patriarch: The Remarkable Life and Turbulent Times of Joseph P. Kennedy by David Nasaw. Old Joe Kennedy saw an awful lot of life on his way to creating a political dynasty. WWI, the Spanish flu epidemic, the advent of talking films, the Depression, WWII ... These events shaped him and, more than once, he had an impact on his times. I learned a great deal about America as I read about clan's patriarch.

He married the only girl he set his cap for, the girl he started seeing when they were both in their teens, and took her along on his journey to fame and success. Oh yeah, there is no indication that he was ever faithful to her. He was a Vatican insider who met with Popes and conferred with Cardinals and never missed mass, yet didn't hesitate to break a Commandment or two if it suited him. He was an involved and loving father who lobotomized his oldest daughter.

It's during WWII that the hits just start coming. First his second son (the future President) is presumed dead after the Japanese sank his boat. Then his Naval aviator oldest son is killed in a plane crash. Then the oldest daughter's operation goes very, very wrong. Then his son-in-law is killed in action. Then the second daughter dies in a (civilian) plane crash. All within six years. 

Twenty years later, between 1963 and 1969, he saw two sons murdered, a third involved first in a near-fatal plane crash and then in an infamous and scandalous car accident. By now, Joe was debilitated, the victim of a massive stroke.

If I didn't know all these events truly happened, and that Joe Kennedy was at the center of them all, I'd think this was the plot of a Lifetime movie. I enjoyed this book, for all the highs and lows, and wish I'd known Joe Kennedy. He is fascinating.

3. What will you read next? Written in Blood by Diane Fanning. In 2001, Vietnam vet, author and political gadfly Michael Petersen calls 911. His wife, Kathleen, is dead at the foot of the basement stairs. He insists she fell after too many glasses of wine and hit her head on each step on the way down. The police don't believe this for a moment.

I watched Petersen's trial almost daily in 2003. I've wanted to revisit it ever since I heard Colin Firth was going to play Petersen in an upcoming HBO mini-series.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: She's Not There (1964)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a young man who is upset his friends didn't warn him against a girl who turned out to be untrue. Have you ever involved yourself in a friend's love life with advice about a relationship? Yes. No one listens to me, though. As well they shouldn't. I am terrible at relationships. I'm like the Great and Powerful Oz. Pay no attention.

 

 
2) According to legend, this song was inspired by a girl who called off her wedding just weeks before the ceremony, humiliating her fiance and breaking his heart. Do you know anyone who was similarly left at the altar? Yes. A woman I worked with briefly, who glommed onto me like a carbuncle, was madly in love with a  creepazoid. He was remarkably, blatantly and comfortably anti-Semitic, so she and I stopped being friends. ANYWAY, I heard through the grapevine that she was planning a huge wedding. Lots of bridesmaids. The Princess Diana-esque size of the wedding raised some eyebrows because she was closer to 40 than to 20, but "Good for her," I thought. I mean, a Nazi isn't exactly the end of my rainbow, but chacun a son gout. Besides, she wasn't asking me to be a bridesmaid. ANYWAY, I called on Thursday to get my hair cut Saturday, expecting my stylist to laugh at me, and instead he said, "THANK GOD!" The bride and one of her bridesmaids had just cancelled and his Saturday morning was suddenly completely open. The bigoted bridegroom "just wasn't ready." Whatever. Win for me! If I sound heartless, it's only because I can't help thinking she's better off not married to a man who probably spends his Saturday night wearing a bed sheet and burning crosses on lawns.

 

3) The Zombies first played together as a bar band, popular at an English pub called The Blacksmiths Arms. What's the name of your favorite local restaurant or bar? Tapas Valencia. Actually, it's my friend Joanna's favorite. We were just there Friday to celebrate her birthday. The food is very good, they comped us a puff pastry in honor of her birthday, and best of all, because they adhere to social distancing and restaurant capacity restrictions, there was no band last night! Sorry, but I'm seldom in the mood for mariachi music.

4) The Zombies broke up after a few years but put all acrimony

I love matzo balls

behind them in 2019 when they reunited to perform at their induction into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. Have you ever been to Ohio? Yes. I did a presentation for a major vision company headquartered not far from Cincinnati. We didn't get the assignment. I bear Ohio no ill will. I recall a really great bowl of chicken soup at an old-school deli.

