Oh, sweetheart!

My Connie really is such a sweet cat. Spirited and affectionate. And that's what makes this news so sad and unfair.

Her first year, 2013, was a difficult one. She began her life with a hoarder who kept at least 9 cats in a little apartment. When she ended up at the shelter, she was emaciated and pregnant with a stillborn litter. She had terrible breath because of bloody gums and was suffering from an upper respiratory infection that manifested itself in chronically runny eyes. I knew her history when I adopted her. I realized she was "special needs," that because of her eye trouble she'd need to be dosed regularly with Lysine.

What I didn't know then was that she'd already been exposed to FIP, an incurable virus that will someday take her life. I just found that out Monday afternoon.

My dear old tomcat Joey had -- among many other health problems -- a rather rare virus that sapped his strength and contributed to his passing. It weakened him as his old body tried to battle late-stage kidney disease. Because he shared a water bowl and litter box with Connie and Reynaldo, I was worried that he may have passed this virus onto them. My vet said it was unlikely but I wanted to be sure. So last weekend, when I took Connie to the vet for her annual vaccines, I asked for a full blood panel.

The vet was right. She didn't catch anything from old Joe. But she does have FIP, which is different, and worse.

She's fine now. Her heart and lungs sounded good to the vet. Her eyes are clear. She's lively and sociable and her appetite is good. The vet advises me that, with the proper care, she could lead a normal life. What will predictably happen is that the opportunistic FIP virus will one day in the future turn a simple cold into something fatal.

Connie deserves a good life. The way it began -- in crowding, in squalor -- is not her fault. I'm going to see to it she gets the best possible diet and regular vet care and lots of affection. I don't know how many years she has (the vet says 10 is not out of the question), but I'm going to give her the best I can. I love her and take my responsibility to her very seriously.

 

PS Later this month, when Rey goes in for his vaccines, we'll learn whether he's picked up a virus from either Joey or Connie. The vet says it's unlikely, but we've got to find out.

The soundtrack of my life

Stolen from Kwizgiver.

What if your life was a movie? What music would accompany the action?

Opening Credits: A Hard Day's Night -- The Beatles
Average Day:  Just Another Day -- Paul McCartney
School Experience: At 17 -- Janis Ian
First Crush: Opus 17 -- The Four Seasons
Falling in Love: Can't Help Falling in Love -- Elvis Presley
Secret Crush: If Only You Knew -- Patti LaBelle
Life's OK: Dancing in the Dark -- Bruce Springsteen
Feeling Proud: Man! I Feel Like a Woman -- Shania Twain
Family Relationships: Pachabel's Canon D



Fight or Flight: Don't Rain on My Parade -- Barbra Streisand
Learning a Lesson: Friends in Low Places -- Garth Brooks
Friends: Part of Me, Part of You -- Glenn Frey
Deep Thought: That's Life -- Frank Sinatra
Flashback: Moonlighting -- Al Jarreau
When I Was Young: Come on Down to My Boat Baby -- Every Mother's Son
When I Get Older: When I'm 64 -- The Beatles Can't find a good version on YouTube
Happy Dance:  September -- Earth Wind and Fire
When I'm Feeling Down: Stoney End -- Barbra Streisand
On Top of the World: Brand New Me -- Dusty Springfield
Closing Scene:  Tears Dry on Their Own -- Amy Winehouse


I realize this list reflects my advanced years. But I enjoyed this exercise enormously. Thanks for sharing it, Kwizgiver!

Oh, yeah!

That other local team, the White Sox, is doing well, too. (I'm so full of joy and love I can be generous.)

Feeling positively Angelic

That's Revlon #141 Angelic. Got my spring pedi today from Joanna. The neutral pale pink has me feeling fresh and ready for sandal weather. Even turned the air conditioners on! (Mostly to see if they worked, but also because it was pretty stuffy in here.)

