Saturday 9

I See Love (2010)

Unfamiliar with this week's song. Hear it here.

1) This is the theme from Mike and Molly, a TV show that ran from 2010 to 2016. Were you a fan? No. I watched it a couple of times over the years and never found it funny. Which is strange, because I enjoy Melissa McCarthy on the big screen.

2) Molly was played by Melissa McCarthy. Today she's one of Hollywood's best-paid actresses, but when she began her career, she was barely scraping by. She recently recalled the time when, as a struggling actress, she was rejected at the ATM because it only gave out $20s and she didn't have even that much in her checking account. How often do you visit the ATM? Several times a week? Several times a month? Never? Several times/week. This question makes me think of my mom. She never used an ATM, not once in her life. She was intimidated by technology. Last year, when I worked at the library charity book sale, I met another woman like that. For her, it was an almost political decision. She won't use ATMs if a teller is on duty and she won't use self checkout at the grocery store. She wants to preserve jobs.




3) When she was broke, Melissa couldn't afford blueberries and avocados.  Now she savors them. When you're a few bucks ahead, what do you splurge on? Oh, golly. Before the pandemic, I would have said good grub at a nice restaurant. Or maybe I'd specify Stoli instead of the well vodka. Now I'll go with the really durable paper towels, like Viva or Bounty.

4) Mike was played by Billy Gardell. He was working at a comedy club, cleaning the bathrooms and answering the phone. He used to crack jokes with other employees and finally one of his coworkers dared him to go onstage on "open mic night." A comedy career was born. Tell us about someone who pushed you to make the right move. Back on August 11, my art director pushed me to speak up more forcefully and make myself heard at work. She was right. I'm grateful to her.

5) On the show, Mike's best friend was his fellow officer, Carl McMillan. Carl was not especially motivated and still lived with his grandmother, well into his 30s. How old were you when you moved out of the house for good? 18


6) Mike's and Molly's mothers are different as night and day and frequently did not get along. Have you ever had in-law trouble? No, because I've never had in-laws.

7) This week's song was written by Keb Mo. He switches among several different guitars when he works -- electric, acoustic and resonator. Can you play guitar? Nope.

8) In 2010, when this show premiered, Apple introduced the iPad. Do you use a tablet? I couldn't wait to get one. I used my Kindle for less than a year and put it aside. I don't even know where it is.

9) This week's random question gives you an opportunity to brag: What's something you do better than most people? I'd be great at an animal shelter. Like Ellie Mae, I'm good with critters.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 21

Today's happiness --  The good old days. I admit that it's getting to me. I try to remember that we're all in this pandemic together ... that -- for the most part -- we're each doing the best we can ... that I'm lucky to be healthy and working ... that staying home, wearing a mask and social distancing is for the public good.

But just because I'm patriotic doesn't mean I'm a saint. I miss my old life! I want to watch blockbuster movies in a cool, dark theater ... go to Wrigley Field with my nephew ... visit the Chicago History Museum with John ... wander the River Walk with Joanna ... work the annual summer library book sale ... I miss doing things and seeing people without worrying about exposure to the corona virus.

Today I took action. I went to my favorite neighborhood bar. I hadn't been there since February. They had outdoor seating and a limited lunch menu, but the noonday sun was getting hot so I asked if I could go in. It was almost silent in there. All the booths were blocked off with caution tape, and there were only three slots at the bar.

No matter. I read my magazine and watched golf (even though I had no idea what I was looking at) and very happily enjoyed the shrimp basket and a Coke. It felt so good to be perched on that tall stool again. So normal.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

I wish people weren't jerks

A former coworker was going through a tough time. He lost his job, his dad's health took a turn for the worse and moved in with him, and all this stress took a terrible toll on his marriage. After his dad died, his wife left him. He was, understandably, shattered.

Then he met Theresa. She's positive and full of energy. They got married and opened their own fabric/yarn shop about 90 miles outside Chicago. They're both highly artistic and visual people and put all their considerable talents in launching this small business. Then guess what: the pandemic struck. They're struggling, but they have managed to keep their doors open.