5) While 1964 is remembered as the first year of the British Invasion, when rock bands from the UK dominated the airwaves, it was also the year Barbra Streisand became a major star, featured on the covers of both Time and Life. Are there any magazines in your home right now? If so, who is on the cover? I see Windsors smiling up at me. William, Harry, Kate, Meghan ... I've got 'em all. Oh, wait! I spy Daniel Craig over there, too!

6) Also in 1964, actress Ena Hartman became one of the first African American actresses to have a speaking part on the country's top TV Western, Bonanza. Is your TV on right now, as you answer these 9 questions? Mr. Monk is solving a murder. I've seen this one a million times. Which is fine because I'm going back to sleep as soon I as finish these nine.

7) The "It's a Small World" ride was introduced at the 1964 New York World's Fair. It's now at Disneyland, Disney World, Disneyland Paris and Disneyland Hong Kong. Have you ever taken one of these Small World rides? Florida. It's the first Magic Kingdom I visited. No offense, but I loathe that song, so I'm quite sure I didn't repeat the experience in California.

8) General Douglas MacArthur's memoir was published shortly before his death in 1964. It became a best seller. Was the last book you finished fiction or non-fiction? Just yesterday I finished a massive (900 page) biography of Joseph P. Kennedy, the President's father. What a complicated man! He could be a shit and completely wonderful, sometimes on the same page. It's a meticulously researched book that debunks the most common misconception about JPK: He was never a bootlegger. He was a draft dodger, a womanizer and an unscrupulous businessman, but he never went awry of the law. He was too obsessed with maintaining his own, and his sons', political viability to be that reckless professionally. (Now when it came to women ...)

9) Random question: You find yourself calling the local garage often to get updates on your car repair. Every time you call, the person who answers the phone is abrupt to the point of rude. Do you: (1) let the person know you'd appreciate a change in tone; (2) ignore it; (3) complain to the boss? (2a) Try to ignore it but secretly feel bad and somehow responsible for it.

 

Black becomes him

So the Yankees made it to the post-season. By only the absolute slightest margin and at the absolute last minute. But that's OK, it just made it all more exciting.

The guy on the right? That's my Rizz. Takin' selfies during the clubhouse celebration. If he was still a Cub, he'd be cleaning out his locker and planning a return to the links in Florida. So, while my heart is broken that he's gone, I'm happy for him. For he is "Built for October."

 

BTW, my Rizz is 6'3. The guy next to him, Aaron Judge, is 6'7. The player to Judge's immediate left is Tyler Wade. If I were a Bronx high school girl, his picture would be in my locker. The guy on the far left is Brett Gardner. He's been a Yankee forever and, at 38, I don't know how many seasons he has left. I'm happy for him.

But not as happy as I am for Rizz. My favorite most Cub deserves only good things. GO YANKEES!

What some of us live with, day in and day out

I live in Chicagoland. Guns are a way of life here. An ugly way of life. Since Friday, two people were shot dead within five miles of my home. Here are the headlines:

10/1: Teen killed when a vehicle pulled up beside his and opened fire (4 miles from my home)

10/2: 21-year-old man shot by police after he opened fire on a house (2.5 miles from my home)

Those are the just the gun-related deaths within 5 miles. In two days. 

Since September 27, there have been 17 gun fatalities within the City of Chicago. That's in one week, folks. It's so bloody here that, to be very honest, I don't even remember most of the gun violence I hear on the local news anymore. I'm inured to the carnage, the way people who work in a slaughterhouse must be.

Yes, Illinois has very strict gun laws. But they are ineffective because of the flow of money and weapons through porous state borders. Most of the guns used in crimes here been resold, and came in illegally from Indiana and Kentucky. (Gee, thanks neighbors!)

This is what I live with, every day. So please don't expect me to relate when you tell me that a riot that took place near you, more than a year ago, changed your mind about owning a handgun. I'm sorry you were frightened more than a year ago, but people are being shot and killed every day here. (Remember, I'm only talking about fatalities here, not shootings. The number of shootings is, obviously, much higher.)

