Tears and Nosebleeds

Donald Trump is getting ready to take his first international trip as President. As I understand it, he's hitting Saudi Arabia, Israel, and Italy. I am sincerely worried about him ... and us. He has exhibited bad judgement recently, while sitting in his own home(s). What will happen to him when he's out of his comfort zone?

He's a 70-year-old man, after all. I remember the passages in Historic Conversations where First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy discussed her Spring 1962 trip to Pakistan and India. She clearly treasured the experience and was proud of how she represented her husband and her country on this solo trip abroad, but she went out of her way to include how exhausting the experience was.

At 32, she was less than half Trump's age. While the events on her schedule certainly had diplomatic import, there was nothing of consequence about policy. And yet she reported tears of exhaustion followed by nosebleeds before retiring every night.

Saudi Arabia, Israel, the Vatican ... what toll will these high profile stops with high powered leaders take on Donald Trump? Can he handle it?

BTW, here's a link to the Kennedy Library's film of Jackie's trip. I'm impressed by what a game performer she was when she stepped onto the public stage. You'd never know you were watching an inherently shy, admittedly exhausted woman who missed her small children desperately. I think her poise was fueled by her understanding of American history and respect for her place in it.

Sunday Stealing

 Sunday Stealing: The Getting to Know You Questions

1. What is your occupation right now? How long have you been there? I am an advertising writer. I've done it a very long time. My first ad was for Granny's Rheumatiz Remedy back in December 1861.
2. Favorite rock band. Ever.

Look how cute!

3. What are you listening to right now? George Stephanapolous is about to interview Ken Starr. Considering that George worked in the Clinton White House, this could be very weird.

4. Last person you spoke to on the phone. What was it about? My friends in Key West. They just took out their marriage license! YEA!

5. How old are you today? Or make up a question. This one bites. Do you believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone?

6. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Go, Cubs, go!

7. What is your favorite drink? Coke

8. Have you ever dyed your hair? I did it myself for decades. Right now I have highlights, and they're professionally done.

9. Favorite food? Last night I had shrimp and it was very good. So I'll say grilled shrimp with lemon butter.

10. What is the last movie you watched? Union Pacific (1939). It was fun -- a little too long -- but it was entertaining. Robert Preston and Joel McCrea reminded me of Newman and Redford.

 

11. Favorite day of the year? My birthday.

12. How do you vent anger? I drink and swear.
13. What was your favorite toy as a child? My Lassie dog. We were inseparable.

14. Living arrangements? (Of course your pets count. Geez!) Me, Reynaldo and Connie share this 2BR condo.

15. What was the last thing that you cried about? I thought Reynaldo was sick. He wasn't.

16. Who is the friend you have had the longest? I've known my oldest friend for 55 years.

17. What did you do last night? I saw Union Pacific and then went out for dinner with members of my movie group.

18. What are you most afraid of? Airline travel.

19. In how many areas of your country have you lived? What's your favorite? Just this one. Obviously it suits me.

20. What is your favorite flower? (Ugh. Quite the note to go out on. But hell, we steal the questions. I guess you get what you pay for.) I like carnations. They're pretty and they last.

 

Why I'm mad at myself

So far this year, I've spent $300 on Cubs tickets.  $100 for a seat for the game I'm going to with John in June. $200 for two seats for the game I'm taking my nephew to in July.

And that's for the tickets alone. I'll spend more on hotdogs, beer, Cracker Jack, etc.

I am stunned by how expensive it is to go to The Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field. I get it, of course. My team is crazy popular* and it plays in one of the smaller parks. Intellectually understanding it doesn't mean I accept it emotionally, especially as I'm trying to economize.

And this is part of why I'm mad at myself over Friday. I stopped at the ATM for weekend cash. A woman approached me -- invading my space and making me uncomfortable -- and started to tell me about how little her job at Walgreens pays her.

"Ma'am," I said, cutting her off, "I've had a long week and I've got a train to catch. Here." I gave her the dollar I had in my pocket. I'd intended to add it to my transit card, but I figured it would help her more ... and make her get away from me.