Theresa is not only a smart businesswoman, she's a mother. She wants everyone who enters her shop -- customers as well as employees -- safe. It's the right thing to do, and it's good business.

Earlier this week, she had such a distressing run in. Theresa told a woman who placed an order by phone that, when she came to the store to pick up her thread, she had to wear a mask. Yes, a store employee would be happy to walk the order out to her car and wait while she checked it for accuracy, but the customer had to wear a mask when she engaged with the employee.

Theresa reiterated the policy in the confirmation email she sent to the customer.

You already know what follows, don't you? The customer showed up at the curb, rolled down her window, and wasn't wearing a mask. Since Theresa believed her employee's safety was her primary concern, she went out with the order herself. She handed the bag to the maskless woman through her car window and wordlessly turned and walked away.

The woman was furious! Theresa was supposed to stand there when the customer checked her order! "Well," Theresa responded, "You were supposed to wear a mask."

The customer wrote a snotty Google review, saying the store was rude. Google reviews matter to fledgling, independent businesses. It was a crappy thing for the customer to do. And bad Covid19 karma.

Why do people do this? Why do they engage retail establishments and openly flout rules they know are in place? Don't try that tired old "I have asthma" routine with me. If your breathing is that compromised, you're too fragile to interact during a pandemic and should do all your shopping online. (And yes, Theresa would have shipped the thread USPS.)

What a fucking bully! How else do you describe someone who needs to score pyrrhic political points so badly that they're willing to wreck the day of someone who is there to serve them and only makes minimum wage? Do they care about what this business means to Theresa and her family? Or are they so filled with hubris that their "individuality" means more than the comfort and safety of the people they meet?

I applaud Theresa. And I'm happy to report that, out of 23 Google reviews, 22 are 5-star.

In praise of virtual conventions

I really enjoyed this week's virtual DNC precisely because there was no audience. Four years ago, the Sanders supporters were jackasses, and on national TV. In 2016, they booed every speaker of color who came to the podium* because they were "puppets of the establishment" for supporting the "pre-ordained coronation of Hillary Clinton." Never mind that they should have been applauding the diversity of the Democratic Party, and respected the outcome of the primary process (Hillary won 34 states to Bernie's 23; it really wasn't even close). Instead of wondering why Bernie didn't resonate with with Black voters, they booed and bitched and whined about conspiracies and oligarchs. And guess what: the Democratic Party was fractured and we got Trump. Happy now, Progressives?

At this year's convention, we celebrated not only only Black lives but Black votes. It's true that Joe Biden did not do well in Iowa or New Hampshire. It's also true that both Iowa and New Hampshire are overwhelmingly white. Once Joe got to South Carolina, and began connecting with his natural constituency, the votes rolled in. Instead of wondering why Bernie still doesn't resonate with with Black voters, I'm hearing petulance. Again.

Thankfully, most voters who watched or streamed the convention don't hear the Twitterverse bellyaching. What they saw was a Party coming together around a venerable standard bearer, a public servant who knows how government works and actually wants it to work, a decent man to whom empathy comes easily.

And most Americans saw Kamala Harris for the first time. Only the fourth woman to ever be on the national ticket. The first woman of color. Progress is what you're supposed to applaud, Progressives! I'm so excited to see a former prosector who is tough and knows corruption when she sees it. I love when she invokes her old courtroom introduction: Kamala Harris for the people.

This fall, I'm proud to vote for grace and grit. I'm choosing sense and stability. I'm glad I'm Ridin' with Biden.

*Except, as I recall, the Obamas.

August Happiness Challege -- Day 20

Today's happiness -- Time flew. I was busy with work today. My assignment was to promote a very complicated, highly-regulated product in a series of short (very short) emails. This was hard to do. I did it well ... at least I hope I did. But here's the thing: the first time I looked up, it was 11:00. I didn't stop again until my computer reminded me it was time for my 2:00 meeting. Then in no time, it felt like the day was over and it was time for me to turn my work product over to my art director.