By the way, a man was killed in the summer 2020 riot, 3 miles from here. I had to look it up. I didn't even recall it specifically. There are too many gun deaths around here for it to stand out.

Wouldn't it be nice?

If owning a gun makes you feel safe, if knowing you have the power not only to protect but to destroy makes you feel better, that's your legal right. I'm not disputing the Second Amendment, which appears clear and definitive.

But in my heart, I believe the world would be a better place if we could melt every fucking handgun down and make carousel horses with the metal. 

Sunday Stealing

 Stolen from Facebook

 1. Do you like bleu cheese? Nope

2. Coke or Pepsi?  Coke

3. Do you own a gun? Nope. Nor would I ever.

4. Hot dogs or cheeseburgers? I like them both. It depends on my mood and how hungry I am.

5. Favorite type of food? I like the aforementioned hot dogs and cheeseburgers.

6. What do you drink in the morning? Water and milk.

7. Can you do a 100 pushups? Oh my goodness, no!

8. Tattoos? No

9. Do you wear glasses? Yes.

10. Phobia? Well, now that you mention it, I hate guns.

11. Piercings? One in each ear lobe.

12. Can you whistle? Nope.

13. Surgeries? One major, several minor.

14. Like gambling? Sure. I just don't bet very much.

15. Do you like to dance? Yes, but I do it badly.

Saturday 9

 Cheeseburger in Paradise (1978)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Jimmy briefly attempts a healthier diet, which included sunflower seeds, carrot juice, zucchini and bulgur wheat. Do you pay attention to your daily consumption of vitamins, minerals, dietary fiber, etc.? I have a history of gut trouble, so I do try to make more fiber-wise choices. I should drink more water, and those fiber tablets aren't helping me sitting on my kitchen counter, are they?

2) Jimmy sings that he'd like french fries with his burger. Do you prefer to dip your fries or drizzle the ketchup over them? I dip.

3) Which cheese would make yours a cheeseburger in paradise: American, cheddar, Swiss, bleu, Muenster, or Monterrey Jack? I like the visual of yellow cheese on my burger, so I'll have cheddar or American, please.

 
4) Buffett fans call themselves Parrotheads. Concert attire for a well-dressed Parrothead often includes a Hawaiian shirt and a foam fin hat. What will you be wearing tonight? I'm doing this Friday night, but I can predict what I'll be wearing Saturday night: Jeans and a t-shirt. I'll go out on a limb and say that's what I'll be wearing Sunday night, too!

 

5) For someone with such an easygoing and laidback vibe, Jimmy is a very busy man. His business ventures include liquors, restaurants and hotels. He's also published eight books. All this in addition to making music! On a scale of 1 to 10 -- with 1 being lazy and 10 being highly motivated -- how would you rate yourself this morning? 1. I'm a slug.

 

6) Jimmy has some very famous fans. Paul McCartney asked him to play at one of his parties, and Barack Obama invited him to perform at a fundraiser. If you could invite anyone -- anyone at all! -- to play at your party, who would you ask? Sir Paul would be nice, certainly. Strumming and singing and telling stories. Sigh. That would be a dream come true for me.

7) Jimmy was born on Christmas Day. Does your birthday fall on a major holiday? If yes, do you mind "sharing" your special day? My birthday often falls on Thanksgiving. When I was a kid and through my 20s, I hated it. But now it just seems convenient.

8) In 1978, the year this song was popular, the Susan B. Anthony Dollar was first minted. The initial design was not a hit with the public because vending machines could not accept it. What's the last thing you bought from a vending machine? I don't know if this counts, but I am forever shoving quarters into the coin slots in our shared washers and dryers.

9) Random question -- If today's your birthday, your zodiac sign is Libra. When did you last check your horoscope? I used to check it every morning on the train as I read the paper while riding the rails to work. But since I've been working from home, I haven't been reading the printed paper, so it's been over a year.

People can surprise you

My little man's pawprint

 ... at least when it comes to cats. The reactions to the passing of Reynaldo have surprised me. For good and for bad. Let's start with the good.