She just stared at George Washington but didn't thank me. "If you don't want it, give it back," I snapped.

"I want it," she said, "but it's not enough."

"Then give it back," I repeated.

"Oh, I want it."

"Look, I didn't have to stop for you," I said, walking past her.

"Thank you, ma'am," she called after me.

"Finally!" I said, over my shoulder.

Look, I didn't have to stop for you. Oh, listen to me. I'm such a fucking saint because I broke my stride and acknowledged a fellow human being.

Did I have to cut her off and put the dollar in her hand? Maybe she wanted to be heard.

And haven't I just spent $300 on Cubs tickets? If I can afford that, why shouldn't I help the less fortunate?

I worry about my finances and my future. I hope if I'm ever in her position -- and I may well be -- I hope I meet someone who has a kinder heart than I did Friday.

I know that it's done. I know that I can't undo it. I know that many people wouldn't give her anything at all. And I know her aggressive approach and attitude added to the situation. All of this is true, and I can't change any of it.

But I can change my heart.

Someone once asked my what I "got" from being a believer, from being a Christian. Yes, I believe in Eternal Life and His unconditional love. But there's also this: I want to make choices that would make Christ happy. I didn't do that Friday. That's why the incident has been a constant discomfort, like a pebble in my shoe, ever since.

*Though my heroes aren't doing so well in the standings just now.

Saturday 9

Mama Can't Buy You Love (1979)

1) This week's artist, Elton John, was made an Office of Arts and Letters -- one of France's highest honors for people who have contributed significantly to the arts. What's the most recent compliment you received? The two other members of my condo board told me last night they didn't believe I was "anywhere near" as old as I say I am. I'd like to say it's because of my youthful, dewy appearance, but I suspect it's because of my casual use of profanity. Oh well, a compliment is a compliment and I accept it ... as graciously as shit, if I do say so myself.

 
2) In 2013, Elton had to cancel an international concert tour because he had an appendectomy. Do you still have your appendix? Yes.

3) In 1979, Elton John was the first Western rock star to tour the Soviet Union. Would you like to visit Russia? There are places I'm more eager to visit.

4) Elton and his mother hadn't spoken in years but he reached out to her and healed their beach in honor of her 90th birthday in 2015. Who is the oldest person you know? The neighbor at the end of the hallway is 90.


5) Flowers and plants are popular on Mother's Day. How is your yard or garden? Is it green and/or blooming? I don't have a much of a garden here, but I recently walked past my old apartment building and was heartened to see how green everything was. And then I got sad. One of the younger trees (maybe 20 years old?) is probably coming down soon. There's a shopping center going up in the lot next door and the poor tree is pretty close to where ground will broken. It left me melancholy to see it waving blithely in the breeze, unaware of its upcoming fate.
 

 
6) Mother's Day is a big holiday for card shops. So are birthdays, weddings, and St. Patrick's Day. Hallmark sells greetings for everything from "Congratulations on Your New Job" to "Happy Retirement." Who received the most recent card you bought? Our admin, for Administrative Professionals Day last month.


7) Sam's mother is very careful when she unwraps presents because she likes to save

money by to reusing wrapping paper and gift bags. Tell us one way that you economize. Chicago now has a 7¢ bag tax. To avoid it, I've got a plastic bag in the bottom of my purse in all times.

 
8) Mother Winters used to scold Crazy Sam for leaving her dirty dishes in the sink. Sam admits it: as a grown up, she still leaves dirty dishes in the sink. How about you? Is your sink or dishwasher empty? I've got a plate, some silver and some tupperware in the sink right now.

9) RANDOM QUESTION: What size mattress do you sleep on -- twin, full, queen or king? Full. And I need to buy a new one. The one I have is ten years old and much the worse for wear.

ONEWORD: Struggling with My Focus

Yup, this photo just about sums it up.

Chuck, an art director I once worked with, explains this away by saying we're creatives, and a creative's brain is like his or her desktop: we always have too many windows open at once.