I love it when I feel challenged, when I'm in the zone. On days like this, I realize there will be things about working I'll miss when I retire. I won't miss the office politics. But I will miss the work.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 19

Today's happiness -- A letter from Darius. He's the convict I correspond with through my church's prison penpal program. I hadn't heard from him in weeks, and I was worried. I've read that  few Illinois prisons have tested inmates for the corona virus, and I was afraid he'd become another victim of the pandemic.

He wrote a lonely, melancholy letter. But he's as healthy as he was in July. The whole point of this program is that he can take comfort in knowing someone out here cares about him. I realized when I saw that envelope today that I do.

PS But I don't care how lonely he says he is, I'm not going to visit him. He and I are never, ever going to be an episode of Love After Lock Up. ☺


Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 18

Today's happiness -- Not so bad. Two things happened Tuesday that had me REALLY nervous with anticipation. The first had to do with the condo board elections, the second was a Zoom meeting at work.

Guess what. They both turned out to be nothingburgers.Yes, I'm finally learning something here, at this late stage in my life: I waste too much time worrying about things in advance, fretting over that which I have no control.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there

I say a little prayer

Rev. Jay died. He came into my life when I needed him, and he made a difference. I'm glad he is at peace and at rest with God.

In the 1990s, I was confused and hurting. I knew instinctively that I needed a stronger relationship with God, knew I wanted to worship in a formal setting, but I didn't have a church. The congregation I grew up in was a disappointment to me. It seemed dedicated less to the Lord and more to advancing itself. I dropped away, thinking I could pray and worship on my own.

I was lost.

I wandered to the church nearest me. It was not the faith I was raised in, but I felt welcome. I hanged back, sang the hymns,* prayed and felt better. Especially after the sermons. The minister -- a slight, balding man -- was very cerebral. But he kept bringing us back to this: we're part of a congregation, a community, a country and a planet. We have a responsibility to each. In his quiet, low-key way, he struck a chord.

He convinced me to take religious training and formally convert. I loved our talks. He was so brainy and so smart, he helped harness my emotion. He listened to my questions and helped me find my own answers on my own journey. He understood and celebrated my independence. Because he was born gay but raised a Jesuit -- leaving him with his own crisis of faith -- he believed it was vital for each of us to find our own way to celebrate God and serve our fellow man.

He was with our congregation for ten years in all. In 2002, his mother's health took a precipitous turn and he went back to Massachusetts to be near her. I took this very badly. That was childish of me. I hope he knew my petulance was a reflection of how much he'd come to mean to me.

I like my "new" minister well enough. It occurs to me that I've been with my "new" minister for 18 years now, while I was with Rev. Jay only 8. Yet I still think of Rev. Jay as my minister. I always will.

*OK, I admit I lip synch.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 17

Today's happiness -- Bloggy support. Yesterday I wrote an overlong post about my oldest friend. I poured it all out because I was hurting, and words are how I process pain.

Instead of going all TLDR -- which would have been very understandable -- some women read it. And then made sensitive comments. It meant a lot to me.

So thank you, ladies. Having your "cyber ears" helped and I appreciate each one of you.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there

Look what Bud did!

Click here and tell Bud you love it

Bud dug up a golden goodie blast from his blogging past. I hope we can convince him to do it every week. Bud's got a unique voice and we could use him.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Why are my eyes so puffy?

2. What shirt are you wearing? 

3. Do you label yourself? I'm a Boomer and an aunt and a niece and friend and a Liberal and a Christian and a loyal American and a Cub fan and a Paul girl ...

4. What does your watch look like? I have many watches. I don't wear them anymore because I don't want to ick them up with hand sanitizer. Besides, I don't really have to be anywhere by a specific time these days.


