
These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Feeling ambitious and virtuous

Aren't they something?

No, I'm not 100% sure I like where healthcare is going. While I agree Gitmo had to close, I'm not sure I consider civil trials a more attractive option than military tribunals. The thought of being in Afghanistan for 4 or 5 more Thanksgivings makes me a little queasy.
All that said, I'm proud that the Obamas are who the world sees. They are wise enough and confident enough to believe what JFK said, "Civility is not a sign of weakness." They make me smile.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Heads or Tails -- Soft

You just know that everything about her -- her coat, her purr, her grip as she holds you with her paws -- is going to be soft. Makes me just want to pick her up and rub her against my cheek!
To play along, click here.
Happy Birthday to me (part 5)
Monday, November 23, 2009
This isn't supposed to be happening
Movie Monday -- Victory

The first one that comes to mind is The Natural. (Maybe because of the Roy Hobbs baseball card tacked to my bulletin board.) A young man of enormous promise gets on a train, off to the majors, with dreams of proving to the world that he's the best. Tragedy strikes and his dream is deferred. He returns to the game as a very old rookie and energizes his teammates, reminding them of how they loved the game when they were kids. To make a long story short, he leads them to the championship against very long odds.
It's a movie about baseball, and much more. It's a fable about what goes wrong in life, and what goes right, and what we can control and what we can't. It's about the impact of the past on the present.
"We have two lives. The life we learn with and the one we live with after that."
"You've got a gift, but that's not enough. You've got to develop yourself, too. If you rely too much only on your gift, you'll fail."
The ballparks are beautiful. The period costumes are beautiful. Redford is beautiful. The score is beautiful. If you haven't seen this elegiacal film, rent it!
Damn, I miss baseball.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Happy birthday to me (part four)
Saturday began with a big breakfast, then we went to the Lincoln's home. I have been here several times before, but it's always exciting to be in the only rooms where Abraham, Mary, Robert, Eddie, Willie and Tad all lived together, where he learned he'd been elected President. Then we went to the Presidential Museum. Again, nothing new here, except to be shocked and disgusted by how similar the personal attacks on Lincoln were to the ones Obama endures today. How little we have learned in 150 years!
One of the things I enjoy so much about my oldest friend is that she completely accepts, even sha

Then we walked on over to the Lincoln Depot. This was new to me. It was from this spot that Abe left Springfield for Washington, DC. The speech he gave, extemporaneously (!), is quite beautiful:
"My friends, no one, not in my situation, can appreciate my feeling of sadness at this parting. To this place, and the kindness of these people, I owe everything. Here I have lived a quarter of a century, and have passed from a young to an old man. Here my children have bee

Then we had lunch, went back to the room, and worked on our Nanos (see post below). We went down to the hotel restaurant and had a lovely dinner with cheesecake for dessert.
It was a fun birthday celebration. My oldest friend and I learned and laughed and bonded ... and ate and drank waaaaaay too much. I began my actual birthday with unsavory tummy trouble. (The less said, the better.)
The Amtrak ride was smooth and uneventful except for the laughter and conversation. Got home, took a nap, and woke up to a snack of Townhouse crackers and tea. I wish I felt better. I also wish I had more sense. I didn't have to eat everything in sight on Saturday. Oh, well ... My birthday is an ongoing celebration and I'm enjoying it.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Happy birthday to me (part three)

I don't know why really. It just feels right. She and I are both Abe-o-philes, and it will be nice to take the train and catch up with one another, face-to-face instead of over the phone or online. We'll get in touch with Abe and Mary again at their home, his Museum and, depending on the weather, his tomb.
Then we'll write and write and write. We're both participating in Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month). Our goal is to each write a 50,000 word novel between November 1 through November 30. She's far, far closer than I am. She's at 44,500 and I'm at ... er ... um ...9,300.
No matter. She'll get her novel done, but I'LL GET A PRESENT!!! I am the Birthday Girl, after all.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
My favorite moment
Happy birthday to me (part two)

Happy birthday to me (part one)
Then my theater buddy, Barb, took me out to a nice birthday dinner. I had my first orange blossom fizz (who knew I like gin?), an apple salad, chicken ravioli and, for dessert, a slice of pumpkin/gingerbread pie. Very yummy!