Sunday Stealing

25 Large Meme

1. Travel anywhere, where would it be? I'd like to sneak away for a weekend in a place I haven't been in years, like Hot Springs or Memphis or Boston.
2.  Meet anyone, who would it be? Michelle Obama. I'd like to ask her how she handles the scrutiny and relentlessly unfair criticism with such grace. And why doesn't she want to move back here to Chicago when their time in the White House is done?
3. Bring anyone dead back to life, who would it be? I wouldn't. I don't believe it would be wise to change the course of history that way.
4.  Be anyone for a day, who would it be? I'd like to be a petsitter. Doesn't sound all that glam, does it? Well, it's something I've thought about doing when I retire from advertising and I wonder how I'd like it, how good I'd be at it.
5.  Get anything for free for the rest of your life what would it be? Electricity and light bulbs. I don't know why, but I really resent paying for those things.
6.  Change one thing about your life what would it be? My laziness.
7. Have any superpower what would it be? Time travel. I'd love to be a fly on the wall at many moments in history.
8. Be any animal for a day which would you be? One of my cats. I'd love to speak to them, learn what they like and what they don't, about their lives with me.
9. Date anyone who would it be? Bruce Springsteen. Of course, since he's married he shouldn't be dating.
10.  Change one thing about the world what would it be? The divisive us-against-them that permeates everything. Naturally I would start with Donald Trump.
11.  Live in any fictional universe which would you choose? I don't like sci fi, so I don't know how to answer this.
12.  Eliminate one of your human needs which would you get rid of? Sleep
13.  Change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be? I hate how fat my face is
14.  Change one of your personality traits which would you choose? The aforementioned laziness
15.  Be talented at anything instantly what would you choose? Singing!
16.  If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? How is this different from question #2?
17.  Erase an event from history (make it so it never happened) which would you choose? I wouldn't. I don't believe it would be wise to change the course of history that way.
18.  Have any hair/eye/skin color, which would you choose? I like my coloring (pale skin, light brown hair, green eyes)
19.  Be any weight/body type, which would you choose? Tall and lean
20.  Live in any country/city, where would you choose? I like it right where I am
21.  Change one law in your country, which would you change? I'd like to protect the separation of church and state. Legislating one's faith feels very unpatriotic and un-Christian to me.
22. Be any height, which would you choose? I'd like to be 5'7 and wear a size 8.
23. Have any job in the world, which would you choose? Queen of the circus
24. Have anything appear in your pocket right now, what would it be? The key to Leroy Jethro Gibbs' heart
25.  Have anyone beside you right now, who would it be? My cat, Joey. I miss him that dear old tomcat more than I thought I would.

Change is the law of life

So said JFK. The man knew what he was talking about.

When I went to my new doctor's office last Wednesday, I found myself riding through a neighborhood I haven't seen in years, since my mother died in autumn 2012. I used to spend a lot of time waiting there, as I made the connection between the bus and train, en route for a Sunday afternoon visit. I can recall specific books I was reading as I sat outside, weather permitting, on the steps beside the open-air train shelter.

When the weather didn't permit -- and in Chicagoland, that was really more often than not -- I killed time and avoided the cold or wet or wind at either Arby's or Burger King. There was also a very nice 24/7 coffee shop with an extensive menu of surprisingly good food that's still there, but if I could afford that I could afford a cab instead of public transportation. So usually it was Arby's or Burger King.

They're both gone! Not closed. Gone.

Arby's was completely renovated and is now a pancake house. I'm curious as to how it looks inside, as I think it's a little small for a sit-down restaurant.

Burger King is now rubble. There was an early morning fire in 2013 and extensive damage was done
to the roof. Apparently the fast-food chain decided it wasn't worth repairing it to reopen and the building has come down.

My little world of heading over to my mother's every other Sunday to chat with her and play Scrabble with my little nephew is gone. My mother's dead. My nephew is in high school, with a neck beard and a girlfriend and a full plate of adolescent problems. The quick serve restaurants where I hung out, used the restroom and waited for the train have disappeared.

It's the slow, unrelenting constancy of change that fills me with wonder and melancholy tonight.

She's made new friends

Connie went to the vet today. She needed her annual rabies vaccination and a blood test. I've been worried about her and Reynaldo. My beloved old Joey had an immune deficiency virus at the time of his death and while it's unlikely that he passed it along to Connie and Rey, I want to be sure.

As I was settling our bill at the front desk, one of the vet techs -- the one who actually drew Connie's blood -- came over to tell me what a sweet and special little girl she is. Finding a usable vein was a little harder and took a little longer than was customary, but during the process Connie maintained eye contact with the tech and kept on purring. "I thought, 'this is one I want to take home!'" the tech enthused about my gentle and trusting girl.