5. What were you doing at midnight last night? Snoring.

6. Last furry thing you touched? My cat Connie.

7. Favorite age you have been so far? 35. I felt womanly and sexy.

8. What is your current desktop picture? The cats.

9. If you had to choose between $1,000,000 or to be able to fly what would it be? The money. And now I've got the song going through my head. "If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars); I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house) ..."


10. The last song you listened to? "Love Takes Time" by Orleans

11. What time of day were you born? On the stroke of midnight. Which doesn't legally exist because it's neither day. My mom was asked to choose between 11:59 PM on Thursday or 12:01 AM on Friday. She chose Friday.

12. Where did you live in 1987? In a teeny tiny studio apartment. Fourth floor walk up. Tub with no shower. It goes for $900/month now! (I wouldn't pay that.)

 13. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Feel frustrated because there really isn't anything you can do.

 
14. Would you move for the person you loved? Yes. I almost did twice. First to Fremont, California. Then to Philadelphia. The relationships fell apart before the altar. Had nothing to do with Fremont or Philly. (Though Fremont did strike me as a pit.)

15. Name three things that you have on you at all times? Keys, mask and ... hell, I'll just grab my purse and then I'll have everything I will ever need.

16. What’s your favorite town/city? This one. Chicago. Home of the first place Chicago Cubs (though they are struggling just now).

17. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Yesterday I had a turkey sandwich at Potbelly's and paid cash.

18. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Friday I mailed a handwritten note to my Cousin Rose. We're Facebook Friends, but still exchange letters.


19. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear? I don't remember. I just bought a garnet red duster for my niece's wedding. I'm wearing it over a matching cami and black leggings I have to shorten the sleeves, but other than that, I'm happy with it.
 
20. Does anything hurt on your body right now? My skin is dry. Where's my Nivea?

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 16

Today's happiness -- My girlcat. On Day 4, I wrote a valentine to  Reynaldo. Today it's Connie's turn.

She is sweet. This afternoon, I took a nap, and when I woke up, there she was, at my feet. It was like she sensed I had the blues and needed a little support.

She doesn't beg like Rey does. She just looks at me soulfully and hopes I will do the right thing.

She's our first line of defense against flying insects, the mesh laundry bag I use to wash my linens, and any other threat she can spy.

And she chats and likes to give kisses.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there

Of course I'll forgive her

I'm in a mood. Maybe it's because my Cubs just lost their consecutive third one-run game. Or perhaps it's because I don't approve of the movies TCM scheduled for Cary Grant day on Summer Under the Stars. (What? No Penny Serenade?)

Or maybe it's because I'm still pissed at my oldest friend, and I don't know what to do about it. I love her so much and don't know where to put all these feelings.

Over 4th of July weekend, she and I had a great conversation. It was lively and funny. I felt so grounded in the world because I was so connected to her. She's been my friend since Kindergarten, and our relationship is important to me.

During that call I confessed how scared I was about the lump in my breast. At that point I had 2 1/2 weeks to go until the mammogram and was terrified. She was comforting and loving.

Then I heard nothing from her. For weeks and weeks and weeks. I called and left messages. She never picked up.

I wanted us to discuss whether I should go to my niece's bridal shower. My oldest friend knows my niece and my sister, and how complicated my relationship is with the latter. And the mammogram and lump! She knows how, after going with breast cancer with my friends Kathleen and Barb, for me it's not a question of "why me?" it's "why not me?"

Nothing.

She's unemployed. It's not like I'm keeping her from anything. I'm just not important. This hurts.

Finally, on July 28, she wrote me a chatty email about how excited she is about her new phone. Now she'll be able to tell who's been calling her!* She detailed her ongoing medical issues, filled me in about her writing, and explained that she's had problems with depression because her doctor switched her meds.

I get depression. I know it's real, I know it can be debilitating. If that had been the end of her correspondence, I wouldn't be upset.