I've gotten sympathy cards, which in and of itself isn't surprising. One from the ER vet, another from my vet and his staff. But then it got surprising.  

Snarkypants sent a card and shared that she made a contribution to her local animal shelter in Reynaldo's memory. Now that was special! For I have been thinking a lot about how Rey and I got together. Someone tossed that little beige kitten aside like a dirty kleenex and he ended up at the shelter. Yes, he was an extraordinary behavior problem at times, but that's only because he had an extraordinary motor inside him. It occurs to me that whoever let him go missed out on so much -- so much spirit, so much personality, so much love. I'm grateful to Snarkela that she (and Rey) have now helped another cat find the home he deserves.

The top spot is now empty

My cousin Rose sent a card, too. Not a big deal, in that I know she loves me and she hates when I hurt. But Rose can be crusty and she's not a pet person. So I was surprised and touched by how she addressed it. The envelope had both my name and Connie's. Inside she mentioned a Facebook post where I showed how reluctant Connie was to take over Reynaldo's perch on the kitty condo. She said she realized that Connie missed him, too. It was very sensitive of her. 

Then there's my friend John. He hates animals. Probably cats more than dogs, but he's pretty equal opportunity. The fur and drool and pooper scoopers and litter boxes horrify him. In his apartment building, if the elevator doors open and he sees a dog in the car, he'll let it pass and wait for the next one, rather than share the space with the leashed creature. So when he began leaving me messages after Rey died, I responded with a text thanking him for reaching out. I didn't want to actually talk to him. I was afraid he wouldn't get it and ask me something offensive, like, "how much does it cost to off a cat?"

I couldn't have been more wrong. He insisted on talking to me, and said that he was sorry because he knows "how much you loved that cat. I was glad you had him for company when you had covid." That bowled me over for a couple reasons. First, like Rose, he was responding not out of empathy but because he cares about me. Second, we spend so much time concentrating on his health problems that I forget the impact my battle with covid had on him. John loves me as much as I love him. I just forget that at times.

Now for the bad. I find it hard to say Reynaldo's name, so I don't like to actually talk about it. Consequently, I specifically requested the two coworkers who know why I took the day off last week -- my boss and my art director -- not tell anyone what happened. Everyone at work knew Rey (he was famous for crashing Zoom meetings), and I just can't listen to condolences without crying and I refuse to cry in front of coworkers. So again, I specifically said, "please don't share this with anyone." My boss was good as his word. My art director? 

There was an afterwork party last night. Held outdoors to celebrate the announcement that the office will reopen on November 1. For reasons tied to public transportation, I couldn't make it in time. My art director did go. She called me this morning to give me the gossipy lowdown. Mostly we talked about how happy people were to see her looking so good. She deserved all those accolades. She has handled her battle with cancer with courage and grace. Also, my art director can be a little competitive, and I was happy she could bask in the well-deserved attention and enjoy it solo.

But then she started talking to Mary. Mary is new to our agency and is in charge of creative resourcing. We're creatives, so she will be influential in our work lives. Mary and I Zoomed a few times and found we had important things in common: cats and the Cubs. My art director has no interest in either of those things. So, floundering for something to say, my art director told Mary I wasn't at the party because my cat died. "But," she said, "I told Mary he'd lived a full life."

First of all, I didn't miss the party because of Reynaldo. It had to do with the train schedule. Secondly, I specifically and clearly requested she not tell anyone about Reynaldo. How could, "please don't share this with anyone" be misunderstood? 

The boss at work

I was upset, but then I told myself not to be too hard on her. After all, my art director did bravely handle her cancer battle and no one is perfect.

Then I logged into my work email and there was a message from Mary, offering her condolences on the loss of my "beloved orange tomcat." Rey had crashed Mary's and my Zoom meetings, and it was nice of her to remember him.

Now I'm upset again. This is my hurt. To share or not share. It's shouldn't be reduced to a conversation gambit over wine and prosciutto.

Finally!

Congratulations to Anthony Rizzo! My favorite most Cub (now a Yankee) hit a landmark home run last night in Toronto. It's been a long time coming. He hadn't had a home run in three weeks, to the day. 

