Thursday Thirteen #229

THIRTEEN AFFORDABLE BABY GIFTS

Over the last six months or so I've purchased more baby shower gifts than I have in the last decade. I've noticed that what new moms want today has changed since around the turn of the millennium, when I last spent time wandering the aisles at Target and Toys R Us. Instead of the receiving blankets and washcloths I used to give parents-to-be, this is what I've found on modern moms' registries.

All of these can be purchased for under $25.

1) Swaddles make it easy to wrap Baby snugly, enhancing the little one's sense of warmth and security.

2) Pacifiers. Parents will appreciate it if you choose the ones made with BpA-, phthalate- and PVC-free materials.

3) Dishwasher baskets make it easy to toss bottles, nipples and pacifiers into the dishwasher.  

4) Grass drying rack. It's a square of tall plastic grass that looks good on the kitchen counter while giving those bottles, nipples and pacifiers a place to air dry.

5) Hooded towels are an oldie but goodie, still appreciated for keeping Baby comfortable after bath.

6) Matching bootie and mitten sets. Feel free to buy as many cute prints as you wish because you can bet one set will always be in the wash. 

7) Crib sheets are always needed because, well, see above.

8) Bibs another old standard that's always needed because, well, see above.

9) Plastic clacker toys. They're colorful, they make noise, and they're so much easier to keep clean than plush toys.

10) Natural wood rattles are lightweight and can double as a safe BpA-, phthalate- and PVC-free teether.

11) "Touch and feel" board books. It used to be that Pat the Bunny was the only one easy to find at major retailers, but there are may more titles available now. I like the idea of giving Baby an old-school book because you can't learn about textures on a tablet.

12) Lavender bath and lotion. Lavender is popular because the scent is comforting for both Baby and Bather.

13) Gift cards. Toys R Us, Target and Amazon seem especially appreciated because parents can use them online and take advantage of home delivery.

Please join us for The NEW THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

I am not MIss Melly

I found myself on the train home tonight with The Saddest Boy in the World. This sad sack neighbor simply sucks the life out of me.

His job at Macy's doesn't pay enough ... he was too sick to attend any of our recent condo association meetings but he doesn't like the changes the board is considering ... he doesn't like our  janitor ... the snow is hard on his feet ...

45 fucking minutes of this.

The only upbeat moment was when we discovered we both go to the same dentist. When dental work is the high point, you know you're in conversation hell.

I got home, watched NCIS, and fell asleep. Being around him literally sapped my energy.

I feel like a bitch because I only spend time with him every six to nine months and even this slight exposure puts my teeth on edge.

I know he's lonely. He's living alone in the apartment he once shared with his long-ill mother. He has so little in his life. And yet just spending a commute from the Loop with him makes me crazy.

Melanie Wilkes wouldn't feel this way. Miss Melly, that paragon of virtue from Gone with the Wind, saw the good in everyone. She believed we were each doing our best. She is who I want to be, and I always fall short.

The thing of it is, though, the Saddest Boy in the World doesn't know how I feel. Inwardly I may recoil every time I see him but outwardly I'm polite and friendly.

So while I may not be Melly on the inside, I appeared rather like her on the outside. That counts for something.

Don't harsh my fantasy with reality

It's funny how revelations dawn on me, and I'm forever surprised by the messenger that brings them.

I've learned that I am tired. I used to be very proud of my independence, and while I still value it, I've concluded that it's a double-edged sword. I'm not lonely, for there's no one that I know or that I've ever met that I want to spend more of my life with. I just wish life was easier. And I'm tired.

How did I reach these conclusions? By watching Bonanza. While stuck in bed with a summer cold, I realized that when the Cubs weren't playing I could watch Bonanza at least twice a day. Part of the appeal was nostalgia. (We used to watch it as a family when I was a kid.) Part of it was laziness. (Where did I leave the remote?) Part of it was the allure of the times. (Ah, to have my own horse!) Part of it was men in tight pants. (See? Westerns and baseball do have something in common.)