Hopefully I'll get good news about her blood work on Monday.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: You're Beautiful

1) The first line is of this song is, "My life is brilliant." Using one word, describe your life.
Improving

2)  This is about a chance encounter between strangers in a crowd, specifically the subway. What "crowded place" were you most recently in? The train Thursday morning was crazy crowded. The gentleman sitting next to me was a smoker and his leather jacket retained the stench. It wasn't at all like encountering an angel, as described in the song.
 
3) Near the very end of this song, James Blunt sings, "It's time to face the truth." Do you believe you face things head on? Or do you tend to deny or put off the unpleasant? I don't like hurting anyone's feelings, so I suppose I put things off longer than I should.

4) James Blunt went to an all-boys school. Some educators recommend single-sex classrooms because they maintain girls just naturally approach subjects like math and science differently than boys do. Do you agree? I don't really have an opinion on this and have heard compelling arguments on both sides.

5) Blunt put his father in charge of his finances. Income taxes are top of mind for many of us this time of year. Do you do your own taxes? Or do you go to an accountant or tax preparation service? I use an accountant, and consider it money well spent. My oldest friend does her own taxes, and is always finding out she owes more than she thought she would. I pay to make sure I have no surprises.

6)  In 2005, the year this song was a hit, the sitcom How I Met Your Mother was also popular.  Do you know how your parents met? My dad was a mechanic, working on this lady's car. The lady thought he was such a nice young man. That lady, my mother's mother, played matchmaker and wrangled my mother an invitation to a party at the mechanic's house.

7) 2005 is also the year Tom Cruise famously jumped on a sofa. Do you remember where he did this? Oprah. I saw it live. I happened to be home from work that day because I had a doctor's appointment. I recall thinking Oprah was just as weird as he was. "He's gone," she kept saying, "The boy is gone." The whole incident was very strange. People just don't naturally behave the way either of them did.

8) 2005 was also the year YouTube really took off. What's the last video you watched? The video for this week's song.

9) Random question ... Which of these high profile jobs would you enjoy more: head of General Motors, CEO of Apple or president of the New York Yankees? My first response is that they all sound like too much stress and I'm not interested in any of them. But then I remembered how nice ballplayers look in their tight pants, so I'll choose president of the Yankees.

I miss him

I miss Frank Sinatra. I finished The Chairman last night, the final volume of James Kaplan's massive biography of Francis Albert and I was riveted. Now that it's over, I'm exhausted. And absolutely everyone else on the planet seems dull in comparison.

He was a peerless artist, a tender lover, a loyal friend, a compulsive womanizer, a cruel bully, a superficial social climber, a beloved father, a quick intellect, and a Mafia groupie ... sometimes all on the same page!

I hate the way it ended. Not the book, Frank's life. This lion among men, this great romancer, the original jet setter who would fly to London for dinner, had his last meal -- half a grilled cheese sandwich -- from a wheelchair. He was senile and impotent. Heartbreaking.

Therefore I've decided to simply not grow old. No, thank you.

Is this for real?

Friday reflections:

•  This week the Cubs beat the Diamondbacks twice and the Reds three times. No losses. Yes, they're down by three right now (top of the 6th), but with this team and their big bats, I'm not counting them out. As Jake Arrieta's shirt proudly proclaims, they are good.

•  Looking back on my week, I can't recalling scolding Reynaldo once. He's gotten more cuddly in his old age (he turned 12 this month), taking Joey's spot beside me on the futon. He's still eating well, and he and Connie indulge in a little nightly rough house. As long as his appetite and social instincts are strong, I suppose I shouldn't worry. But this is the first week in memory that I haven't yelled at him for knocking the photos off the shelf or the paperwork off the table, or chased him into or out of the bedroom, or pleaded with him to please shut up.

The Cubs are winning and Reynaldo is behaving. Wow. I believe I have everything I've always wanted!

Now THIS has been a good day!

I haven't had many lately, but today was one and I'm savoring it.

I saw a new specialist today. She talked to me. She asked questions. She listened. It was great! She explained that what I had -- c. diff -- is actually rather serious and it takes awhile to get over it. I've really only been c. diff-free for a little over a month. I think I'm recovering slowly, but she doesn't necessarily agree. She thinks I'm expecting myself to be the way I was on December 22, the day before my first episode of c. diff, but that may not be what "well" looks like for me anymore. I might be looking at a new normal. She wants me to relax, to concentrate on upping my fruits and vegetables and reducing my admittedly prodigious soda/caffeine intake, and to talk to her in two weeks. She wants to talk to me! As opposed to the last specialist, whose office couldn't commit to when, or if, he'd ever call me back.