OK, that's an explanation, but not an excuse. I have to concentrate on the task at hand and blot out the rest.

Which is why I've just moved that dermatologist bill (dated 4/11 -- GULP!) to my purse, which brings me one step closer to calling their office on Monday. They only billed me for one visit with one doctor, when I had two separate visits with two different doctors in the same practice. I want to know if the second bill is forthcoming and I'll pay them both together. But I imagine my lack of focus makes me appear to them like someone who doesn't intend to pay at all.

FOCUS, GAL, FOCUS!

Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you

I know, I know. My Facebook feed includes progressives. I'm aware that John McCain is a popular punching bag. He's grumpy. He has exhibited a bad temper. But let's be real: his biggest sin is that he is (gasp!) a Republican. That somehow makes it acceptable to compare him to a psychopathic killer from The Sopranos, hence his unfortunate "Johnny Walnuts" nickname. Or to characterize his cantankerous nature by referring to him as "Gran Torino," based on Clint Eastwood's 2008 role as a perpetually angry "get off my lawn" neighbor.

I give these progressive their own special nickname. I call them "assholes." For, while I disagree with McCain on foreign policy and a woman's right to choose (and I'll be forever pissed at him for plaguing us with Sarah Palin),  I know he is a courageous man who has proven how much he loves this country. I'm not limiting this to his estimable service in Vietnam or his time as a POW. I include way he conducted himself throughout the 2008 campaign, with this exchange being the hallmark. The difference between John McCain and GOP's current standard bearer couldn't be more stark.





If the Congressional investigation into Trump's Russian ties is to continue, post-Comey, the effort has to have the vocal support of prominent Republicans. I wouldn't be surprised if Marco Rubio stepped up to the plate, but he's nowhere near enough.

Lindsey Graham has already spoken up, but he'll need help because he's considered a "Never Trumper."

The one we need to guide us through this waking nightmare is psycho "Johnny Walnuts." Loony ol' "Gran Torino."

I don't doubt he'll do it. I do doubt that progressives will fall over one another to thank him. Assholes.

It's had an impact on my mood

Prior to Tuesday night, the Cubs had lost 4 in a row.

No one on the team had especially distinguished himself in the series against the Yankees, nor in the first game (a blow out) against the Rockies.

How quickly I've become accustomed to winning!

Tonight we won. Once again, I am a happy gal.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Chicago Crazy Questions

1) What was your dream growing up? Oh, it changed often, as it does with most kids. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a columnist for one of the big news weeklies, Time or Newsweek or US News and World Report.

2) What talent do you wish you had? How I wish I could sing.

3) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Vodka/cran.

4) What was the last book you read? 

Here's a review

 

5) Worst Habit? I'm a slob.

6) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? No, because I don't own a car.

7) What is your favorite sport? As Roy Hobbs said in The Natural, "God, I love baseball."

8) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? If I was stuck in an elevator with Bud, I'm sure we'd laugh a great deal.

9) Worst thing to ever happen to you? I wasted a decade of my life in a bad relationship.

10) Tell me one weird fact about you. I can wiggle my right ear, but not my left ear.

11) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? I'd be pissed. I hate unexpected company.

12) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd get my waist back.

13) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? Depends on the crime at hand.

14) Ever been arrested? Nope.

15) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? Finish my bathroom. Put the balance in my retirement fund.

16) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Fart around on the Internet while watching TV.

17) Biggest pet peeve? Her. She didn't pay for two seats, so why is she taking up two seats?

Boo!

 
18) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Independent.

19) Do you believe in/appreciate romance? Theoretically.

 

They didn't look like champions last night

The Cubs winning the World Series has changed my outlook. I used to be able to watch, even enjoy, sloppy games because I didn't see them as sloppy. I viewed them as an opportunity to watch my guys on a field of green, playing America's past time.

Saturday night's game against the Yankees was just a mess. Poorly pitched, badly fielded. (My God! KRIS BRYANT made an error!) It was such a bad game that Joe had our catcher, Miguel Montero, on the mound for the close so he didn't waste any more arms on a losing effort.