I am relieved and happy for him. I only wish he'd done it wearing blue. Of course, with three games to go as a Yankee he's looking at the play-offs. If he was still a Cub, he'd be looking at three games to go until he could concentrate on his golf game.

Obsessed

I'm praying for poop

I have been thinking a lot about poop. Last night, in fact, I woke up pre-dawn, worried about it.

I took Connie to the vet Saturday. It was bittersweet, since it was an appointment I'd made for poor Reynaldo. But she needed her rabies shot, and hadn't had a good, thorough once over since Summer 2020.

There's good news and bad news. The good news is that her weight is fine, her eyes are clear, her heart and lungs sound good. Yay!

The bad news is she needs dental work. Not a surprise, not unusual. AND Connie was constipated. Palpating her belly and gut, the vet could feel the stool. Again, that was Saturday morning.

Since Saturday morning (it's now Thursday afternoon) she's only pooped twice. According to the vet, this is not normal. She sent me home with a laxative gel and said our goal was to get Connie defecating daily. She said in passing that if we can't establish a more stable pattern, we should do x-rays and see if there are tumors or obstructions. 

Now she said this as she was drawing blood. She was offhand about it. But naturally, coming so soon after I lost Reynaldo, it captured my attention. So I've been dosing her Miralax, which is tasteless so it's not an issue. The laxative gel is a no-go, Connie simply won't have that. I've been giving her pumpkin straight from the can, which is a natural kitty laxative. Sometimes she'll eat that, sometimes she won't.

And I check her litter box. Obsessively. Hoping to shovel poop. Mostly I'm disappointed.

Trying not to freak out. First of all, while Connie is not young (she's 9, or 52 in human years) she's not as old as Rey was. So problems won't become dire as quickly for her as they did for him. Secondly, the vet did a complete blood panel and everything came back good. She's lively and affectionate, cuddling and playing with me every day. Also, where Rey was a thrill junkie who actually enjoyed car rides and being handled by the vet, Connie is a stereotypical fraidy-cat. It exhausts and stresses her. Exhaustion and stress aren't good for gut trouble.

So we're taking a wait-and-see approach. I'm keeping a diary of her meds and her poops (unfortunately still more meds than poops) until Saturday the 16th. Then we return to the vet for next steps. Hopefully by then her output will be fine and we can schedule her tooth extraction.

Yes, I've just written a 400-word Valentine to cat turds. The things we do for love!

Sunday Stealing

Stolen from Bun Toting Librarian

1.      When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? "No zits."

2.      What shirt are you wearing? The TCM t-shirt I wear as pajamas.

3.      Do you label yourself? I could think of adjectives that describe me, if called upon to do so.

4.      What does your watch look like? It's an old school Timex with a purple band.

5.      What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

6.      Last furry thing you touched? My Connie cat.

7.      Favorite age you have been so far? 35. My career had really taken off, I was in love and felt very sexy.

8.      What is your current desktop picture? A New Yorker representation of my work-from-home life.

9.   If you had to choose between $1,000,000 or to be able to fly what would it be? I'll take the money. If I was younger, and could look at a longer lifetime of flight, I might choose differently.

10.  The last song you listened to? "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"

11.  What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Pout

12.  Would you move for the person you loved? Yes

13.  Name three things that you have on you at all times? Every time I leave the house I have keys, glasses and mask.

14.  What’s your favorite town/city? Chicago!

15.  Does anything hurt on your body right now? Hurt? No. But my back itches.

 

"I remember Cub games with you!"

So said both of my friend Kathleen's kids to me today. We were celebrating her son (now -- gulp! -- 30) and his bride with a belated couple's shower in Kathleen's backyard. Naturally the groom's kid sister (now -- gulp! -- 27) was there, and very proud of the desserts she made for the party. I've known them all their lives but haven't seen them in years. 

I held Kathleen's hand at the hospital when she went into labor with her daughter. I stayed with her until her husband got there, then I went to the daycare center and picked up her son (now the bridegroom!). I'm the one who told the preschooler that he had a sister. 

I can think of birthday parties and trips to the zoo with these kids. Their dad is a Brit, so over the years we've celebrated Boxing Day together. Yet they each mentioned to me separately that they had "the best time" at Wrigley Field with me. There are worse ways to be remembered.