Barb called! She left a voicemail at home when she knew I was at work, so I'm taking that as a signal that she didn't really want me to call her back. But it was good to hear her voice and get an update. She's home from the hospital and had one of the drains removed, which she reports, "is huge." I'll call her tomorrow or Friday, just to check in.

Things are better at work. AD is rolling up his sleeves and making changes. I'm not sure they will all be changes for the better, but that's not the point. He is enthusiastic, he's open, he's smart. YEA! The agency is beginning the appraisal process soon and I wish AD (account director) was my supervisor so he could write my review, instead of my boss, but it is what it is.

The Cubs are winning ... again. These guys are so good tonight it's actually boring. They're winning 9-2. Up by seven runs! Can you believe it? They've so outclassed the Reds in pitching, fielding and hitting that I'm comfortable switching back and forth to a Law & Order rerun I've never seen. What a luxury!

Well, yes, I cried

I cry every year when I watch the opening ceremonies at Wrigley Field. The tradition and the romance and the goodwill ... the were all on display, and they are all what being a Cub fan is about.

At this point, we had no idea how bad it was

This evening, when the announcer introduced "your 2016 Chicago Cubs," the last name he called Kyle Schwarber. The crowd went wild. He ambled out on crutches. I turned on the water works. For this charming 23-year-old kid, this hitmaker, this hero from last year is out for the season. In a heartbreaking turn of events, he took a tumble in the outfield during Game 3, while the boys were still on the road. Schwarber tore the ligaments in his knee. He played two games, and now he's done. So unfair. I was touched to see the Wrigleyville faithful shower the kid with love. We're good people that way. We're loyal and we really love our guys.

Then three of the Cubs Hall of Famers threw out the first pitch. The heroes of my youth -- Fergie Jenkins and Sweet Swingin' Billy Williams -- were joined by my grandmother's all-time favorite Cub, Ryne Sandberg. Sniffle, sniffle, sniffle.

If my own personal hall of famer, my beloved Greg Maddux, had joined them, I would have simply died of completion. But he's working for the Dodgers now. Which is OK. Doesn't matter. I'll always love him best.

Sunday Stealing

Ask Ask Ask Meme

1 -If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? Tom Hanks. He has experience with this.

2 - What do you feel right now? Lazy


3 - What chocolate is your favorite? Mint chocolate chip ice cream

4 - Why did you create a blog account? It's my online diary

5 - Who is your favorite blogger? The one I read most often is Kwizgiver.

6 - When was the last time you cried? Why? I cried a lot when I said my final goodbye to Joey. He was a wonderful cat and it was a privilege to know him.


7 - Who is your best friend? Whom I turn to depends on the circumstance

8 - What kind of music do you listen to? I'm a Baby Boomer. I like the oldies.

9 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? Sometimes

10 - What do you prefer, jeans or shorts? What's the weather?

11 - Did you try to change for a person? Yes. It didn't work. (It never does.)

12 - Are you in a good or bad mood? I'm in a good mood right now. Absent an irritant, I'm usually in a good mood.

13 - Name someone you can’t live without. Cubs manager Joe Maddon. I've put all my hopes and faith in him. This could be the year!


14 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? Yes. I'm not proud of this, but that's the truth.

15 - Are you a crybaby? No

16 - When people praise you for your looks, what feature do they praise? My green eyes.

17 - What hair color do you prefer? On myself or on the opposite sex? I tend to be more attracted to men with dark hair.

18 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? My chins. I'd like one fewer.

19 - Can you live without internet?   Yes, but not happily.

20 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? No.

21 - Did you have an accident last year? I twisted my ankle while running for the bus.

22 - What are you thinking right now? That my skin feels a little dry.

23 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? Yes

24 - Do you have trust issues? Yes

25 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love?” Not a one. I'm blessed with many long-term friendships, and they all flood in.

26 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be?” Not always. For example, you shouldn't gulp a fist full or barbiturates and then swig a bottle of Jack Daniels and assume you'll be safe because "it's not my time."

27 - Do you believe in destiny? To some degree. I believe God created each of us and He has a plan. But we each have free will.

28 - How do you look right now? Messy

29 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? 24/7/365

30 - Favorite city? The one I'm in. It's a toddlin' town.

And there's still more

Our conversations are different now. They all seem to revolve around our health troubles.

