It's sinking in

The sky today was such a beautiful, clear blue. It made me sad to think my mother didn't get to see it.

A freight train rolled by carrying John Deere tractors. My late uncle was so loyal to that brand and seeing the logo go by again and again and again made me miss him.

I don't like being sad. Perhaps that's the function of dealing with shit like funerals and wills and estate sales -- it occupies the mind until the heart is ready to absorb the pain of the inevitable.