Then we went to see the world premiere of The Addams Family, with Nathan Lane as Gomez and Bebe Neuwirth as Morticia. It was soooo weird and so very, very funny. (I predict about a half hour of dancing will be cut when it gets to Broadway, but that's a small quibble.) And my gift? A beautiful, heavy white soap dish with solid bar of fragrant pomegranate soap, which will look good in my pink bathroom -- if I can find the right spot for it.
When I got home I found a gift from cousin Rose. It's a black Totes umbrella. Not as glamorous as Barb's gift, but appreciated all the same. Next to individual gloves, umbrellas are the item I forgetfully leave behind on the train most often.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
A DVD for the Somali pirates on your gift list

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid. Clearly they haven't seen it.
Somali pirates attack US-flagged Maersk Alabama for the second time, but crew repels attack. (CNN)
Monday, November 16, 2009
Movie Monday -- Memorable Death Scenes

Old Yeller. The puppycide takes place off screen, but that doesn't make it any less heartbreaking. Look at that doggy face. Go ahead. Every time I do, my throat closes a little.
Brian's Song. Maybe it's a Chicago thing, but the short life of Brian Piccolo, like Walter Payton, has the power to make grown men cry. I know that I once welled up in a bank when the theme was played on the Muzak overhead. The death scene has James Caan as Brian, acknowledging that he has lost his brave battle with cancer by saying, "Can you believe this?" and then closing his eyes. The movie ends with a voice over: "Brian Piccolo died of cancer at the age of 26. He left a wife and three daughters. He also left a great many loving friends who miss and think of him often. But when they think of him, it's not how he died that they remember - but how he lived."
The Godfather. Thinking of James Caan, he also had a very famous death scene in the causeway. Sonny, Sonny, Sonny, your temper always got the best of you!
Bonnie and Clyde. Oh. My. God. It's so violent, so inevitable, so awful. It begins with Clyde looking up at the birds and suddenly knowing what it means. His eyes lock with Bonnie's, and she realizes it, too, and looks at him with such love. Then the shooting starts. It's hard to describe how jarring this scene is upon first viewing (or how liberally Coppola borrowed from it for Sonny's murder in the causeway).
Psycho. Speaking of iconic death scenes, who can forget Janet Leigh's beautiful, horrified face as she tries to defend herself from mother's knife in the shower?
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Is it bad that this made me kinda happy?