So far, 2017 has been The Year of One Gal's Gut. Whenever my friends and I get together, my c. diff comes up.

Then there's John's ongoing creaks and aches and pains. He just can't move like he used to. He has trouble with ramps and stairs -- he gets winded going up and down is hard on his knees. In January, when we went to the Cubs Convention, we found ourselves sitting on the floor and he had a difficult time getting up.

Barb has cancer. Kathleen's and Ed's cancers are in remission. So is Ed's daughter's leukemia.

Today I just learned that my friend Mindy is putting her 85+ mother in hospice. Last month, Mindy's husband had an angioplasty.

My oldest friend continues to suffer from depression, and anxiety, and heart trouble. (Which reminds me: I have to call her.)

At 58, I'm the baby of my circle of friends. So all of this reminds me of Nora Ephron's quote about what happens when you turn 60 and your thoughts suddenly turn to mortality.

His face looks fuller

Had lunch with my nephew on Saturday. We did not talk about how poorly he's doing in school,* or that he's been feeling suicidal, or he is seeing his second psychiatrist and first therapist, or that the anti-depressants he'd been taking made him gain weight.

We talked about Bernie Sanders and his girlfriend Anna. He's known Anna since pre-school, so I didn't need any introduction to her. What I heard is that this summer, she's volunteering at the local zoo and he's hoping to spend his days at the animal shelter.

And we ate a prodigious amount of fries and ketchup.

I felt better for having seen him. I thought he was happy to see me. I don't know many teenage boys who would willingly spend 90 minutes on a Saturday afternoon with their old fart aunt.

*By his standards, not the school's or his parent's. He has a 2.3-2.7 GPA.

Saturday 9

That's What Friends Are For (1985)

1) This week's song is performed by an all-star quartet: Dionne Warwick, Elton John, Gladys Knight and Stevie Wonder. You have your choice: which of these four would you most like to see in concert? Gladys. I love her voice, I love her music. Elton would be my second choice, because he was ubiquitous when I was growing up and I have so many memories attached to his music.

2) Dionne Warwick was Whitney Houston's cousin. Name a Whitney Houston song. This one is my favorite. It captures that flush of lust so well. (And I always liked the little jacket she wears in the video.)




3) Gladys Knight owns a chain of chicken and waffle restaurants around Atlanta. When you have waffles, what do you top them with? (Powdered sugar? Butter? Syrup? Fruit?) Melted butter and maple syrup would be nice, thank you.

4) Elton John has turned his bad eyesight into a hobby, claiming that over the years he has purchased well over than 200,000 pairs of glasses. Do you wear glasses? If so, how many prescription pairs do you own? I've got two pair of prescription glasses, one in my bathroom and another in my purse. Neither one of them is really strong enough, though. This fall -- when I run out of contacts -- I've got to get my eyes checked again.

5) Stevie Wonder has a scar on his nose from a 1973 car crash. Have you ever been in a car accident? Nothing noteworthy.

6) Burt Bacharach and Carole Bayer Sager were married when they wrote this. Do you know a husband and wife who work together? No. My friend John worked for a husband/wife team who ran a small agency -- five employees, including the bosses -- and he reports it was weird on a daily basis. Mrs. Boss was crazy jealous of Mr. Boss.
 
7) This song celebrates friendship through good times and bad. Tell us about a happy time you recently shared with someone close to you. The aforementioned John took me to the annual Cubs Convention. I had the best time. It was a lovely and generous gesture John made to this ol' Cub fan.

8) Now share a time when you were there for a friend through a tough time. I'm trying to be there for my friend, Barb. (See post below.) Thanks to everyone who posted advice. I appreciate it, because I want to handle this with sensitivity.

9) Random question: When is the last time you were out of breath? Going up the stairs as fast as I could (don't know if that constitutes 'running') to catch the train.

Too big, too much

On Wednesday, my friend Barb had her double mastectomy.

I sent her a gift, a nightshirt to wear during her convalescence that she received earlier this week. This morning I sent her a text. Now I think I'll leave her alone for a while.

But I admit I'm in uncharted waters. The mastectomy is major surgery, which will be followed by reconstructive surgery. She will be in pain, and stitches and staples and drains. Her arms and shoulders will be stiff and she'll have an exercise routine. That's just the physical part.

She's a married woman concerned about her husband's response to her changed body. We talked about this years ago, during the run up to my hysterectomy. I was surprised that some people viewed my surgery as sexual, because I didn't. Losing those internal organs didn't make me feel any less feminine, any less me. Barb agreed, and we both said it would be far, far worse to lose a breast.