As I got more into the show, I became fascinated by how amazingly, consistently competent the Cartwright men were. Really, over 13 seasons and 430 episodes, nothing happened that these guys couldn't handle.

My favorite Cartwright is Adam. To see why, watch Jack Knife, an episode from season 3. In the space of an hour, he comes upon an injured man in the road, correctly identifies his malady as broken ribs, and gets the stranger home. There he takes charge because he knows how anesthetize the poor guy with whiskey and bandage his ribs with a torn bedsheet. Then he moves into the man's barn and proceeds to repair a fence ... replace a window ... teach the man's young son how to chop wood ... give a demonstration of target shooting and a lecture about the responsible use of firearms ... solve the mystery of the cattle rustlers ... defend the wife's honor ... help the man and his wife reconcile ... restore the man in his young son's eyes ...

Hell, he's the perfect combination of Bob Vila and Mary Poppins in a pair of fetching black jeans.

I want one.

So then, the question becomes, why don't I have a one?

Because there is no such man.

A real man wouldn't just show up when I needed him to fix things, share his wisdom, and, well, in the parlance of the time, "romance" me. An actual human would happen to be around even when I didn't want him here. He would have faults and execute bodily functions. He would be imperfect. (After all, the actor who played Adam was prematurely bald.) I'm afraid at this stage in my life I have no tolerance for masculine frailty or folderol.

Which is why I've come to the conclusion that my latest geek obsession isn't fueled by simple lust.  What I'm longing for is more profound: rescue.

I've been completely self supporting since I was 17. I lived in a family where my self sufficiency was the thing about me that was lauded and rewarded. "At least the Gal can take care of herself." I've carried that into my adult life. The men I've been involved with have unfailingly appreciated that I'm neither clingy nor dependent.

Consequently it's hard for me to ask for help. I was tremendously moved by Elizabeth Edwards' book, Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers, because she writes so unsparingly of her own heartbreaks and hardships and how she learned to reach out. I have successfully begun doing that. When things have been tough, I have called on friends and they have never let me down.

But it's the day-to-day that's wearing on me. When the paycheck I get on the 31st just doesn't stretch until the 15th, I'd like Adam to cover my bills. When my bedframe collapsed right before I was to leave for vacation, I want Adam to fix it.*

In the 1970s, there was an ad campaign for bath beads. Overstressed women would cry out, "Calgon, take me away!"

Me? My admittedly retro fantasy is to see these four riding across the meadow, ready to come to my rescue. And I'm good with this. Sigh.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put on my boots and trudge through even more falling snow to catch the el, where I won't get a seat. But in my imagination, Adam's buggy will be out front and of course he'll lift me into it. Because, well, we can't have these feet getting wet, can we?

*He actually does repair a bedframe in season six, an episode called Woman of Fire. No shit, this man can do anything.

And I'm on the fourth floor

Here's the Super Bowl Sunday view from my living room. That's 13" of snow on my windowsill. We got 18" on the ground. I thought it was quite thrilling.

Of course, I don't have to shovel it or drive in it. That might account for my fondness for the white stuff.

And say what you will about Mayor Rahm (and people sure do), he keeps the streets plowed and the sidewalks salted.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Now that January 2015 is one for the record books, it's time to look back at how I'm doing with my resolution to work out, save money and improve my personal environment.

The Good. This being more careful with my money thing is working out well. By being more thoughtful about where I spend and what I spend it on, I was able to save $40, which I put toward my Associated Bank Visa card. It's easier and more satisfying than I thought it would be.

The Bad. I haven't kept up with cleaning and purging. I've been too exhausted by drama. There's been drama at work and drama with my condo association and it's been too easy and too comforting to just curl up on my lumpy futon and crash.

The Ugly. I haven't worked out with my trainer in months, and the weight I lost before Christmas is back. I eat way too much salt and sugar. I must stop this.