Instead, he turned away, saying, "You should be here."
"We always celebrate my birthday on Thanksgiving. We can do that again this year." That's not exactly true. My birthday was always a separate family event. Then my kid sister, his mother, decided about 7 years ago that she was busier than I am and not about to go out of her way for me anymore. (I never noticed her going out of her way for me at all, but never mind. Another story for another time.) I don't argue with her or stand up for myself anymore because I worry that she'll block my access to the kids. Now that I think of it, she hasn't invited me for Thanksgiving yet ...
"Thanksgiving is too late this year! Your birthday is November 22!" As if I don't know my birthday. His frustration surprised me.
"Are you upset about this?" I asked as his glasses came off.
"He's been planning a party for you," my mom said, coming back into the room where he and I were playing. Hearing her say that started the tears.
I explained to him that I was sorry and upset, too. After all, who was missing out on singing and a present? Me! But I told him we had two choices:
1) Celebrate on Thanksgiving anyway
2) Have his party as planned, but the following Sunday
No, he insisted. It's no good if it's not closer to my actual birthday! I showed him my datebook and how my friends had different celebrations planned for me throughout the month. I said, "My birthday is not a day, it's a festival." He wrote his name down on my calendar for Sunday the 29th, we hugged, and went back to Monopoly.
Naturally I'm sorry to see him cry. But it was gratifying to know my special day meant so much to him. He's such a sweet boy.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Sunday Stealing
Sunday Stealing: The Over the Top Meme
Part One - Describe:
Your hair? Short again, and probably forever more.
Your mother? Doing better, thank you.
Your father? Died almost 20 years ago.
Your favorite food? Burgers. Or maybe cheeseburgers. Yummmm ...
Your dream last night? I don't recall
Your favorite drink? Coke.
Your dream/goal? To restore order to this messy condo!
The room are you in? Living room
Your hobby? Sitting on the sofa, farting around on the Internet
Your fear? Plane crash
Your TV? Showing a Man from UNCLE rerun
Your Pets? Three highly individual cats
Friends? Quite an eclectic collection!
Your life? My own, thank you very much.
Your mood? Slightly unsettled
If you're missing someone? Yes
Your best friend? Yes! How did you know that's who I miss?
Part Two - The Where's?
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Sitting on a new sofa
Where were you last night? Grocery shopping
Where did you grow up? A suburb two or three towns over
One place that I go to over and over? Downstairs to the laundry room
Your favorite place to eat out? Monk's Pub. Great burgers!
Wish list items? Adam Lambert's debut CD, a nice new humidifier for the living room ... that's all that springs to mind right now. Not too glamorous, I know.
Last time you laughed? Watching a clip of Esteban Colberto interviewing Lou Dobbs about immigration.
Last time you cried? At the health club Friday. It had nothing to do with my workout. It's just I had time alone with my thoughts as I strode along on the treadmill. I'm sure no one noticed.
Part Three - The What's?
Something that you aren't? Organized!
Last thing you did? Yelled at Reynaldo, the world's worst cat. I don't know why I bother. It seems only to amuse him, not deter him.
What are you wearing? A nightshirt that says, ironically enough, "She who loves cats."
Something you're not wearing? My watch
Your favorite store? The Body Shop
"Why Me?"

This movie reaches in and manipulates your guts. There's only one scene of physical violence, but the language is so abusive and harsh it feels like surgery.
I won't apologize for being worried about my job and financial insecurities. I am 52 next week and am my own sole source of support. I have no relatives to lean on, and a couple who depend on me. I am scared, and would have to be beyond irresponsible to not face my situation head on and consider how to make it better.
On the other hand, I have gifts and advantages denied to Precious and kids like her. I am grateful for that, and am humbled by the reminder that, while Precious takes place in Harlem in the 1980s, I know there teens who live hopeless lives less than 20 minutes from where I sit.
I started the day watching good, old-fashioned courage and patriotism in The Fighting Sullivans. I capped the day with Precious, also an American tale of heroism. Film-making is an American artform, and I experienced two excellent examples of it today.
PS Precious got it's launch at this year's Sundance Film Festival, founded by Robert Redford. The Quintessential Golden Boy and Precious. It's hard to think of two movie characters with less in common, and yet they are tied together. I like that.
I need me some corn

I have errands to do today, and I'm worried anew about my job. On days like this, I needs me some Andy. I just do.
"Our boys are afloat again"

The photo shown here is of the real Sullivan brothers, while the quote is from the movie. It's what their mother said at the christening of the ship named for her sons.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must wipe my eyes and blow my nose.
It's that most wonderful time of the year

I'd just begun to relax. Our agency president made no mention of Christmas bonuses but told us we'd turned a corner and could look forward to salary increases in 2010. I'm not complaining because I know this recession has been hard on everyone, but I haven't had a raise in 3 years. With insurance premiums rising, my take-home pay today is actually less today than it was last year.
I suspect we can kiss raises goodbye, at least on this team, and just be glad if we have our jobs in six months.
Friday, November 13, 2009
I am strong! I am invincible! I am woman!

Using the smaller, pointier snake -- not the bigger, flat-headed snake suggested for tubs -- I was able to extricate a clog that was made up of hair and broken pieces of pumice stone. (I wondered where that thing had gone.)
While I am feeling very accomplished, I wish Billy Mays was still here to read this. I believe this fine product was originally his.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Something beautiful amid all the ugly

