These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
1. Have you been naughty or nice this year? I always think I'm nice, though I'm not sure everyone agrees.
2. What do you want most for Christmas? I just want to love and feel loved with my old, dear friends.
3. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol.
4. How many Christmas cards do you normally send out? About 25.
5. Do you still get a stocking? No.
6. What is your favorite Christmas song? It changes. At this very moment, it's Bruce singing "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." How great to see him on SNL last night!
7. What is your favorite Christmas tv special? I always loved watching Andy Williams celebrate with his family.
8. What is your favorite way to wrap gifts? With tape and ribbon.
9. What do you look forward to most at Christmas? The music. The lights. The gift giving. All of it.
10. What did you do for Christmas this year? It hasn't happened yet.
11. Who do you want to kiss under the mistletoe? The list is vast.
12. What kind of Christmas tree do you have? One that's still in the box on the shelf in the closet.
13. Did you take part in a Secret Santa? Nope
14. Did you go to any Christmas parties? I celebrated with my movie group earlier this month.
15. How early do you wake up on Christmas morning? Wow, I don't know. Depends on how late we stay out on Christmas Eve.
Last year we dined on Christmas Eve at Duffy's, one of my favorite Key West restaurants. I counted this as a victory because while I love this casual and affordable place, it leaves one of my friends totally cold. But here's the thing, the menu features two of my favorite food groups -- steak and seafood -- and the ambiance is bright and airy and the bill won't bust your budget. It offers a nice, family vibe, since my friends know so many of the wait staff. Therefore, I hope we make a tradition of it and dine there for Christmas Eve 2016.
Saw Spotlight today. It's thrilling, intense and disturbing ... which is quite an accomplishment for a movie whose basic plotline is well known to us all before we even buy a ticket.
On one level, it's about how The Boston Globe broke the story that the archdiocese not only knew about priests abusing children, they perpetuated it by moving the offending clergy from one parish to another ... and on to more young potential victims. It shows how The Globe invested time -- important and unusual in this 24-hour news cycle world -- to get the right story right. Meaning, when they had it cold that 13 priests were guilty of molestation, a shocking allegation, they held it and waited until they could prove misdeeds by a dizzying 70+ priests. Their goal was not just to notify the public, not just to let the victims feel validated and heard. Management at The Globe wanted to make sure that the numbers were so staggering that Bostonians had to know this was institutional abuse, that Bernard Law and The Vatican had to know about it.
It reinforced the difference between print and broadcast journalism. Every year on 9/11, MSNBC rebroadcasts it's minute-by-minute coverage of the attack on the Twin Towers. It's fascinating to watch history unfold in real-time, to watch as our lives changed forever. It's important, too, to see how TV news is gathered and disseminated. National Geographic has made the original footage of 11/22/63 and the Kennedy assassination available and it struck me the same way. TV news is about getting us the visuals and getting them first. Print journalism gives us context and accuracy. As consumers of news -- and citizens -- we must never forget that. We must be sure we pay attention to both.
Spotlight is also about the reporters. The toll this story took on them. How they kept going. Some were parents. Many were Catholic. They felt a a certain responsibility that this sexual abuse had gone on as long as it had, unreported. It reminded me of hearing Carol Marin of the NBC5 here in Chicago talking of the Laquan McDonald police shooting. She recently said the news media here in town had to take responsibility for not going after that story with greater dedication. At a time when the press is the punching bag of right wing politicians, it's refreshing to see that they consider themselves public servants, nevertheless.
Rachel and Sacha
It gave me a chance to watch Rachel McAdams. One of my favorite actresses, she plays real-life Globe reporter Sacha Pfeiffer and delivers some very effecting moments. Michael Keaton and Mad Men's John Slattery are very good, too.
I almost forgot Stanley Tucci! He disappears completely into this character. Mitchell Garabedian is a difficult-to-like lawyer you just have to respect and admire for his tenacity on behalf of the victims. It leaves you shaking your head in disbelief and sadness that a law firm can support itself defending victims of sexual abuse at the hands of those in power.
I cried at the end of this movie. For the enormity of the problem. For the lives ruined. For the faith shaken. For the City of Boston, which (not the first time) has felt like a mirror of my beloved Chicago. For myself, an unheard victim of abuse myself (though by a relative, not a clergyman).
I wish my non-Christian "happy holidays" because I respect their feelings and their faith. That level of respect and sensitivity seems like a good way to honor my Savior at the time of his birth.
I respect our President. I don't always agree with him, but I'm proud of him. And no, he's not a Muslim* or a fascist/socialist†.
It's Christmastime! Why is social media so jacked up and crazy? Take a pill, people. Enjoy life and one another.
And happy holidays!