On a separate note: today would have been my uncle's 80th birthday. It was nice to celebrate on this day again. And in person! I realize that Zoom has helped us stay in touch and has enabled business as usual during the pandemic, but I have missed seeing people in three dimensions.

September is the cruelest month

... or at least the most expensive. So far this month, I've spent about $900 I hadn't intended to.

•  Easing Reynaldo out of life cost money. It's part of being a responsible pet parent. I don't regret trying to keep him as comfortable as possible as long as possible, but that means trips to the vet and the ER, plus the cost of Uber rides.

•  Keeping Connie legal cost money. Gotta keep my girl cat legal, and today she got her 3-year rabies shot. In addition, I asked the vet to do bloodwork. She's getting older, too, and I want to keep her healthy. I should have budgeted for this, but I didn't.

•  My new Moto G Power phone cost money. I suppose I should have seen this one coming. Wednesday, when I was at the ER with Reynaldo, my phone was very glitchy. I got it to work and kinda forgot about the problems. This morning, it was losing power even as it was charging. By the time Connie and I were ready to leave the vet, it was dead. Fortunately it was a beautiful fall day and we could walk it so I didn't really need my phone. But I'd need it for 1:00 this afternoon, so off to Target I went. I would have preferred to pay the $7/month offered by Consumer Cellular for ordering online, but because I was trying to beat the clock, I had to pay for the whole thing at once. (The Consumer Cellular phone rep helped me get up and running in less than an hour -- their customer service is stellar -- and it is a good phone for the price. I just wasn't prepared to spend this.)

I've got about $900 in my emergency fund, but I don't want to use that. I save that for household expenses -- like appliance repairs or an emergency condo assessment -- where I may need to pay cash. So I put this on my credit card.

It used to be that I looked at purchases like the ones above as why I have credit cards. The closer I get to retirement, the less sanguine I am with carrying debt. On the other hand, as my neighbor told me when I told him my tale of woe about the phone, "We do what we need to do." He's right. I don't see how I had any choice with any of the above. It won't take me that long to pay this off. And it's money that had to be spent.

Photo by rawpixel.com - www.freepik.com

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Cardigan (2020)

1) When she's feeling low, Taylor Swift compares herself to an old cardigan, forgotten under the bed. Do you store anything under your bed? Or do you try to keep that area clear (except for dust bunnies)? Yes. There's stuff under there. I've volunteered on quite a few political campaigns and there are buttons and posters, etc. down there.

2) The lyrics begin with a reference to a new phone. Do you foresee yourself getting a new phone before 2021 ends? Or are you happy with the one you've got? My current phone is fine. I may get a new one, but only if the price is very right.
 
3) She sings that her lover haunts all of her "what if's." Have you recently wondered, "what if?" What were you musing about? I was looking back over how I used/endured/wasted all the time I've had at home during covid. Am I the only one who didn't redecorate her home or learn to bake sourdough bread?

4) Taylor Swift admits that she rewinds after concerts by watching Friends reruns. What do you do to relax? Watch baseball or cuddle a cat.

5) Thinking of TV shows, Taylor appeared on a 2009 episode of CSI. That series was about crime-scene investigators who use forensics to solve murders. Do you enjoy crime shows? Yes. I can always get into Law & Order or NCIS.

6) Taylor grew up on an 11-acre tree farm where she learned to ride. Her mother was a horsewoman and hoped riding was a passion they could share. When she was 12, Taylor admitted to her mother that she really wasn't that into it and wished she could spend more time on her music. Her mother was supportive. Tell us about a tough conversation you've had that turned out well. Last month I had the "Naomi Osaka" conversation with my friend, Mindy. I told her I wasn't OK, that I'd been struggling with things emotionally, and I really needed her to be my friend. She stepped up 100%. I was relieved, since it's hard for me to be vulnerable.

7) She enjoys good, old-fashioned mysteries, especially those by Agatha Christie. Are you currently reading a book? I'm reading a massive biography of Joseph P. Kennedy, head of the clan we all know. It's a roller coaster. Just when you're sure he's the crummiest guy ever, he does something so wise or so creative that you rethink him.