But no, she wrote absolutely stupid shit about me. How did I feel about the Cubs season being cancelled? REALLY? The Cubs season is in full swing! She asked whether I'm worried about going back to the office. Nothing about my niece's shower, nothing about my breast. Nothing relevant or personal about me. She doesn't care.

Then she goes on Facebook and posts something chirpy to a former coworker about how delightful her life is, now that she's "retired." Really? With me, she's filled with self loathing because she was let go, can't find another job, and is unable to pay rent or make car payments. With me, she's crippled by depression and barely able to function. On Facebook she's happier than she's ever been in her life! (And too busy and popular to look at the six -- count 'em, six! -- photos of my niece's bridal shower.)

Last week, her aunt died out there in So Cal. She texted me today that auntie's ashes will be buried in here in Chicagoland when "it's safer to fly." Oh, goodie! She's going to expect to stay with me, isn't she? Maybe I don't want houseguests from a corona virus hotspot, during Covid19. Maybe I don't want houseguests at all, since my den is such a mess.

Maybe I want to feel like a part of this relationship, and not just a sweater she only reaches for when she feels chilly.

I'm so angry. I'm so hurt. I miss her so much.

She's my funny friend. My touchstone. The one I went sledding with when that teeny-tiny slope still looked like a big hill.

Of course I'll forgive her. But first I have to forgive myself for being sooooooooo fucking angry and hurt.

And, really, TCM. You couldn't give me Father Goose on Cary Grant day? Cary himself said it was his favorite performance!

*This smacks of plausible deniability. She wants me to excuse her not picking up.

Sunday Stealing

15 from Friday 5

1. What makes it easy to talk to someone? It helps if the person is open and engaged. My coworker Kara always says, "I hear 'ya!" That makes her my favorite.

 2. Have you ever had a great conversation with a complete stranger? More than a decade ago, I had the best seatmate on a flight to (I think) Atlanta. She worked for Cook County, specializing in elder abuse and was often appointed by the court to represent those who cannot handle their own affairs. At the time, my favorite uncle was deteriorating rapidly and, I was sure, being fleeced by his caregivers. There was little I could do about it, since both my uncle and my mother were convinced the caregivers were kind and wonderful. I unburdened myself about the situation and she listened patiently. She told me that what my family was going through was sadly common, that judges know it when they see it, and once a guardian/administrator is appointed, things would get better. I took comfort in that, and it turns out she was right. The following winter, a guardian was indeed appointed and, it turned out, told the court my uncle was being "exploited" and that his caregivers had helped themselves to his checking and savings accounts. If it hadn't been for that guardian, my uncle would likely have lost his house, too.

 3. Do you like to argue? No. I like it when everyone agrees with me.

  4. Some people like to talk about things, and some people like to do things. Which are you? And some people like to fart around on the internet while watching movies. I'm one of those people.

  5. Who is easier to talk to – men or women? Friends: women. Strangers: men. In striking up small talk, I find it easy to talk sports.

  6. What is your favorite place? 

  7. What is your favorite place in your home? I really do enjoy my morning shower, singing with the shower radio.

  8. Would you most want to live in a city, a suburb or the country? I want to live as close to the city as possible.

  9. What is special about the town you live in? This sign is on lawns all over town, and it sums it up.

10. How much time do you spend in nature? I'm no nature girl. However, I live with cats and with their independent feline spirits, they bring nature indoors.

  11. Do you make up a dinner plan for the coming week? Kinda. In as much as frozen meats have to be defrosted in advance. This week, I'm having beef.

  12. Do you make up a grocery shopping list and stick to it when shopping? I make a list. I don't always refer to it in the store, but I find the act of writing it down helps me remember.

  13. What is one thing that you always buy, but never write down on a list? Gerber baby food. My cat Connie's meds melt so well into the turkey.

  14. Is there anything that you always think you are out of and come home with it to discover you already have a year’s supply on hand? For a while, I was buying barbecue sauce all the time. I've stopped. Now I will run out.

