Look how pretty!

Got this for half price at Kohls. You can't tell from this photo, but there are buttons at the shoulder. This will dress up my jeans and will work from spring all the way into fall. Color me happy.

"It's not an excuse! It's the truth!"

So a fresh-faced young man shouted into his phone. I don't know what he was trying to justify, nor can I be sure what he said was accurate. But it did strike a chord with me, because it reminds me of conversations I used to have all the time with my family in the bad old days.

I've been thinking about those awful days an awful lot. I don't know why, but I don't think it's healthy or productive. I'm thinking of resuming therapy to work through this.

But here's the thing: my shrink retired and moved to Boston. Do I really feel like starting over with someone new?

Also, I'm working hard at digging out of debt. Do I really want to add another monthly bill?

Or am I trying to put a price on health?

Hmmmm ....

Oh, shut up

Many of my Facebook friends follow Jim Wright, a "forward thinking progressive." Sometimes he's funny. His writing is always clever. Usually he's hostile. He is, frankly, too partisan for this old-school liberal. I'm a Kennedy Girl. I think public service is honorable, and I believe compromise yields results. The ideological purity of zealots like Jim Wright (or Steve Bannon) gets into the way of getting things done for the people of this country.

But that's a small quibble, really. He's a good writer and we have free speech in this country. I would prefer people not be seduced into his "us vs. them" worldview because I agree with Barack Obama that what unites us is greater than what divides us. But whatever. I'd also prefer people not obsess on the Kardashians and the Duggars.

But Jim Wright moves from his usual edgy and descends into offensive when he starts in on John McCain. "Johnny Walnuts," as he likes to call him. He makes fun of how, when presented with Trump's ridiculous accusation about President Obama and wiretaps, McCain snarled in his "gravelly war-hero voice" and "shook his gnarled fist in the air."

John McCain cannot shake his gnarled fist in the air because, in 1967:

•  He broke both arms as he ejected from his fiery warplane.

•  He was then captured, and as a POW had his shoulder shattered by one of his captors.

Consequently, John McCain cannot lift his arms. He even needs help to comb his hair.

John McCain in a propaganda photo from Hanoi

Jim Wright's military background doesn't make his Facebook post "informed." It makes it even worse.

Hillary Clinton's "deplorable" label should not be reserved for the alt-right. I was disgusted by Trump mocking Serge Kovaleski of the New York Times, and I'm disgusted by Jim Wright.

Let's try not to become what we hate.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

To participate, and to see how others responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? Chaos by Patricia Cornwell. It feels like forever since I spent any time with Kay Scarpetta. (In fact, it was Bone Bed in 2012.) I see she's back in Massachusetts. She's called upon to solve the mystery of how an otherwise healthy young woman could be killed by lightening on a clear and cloudless moonlit night. I'm looking forward to the usual cast of characters -- Benton, Marino, Lucy - plus Kay's kid sister Dorothy who is visiting from Florida. We don't see much of the irresponsible but more creative sibling. I imagine that having the stylish and madly intelligent Kay as big sister wasn't easy. Looking forward to seeing how their relationship colors the mystery.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Prince Charles, by Sally Bedell Smith. Someone once said that actor Peter Lawford wouldn't even be the star of his own biopic, so overwhelmed was he by the star power of his relationships with Marilyn, JFK and Sinatra. That observation reminded me of Prince Charles, because as I read this book it seemed he was forever being upstaged by his more charismatic relatives. First his beloved mother, The Queen; of course, Diana; his charming sons, William and Harry; now William's photogenic family. It's odd to read a biography of someone who feels rather like a supporting player in his own life story. 

As for the book itself, it was easy to read and interesting. I just wish that, when writing about his first marriage, Ms. Smith didn't stack the deck so neatly in Charles' favor. I appreciate that Diana was mercurial and that the marriage wasn't easy, but I don't see her as a villain. It looks to me as though there were no victors in the War of Waleses, only victims.

