Because tequila isn't really an answer

I wasted a great deal of Friday and Saturday being upset. And that's because my life sucks right now.  I have work trouble, dental trouble, money trouble. I could feel like a victim, or I could ...

 

via GIPHY

And so I have.

First, I called my oldest friend and unburdened myself to her. While sipping tequila. This was a fine but most temporary solve. For as soon as we hung up, my heart began beating out of my chest again -- ca-thunk, ca-thunk, ca-thunk -- like a character in an old cartoon. And I woke up with a headache.

Saturday morning, I listened to my shrink. She told me two important things: 1) my life does suck and I have to honor that I'm going through a difficult time and 2) these issues are not going to be resolved in the short-term, so I have to figure out how to live with them in the meantime. She's right. I can't keep obsessing and awfulizing or I'll miss the good things in my life. I'm going to the TCM Classic Film Festival later this month. I've been waiting for this for two years. I can't let these problems take that away from me.

I should listen to my shrink. I'm paying her and, well, she went to doctor school. So I'm taking her advice about bringing myself back to the moment -- a kind of remedial meditation technique she taught me -- and I took back a little bit of control. I checked out my dentist's website and there is a financing option, so even if I lose my job and insurance I may be able to afford at least some of the work.

Today, I paid attention in church. Sometimes God gets His message to me in the most round about fashion. For today, I didn't take strength from the sermon, the hymns or the prayers. No, it was the "story for all ages" that the pastoral assistant read to the kids before they went downstairs to religious education. It was a children's book that advises wee ones to draw upon and take comfort from their heritage. "Somebody, somewhere, at some point has been just as angry or scared as you are now."

That's true, you know. I'm in a rough patch right now. But I've been in rough patches before. My family and friends have been in rough patches, too. They don't last forever. We all come through on the other side. 

And so, I watched a lot of baseball. Both Cubs and Yankees. Baseball makes me happy. I checked over the schedule for the TCM Classic Film Festival and plotted which movies I'll see when. I cuddled my cats (fur has tremendous healing properties). When stress and anxiety began to creep in, I employed those little tricks my shrink taught me.

I'm going to be fine. I don't know how, exactly. But I will be fine. I know I will relapse and freak out again and again as I make my way through this, but that's OK, too. "Somebody, somewhere, at some point has been just as angry or scared as I am now." It doesn't last forever.

This photo cost me $5

My favorite-most Cub baseball player, Anthony Rizzo, is sponsoring a home run challenge. Every time he hits a home run, I donate $5 to help the families of kids battling cancer. For example, his Foundation regularly foots the bill for parking. Not being a driver, I didn't realize it's not uncommon for hospitals to charge patients as much as $20/day (maybe more!) to park. The average hospital stay for a child or adolescent with leukemia is 6 days. Parents with a sick kid take a week off work (often without pay) and then have to spend $120 on parking, so they're in a financial hole before their child ever receives treatment. Recently, he's been receiving many requests for gas cards. Some families have to drive long distances to get their kids to cancer treatments ... and I'm sure you've seen the escalation of prices at the pump.

Similarly, he's taken care of mortgage and rent payments for struggling families so parents "can focus on healthcare." At the end of last season, he took a group of New York City pediatric cancer patients  to FAO Schwartz for toys. This past March, he foot the bill for a group of South Florida pediatric cancer patients (near where he lives in the off season) to visit a petting zoo.

Now we can debate what it means when, in the richest country on earth, families have to depend upon the largesse of a baseball player, but I don't feel like doing that right now. I want to celebrate what Anthony Rizzo is doing. 

Here he is on Saturday, hitting his second home run in as many games. I love this shot so much because he's just watching the ball sail heavenward. Notice the bat is still in hand. He doesn't have to promptly drop it and take off for first because, well, that ball is gone.

I adore this man!

BTW, if you know of a child (under 18) who is battling cancer and would like to hear from Rizz, here's a link to his foundation and you can request a letter. If you know of a family struggling under the burden of medical costs, this is where you go, as well, to apply for a grant.