So a fresh-faced young man shouted into his phone. I don't know what he was trying to justify, nor can I be sure what he said was accurate. But it did strike a chord with me, because it reminds me of conversations I used to have all the time with my family in the bad old days.
I've been thinking about those awful days an awful lot. I don't know why, but I don't think it's healthy or productive. I'm thinking of resuming therapy to work through this.
But here's the thing: my shrink retired and moved to Boston. Do I really feel like starting over with someone new?
Also, I'm working hard at digging out of debt. Do I really want to add another monthly bill?
Or am I trying to put a price on health?
Hmmmm ....
Therapy is the best thing I ever did for myself. I miss going.
ReplyDeleteGal, you are a wonderful, hard working person, and I think the world is a much better place because you are here.
ReplyDeleteI also know how damaging childhood abuse is and how hard it is to rise above it.
I was recently told, " That little girl is gone." So I decided to listen. I tell "her", "Look how far you, little girl, have come".
Wow. I love what Zippi said. I need to tell that to that little girl when she shows up. I am not her any longer and I don't like going back to where her feelings take me.
ReplyDeleteI just stopped therapy in November - only because the therapist couldn't figure out where to go with me next. I have decided to work through a couple of workbooks for an hour a week. I am constantly amazed at how, even at 53, those first 18 years left so many fuckin' scars. Take care of yourself and do whatever you feel is best for you. I like Zippi's advice, too.
ReplyDelete