  15. Do you get your groceries delivered? I did. I don't anymore, because stores are so often out of what I'm looking for and I have to punt. My nephew has been working for Instacart this summer, and he reports that people who have their groceries delivered are good tippers.

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 15

Today's happiness -- Getting my geek on. I found a PBS documentary about JFK that somehow escaped me. Produced in 2017 for the President's centennial. It began with footage and a story I'd never heard before: when he was 19, he and brother Joe spent the spring on a ranch in Arizona. Here's young Jack mending fences and herding cattle and, literally, building a small, one-room office building. He jokingly called the structure, The House that Jack Built, and from there the special took its name.

The documentary spent more time than I would have liked on the assassination, but on the other hand it included more visuals I'd never seen before. I love new-to-me photos. I love having alone time to indulge my geeky side.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Who Are You? (1977)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song, originally recorded by The Who, was the theme of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, which ran from 2000 to 2015. Did you watch it? Were you a fan? Never saw it.

2) When the show premiered, Gil Grissom (William Petersen) was the CSI team's supervisor. Gil's mother was deaf, and so he was fluent in American Sign Language. Can you communicate using ASL?  Back in grammar school, I learned the ASL alphabet to earn a badge for Girl Scouts. I can still do it. Now that I'm an old broad, it amazes me how memory works. I mean, I can spell out the word "jump" in ASL after all these years, but I have to check and re-check what time today's Cub game comes on.

3) His assistant is blood-splatter analyst Catherine Willows (Marg Helgenberger). Catherine's family moved often, which made it hard for her to get traction in her studies. She finally just dropped out of high school. She later got her GED, and even graduated from college. Have you ever considered going back to school? Yes and no. As a member of both the Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy Presidential Libraries, I've discovered a ton of digital learning events. (There are blessings to be found during these strange days if you'll just look for them.) The Presidential libraries have introduced me to Road Scholars, an educational travel group designed for older adults. So after I retire, I'd like to physically revisit my favorite Presidential libraries and travel as a Road Scholar. It would be a commitment to learning, but not in a university setting.

 
4) Though set in Las Vegas, most of CSI was filmed in Santa Clarita, CA. Santa Clarita is also home to Six Flags Magic Mountain amusement park. Do you enjoy roller coasters? Love them!

5) The vocalist on the CSI theme, Roger Daltry of the Who, made a cameo appearance on the show during season 7. Do you have a favorite Who song? It's a tie between "Pinball Wizard" and their cover of "Summertime Blues."

6) CSI became a franchise, followed by CSI: Miami and CSI: New York. If we could organize a Saturday 9 field trip, which of these CSI cities would you prefer we visit: Las Vegas, Miami or New York? Right now, I don't want to go anywhere! But when I'm convinced it's safe, I'd like to return to New York. Gov. Cuomo is doing such a great job. Let's reward him and throw a few travel dollars his way.

7) In 2000, the last original Peanuts comic strip was published. How many Peanuts characters can you name? Linus, Lucy, Charlies Brown, Snoopy, Woodstock, Peppermint Patty, Pigpen. That's 8.

8) Also in 2000, media giant Time Warner merged with America Online, the email provider. It's estimated that 74% of us check our email at least once/day. Are you one of the 74%? Oh yes! I'm working from home, so I check it constantly.

9) Random question -- Did you more recently cut and paste, or delete? Delete.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 14

Today's happiness -- Cousin Rose.  The Cubs were on Fox Thursday night and my cousin watched. For me. This morning she posted on Facebook that, "Your Rizzo is one adorable kid."

Rose exasperates me beyond measure sometimes. But she loves me. Has loved me since the moment I was born. As time goes on, relationships fade/change and people die,  I cherish this more. 

I handwrote her a letter today because she likes getting mail in my hand. It's my way of showing her I love her, too.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there

Isn't she lovely?