*Not that Muslim is a bad thing to be
†Not that those terms are interchangeable
When I stopped at Pier One on Friday afternoon, I bought my last gift of Christmas 2015. The bottom bottle stopper, accompanied by a corkscrew, are going with me to Key West. That's for one of my friends. His partner is getting a gift card to Five Guys, and I have little treats for each of their three dogs.
These are relatively inexpensive gifts, but carefully thought out. Gift giving makes me feel even more Christmas-y.
1)
According to a marketing research firm, this song is both one of the
most played and most hated songs of the season. Do you like it?It seems like an easy question, but it's not. On the one hand, it's a stupid song, overplayed and badly sung. Yet back in the 1980s, when it was new, it brought my favorite uncle a lot of joy. I miss him a lot this time of year. 2) In this song, Grandma's troubles start when she drinks too much eggnog. Do you like eggnog?No, though it's bearable when it's spiked. 3)
In the song, Grandpa recovers from losing Grandma by drinking beer and
playing cards with Cousin Mel. Will you be celebrating the holidays with
cousins?Nope 4) When did you most recently drink a beer? Was it in a bottle, a can or a glass?Bottle
5)
The lyrics refer to "pudding of fig." In "We Wish You a Merry
Christmas," the carolers demand figgy pudding. Yet despite its
popularity in holiday songs, Sam has never tasted fig pudding. Have you?Nope
6) Thinking of holiday sweets, would you prefer a gingerbread cookie or slice of pumpkin pie? Gingerbread, every time!
Hot, isn't he?
7)
This song was recorded by a duo named Elmo & Patsy. It occurs to
Sam that she has never met anyone named Elmo. How about you? Any Elmos
in your life?The first Elmo that popped into my head is Elmo Lincoln. I learned about him when I was reading about author Edgar Rice Burroughs. Elmo Lincoln was the first Tarzan, back in the silent 1918 movie.
8) Do you need snow to get "into the spirit?"It helps. 9) Random question: Are you going to get/have you gotten a flu shot this year?Yes, and so far, so good. Barely a sniffle!
My mom hung our stockings on our doorknobs. That way, the stockings would keep us occupied a little longer so she and my dad could sleep until 7:00 AM. When I read this question, I recalled Christmas morning, 1966,when I could see this bright red book cover and the word "BEATLES" (the most beautiful word in my vocabulary) peering out of my stocking. I haven't thought about this in years.
11:00 AM. My first day off, and I haven't moved from the sofa. Not even to bathe.
I feel alternately disgusted by my laziness and thrilled that I'm literally surrounded by cats (Joey on my left, purring and keeping my feet warm, Connie curled up like a fur shrimp on my right, and Reynaldo dozing on the back of the sofa, behind my head).
Much as I hate to disturb my feline roommates, I've got to get up sometime ...
I went out for dinner and Rumchata Coladas on Tuesday night with two long-ago coworkers. Bella used to be my admin, Maureen was one of our account execs. It was the first time the three of us were together since (gulp!) the summer of 2001!
I was surprised by how fondly they remembered me. Just between us, I never felt that close to them back in the day. Where we worked was, by and large, a happier workplace than the one I'm currently in. Also I was in management, so I felt a greater obligation to mingle. These are two women I've kept up with on Facebook, and even then it's been clicking "like" on photos and sending birthday wishes. I haven't spoken to or swapped emails with them ... and I haven't missed them. So naturally I hadn't expected to learn that I'd had such an impact on them. It was very flattering. But Maureen is kinda weird. I have a healthy interest in sex and am no prude ... as evidenced by this shirtless and completely gratuitous photo of Jon Hamm. But Maureen leaves me in the dust. Even though she's married, she wanted to go to a steakhouse renowned for its "eye candy."* She told us how she's taken to sending "sexy selfies" to her husband. And she wanted to know if I'd slept with this or that former coworker. The one that especially surprised me was a much younger guy. He and I were very close, but of course it was platonic. I mentioned that I hadn't heard from him since his dad died a few years ago.
"Why did he contact you about that? Did you know his dad?" Maureen asked.
"No, but I wasn't surprised. That's the kind of thing we shared with each other."
"Did you two ever do it? You were always crazy close."
I just shook my head. She also wanted to know why I wasn't seeing anyone. It was like she wouldn't be happy unless I was mating on the floor in front of her. When I responded that, for now, my life feels quite complete, thank you very much, she backed off. And, I have to add, apologized profusely and graciously at evening's end. But either I'd never noticed, or had forgotten, her preoccupation with sex.
And Bella worried me. The sweetest woman you'd ever want to meet, she's going through a divorce right now. So she finds herself a single working mom with two kids ... and no health insurance. For whatever reason, her soon-to-be ex is not pitching in financially, and their house hasn't sold as quickly as they expected it to and now that it's Christmastime it certainly won't for a while. But none of this is why I'm worried. Bella is lovely, smart woman and I have all confidence in her.