That last tidbit about Montero I read this morning. I couldn't watch to the end. When I wanted to reach for a drink to dull the agony, I reached for the remote.



via GIPHY


Oh well, it's a 163-game season. Some are just going to suck. And my guys are still the defending Champions. To borrow from the old song, "No, no they can't take this away from me."

mlb.com

I had the chicken, he had the pizza

Of course. My nephew always has the pizza.

Our little lunch lasted more than three hours. In retrospect, I'm sorry we kept the booth so long. But we had so much to catch up on! And he seemed to be enjoying himself.

He's an avid student of history who began reading about Andrew Jackson last fall and was shocked by how mercurial and violent Old Hickory was. So I knew he'd have a lot to say about our current POTUS (1) admiring Jackson for his "big heart" and (2) thinking that Jackson could have had any impact whatsoever on the Civil War. My nephew is a teenaged boy, so of course he thinks Trump is jerk. (My adolescent years are in my rearview mirror and I thought this news story made Trump look ridiculous, too.)

We talked about his family vacation to Nassau, his cousin's unplanned pregnancy, how much he loves talking to his history teacher between classes and after school, and we lightly touched on the end of his romance with Anna, who has been in his life since pre-school. I would have liked to hear a little more about that -- breaking up in a small town when you have to see your ex at every turn -- but he wanted to go back to politics. How did I feel about calls for Stephen Colbert's ouster? What about the new GOP healthcare plan?

He's so smart. He's so geeky. Those are not two qualities that endear boys to their high school classmates. But he seems happy, at least when he's with me and he can get his geek on with impunity. I just hope he's as happy when he's not with his old auntie.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Tide Is High (1980)
 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song was originally performed in 1966 by a Jamaican band called The

Paragons. Jamaica is the most popular vacation destination in the Caribbean. What's your ideal vacation? (Relaxing on the beach, sightseeing in a new city, skiing the slopes, spending time with family, etc.) I long for a vacation like my last one to Colonial Williamsburg. It was a solo trip, so everything I did I did at my own pace. I began each day doing geeky historical/educational things, or indulging in retail therapy. Then late in the day I went to the spa, swam and got pampered. Sigh.

Colonial Williamsburg: I want to go back!

2) In this song, Debbie Harry sings that she's not the kind of girl who gives up easily. How about you? Do you hang on stubbornly? Or do you know when to say "when?" I don't give up until absolutely forced to.
 
3) Blondie is a group that took it's name from the lead singer's most identifiable characteristic, her hair. If your band was named after your hair, what would it be called? The Highlights.

4) Before her career as a singer took off, Debbie supported herself as a waitress. She even served drinks while wearing bunny ears and tail at The Playboy Club. Have you ever worked in food service? Nope.

5) Debbie points to David Bowie as a major influence on her music and career. What's your favorite Bowie song? "Modern Love."

 

That top-selling 1980 RS cover

6) In 1980, when this song was popular, the best selling issue of Rolling Stone featured Robert Redford on the cover. Who is your all-time favorite actor? I'll go with Redford.

7) In 1980, Ted Turner revolutionized how we watch TV when he introduced CNN. Do you have any subscriptions services in addition to cable -- like Hulu, Amazon Prime or Netflix? Amazon Prime. Don't watch it very much, though.

8) John Lennon was murdered in 1980. Today there's a specially landscaped section of Central Park called Strawberry Fields in his honor. If you had a day to spend in New York, what would you want to see? A Broadway show actually ON BROADWAY, followed by dinner afterward at one of those restaurants I've only ever read about. 

9) We're going shopping! Which do you need to add to your wardrobe: underwear, shoes or a swimsuit? I need them all! 

The Friday 56

The Friday 56

Rules:
*Grab a book, any book.
*Turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader
(If you have to improvise, that's ok.)
*Find any sentence, (or few, just don't spoil it)
*Post it.
    