I'm trying not to slide into self-shaming. I fucked up. So be it. February is a new month. All I can do is redouble my efforts to stay Good and ease some of my Bad and Ugly behavior over.

31 Days of Oscar Blogathon -- Oscar Snubs

 

Bruce Willis reminds me of Cary Grant.

Now hear me out!

Both have impeccable timing and are highly adept with rapid fire dialog. Each moves with unexpected grace. Both disappear completely into character and make acting look easy. And, no matter how much success they enjoyed at the box office, neither got much love from Oscar in the competitive category.*

In his entire 34 year career, Grant received 
two lonely Oscar nominations 

and didn't win either time.

Bruce has been making movies for 28 years 
and has received nary a one.

I can think of two roles that could easily have placed Bruce Willis in the running for an Oscar. Both of these performances contributed enormously to the artistic and commercial success of their films, and both of these movies were nominated for Best Picture. And yet no nomination for Bruce.

1994. Pulp Fiction. Butch Coolidge. When Pulp Fiction was made and originally promoted, Bruce Willis was its only star. Travolta's career was still moribund. Samuel L. Jackson was not yet a household name. Uma Thurman was a celebrity with a pretty face but not a serious actress. Bruce Willis was the Emmy winner (Moonlighting) who'd left TV and become an action star of the first magnitude with Die Hard and The Last Boy Scout.

It's a chopper, Baby, and Zed's dead

We now know Pulp Fiction as a major success and a cultural touchstone. But at the time, a non-linear narrative soaked with kinky sex, illicit drugs and lots of blood was a very risky choice for a star. If not for Bruce Willis' early and enthusiastic participation, Tarantino would have had a much harder time getting financing and distribution.

As Butch, Bruce plays a boxer with an elastic moral code who -- instead of throwing the match, as gangster Marsellus paid him to do -- actually kills his opponent.

And that is one of the more savory and explicable things that happens to Butch. How to describe what goes on in the basement of Maynard's pawn shop, where Butch has an unforgettable encounter with Marsellus, Zed and The Gimp? It's ugly, it's horrifying and yet somehow Bruce still makes it funny at times.

Like when the bloody Butch wordlessly works his way through the pawn shop, trying to find the right weapon to avenge/liberate Marsellus. Hammer? Bat? Chain saw? He looks up catches sight of the katana. It's love at first sight. He breathlessly takes it down and removes it from its sheath, sensuously enjoying the the very feel of it in his hands. (Please don't make me report what happens next.)

He's as believable when he's brutal as he is when he's tender. His lover, Fabienne, is staggeringly obtuse yet he's endlessly patient with her. Think of when he asks her whether she got her favorite blueberry pancakes for breakfast, or explains that no, he didn't get his cracked rib from giving her "oral pleasure," or when he reassures her it's not her fault that she left his most treasured possession -- his father's watch -- behind. As Butch, Bruce Willis gives a virtuoso performance.

While Pulp Fiction got seven Oscar nominations, Bruce's daring yet unerringly authentic turn got overlooked. Seen today, Bruce is every bit as good as the nominated John Travolta. But imagining what it was like to watch Pulp Fiction 20 years ago, Travolta may have seemed like the revelation. It would have been a thrill to have him back, doing the twist with his joie de vivre in tact, while it was easy to take Bruce Willis for granted in 1994 since he had been working steadily, almost frenetically, in front of the cameras for the past decade.

Along with Travolta, the nominees for Best Actor that year were:
•  Winner Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump)
•  Paul Newman for his charming and subtle turn in Nobody's Fool (where he was supported by Mr. Willis)
•  Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption
•  Nigel Hawthorne for The Madness of King George.

I haven't seen Hawthorne's performance, so I have nothing to say about it, but I can see bumping Morgan Freeman for Bruce. I'm not sure Freeman's wasn't a supporting role and perhaps he was in the wrong category.