It's her new bosses that concern me. She works for a tiny event planning firm. Besides her, there are three employees, and two of them are the owners. They are evangelicals and didn't hire her full-time -- and give her the benefits she needs for her children -- until she began praying with them every morning.
"It's perfectly legal, Gal, because this company is so small." I guess my face showed how appalled I was.
Bella was raised Roman Catholic, and there are aspects of her bosses' evangelical faith that don't jibe with her girlhood teachings. But, she said, "they wouldn't have brought me on full time unless they felt comfortable with me." And for them, comfortable means willing to pray with them.
"It's good, Gal. I have God in my life," she kept assuring me. I have God in my life, too, but I know He doesn't demand I coerce others into praying along with me.
It doesn't sound very Christian to me for employers to hold a working mother's health benefits hostage to her worshiping the way they do.
But, she doesn't feel like a victim, so I will try to get over my suspicions and discomfort and let it go.
*We didn't. I told her that I didn't have the money to spend on a cab across town and a steak dinner. I shouldn't have resisted since Maureen ended up picking up the tab.
December 16: The hardest person to buy for
My friend Kathleen. She makes a good deal of money and can buy herself anything she wants, so finding the right present takes thought and imagination.
Every year I used to give my mother a snow removal service. Some years it was a great deal, some years it turned out to be quite expensive. The important thing was it saved her from going out with her bad knees and COPD and shoveling the white stuff herself.
Artificial tree. And here it is, the last time it made an appearance, Christmas 2011. The picture reminds me I enjoyed. Maybe next year I'll put it up.
Here's what I left in the Toys for Tots donation box:
• Firefighter playset (fire engine, ladder, etc.)
• "I Luv London" beauty kit (cologne/bath/body lotion), perfect for a girl 10+
• Boggle
• A pair of Our Generation puppies
• Disney Princess magnetic paper dolls (I loved magnetic paper dolls when I was little)
• Plush bear, ideal for a pre-schooler
Now I get to imagine the wee ones when Santa hands them out. That's the part I like best.
Then there's Andrew. He's the little boy who attends daycare at the children's home next door. I got him what he asked for -- a giftcard to the local bookstore -- and an Inside Out activity book.
Andy Williams was right: It IS the hap-happiest season of all ...
25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself. "ONLY enjoy by myself?" That's hard ... 1) Spa treatments. The idea of having to talk to one of my friends while I am having a massage or facial is annoying. 2) The actual reading of a book, or listening to an audiobook. My aunt and uncle read aloud to one another during long car rides. It sounds cute, but I think it would make me want to scream. 3) Watching the news. I like to concentrate.
26. If you could live in any biome* (and survive) which biome would you live in? (*a large naturally occurring community of flora and fauna occupying a major habitat, e.g., forest or tundra.)
I have read this question twice, and yet all I get is "blah-blah-blah." So I respectfully decline to answer.
This would be nice
27. How do you like being roused in the morning? Mark Harmon would be nice.
28. How was your day? What did you do? My day has just started. So far I have fed the cats and updated my Farmville 2 farm.
29. What did your last text message say? It was a reminder from the salon about my Saturday pedi appointment.
30. Do you respond to texts quickly? Usually. Depends on if I can find my phone. (I lose things.)
31. Who was the last person you called? The bank. I put a "stop payment" on a check and wanted to know what the bank fee would be.
32. List 5 things that are on your wish list. 1) A massive Amazon gift card. I'm sure there are books/movies I want that I haven't even thought of yet. 2) Socks. Why do I have so many black ones but not enough navy and white? 3) Gingerbread cookies.
4) A CVS gift card. There are things I really resent spending money on
(toilet paper, light bulbs) and a gift card to cover those would make me
happy. 5) Long-sleeved pullovers.
33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for? I suspect that if I were born 10 years earlier, I would have been a stereotypical 60s radical.
34. Winter or summer? Winter.
35. What is a quality that all people should have? Empathy
36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be? $10 bills. I'd like lots and lots and lots of $10 bills. Stacks and stacks of 'em.
38. What is the secret to a happy life? I'll leave it to JT.
39. What are some phrases you say often? "The thing of it is ..." "I could do that, IF I WAS SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY!" "I'm sorry." "It's a party to be near me, isn't it?"
40. Favorite food? It changes. Right now, I'm seriously into pizza.
41. What is your wish for the world? I'd like us all to keep the lid on. Chicago is a very tense place these days. The tension is palpable. I just want us all to get through, you know? I want it all to hold together without exploding, the way Ferguson and Baltimore did. So far, the protests have been peaceful and that leaves me proud and hopeful.