 
3.  What will you read next? I don't know. Maybe another biography?

I want

My all-time idol, JBKO, rather cannily observed that, "People like to believe in fairytales." I admit I'm one of those people. And that's why I find these photos so enormously touching.

Here you see Prince Charles and his sons at Diana's funeral. By now Diana and Charles had been long separated and officially divorced. He had returned to the woman Diana believed he never left. She had been involved with James Hewitt, Hasnat Khan, and Dodi Fayed. The rancor between Prince and Princess had abated. It's almost as though space had afforded them the luxury of civility. They spoke often about parenting -- they both loved their boys -- and schedules and royal engagements.

It would be easy to assume that when these photos were taken, Charles' overriding emotion was concern. He was, of course, worried about his sons. He knew he had an official role to perform and he wanted to deserve the respect of his subjects. And I'd believe concern was all that's going on here if not for one thing:

He's wearing a blue suit.

This most hidebound of men certainly knew that Royals wear black and only black for mourning. He owned a black Savile Row suit custom-made for such occasions. But his sons knew he wore the blue suit in tribute to their mother. Diana always told Charles she liked him best in blue.

I want to believe that this Prince understood and respected that he was 19-year-old Diana Spencer's First Love. I just finished a new biography of Prince Charles and it details, excruciatingly, the warfare between husband and wife. The author, clearly pro-Prince, wants us to take sides in the War of the Waleses. I refuse.

The blue suit tells me that he knew she loved him and that, once upon a time, he loved her, too. That they were happy once. Yes, their marriage was doomed from the start. But isn't it possible for even epically incompatible people to be in love, at least for a time?

This old Gal really wants to believe that.

A window into my world

As we prepared for the first major snowfall in months, I went to Walgreens to pick up the essentials:

•  Coke
•  Toilet paper
•  Catfood

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Eight/Ten Questions

TEN TO START:

1. Are you single? Yes

2. Are you happy? At times

 

3. Are you bored?  Seldom

4. Are you naked? At times

 5. Are you a blonde? No

6. Are you moody? At times

7. Are you a lover/hater? Depends

8. Are you hot/cold? Right now, I'm like Goldilocks: "Just right."

9. Are you Irish? Less than 10%.

10. Are you Asian? No.

TEN FACTS:

1. Name: The Gal Herself

2. Nickname: Gal

3. Birth mark: Right thigh

 

4. Hair color: Light brown with highlights

5. Natural hair color: Light brown

6. Eye color: Green

7. Height: 5'2

8. Facebook Mood: Happy all the time, because social media is such a fake place

9. Favorite color: Blue

 

10. One Place to Visit: For some reason, this is what popped into my mind. It's the darling little waterfall at the base of Ouachita Mountain in Hot Springs, AR. I long to go back. It's an intimate, sweet little town and it feels like my secret place. If I had the money, it would be my solo getaway this year. (But I don't have the money.)

 

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

1. Do you believe in love at first sight? "Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time."

2. Do you believe in soul mates? Yes.

4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally? Of course.

5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Regretfully.

6. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.

7. Have you ever liked someone and not told them? Yes.

8. Are you afraid of commitment? Yes.

9. Who was the last person you hugged? My friend, Barb.

10. Who was the last person you kissed? A man I had no business kissing.

TEN THIS OR THAT.

1. Love or lust? Ideally, both.

3. Cats or dogs? Cats. I like dogs, and would have one if I could, but I can't imagine a feline-free life.

4. A few best friends or many regular friends? Best friends.

5. Television or internet?  Internet, because I could watch YouTube.

6. Chinese Or Indian? Chinese.

7. Wild night out or romantic night in?  Romantic night in. If you see Mark Harmon, let him know.

8. Money or Happiness? Ideally, both.

9. Night or day? "Night or day, you are the one. Only you beneath the moon or under the sun." If you see Mark Harmon, let him know.

10. Skype or phone? Phone.

TEN HAVE YOU EVER.