 

From On Borrowed Time, page 56. Our heroine, librarian Lindsey Norris, unexpectedly finds herself in a speedboat in the middle of the night, racing through the darkness.

"Isn't this dangerous?" she cried over the wind that tore at her hair and clothes.

"More so for them than for us," Sully shouted. "I know where the rocks are!"

What a little stinker!

Reynaldo is fine! The vet checked the roof of his mouth, his teeth, his gums, and the alignment of his jaw. Nothing is wrong.

(OK, his eyes have become a little cloudy, but considering his age, that's to be expected.)

The vet suspects Reynaldo got a piece of string between his teeth while playing with his toys and what I saw was just Rey trying to dislodge it.

Since my little feline roommate was very excited by the ride over and made fast friends with the vet tech, I think Rey was just bored and wanted a road trip.

Well, that was a first

Wednesday morning, in the elevator up to the 40th floor, I started to cry. And I don't cry. Certainly not in public.

But you can't blame me. I was provoked. Suzanne said, "Hi. How are you?"

I pulled it together by the time I got to my office (aka The Clown Car). Which is a good thing, because two people were in there already and I didn't want to share this display with a greater audience.

But I was so worried about Reynaldo. Tuesday night and Wednesday morning he actually seemed angry at his face. He was pacing anxiously, stopping to slap the left side of his jaw with his paw. Always up for a treat, he's been begging for and then abandoning extra kibble in his bowl.

He's 13, which is the equivalent of 68 in human years. He's in pain. It's my job, my duty, my responsibility to get to the bottom of this and get him comfort. And yet I couldn't, because there was a 9:30 meeting and I was the center of it.

My boss has made it abundantly clear that he can't/won't handle The Big Project without me. But at Rey's age, he could have anything from a broken tooth to a tumor in his mouth. If it's the latter, it's very serious. I recently discovered that this little beige demon likes to jump on the counter and lick my George Foreman grill, so maybe he burned the inside of his mouth. (Cats are notoriously not forthcoming when it comes to their health.)

After talking to Suzanne and my officemate, I was convinced that I had to get Reynaldo into the vet, and the office would just have to survive without me for a few hours. So Wednesday, I leave at 1:00.

It will probably require follow up appointments. I have tons of vacation time, so that's not the issue. It's The Big Project.

No wonder I have pimples on my chin.

In the meantime, Reynaldo can be as naughty he as wants to be. Knock any shit over you want to, Little Man. Tonight you have complete immunity!

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW.WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.

1. What are you currently reading? On Borrowed Time by Jenn McKinlay. This is a one in a series of mysteries set in a small waterfront community in Connecticut. Our heroine, Lindsey, is the town librarian. Her apartment is in a big house, where her landlady lives downstairs, bakes delicious-smelling cookies and is happy to care for Lindsey's dog. Lindsey regularly meets her friends at the Blue Anchor, the kind of bar where everyone knows your name and they're always glad you came. If I sound like I'm poking fun, it's at myself for enjoying this series. It's depicts an idyllic small-town life I suspect doesn't exist but is fun and comforting to imagine. 

Anyway, in this installment (#5), Lindsey gets an unexpected visit from her brother, who mysteriously drifts into her life and complicates it. As one who never had, but always longed for a brother, I'm enjoying the interplay between them. And, speaking of brothers, I recently finished a book that couldn't be more different ...

2. What did you recently finish reading? In Love with Night by Ronald Steel. This book takes what Bobby Kennedy now stands for -- an end to poverty and a voice for the dispossessed -- and puts it in real-time context. The coalition he built in 1968 fascinates me because I believe it would have carried the day in 2016. Bobby was a hero to the young, minorities and blue collar whites. He was not the darling of "the elites," the  smear on Bernie Sanders, and he wasn't considered the "party establishment," the way Hillary Clinton is. In 1968, those roles were played by Eugene McCarthy and Hubert Humphrey, respectively. Bobby was in his own lane. The nearest thing to him we have today is Joe Biden.