1999. The Sixth Sense. Dr. Malcolm Crowe. Even though by the end of the 90s we knew him best as a wise-cracking action hero, we never doubt for a moment that he's a soft-spoken, compassionate psychologist devoted to children. His domestic scenes with screen wife Anna are touching in their longing and diffidence. He captures that feeling we've each had when we feel like we're standing on the shore, watching someone we love float farther and farther away.

Most of all, I love his scenes with Haley Joel Osment. Dr. Crowe addresses young Cole Sear with respect and patience but never an ounce of condescension. When Cole shares his secrets with the psychiatrist, beginning with "small" ones about being bullied and leading up to the big reveal that gave us an unforgettable tagline ("I see dead people"), Willis is a compassionate stand-in for the audience. He's hearing it. He's absorbing it. He's shocked by the revelations and at the same time impressed by his young patient's courage and decency. Osment never received such glowing reviews again, and I wonder if it's because he never again found himself paired with an actor as sensitive and attuned to a child actor.

At the Oscars, The Sixth Sense earned six nominations, but Bruce came up empty. The Best Actor category that year ended up being a horse race between far showier performances: Denzel Washington in Hurricane and ultimate winner Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. The other three nominees -- Russell Crowe in The Insider, Richard Farnsworth in The Straight Story and Sean Penn in Sweet and Lowdown -- were all from smaller, artier movies and I suspect that Bruce was hurt by his massive commercial success in Armageddon and The Fifth Element the previous year.

It's too bad he was damned for his box office performance, because he used the clout it gave him wisely. Before working with Bruce, M. Night Shyamalan had even fewer credits than pre-Pulp Tarantino. Yet Bruce, fresh off two of his biggest hits, snapped at the opportunity to work with this virtual unknown, ensuring that The Sixth Sense got financing and a wide release. As Yogi Berra would say, "It's like deja vu all over again."

Other missed opportunities for Oscar glory. Here are two lesser seen Willis performances that have an enduring spot in my heart:

•  In Country. (1989). Emmet Smith. This movie was a box office dud when Bruce was a very hot property, so I never expected him to be rewarded with a nomination. Yet he's very moving in his most passive performance as a Vietnam veteran, now content to waste his days drinking beer on the porch and eating in front of the TV.  In his way, he's very devoted to his niece, Sam, whose father was killed "in country"  before she was born. He helps Sam learn about the father she never knew, and in the process teaches us all a little about the boys we as a nation sent overseas in the 1960s and 1970s.

• Moonrise Kingdom (2012). Captain Sharp is an ironically named law enforcement officer who only shares one thing with the quick-witted NY cop in Die Hard, and that is Bruce Willis. Blond, balding and frankly fifty, Captain Sharp is always the last to know anything that goes on in the small and quirky New England town writer/director Wes Anderson created. Sharp may not know much, but he realizes how dim he is, and that self-awareness enables him to be more sensitive to the (very) young runaway lovers he apprehends.

*Yes, Grant was given an honorary Oscar in 1970. I predict the same thing will happen to Bruce. About 15 awards seasons from now, when he's 75, he'll step out onstage in a tux and and give us one his perfect little smirks as he accepts a statuette representing his Lifetime Achievement in film.





Read more about the Academy Awards through the 31 Days of Oscar Blogathon! Here are the topics:

February 2-3 THE ACTORS!
February 9-10 OSCAR SNUBS!
February 16-17 THE CRAFTS! (Music, Costumes, Cinematography, Writing, etc.)
February 23-24 PICTURES AND DIRECTORS!

... And here are the hubs:

Once Upon a Screen 
Outspoken and Freckled
Paula's Cinema Club

I encourage you to check them out.

Fire up the DVR for 31 Days of Oscar on TCM. Here is the schedule. 

Sunday Stealing

To play along, click here:

Average hours of sleep: About seven, though they're seldom consecutive

Last thing I googled: "Medically induced coma." I heard the news story about Bobbi Kristina Brown and wondered why a doctor would do this. Learned how it protects the brain during neurosurgery, which was interesting, but I don't think that pertains to Whitney's daughter.