And now she's losing two.

Oh yeah, and she's dealing with mortality. Cancer kills. I have no reason to believe that Barb's was caught in time and that she'll have healthy years ahead of her. But I'm not the one who spent hours on the table. Death had to have crossed Barb's mind.

I've been thinking about her all day. I started my day using the bath gel she gave me, just to feel closer to her.

Opening Day

This might be the year!

Seared on my soul

When I was 10 years old, I thought I was highly sophisticated. I wasn't, of course, I was in fifth grade. I had a 9:00 bedtime. I'd never met a Jew or Hispanic and the only black I'd ever interacted with was May, who had been our once-a-week cleaning lady.* But I felt very grown up. After all, I watched the news at 5:00 and lie on my tummy each day and flipped through two of Chicago's daily newspapers.

I remember hearing about Dr. King's murder. I was alone in the living room, watching a show about The Beach Boys, when an announcer broke in with A SPECIAL BULLETIN. It made me sad, but it didn't rock my world.

But the riots did. Chicago burned. It was very scary. Even to a sophisticate like me.

I saw this speech, given that evening in nearby Indianapolis. I understood what he was saying, even if I'd never heard of Aeschylus before. The first time I saw it, my throat closed up a little and I almost cried, because I so got him. It was not lost on me that as Chicago was in violent turmoil, Indianapolis was safe.

The obvious conclusion: Bobby Kennedy could keep us safe. 

That he was often photographed with children -- his own brood or his fatherless niece and nephew -- climbing all over him, or with his dog Freckles, enhanced that image as the man who could take care of us all. His murder, just a matter of weeks later, left me heartbroken.

Watch this speech. If you've seen it before, watch it again. Delivered on the back of flat bed truck, to a predominantly African-American crowd who had yet to learn that Dr. King had been shot. The signs he asks the crowd to lower were BOBBY signs.  That piece of paper in his hands was the campaign speech he had planned to deliver but never did.

It seems almost obscene to mention in this context but today's GOP front runner recently proclaimed, "I bring rage out." Shame on him.

 *May was the first person who ever called our home and asked for me. It was a summer Saturday between second and third grade. She wanted to make sure I knew The Beatles were going to be on The Ed Sullivan Show the following night. I felt terribly grown up.

Sunday Stealing

Survey 212 Meme

Is your birth year an odd or even number?: Odd

Which one of your friends is the most outgoing?: Soraya. She is so open and adorable, everyone loves her.

Have you eaten any of your favorite foods today?: I had hot cinnamon apples. Yes!

When did you last find yourself in an awkward situation?: Thursday at work. We have a new, hot gun in charge of design. He's politically golden right now, so when he said something really stupid in a meeting,* I didn't know how to handle it. Amazingly, I kept my mouth shut.

When was the last time you ignored, or went against, someone’s advice?: Also, Thursday at work.

What happened?: I let someone get away with something, simply because I didn't feel like fighting. One of my coworkers said, "You're gonna be sorry!" She's probably right.

How many different towns/cities have you lived in?: Only two

When was the last time you had Nutella?: It's been years

Who is your favorite character in“The Big Bang Theory”?: Sheldon, of course. Especially when he talks football.


What are your parents’ middle names?: Elvira and Leopold

Name someone with a sexy sounding voice.: Robert Downey, Jr.

Are your eyes the same color as your sibling’s?: No. My eyes are green, they both have brown eyes.

How many pets do you have? Would you like any more?: Two. Yes.

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm?: "Never Gonna Give You Up." Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you ...

Is there a song that you’re fed up of hearing?: No

Did you have a strange or interesting dream last night?: Nope

Name 3 things that are in your refrigerator atm.: Coke, applesauce, milk

Which friend do you confide in most?: I suppose my oldest friend. But my choice depends on the situation.

What was your most recent reason for smiling? Watching that clip above, when Sheldon calls Leonard "Poindexter."

* "That's how Microsoft does it," he said, rather defensively. Nothing about my client -- not what they do, not how they disseminate their services -- has anything to do with Microsoft, so it was a rather staggeringly uninformed statement.

Let's do the timewarp again!

I've become obsessed with black and white game shows. Specifically What's My Line, To Tell the Truth, and I've Got a Secret. The episodes I'm seeing every night on the Buzzr channel seem to be from the late 1950s and early 1960s.