But Joe Biden wasn't our martyred president's brother. As much affection as the Vice President has garnered, it's not the unbridled passion Bobby inspired. The way Kennedy's personal grief fused with the traumatized nation's was powerful ... and not entirely his doing. To quote the book's last line, "The Bobby Myth is our creation, not his."

An examination of how/why Bobby Kennedy remains an icon of liberal politics, In Love with Night is less a biography than a 240-page editorial. I'm glad it concentrates on Bobby's policies and behind-the-scenes maneuvers, not whether or not he shtupped Marilyn. It's on solid ground when it explores the tougher and often ugly side to RFK's emphasis on action and victory. I appreciate how it compares and contrasts emotional, angry RFK and cool, ironic JFK. But for all the attention it pays to Bobby's relationships with his mother, his father and the Catholic Church and how they shaped him, it makes scant mention of his marriage or his 11 children (Ethel was pregnant when he died). I assume his own brood had some impact on him, especially since the family of his genesis influenced him massively.

3.  What will you read next? I don't know.

Sunday Stealing

The Unknown Author Questions

1.   if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? Broadcast News. Holly Hunter's Jane reminds me of me in ways both good and not so good.

2.      have you ever found a blogger who thinks just like you? if so, who? It's not that she thinks just like me, but I feel a great kinship with Kwizgiver.

3.      list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with. While I am a tremendous fangirl, my fandom doesn't work that way. I don't watch LOTR or GOT, I watch the Cubs, who won yesterday.

 And then there's him. Always him.

4.      do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better? At this late date, I don't care. When people mispronounce my last name, I don't even correct them anymore.

5.      do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do? I guess I'm a "human doing," because I am very defined by my job. (See #1.)

6.      are you religious/spiritual? Yes.

7.      do you care about your ethnicity? Not really. 

8.      what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? The B's: The Beatles, Bruce Springsteen, Barbra Streisand.

9.      are you an artist? I write. Does that count?

10.   do you have a creed? The Golden Rule has always worked for me.

11.   describe your ideal day. With me, the perfect day is set by how it starts. I love waking up with nothing I must do. No train to catch. No doctor's appointment or vet's appointment or hair appointment. 

12.   dog person or cat person? I have cats and always will, but I really don't believe in the premise of the question. If I lived in a home with a yard, and could afford a dogsitter or doggy daycare, I'd have a dog, too. Animals are just naturally my buds.

13.   inside or outdoors? Inside. Unless we're talking about The Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field.

14.   are you a musician? Hell, no. I'm tone deaf.

15.   five most influential books over your lifetime. I'm only mentioning one: Saving Graces by Elizabeth Edwards. She writes with breathtaking candor about loss and grief and she taught me by word and example that sharing your pain and fears doesn't make us weak, it strengthens us.

16.   if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same? Probably not. Within my family and my hometown, I was not really encouraged to be myself. I wonder how I would have fared in an environment where I received more support from an early age.

17.   would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”? I don't have a Tumblr account.

18.   what’s your patron-us? I think this is from Harry Potter. I know nothing about Harry Potter.

19.   which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle? See #18.

20.   would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else? See #18.

21.   do you love easily? I love carefully.

22.   list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

•  Farting around on the internet

•  Working

•  Reading

•  Playing with the cats

•  Laundry. OK, that's not accurate. But I feel like I'm forever doing laundry. 

23.   how often would you want to see your family every year? It's not how often, it's how long. I prefer spending no more than three hours at a family gathering. At 3:01, someone reliably says something that annoys me, or I annoy everyone else.

24.   have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone? Sure. The friends I'm like minded with my most comfortable, closest friends.

25.   could you live as a hermit? Yes.

26.   how would you describe your gender/sexuality? Straight. 

27.   do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”? Sure.

28.   on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin? Some days: zero. At times I'm easily annoyable.

29.   three songs that you connect with right now. Again, I'm sharing just one. It's a little known Dusty Springfield gem about love and dreams.

30.   pick one of your favorite quotes. In the immortal words of Groucho Marx: East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.