One place that makes me happy: Wrigley Field. It's snowing right now, so it's important to remember that it's just 64 days until someone throws out the first pitch. I say "someone" because, unfortunately, it won't be Mr. Cub, Ernie Banks. This is the end of a most wonderful era.

How many blankets I sleep under: Usually none. It gets very warm in my condo, all year around, so a sheet usually does the trick. I have an afghan at the foot of my bed in case in gets cold, and a blanket in my armoire, just in case it gets truly frigid.

What are you wearing right now: An oversized Titanic tshirt. It amuses me that I'm wearing a shirt that says, "Permission Granted to Come Aboard." If only someone would ask!

Last book you read: Man on the Run: Paul McCartney in the 1970s.

Favorite fictional character: I remain Ponderosa obsessed and keep waiting for Adam Cartwright to come and rescue me. (Damn you, MeTV and TVLand!)

Last movie I watched in the cinema: The Imitation Game. It was excellent. I'd still like to see The Wild, Still Alice, and lots of other Oscar-nominated films and performances, but they haven't made their way to my local theater yet. Depending on the snow, I may go see Whiplash with JK Simmons this afternoon. (Love him. He was the shrink, Dr. Scoda, on Law & Order and  the dad in the movie Juno. I hear he was on SNL last night, but I missed it.)

Dream vacation: I'd loooooove to visit Boston again and stay at the luxurious Mandarin Oriental. I'd get spa treatments and wander one of my favorite cities and visit the soon-to-be-reopened updated exhibits at the JFK Library.

Dream wedding: Just call me "Lady McCartney."

Dream pet: I'll be literal about this and say Charlotte, in that last night I actually had a dream where my late, much-missed girlcat was still here.

Dream job: Hopefully the one I have will be my dream job very soon. We're hiring new staff and I'm very enthusiastic that they will make things better at the office.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? I'm not sure I understand the question. So I'll say I was the happiest and healthiest when I was 35.

Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying. I am guilty of this, by the way.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Filthy lucre.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Papa Loved Mama (1992)


1) This song is about a trucking "accident" that was covered extensively in the local paper. What's the big news story in your neighborhood? Today is the funeral of Mr. Cub, Ernie Banks, so the city is saying goodbye to one of our most beloved citizens. He's being laid to rest on what would have been his 84th birthday, which seems very fitting.

2) The action centers around a motel. When is the last time you stayed in a hotel or motel? Christmastime in Key West.

3) In the song, Papa wants to surprise Mama with a bottle of wine. Do you prefer white or red? I'll just have a Coke, if you don't mind. Wine gives me a headache.

4) This week's featured artist, Garth Brooks, has said that the late Chris LeDoux -- singer, sculptor and rodeo champion -- is his hero. If you had to single out someone this morning as your hero, who would it be?  My all-time idol is JBKO. She was a lady who took everything life handed her -- and it seems it was always either very, very good or devastatingly bad -- and faced it head on and with tremendous grace.

5) Before he was able to support himself as a singer, Brooks was a bouncer at a bar. Have you ever had an encounter with a bouncer (either that he threw you out or came to your aid)? Nope. I've had a bartender or two come to my assistance, but I've never met a bouncer.

6) According to the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America), Garth surpassed The Beatles as the top selling artist of the last 25 years. Whose music do you listen to more -- Garth Brooks or the The Beatles? If you don't already know the answer to this, you don't visit this blog often.

7) While 1992 was a banner year for Garth Brooks, it was a bad one for another country legend, Willie Nelson. Willie ended up paying the IRS more than $9,000,000. When you file your taxes, will you qualify for a refund? Or will you owe money? Refund.

8) When this song was popular in 1992, Sarah Ferguson, then the Duchess of York, was in all the papers and magazines for her controversial conduct -- including being photographed sunbathing topless with a man not her husband. Today no one seems to care much about what Sarah Ferguson does. Can you think of someone else whose fame was fleeting? Remember Paris Hilton? No one else seems to, either.
 