8) In 2020, the year this song was released, Jeopardy host Alex Trebek died. The search for a new host has caused interest and even controversy. Would you enjoy the job? No. I cannot bear the thought of seeing myself on TV. Remember Chandler's joke when he saw home movies of high school Monica? "The camera adds fifteen pounds," she said defensively. "How many cameras were on you?" he asked.

9) Random question: Of Superman's three superpowers -- tremendous strength, the ability to fly, and x-ray vision -- which would you choose? Strength. Imagine, never again having to wrestle with a jar.

 

Friday, 9:30 AM, and I'm still in bed

 

"Take some space, Gal." So wrote my boss in yesterday afternoon's email. "The Cubs are playing tomorrow, right? Order some takeout and watch the game." 

If we'd all been at the office, I would have taken time off to recover from losing Reynaldo because I cry unexpectedly. But with work-from-home, I'm able to write and sniffle. So I have been. But that night when I decided I couldn't let Rey live this way anymore, I knocked off some digital banners* and sent my ideas to my boss Wednesday morning. At 6:30 AM, as I was getting ready to take Reynaldo to the Emergency Vet and the end. In my email, I told my boss I'd check in with him again, via email, after I returned home, carrier empty.

He of course responded that I didn't have to, but I thought I did. He and his girlfriend just moved from an apartment to a house, he hadn't taken any time off, and was working amid boxes. I didn't want to be unfair to him.

Rey in meeting prep

Yesterday I sent him my revised manuscript and asked him for input. He responded that he would take care of it from here, and that I should "take some space." I know he kinda knew Reynaldo because my cat used to crash our Zoom meetings all the time. My coworker Jane refers to Rey as "the boss." But still, this was an extraordinarily kind thing for my boss to do.

I've been surrounded by kindness. Which is good, because I need it.

•  Wednesday morning, in the drizzle, as Reynaldo and I were waiting for the Lyft and his final car ride, a couple walked by, sharing an umbrella and looking like a greeting card. They stopped, the woman peered in and asked his name. "Reynaldo is a cutie," she said. He always liked new people, he knew his name, and even though he was very weak, he turned to lock bright eyes with her. I was grateful that they stopped and that she used his name, not "Kitty."

•  Shortly after he was gone, I was outside at the Emergency Vet, trying to get my phone to work so I could call a car and get the fuck home. Phones always crap out at the worst time, don't they? Anyway, as I was fighting with it, a woman came up beside me and said, "Hi. I'd kill for your hair. Where do you get it done?" Now it was still humid and drizzling, and she still liked my hair! As my phone was restarting, I told her how to find Tony. It was a nice respite from how awful I felt with that empty carrier beside me.

•  People slag Facebook all the time, but I have to tell you that reading the condolences truly made me feel better. Real-life friends, people I met at the TCM Film Festival but haven't seen since 2019, coworkers who drifted away, even both of my sisters chimed in. I loved seeing the parade of names and comments.

•  My oldest friend sent me flowers. She told me she admired my courage in doing right by my little man, and that now Reynaldo was atop The Rainbow Bridge, merrily knocking shit over as he waits for me. She is broke, she has health problems, and yet she did this!

• This blog. Lisa, Country Dew, Kwizgiver, Stacy, and Project 19 all chimed in and lifted my spirits. Thank you, ladies.

He weighed less than 5 lbs. at the end, but my buddy had a larger-than-life impact on me. And I am so grateful for the kindnesses I have received since we had to say goodbye.

*Someone actually writes those animated ads that appear off to the side of the web page you're looking at. Someone like me. And we're usually on a deadline because clients tend to only think of those ads at the last minute.

OK, so he wasn't a good boy

Reynaldo's last photo, Tuesday night

 Reynaldo died this morning. We ended our time together as we often dozed off together: "holding hands." Ever since he was a kitten, he liked squeezing my finger between the pads of paws.

I loved him very much and I miss him enormously. My home feels desperately empty without him. But I cannot honestly say he was a good boy.

From where I sit I can see the gouges on the furniture as he jumped up where he didn't belong to knock items noisily to the floor.

