My nephew is in so much pain these days that on Monday night he contemplated suicide. Again. I don't know the details, but I am relieved to report that as his thoughts dove into darker and ever darker water, he went to his parents' room, tearfully woke them up, and asked for help.
My sister thinks the problem is
the Prozac he began taking after the holidays. Perhaps. I have an embedded distrust of psychiatrists. Those meds are powerful and often psychiatrists are too too quick to prescribe them. Not all depression is biological, a lot of it is situational and requires long, hard work with a psychologist. I was bothered that my nephew's doctor was so quick to prescribe something as potent as Prozac to a teenager he barely knew, but my nephew is my sister's child -- not mine -- and I've learned that often a barren spinster's perspective is not welcome.
At any rate, my sister shared that she's also taking him to a psychologist, twice a week, that he really likes. This is positive. The doctor is getting to know my nephew and believes that the kid is too sensitive, expects too much of himself, and puts himself last. I agree with that assessment. I know he
hates it that he's not on the honor roll anymore. This feels earth shattering to him, in part because he's worried about money and how he will pay for college.
I don't know much more because I didn't ask. I don't want him to feel piteously exposed. (He's 15 after all, an age where embarrassment really can feel fatal.) I just told my sister to tell him that I love him, that I'm no stranger to depression/meds/therapy, and that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him. She said she would.
If I don't hear from him in a couple weeks, I'll call him and invite him to lunch.
He is a sweet boy, tender to the max. He's smart, but he's not the brainiac his sister is. Nor does he have her inherent toughness. He's nicer though. Watching them grow up, it's occurred to me that their lives would be easier if they could swap -- giving him the more conventional, tough traits and her the softer, kinder ones.
At any rate, I hope he's OK. He deserves to be. He is a lovely person.
And 2016 continues to be a terrible year.
Friday reflections:
My favorite on these shows is John Daly, the host of What's My Line. He had such a good face, warm 
My stomach has been doing so much better lately. But here it is, after 2:00 AM, and I feel like a big, indigestible roof shingle is sitting in my stomach.
I'd never throw any book away. That's why I'm putting them in my neighbor's Little Free Library for someone else to take and enjoy. It might make Jen Lancaster happy to
know that, in my bluer-than-blue community, she has a crack at changing
more progressive little minds.
1) This song is from Jesus Christ, Superstar.
Though now a beloved classic, the play was controversial when it first
premiered. Can you think of something else that originally made people
uncomfortable, but went on to be accepted? While I now consider him a national treasure, I was initially very unhappy when Bill Murray replaced Chevy Chase on SNL.
6)
Jelly beans are also popular this time of year. One theory says they
were introduced in Boston during the 19th century. What else comes to
mind when you think of Boston? The John F. Kennedy Library and Museum. At a time when the GOP frontrunner somehow feels it's appropriate to make fun of a reporter with special needs and uses Twitter to mock his opponent's wife, it helps to remember when we aspired to more.
But the room where I found him was a small one, and what I found him doing was horrifying. He saw me see him and he pushed me into the hall. A moment later, back in street clothes, he told me that it wasn't what I thought it was. That's all I remember.