9) This is Super Bowl weekend. Where will you be watching The Big Game? I've got about a million movies on my DVR that I'm going to catch up on instead.

Thursday Thirteen #228

THE TOP THIRTEEN SHOWS

50 YEARS AGO

I admit I have become obsessed with classic television shows. I watch them, I study them, and now I'm blogging about them. Me-TV is my #1 go-to station these days. Part of it is nostalgia. Part of it is me giving props to the biggest cultural juggernaut to hit during my lifetime.

So it's with great affection that I look back on Nielsen's top-rated shows for the 1964-1965 TV season. I admit I'm old enough to remember all of them, though my parents wouldn't let me watch Peyton Place and Combat! really didn't hold my attention for long. Looking over this list, I could do a whole other post about what it tells us about women in the early-mid 1960s, but that's another TT for another time.

1) Bonanza. NBC. Season 6. Ben Cartwright and his three sons ride herd over their ranch, The Ponderosa.

2) Bewitched. ABC. Season 1. Samantha is a witch who, though married to an ordinary mortal, cannot resist using her magic powers.

3) Gomer Pyle, USMC. CBS. Season 1. Misadventures of Mayberry's Gomer in the Marine Corps.

4) The Andy Griffith Show. CBS. Season 5. Sheriff Andy Taylor keeps the peace in a sleepy Southern town called Mayberry.

5) The Fugitive. ABC. Season 2. Dr. Richard Kimble, unjustly convicted of killing his wife, runs from Lt. Gerrard and death chamber.

6) The Red Skelton Hour. CBS. Season 14.  A musical-variety show starring comedian Red Skelton.

7) The Dick Van Dyke Show. CBS. Season 4. Rob Petrie's life as a comedy writer for the fictional Alan Brady Show, and suburban husband and father.

8) The Lucy Show. CBS. Season 3. The misadventures of widow Lucy Carmichael, secretary to stuffy banker Mr. Theodore Mooney.

9) Peyton Place. ABC. Season 1. The continuing story of love and scandal in a small New England town.

10) Combat! ABC. Season 3. The story of an American infantry squad fighting in Europe during WWII.

11) Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color. NBC. Season 11. An anthology series for the whole family, hosted by Walt Disney.

12) The Beverly Hillbillies. CBS. Season 3. The rural Clampetts strike it rich and find themselves living "in the Hills of Beverly."

13) My Three Sons. ABC. Season 5. Widower Steve Douglas raises his sons with the help of Uncle Charlie.

Please join us for The NEW THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

This meme is no more. And yet I persist in answering the three questions it asked each week. Stubborn, ain't I?

• What are you currently reading? The Cracker Factory by Joyce Rebeta-Burditt. I first read this novel more than a decade ago, and I literally stumbled upon it when going through a carton of stuff in my bedroom. I'm enjoying it. Cassie is an alcoholic who keeps finding herself in a sanitarium, or "Cracker Factory." She's funny, but not that funny. In a way, that makes the book more credible. When characters crack too wise, are too clever, they seem more like refugees from a Neil Simon play than real people. Cassie's struggles seem kind of dated now, but women had a more limited view of themselves and their options in the 1970s, when this book is set. It's sobering (pardon the pun) to remember what the women who went a bit before me faced.

On a side note, the well worn paperback has claw marks on the cover. I suspect my late, lamented girlcat Charlotte "autographed" it for me. I like carrying that reminder of her around in my purse.

 

• What did you recently finish reading? Man on the Run: Paul McCartney in the 1970s by Tom Doyle. As one who reads obsessively about Sir Paul, I was surprised to learn anything I didn't know, and yet this was filled with much I didn't know. For example, this detailed how he got out of that Japanese prison, explaining how desperately the authorities wanted his drug bust to go away. If you, or anyone on your gift list, is a Beatle fan, I recommend this one.

• What will you read next? I dunno.

I am happy

It occurred to me this evening as I was walking home from the train that I am, suddenly, happy.