When I get up in the middle of the night tonight (as I invariably will) I'll have to remind myself that it's now safe to flush. For if Reynaldo heard me, he'd come bounding into the bathroom to herald the dawning of the new day. He'd be so insistent that it was time for fresh water, breakfast, conversation and head rubs -- even if it was 3:30 AM -- that I was afraid to alert him.

I'll never again be frightened by a crashing sound from the kitchen. Rey would have to get up on the counter to knock down the drip tray from the George Foreman grill. There was salmon juice in there once. It could happen again!

The handled basket in the dining room? It's falling apart. Why? Because if he was bored and I wasn't paying attention to him, he'd slither across the dining room table and knock it over. I'd yell at him and he'd stare at me, eyes bright. Any attention was good attention to Reynaldo.

The photos I once displayed are now in a box because he turned the frames into cat toys. I got tired of cleaning up the glass and then replacing them.

To the world, he was my cat. But he and I knew the truth: we were roommates. He never fully accepted me as the alpha. We were equals. What I considered "naughty," he regarded as his only response to my bad behavior.

But he was endlessly affectionate. He literally loved my face. He would gaze at me, nuzzle my ear. He often reached for me, touching me with a white paw, just to reassure himself that I was here and I loved him. 

And when confronted by all the unconditional love, I could not stay angry. So I learned to be patient. I learned to accept. That was Reynaldo's gift to me.

He wasn't a good boy, but he was my perfect buddy. 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? The Patriarch: The Remarkable Life and Turbulent Times of Joseph P. Kennedy by David Nasaw. Today he's known as a father, and his brood of overachievers included a President, two Senators, an Ambassador and a world renowned philanthropist. Not bad! But, as this book points out, his story would be worth telling even without the accomplishments of his kids. Imaginative and relentlessly ambitious, he made fortunes in banking, investing, real estate and motion pictures. He was a public servant and diplomat. Just reading about him is exhausting. The man was a tornado.

Jacqueline Kennedy once said that "men are such a combination of good and evil." She may have been talking about her father in law. Example: Joe Kennedy did everything he could to stay out of WWI. Simply because he didn't want to go. He was a draft dodger, it was no more complicated than that. He took a job he was unqualified for at a Massachusetts shipyard and used connections to have it declared vital to the war effort, getting him a draft deferment he didn't deserve. Legal, but amoral and sleazy. Then during the Spanish flu epidemic, he worked tirelessly to convert the shipyard dormitories into infirmaries to quarantine the sick. It was a creative solution with literally life saving results. His whole life was like this. As I read, I ping-pong between, "shame on you" and "way to go!"

This is a reread. I'm not sure why it called out to me so noisily, but it did, and so here I am. It's a fair minded and fascinating read. 

BTW, Joseph Kennedy wore many hats professionally but he was NEVER a bootlegger! Nasaw puts that one to bed rather neatly. If you read much about the Kennedys, you learn to separate the wheat from the chaff. But this is one of the most baseless yet most tenacious false charges. It annoys me because Nasaw is able to debunk it so completely. Why do other biographers keep lazily picking it up?

2. What did you recently finish reading? Convicted by Lisa Scottoline. This book has everything! Murder, scandal, dark secrets, romance and a trial. It's one of those books I couldn't wait to get back to.

Back when Jason was just 12 -- young enough to still play with Legos -- he receives a draconian sentence for a minor infraction. Bennie Rosato represents the kid but it all goes terribly wrong and Jason ends up spending his teen years in juvie. 13 years later, Bennie's the head of one of Philadelphia's top law firms and Jason is the suspect in a gruesome knife murder. She takes his case because a) she feels responsible and b) here's her chance to make it right and c) SPOILER! it involves the man who got away.

This book tackles important topics, like whether incarceration ever rehabilitates a kid and who profits from for-profit prisons. But it's got enough Christmas shopping, candlelight kisses, and old-fashioned courtroom drama to keep you hooked. I really didn't like the ending -- it was more Perry Mason than Law & Order -- but I still recommend it. Even if you're not familiar with the characters in the series, this entry stands alone.

3. What will you read next? I don't know.