I love how elegant the women were, how courtly the men were, how polite everything was. It captures an America on the cusp of change, a cultural tsunami the nation didn't see coming.

My favorite on these shows is John Daly, the host of What's My Line. He had such a good face, warm
and open.

I've become such a fan that I researched him and discovered he had an impressive, important career beyond hosting mystery guests like Elizabeth Taylor (then only on husband #2). As a newsman, his was the first voice to let America know about Pearl Harbor! Can you imagine? He also was a staple on TV's Presidential convention coverage.

The result, though, is that I know more about a man who died in 1991 at the venerable age of 77 than I do about people in current entertainment news, like Kendrick Lamar.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Fool on the Hill (1967)  
 
1) Friday was April Fool's Day. Did you pull any pranks? Did anyone put anything over on you? I suppose I pulled a prank on myself but gorging on chocolate and giving myself a tummy ache. (I'm an idiot.)

2) The practice of playing tricks on one another on April 1 dates back at least to the 14th century and Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales includes a mention of it. Geoffrey Chaucer has been called England's greatest poet. Quote a bit of poetry for us. (It doesn't have to be English, or great.) Eeny meeny minie moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eeny meeny minie moe. My mother told me to pick the very best one and that is you.

3) Beatle Paul is a huge Elvis fan and is happy to own the bass that was played on Elvis' 1954 recording of "That's All Right, Mama." Tell us about one of your prized possessions. A ceramic cable car that once sat on my grandfather's night table. It wasn't a toy -- he used it to store his tie clasps, cuff links and licorice throat lozenges -- but he let me play with it (good grandfathers are like that). It's now perched high atop one of my bookcases.

4) In contrast to his easygoing persona, Sir Paul has been described by former band mate Ringo Starr as strong willed and "determined to get his own way." Do you consider yourself strong willed and determined? Or are you more easy going? I can be rather willful at work. Outside the office I can be too easy going. Recently I found myself apologizing to someone after busting them for hurting my feelings. I'm pissed at myself for that.

5) The Beatles once bought a Greek island, planning to live and record there, but sold it after a few months because it started to seem like a bad, expensive idea. Tell us about a purchase that gave you buyer's remorse. This futon. It was so pretty when it was new. And it seemed like a good idea -- a sofa whose cover I can just launder. But it hasn't worn well at all and looks like shit now.

6) Legend has it that the Beatles officially broke up in Disney World. John Lennon was staying at Disney's Polynesian Village Resort when he received and signed the court papers that dissolved the group. Have you ever conducted business while on vacation? Back when I was ambitious and had a career -- as opposed to the job I have now -- I was a bit too into it. About 12 years ago, before cell phones, my friends in the Keys caught me on the end of the pier, checking in at the office from a pay phone.

7) George Harrison loved puttering around in the garden and dedicated his autobiography to "gardeners everywhere." Do you have a green thumb? I don't have a yard, so I'm no gardener. But I am the proud mom to an office philodendron that just keeps growing ... and growing ... and growing. We have taken to calling her Audrey, after the real star of Little Shop of Horrors.

8) Ringo regrets not having saved more Beatles memorabilia, which he realizes now would be worth a fortune. Are you a pack rat? Dear God, yes! Right now I'm trying to winnow out my personal library, and parting with books I know I'll never read again causes me almost physical pain.

9) Random question: Which do you prefer, Girl Scout cookies or Boy Scout popcorn? Girl Scout cookies. Especially the peanut butter sandwiches.

Well, I did have three desserts

My stomach has been doing so much better lately. But here it is, after 2:00 AM, and I feel like a big, indigestible roof shingle is sitting in my stomach.

I had Chinese for lunch today, and it would be easy to blame it on that. But I think it would be better for me to be a grownup and admit that today I didn't eat like one.

After lunch, I rewarded myself with a big chocolate covered strawberry. As I was leaving the office, I popped the last three Girl Scout thin mints into my mouth so I could throw out the box. And after dinner I had a Klondike ice cream bar.

That's an awful lot of sugar and dairy. That's an awful lot of bad judgement.

Happy

I can't stop thinking about my friend Barb. She has cancer. She has cancer. The enormity of it overwhelms me. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for her.