I had stomach trouble Sunday and Monday, so bad that I was housebound. I have felt stressed about all the craziness at work. I've fallen far off my resolution track (except for finances; I'm doing OK in that regard).

Today I was back at work and my boss seemed ... OK. Perhaps his loooove fever has broken. Then after work, I went to a going away party for The Chocolate Covered Spider and Blondie McBlonderson. I stayed about an hour. Didn't drink but did take advantage of the free food. (Bad for my weight, good for my budget.)

I didn't stay long. I don't like Blondie or Spidey and didn't like being a hypocrite. But it did seem to make them happy that I bothered to show up. Really. Blondie and I chatted a bit and Spidey actually hugged me and said, "This must be a big deal if the Gal showed up!"

It made me happy to make them happy. I may not like them, but they are people. And if such a small thing as sharing a couple glasses of ginger ale and three pieces of flatbread pizza can make them happy, then I was happy to do it. It literally cost me nothing. And doing good can be its own reward.

"My baby just wrote me a letter"

Last weekend I found myself distracted by my boss' bizarre behavior after the defection of his blonde mafia. A long-married man of about 60, he works overtime to be charming and relevant to the 35 year old Chocolate Covered Spider and 29 year old Blondie McBlonderson. Sometimes I think it's sweet that he's crushing on them, sometimes it hits me as a little skin crawly. Well, now that they have both resigned and are working through their notice, he's gotten downright wacky.

First he told us that the candidates who replace Spidey and Blondie should be "young, well-dressed women." He says he's basing on that what our client contact wants. First that's illegal. Second, it's bullshit. "Young, well-dressed women" is what he wants.

This week, I found out about the email. After Blondie told him she was leaving, he fired off a very emotional email. He told her how angry he was that she was leaving, that he felt as though she'd "knifed him in the back."

What? She's leaving to work with her husband in his internet start up. My boss didn't enter into her equation at all.

Even worse, he visited out clients' downstate offices and actually asked our client contact if she was as "mad" as he was about Blondie's and Spidey's departure.  

What? Yes, by all means, put it in our client's head that she'll be getting a compromised level of service from us.

This whole thing is getting so creepy that I don't want to go in tomorrow. Too much weird.

Sunday Stealing

Easy A-Z meme

A. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon. My current favorite scent is Exceptional. According to the manufacturer, it's "a distinctly feminine fragrance, crisp and elegant, with a spicy floral heart and a sensual dry down." 

B. Can you go a whole day without caffeine? Sure, if I was willing to endure headaches and withdrawal, so let's not.

C. Who knows more about you than anyone else? My oldest friend. We've known each other since Kindergarten.

D. What song did you last listen to? "That's All" by Genesis. "Just when I thought it was going all right,  I found I was wrong when I thought I was right, It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all ..."

E. Do you wear socks to bed? Very infrequently

F. Can you change a car tire? No

G. If you could choose one color to wear for a whole year, what color would you choose? Blue. Specifically Pantone 294, which is Cubbie blue.

H. Do you cook often? More than I used to. I'm trying to economize.

I. What’s your least favorite season? Summer. Heat makes me grumpy.

J. Can you sew? I can hem and I can mend.

K. What is your favorite fruit? Toss up between peaches and apples.

L. Are you health conscious? I'm working on improving my behavior in this area.

M. Do you think you’re very conscious of the feelings of others or more self oriented? I try to be sensitive, but I fear I'm not.

N. Do you curse a lot? Hell to the yes.

O. Do you remember lyrics easily? Yes

P. Can you roll your tongue? Yes

Q. Is there a certain food you often crave for no reason? Sometimes it's chips, often it's chocolate

R. What was the last book you purchased? The 2014 biography of JKBO. It was intense, but I learned a lot so I enjoyed it.