1. Been caught sneaking out? Yes.

2. Been skinny dipping? No.

3. Stolen? No.

4. Bungee jumped? No.

5. Lied to someone you liked? Yes.

 

6. Finished an entire jaw breaker?  Yes.

7. Cheated on a lover (yes kissing counts...)? No.

8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back? Yes.

9. Cried because you lost a pet?  Yes.

10. Wanted to disappear? Yes.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER.

    1.   Smile or eyes? A lover with no eyes would be creepy.

2. Light or dark hair? Dark.

3. Hugs or kisses? Ideally, both.

4. Shorter or taller? There is no one shorter than me.

5. Intelligence or attraction? Intelligence is attractive.

6. Romantic or spontaneous? Spontaneous.

7. Funny or serious? Funny.

8. Older or Younger? There is no one older than me.

9. Outgoing or quiet? Outgoing

10. Sweet or Bad Ass? Sweet. An old "bad ass" is just sad.

TEN HAVE YOU’S.

1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd? If presentations count as performance, yes.
 

2. Ever done drugs? Yes.

3. Ever been pregnant? No.

5. Ever been on a cheer leading team? No.

6. Ever Been on a dance team? No.

7. Ever been on a sports team? Volley ball in junior high. I was dreadful.

8. Ever been in a drama play/production? No.

9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? No.

10. Ever been in a rap video? Why, yes. See if you can spot me. (Clue: I look terrific in uniform.)

 

 

TEN LASTS.

1. Last phone call you made: Walgreens Pharmacy

2. Last person you hung out with: Coworker
 
3. Last person you flirted with: Different coworker

4. Last time you worked: Friday afternoon
 

5. Last person you tackled: Jay Cutler

6. Last person you IM’d: Friend

8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with: This question makes me sad because I missed my movie meetup Saturday night

9. Last thing you missed: My movie meetup Saturday night

10. Last time you did the nasty: I've never considered it nasty

 

There's something about the spinach and cheese croissant

Friday just got away from me. I ate a ton of Girl Scout cookies at my desk, expecting them to hold me over until after my lunchtime workout. Then my boss came in and sat down and I ended up conversing about work instead of working out.

By the time I looked at the clock, it was 2:30. I wasn't really hungry (all those Do-Si-Dos) but I had to get away from my desk for a minute. So I went to the post office and on the way back, stopped at Au Bon Pain.

They didn't have much left to choose from. But I was drawn to the spinach-and-cheese croissant. Hot and gooey. And spinach gave it the patina of nutritious. I snarfed it down without really remembering it. When I got home Friday night, I still wasn't hungry, but had a bowl of cereal for dinner because I didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night, voracious and jonesing for ice cream.

Saturday morning I was soooooo sick. Smelly, voluminous, boy-this-hasn't-happened-in-a-long-time kinda sick. I went back to bed and didn't get up until 1:00. I got it together to go grocery shopping, but that was it. I even missed my classic movie meet-up (and I looooove my classic movie meet-up).

This gave me a lot of time to think. I recall having the ABP spinach and cheese croissant once before.  Guess what happened.

Lesson learned.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Fist City (1968)
 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

Sure, Reynaldo looks angelic

1) This song is about a wife warning another woman off her man. Who received the last warning, of any type, that you issued? I warned my cat, Reynaldo, not to knock that pencil cup onto the floor. He did it anyway.

2) Loretta sings that when her husband picks up trash, he puts it in a garbage can. She's being metaphorical, but we will be literal: If you spot litter on the sidewalk, do you pick it up or just walk on? I don't see trash on the sidewalk often, but there's always an empty potato chip bag or sweet tea bottle on the floor of the el. And I admit I leave it there. I worry about germs. I figure there's a reason why the maintenance workers wear gloves.

3) She taught herself to play guitar. If you could learn something new in 2017, what would it be? I should resume my attempt to learn Spanish. I think understanding and speaking another language would expand my understanding of the world around me.