She is the first wife of Washington DC sniper John Allen Muhammad and the mother of his oldest child, a young man named Lin. She went to Virginia for the execution because she wanted her son, who really never saw Muhammad and considers his mother's long-time fiance his dad, to say whatever he felt he needed to say. Then, she said, she and her fiance would bring Muhammad's body home for burial.
Muhammad cheated on her during their short marriage and left her to raise their son alone. She has no doubt that he was guilty of the attacks that left people dead, injured, and terrified. She does not delude herself that he was ill or misunderstood. She told Larry King, "I'm praying for myself, for my son, and also for the families of the victims."
Yet she made the trip to Greenville Correctional Center so her adult son could find closure, or at least have no regrets about not saying goodbye. Then she and her fiance brought the executed sniper's body home.
I don't know how any of the TV talking heads and politicians who act like only they can define Christianity feel about this, but I believe Carol Williams walks it like she talks it.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Starting with the books

So this evening I am going through the books on the floor and in the magazine racks and on/under/beside the coffee table and deciding which ones to part with. I always hate getting rid of books, so to take some of the sting out of it, I'm taking them to Goodwill. Maybe they'll make it out onto the salesfloor in time to be someone's Christmas gift. That would make me happy.
TONIGHT'S TOTAL: 8 paperbacks and 9 hardcovers.
Lordie, but I'm a geek!

1) I knew I was on my way to see my shrink, God bless her. I see her monthly, so I had this appointment scheduled for weeks and I'd forgotten about it. But the timing couldn't have been better. Just knowing she was going help me put all this in perspective put it in perspective, if that makes sense.
2) I listened to Mickey and Judy sing "How About You?" on my iPod. It's from the 1941 film, Babes on Broadway. There's even an interlude toward the middle where they tapdance! I love listening to these two put on a show. Though I know I am undoubtedly the only woman on the el Green Line last night with Mickey Rooney downloaded on her iPod. Yes, I'm a geek. But they made me so happy!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
A nice pick-me-up to battle my bad mood!
People Love That You're Kind and Compassionate |
![]() You're the kind of gal who really enjoys putting other people first. You enjoy pitching in and making a difference. Your heart really goes out to anyone in need. In fact, it's difficult for you to turn your back on someone who's struggling. As long as you have friends who don't take advantage of you, your empathy is only a good thing. If there were more people in the world like you, you wouldn't feel like you have to look out for everyone. |
I'm in a weird mood

The project upon my plate has an inflexible template and I have to tell everything there is to know about this checking account in less than 250 words. This isn't creative. This is like doing a puzzle. I'm not inspired. I am, however, annoyed.
I'm also annoyed that I still haven't received my expense reimbursement. I'm tempted to say, "It's only $50," but that's not how I feel. Do I look like Ivanka Trump? I can't just turn up my nose at this money. It's $47. MY $47! And I want it!
My best friend is interviewing, I just know it. He's in remote mode again, and I'm sure it's because he knows how I feel about all this. He's 43 years old -- if he doesn't get out of financial marketing (which he really no longer cares for) now, he may never get out of it, and that makes me sad. He lives in an enormous house that he couldn't unload now if he wanted to, and I know his wife is happier as a stay-at-home mom, and I know this isn't my business anyway, but I'm sad nevertheless.
There's no Cubs baseball anymore until Spring.
If one more person comes in here, I may scream.
I wasn't in this mood this morning. I don't know why the bottom fell out. But it has. And I hate it.
Tuesday Tunes

This year it's been all about Amy. It took me a while (too long) to get into her because her life is such a tabloid-magnet/train wreck. But I love her voice, her lyrics and her sensibility. I love Frank and Back to Black is on right now and my favorite songs are "F-Me Pumps" and "Tears Dry on My Own." I hope she gets it together and keeps it together and makes more music soon.
To play along yourself, click here.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Movie Monday -- Life Changers
The Way