Today the Cubs won. Again. That's 9 win in the last 10 games. Even better, my guys are all still safe from the corona virus.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 13

Today's happiness -- Putting the wheels in motion. I made a list, took photos, and sent them off to Cute Handyman. We're going to agree on a day, before the end of September, for him to come over and replace two ceiling fans, rewire an outlet and install my new smoke detector. Estimated time: four hours.

No, the work hasn't been completed yet. But I identified the projects and hired the contractor. I'm moving in the right direction.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

Not with my lambikins, you don't!

My oldest friend has always wanted to be a writer. Ever since we were little, we wrote stories and made little books. I made words my career, she kept it as a hobby. Now that she's no longer working, she's dived into Wattpad, a social media site for free fiction.*

I found one of her stories and realized I couldn't read it objectively. I know her too well. To me, it was just a series of Rorschach ink blots. Why, if my real-life friend believed she had to move to Southern California to be happy, does she plop her fictional alter ego in Chicago? Why, with her heart problems, does she glamorize smoking, for fuck's sake? Why did she change the name of one of her kids but not the other? And do I really say "fuck" that often? (Oh wait. Yes, I do.)

Anyway, I don't think I'll confess to her that I read it. I'll continue to ask her about her writing and encourage her, but until she puts a manuscript in my inbox, I'm exercising plausible deniabilty.

None of which is the point of this rambling post. I did read someone else's story. Start to (more or less) finish. It was fan fiction about my favorite Cub, Anthony Rizzo.

At first, I enjoyed it. The girl who wrote it clearly has a crush on him, which amused me. My feelings for Rizz are strictly of the maternal he's-such-a-nice-boy variety, but I remember being more than a little in love with several Cubs (from Joe Pepitone in the 70s to Mark Grace in the 90s).

Her romance story began when an as-yet unmarried Rizz famously climbed into the stands to catch the ball. In her story, he landed on her and gave her a concussion. He checks on her. They exchange phone numbers and begin a texting friendship that blossoms into love. She writes about his boyishness and has him playing a lot of video games (he's told us he can't get enough Call of Duty) and sharing lasagna and ice cream. My favorite part was when her fictional Anthony asks his dad for dating advice.


It was sweet. Unrealistic, of course. During the summer, when the Cubs are in town, he can't just go out for ice cream without fans approaching him for his autograph. There was nothing about his cancer battle -- which he admits has defined him as much as baseball -- nor his charity work. But OK. It's fan fiction and it was charming.

Then they have sex. Of course they do. It's her fantasy and besides, sex is what healthy, happy, normal young people have. But I wasn't prepared for my reaction to what she wrote. I DO NOT want to think about the size of Anthony Rizzo's erection! I don't want anyone else thinking about it either. And I want her to stop detailing where he places his "calloused fingers" and how it felt. No, no, no!

Stop it! No dirty thoughts allowed!

The game happened to be on while I was reading her story. I felt so embarrassed for real-life Rizz. There are literally 10,000+ of Anthony Rizzo romance stories on Wattpad. Has he seen them? Have his teammates seen them? Is it mortifying or flattering? Has his bride Emily seen this stuff? Are there more sites that publish erotic romance stories about my darling Rizzo?

There are six times as many Kris Bryant love stories on Wattpad. I can't stand it.

Who knew I was such a prude?

*I'd prefer her to take classes and treat writing like a craft, but what the hell. She's happy and she's gotten encouragement from an online community and maybe I shouldn't be so bossy.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 12

Today's happiness -- The good mac and cheese. I like to donate macaroni and cheese to the local food pantry. So many of the neighbors that depend on the pantry have kids, and kids like mac and cheese. Busy parents can whip up mac and cheese in no time.
 

Sometimes, though, I feel bad because while Kraft comes in a colorful box (and sometimes features characters like Minions or the Paw Patrol), it really isn't the best meal choice for the wee ones.
 

So today I was totally tickled to find Annie's Macaroni & Cheese -- organic pasta with no artificial colors/flavors -- was on sale at CVS. Between the price reduction and my coupon, I only paid (wait for it!) 57¢!

I love it when doing good feels better.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.