4) She broke her shoulder in a fall and surgery was required to repair it. When were you last in a hospital? Were you a patient or a visitor? I spent a little time with my friend, Barb. Her husband was in the hospital.

5) In the 1970s, Loretta Lynn was the first country singer to appear on the cover of Newsweek. Who is your favorite country singer? Garth Brooks. And this is my favorite Garth Brooks song.

 

  

6) Rowan and Martin's Laugh In premiered in 1968, when this song was popular. What's the last TV show you watched? Did you watch it live, did you stream it, or catch it on DVR/Tivo? I just watched an interview Dick Cavett did with Richard Burton back in 1980. I had DVR'd it. Now I have to decide whether or not to delete it. I loooooove listening to Burton tell stories in that deep, honeyed voice, but I'm down to 6% of storage space.

7) In 1968, Jacqueline Kennedy shocked the world by marrying Greek billionaire Aristotle Onassis.What's the last thing you heard that surprised you? That one of my neighbors is resigning from the condo board. There's so much drama in this little, 24-unit condo building! (Remember Melrose Place? We're just like that, only we don't dress that well and we aren't that attractive.)

8) 1968's top-rated car was the Chevy Corvette. Could your car benefit from a trip to the car wash this morning? No car.

  
9) Random question: You're staying in a hotel and find you can faintly hear the couple in the next room. Would you ignore their voices, or try to hear them better? Depends on my mood. I might be tempted to listen in, but if I'm sleepy I'd probably just turn on my TV for white noise as I doze off to sleep.

 

Tears ... and the Angry Inch

Wednesday night we went to see the touring production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It was a compelling night of theater and I liked the music, but it was such an angry story -- my favorite quote from Hedwig is, “It’s the direction of the aggression that defines the act” -- that I can't say I enjoyed it. I do know that I have been thinking about it a great deal.

But it wasn't the play that made the night memorable. It was my friend, Barb. As we had dinner before the show, she unexpectedly broke down. She and her husband are getting closer to putting their home here in Chicago on the market, their new home in Hilton Head is just about done  ... and John is still battling two forms of cancer. Every three weeks he goes to Northwestern Hospital for treatments.

What's more, she has two surgeries of her own scheduled before they move: an operation on her left eye and reconstructive surgery after her own battle with cancer. Additionally, her feet are bothering her, and it turns out she has arthritis which "could" require surgery in the future.

"I worry about what's going to happen to John," she said between tears. I didn't ask her to elaborate because I knew what she meant: he's dying. When he was diagnosed back in September, his first doctor told him he had six months. That was six months ago. His new medical team said they "don't look at cancer treatment that way," and that he's been "responding" to medication. But both she and John know he's never going to get better. He gets winded so easily that he cannot climb even a flight of stairs on his own. And yet they are going to pack up everything they own and drive 950 miles to South Carolina.

She did articulate that she's worried about their medical care. Northwestern is the #1 hospital in Chicago for cancer treatment, and it's been ranked in the top 10 nationwide. Not only is John's cancer team there, so is Barb's. The oncologist who oversaw her mastectomy less than a year ago is also at Northwestern. I told her that Hilton Head has a big retirement community and there must be good doctors nearby. She was skeptical and, frankly, I don't believe what I said, either. I know someone in Key West who has to drive (now, be driven) 150 miles to Miami for care. Major metropolitan areas have their advantages, and big hospitals are among them.

The poor woman has so much on her mind. Packing up her home. Selling her home. Overseeing the construction of her home in another state. Her vision. Her feet. Her cancer. His cancer. And, living in a new town when his health deteriorates.

I didn't tell her everything would be fine. I didn't want to insult her. Instead, I told her that, under the circumstances, feeling overwhelmed completely rational. I told her I'll always be here to listen and give her a hug. She smiled sadly and said she could foresee a time in the not so distant future when I'll be living her with her in her new big house. She imagined us as two retired ladies in Hilton Head, playing nine holes of golf and then having dinner at 4:30 in the afternoon.