If you happen to run into Streisand, thank her for me.
To play along with the Bumbles, click here.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Sometimes ...
The “Sometimes” Meme: All you have to do is finish the sentence…
Sometimes I just need: to have a quick touchpoint with my best friend.
Sometimes I want: everyone to do what I want them to do!
Sometimes I like to: just blab with my mom on the phone
Sometimes all it takes: is a walk, wearing my headphones, looking at the sky through the trees (or, now that it's fall, through the branches)
Sometimes I picture: myself in 15 or 20 years. Which Golden Girl will I be most like? Dorothy, I know.
Sometimes I wish: I had as much focus domestically as I do professionally.
Sometimes I find: times races by faster each day.
Sometimes I take: a really long look at my complexion in the magnifying mirror. At least that hard work has paid off!
Sometimes I look: for that crazy guy from the train platform who went off on me way back last March. I really hate how much space he takes up in my head.
Sometimes I hate: that things are so terribly divisive in this country. (Snarkypants' answer, and it's just right for me, too.)
Sometimes it’s nice: to just soak in the tub.
Sometimes it hurts: when I think of how much I'll miss special people in my life.
Sometimes it makes me happy: to just be grateful.
Sometimes it’s sad: that I don't feel wiser or more sophisticated by the time I'm this age.
Sometimes I listen: to Sir Paul, just to remind me of who I've been and who I am. He's the soundtrack of my life.
Sometimes I sleep: by just dozing off on the couch. Then I wake up hours later!
Sometimes I like to watch: Nancy Grace. That madwoman just cracks me up. Especially when she talks about "the twins."
Sometimes I feel: like my home is being engulfed by paper. How can this be? We're moving toward a paperless society! Will someone please tell the piles of mail on my diningroom table and the magazines on, under and beside the coffee table?
Sometimes I rant: while taking a shower.
Sometimes I never: believe I'll finish the books in my TBR pile.
Sometimes I really: get desperately sad for no real reason.
Ok, I admit it!
12 years already!

Most of the book is photos, and that's fine because really, what more do we need to hear about her short, tragic life? Instead I found myself enchanted by her again. She wasn't the most beautiful woman in the world -- the nose was too long for that. But she certainly was one of the most charismatic ever. Charming whether in a gown and tiara or on her knees to accept flowers from a child, every photo radiates warmth.
I miss her, and sometimes wonder what she would have done with the last 12 years.
Sunday Stealing
26. What color is your watch? I have several watches. The one I think I'll wear today has a silver band and a blue face.
27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? Nicole Kidman. I have just been reading about her on TMZ.
28. Would you strip for money? I am more curious about who would pay me for this service.
29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Not having a car limits my options.
30. What is your favorite number? 7
31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom
32. Any plans today? Yes. I especially hope Sunday includes a trip to the gym.
33. In how many states have you lived? Just one.
34. Biggest annoyance right now? Mildew on my shower curtain liner.
35. Last song listened to? "1985" by Paul McCartney & Wings (Band on the Run CD)
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No. Should I?
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? I have in the past but don't now.

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My Roxy flats. I love them.
39. Are you jealous of anyone? Any woman with smaller hips than mine.
40. Is anyone jealous of you? With this fat ass? Not likely!
41. Do you love anyone? Yes.
42. Do any of your friends have children? Almost all of them do.
43. What do you usually do during the day? Write.
44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? Not now.
45. Do you use the word hello daily? Yes.
46. What color is your car? I don't have a car ...
47. What size wedding ring do you wear? Nor do I have a husband.
48. Are you thinking about someone right now? Yes.
49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes. I love a good roller coaster.
50. How did you get your worst scar? The acne scars on my chin.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
My color for fall/winter
That was a lovely evening

She's still a kid, though. I heard about her Halloween costume, her friends, how much she enjoys George Harrison's music … (Not Paul! Where did I go wrong?) Her major problems with her mother, too. I was relieved because they don't seem like unusually serious problems, but I wanted her to know that I heard her, that I took her feelings seriously.
It was a nice way to end a very, VERY long week!
Friday, November 06, 2009
This is Fracheska Velez
![]() | She is one of two local soldiers killed yesterday at Fort Hood. |
As details continue to emerge about the carnage at Ft. Hood, it appears a pregnant Chicago woman was killed in the fray that claimed the lives of 13 soldiers Thursday.
Francheska Velez, 21, had just finished a tour in Iraq and returned to Ft. Hood three months pregnant. The Army had granted Velez, a 2006 graduate of Kelvyn Park High School, a maternity leave of abscence.
She was just weeks away from rejoining her family in Chicago.