S. Where was your last vacation? I spent Christmas in Key West

T. Last movie you watched? Did you enjoy it? American Sniper. No, I didn't enjoy it at all.

U. Think of your oldest friend. If you met them now do you think you would still become friends? I like to think so. She maintains we're still basically the same as we were as Kindergarteners -- she's very warm and friendly, I'm very independent. We have both always been rather dreamy.

V. Paris, London and New York… which one would you live in, which would you visit for a day, which would you visit for a fortnight? New York for life, Paris for a day, London for a fortnight.

W. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? The door stays cracked open. My walk-in closet is where I stow the cats' litter boxes.

X. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen? My right little finger. I was playing volley ball ... badly.

Y. How do you like your eggs? Over easy.

Z. What was your last argument about and who with? A coworker. It blew over quickly.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Best Thing About Me Is You (2010)


1) What would you say is your best quality? I'm there for my friends.

2) In this song, Ricky sings that he's "allergic to tragedy." Do you suffer from any allergies? The drugs morphine and erythromycin, and bee sting. It's because of the last one that I have to carry an Epipen.

3) Benadryl, the popular allergy medication, is sometimes used to treat insomnia. What do you do when you can't sleep? Read or watch TV

4) The lyrics to this week's song encourage us, "Don't wait until mañana." Are you a procrastinator?  Very much so.

5) Ricky Martin is a judge on The Voice ... Mexico, aired on Mexican television. When you watch competition shows like The Voice, Dancing with the Stars or American Idol, do you usually agree with the judges? Or do you think you could do a better job? I don't watch American Idol auditions anymore because I swear I can't understand who makes the cut and who doesn't. Once the show starts, I generally agree with Harry and Keith.

6) Ricky tells interviewers that when he was very young, he'd sing in the family kitchen, pretending a wooden spoon was his microphone. Crazy Sam admits to lip synching into a black Magic Marker. When you gave imaginary concerts, what did you use as a microphone? Hairbrush

7) Ricky began working at the tender age of 9, performing in commercials. How old were you when you received your first paycheck? My first full-time, 40 hr/week check came when I was 17.

8) Ricky does yoga to stay in shape. Have you ever tried yoga? Yes. Didn't like. I found it impossible to completely relax in that room full of strangers.

9) Ricky is of primarily Spanish descent, with a little French mixed in. When you think of French cuisine, what comes to mind? pastry

Thank you, Mr. Cub

It feels like a death in the family. The greatest Cub player ever, Ernie Banks, has died. He was 83.

He was the first player of color to wear a Cub uniform. He was a Cub for all 2,528 games of his career, and the mark he left on my team and this city is immeasurable. But, since baseball is all about the stats, let's celebrate him with what is measurable.


•  512 Home runs
•  Back to back MVP Awards
•  Two time home run champion
•  14 All Star appearances
•  Major league Hall of Fame
•  First Cub to have his number retired
•  Winner of the Presidential Medal of Freedom
•  Named a Living Legend by the Library of Congress

Those last two make me want to cry, because unless you live in Chicagoland, you can't know what he's meant to us.

This man played short stop and first base from 1953 to 1971. Those were turbulent years in America, and here. (1968 Democratic Convention, anyone?) With his talent and spirit and class, Ernie gave us all someone to look up to and cheer. It doesn't matter that a lot of those Cub teams were losing teams, and that we never got to the World Series. He made each and every game feel like an opportunity.

He christened Wrigley Field, "The Friendly Confines." He coined the phrase for game day, "Let's play two." I've never known anyone to say Ernie turned down an autograph or a handshake. He was known for his work with the Live Above and Beyond Foundation and Kick Back, a group that collects gently used athletic shoes for young athletes in need. 

I saw Ernie Banks play. So did my father. So did my grandfather. He brought us all joy.

From The Chicago Tribune:

"Ernie Banks didn't invent day baseball or help build Wrigley Field. He just made the idea of playing a baseball game under the sun at the corner of Clark and Addison streets sound like a day in paradise, win or lose. ... He was a player who promoted the game like he was part of the marketing department. Not because he had to, but because he truly loved the Cubs and the game itself."