Next Wednesday she's having a double mastectomy. The one time we talked about it at length, she seemed more interested in the reconstructive surgery than the disease. Maybe she's worried about how her husband will respond to her. Maybe it's her way of facing forward. At any rate, I'm taking my cues from her. If the plastic surgery is her focus, then it's mine, too.

Since she's my theater buddy, I got her this nightshirt to wear during her recovery. It's loose, so it should be comfortable. It's cheap, so if anything leaks on it or stains it, it won't be any great loss. And she knows it's something chosen by me expressly for her.

It's that personal touch that makes me so happy with this purchase.

Farewell, Jen Lancaster

My home is overrun by books. I love them. But I plan to celebrate my new sofa by having my living room painted, so some of these books and magazines simply have to go. Any books that can't be housed in the den have to be "re-homed."

Since I hate to part with any of them, it's slow going. That slim volume of Agatha Christie short stories? Sure, I could get rid of it. After all, once you know whodunnit, there's little point in rereading. But these were my first Marple mysteries! Just holding the book with the ladylike lavender dust jacket made me recall how delighted I was to finally make Miss Marple's acquaintance. You see the problem.

On the other hand, I'm glad to be getting rid of my Jen Lancaster books. She an undeniably talented local author I read obsessively for a while … until I noticed the quality of her books taking a slow dive and discovered through her social media/online presence that her self absorption wasn't leavened with self awareness. Getting rid of her stuff feels like an exorcism, giving me the high that "decluttering" articles always promise.

I'd never throw any book away. That's why I'm putting them in my neighbor's Little Free Library for someone else to take and enjoy. It might make Jen Lancaster happy to know that, in my bluer-than-blue community, she has a crack at changing more progressive little minds.

As the lady herself once said:

“No one’s going to be won over by my spouting dogma in my books because that’s not why people buy my stuff. I don’t write essays on why liberalism doesn’t work or why Obama’s taking us down a slippery slope. People read my books to laugh, so that’s my goal. But if my goofy little stories just happen to emphasize conservative values like morality, self-determination, and liberty, well… let’s just say that’s not unintentional.”

Yeah, those are exclusively conservative values and completely foreign to us libs. Did I mention how satisfying it is that others will be getting her books but she won't be getting royalties? Who says liberalism doesn't work? Tee hee.

"Yes" in the face of "no"

I went to church today for the first time in ages.

I have a pretty consistent relationship with God and pray often in the form of an ongoing dialog. Today, though, is a holy day and I wanted to honor the relationship with something more formalized. So I headed off to service.

It wasn't my church, though. My church is under construction, has been for months and months and will continue to be for months and months more. The renovation is tricky because the structure is a landmark, and the materials and techniques used can't be those familiar to denizens of Home Depot. So in the interim, my minister has been holding services at the Lutheran church on the other side of town. I am grateful to that church community for opening its doors so generously to another faith -- what a kind and very Christian thing to do! -- but it's not the same.

Still, I'm glad I went. The sermon was very valuable to me. Our minister brought the tale of the Resurrection into our daily lives by calling it the eternal and most passionate "yes" ever in the face of "no." She reminded us that we all, unfortunately, have occasion to stare down "no" with optimism and love.

It was the not the message I expectedon Easter, for this was an imaginative spin I'd never heard before, but it was very good for me at this point in my life. When she talked about love, and how it's love that survives death, I surprised myself by reflexively touching the pew immediately to my right. For that is where my Joey would glue himself to my side. I miss that old tomcat so very much, and he was all about love. Even in his painful, dying moments, he literally reached out to me with affection.

Later I reached for the Atocha replica coin pendant I wore to church this morning. The Atocha was a ship that went down off the Florida Keys in the 17th century. My uncle was a student of that shipwreck and had an actual coin from treasure, worth thousands of dollars. I bought this little coin pendant when I was missing him during a holiday of my own in Key West. Anyway, why did I wear it today? I selected it for the way it looked against the neckline of the blouse I chose this morning. And yet during the sermon, I fingered it like a talisman. My uncle was a far from perfect man -- a distant father, a mercurial husband, a ruthless businessman. But he was my godfather and as good to me as he knew how to be. I've never known why he was as uncharacteristically kind and supportive to me as he was, but I've always been grateful. I miss him.

So Joey and Ted -- their love survives as a "yes" in the face of "no."

And right now, when my life feels so full of aches and pains -- loved ones who are ill, loved ones who are suffering, my own perplexing health -- I have to muster the positivity to face the ongoing no's. I can do it.