42. What are some of your greatest fears? See above. I understand that the rest of the country is frightened by ISIS. While 14 people were tragically murdered in San Bernardino, 35 Chicagoans were shot to death by other Chicagoans in the month of November alone. I understand intellectually that I am statistically unlikely to be hurt by either a terrorist or a gang banger. BUT if I'm going to be frightened ... Like I said, Chicago is a tense place these days. Oh, and Donald Trump, you are an asshole. Every time he talks about the gangs of "immigrant Mexicans" that plague Chicago, I want to scream. He has no understanding of what's going on around here. None. Sorry, I know this isn't very Christmas-y. But you asked!
43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? My Giordano's order. I'm sending two frozen deep dish pizzas to my friends in the Keys. There's much that's wonderful about Key West, but the pizza situation down there is pathetic.
44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? BIG bodies of water. Lake Michigan, Atlantic, Gulf of Mexico, Pacific ... never gets old.
45. Spicy food: Like or dislike? Dislike.
46. Scary movies: Like or dislike? Like. But only if we're talking scary vs. violent. They don't always go together. In the famous shower scene in Psycho, you never once see the blade touch skin.
47. Do you like to travel? I like being in new and different places. However, I don't necessarily like getting there. Train rides are fine, but flying sooooooo stresses me out.
48. Any regrets? I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
The Christmas Cookie Club by Ann Pearlman. I've read it twice, and if my TBR pile wasn't so tall I'd be reading it again now. It's a lovely, well-crafted story of friendship and traditions. And it's filled with cookie recipes, some of which I've actually been tempted to try.
I've read that Ava Gardner is the only one who called him "Francis." She broke his heart 200 different ways and 200 different times, and the experience taught him to sing like this. He was smart enough, gifted enough, to know how to use the pain.
I can think of no better way to pay tribute to Frank Sinatra on his 100th birthday than with Frank Sinatra.
1)
In this song, Chuck E.'s friends look for him at the pool hall and the
drugstore. If we want to find you on a Saturday afternoon, where should
we look? This weekend, I'm getting my holiday pedi. Revlon 590 Trendy. It's the first time I've moved out of the pink/red realm into teal. Time to broaden my horizons!
2)
The lyrics tell us his friends know something up with Chuck E because
he's even combed his hair. So here's a question about your hair: do you
usually use a blow dryer or let it air dry? I blow it dry. It's pretty short now, so I don't need mousse. But in about a week or so, I'll have to call in reinforcements to control it.
3)
In this song, Ricki Lee sings that she spotted Chuck E. at the
Pantages, a grand old Los Angeles theater. Nearly 100 years old, the
Pantages was originally a movie palace and was renovated in the 1980s
for concerts and theatrical productions. Tell us about a cool landmark
in your town. Macy's on State Street is a National Historic Landmark. It was originally the Marshall Field's flagship store. Nine stories tall, it's been there since 1873. It's awesome. The Christmas windows are always adorable (this year's are devoted to Peanuts). There's a fountain in the lobby where I've tossed countless pennies making untold wishes. It's my favorite place to shop.And it means a lot to the city. That's why the protesters have targeted it so often these past few weeks.
4)
"Chuck E." is a real person. Chuck E. Weiss is a blues musician and DJ
who hung around with Ricki Lee and her boyfriend ... until he fell in
love. Have you ever had a friendship fall by the wayside when one of you
entered a romantic relationship? Not over romance or marriage. Babies have proven to the death knell of some friendships. Parents of wee ones just can't get together after work anymore.
5) Rickie Lee was once married to a French musician named Pascal Nabet-Meyer. Say something to us in French. Sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble.
6) When her popularity was at its height, Rickie Lee appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone twice. Who have you seen on a recent magazine cover? Just read the PEOPLE cover story about Sandra Bullock and her new daughter. Aw ... 7) Rolling Stone called Rickie Lee "the duchess of cool." Who is the coolest person you know? Not Rickie Lee Jones. She looks so incredibly hygienically challenged, with her greasy hair and little brown cigs. YUK. Instead I'll vote for my friend John. He's hip. He marches to his own drummer. And while we've never discussed it, I'm certain he washes his hair more often than Rickie Lee Jones.
8) 1979 was a good year for Rickie Lee, what with her big hit record and the Rolling Stone covers.
But it was a terrible year for The Who, because eleven of their fans
died during an Ohio concert. What's your favorite Who song? I'm not really a Who fan, but I like "You Better, You Bet." 9)
Rickie Lee moved to New Orleans, a city she fell in love with after a
visit. Have you ever gone to a vacation spot and wished you could just
stay there forever? Washington DC or Boston. I feel enormously comfortable in both places.
