These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Friday, November 28, 2014
Playing catch up
I can't believe how long it's been since I've updated this blog! Part of it has been that old demon sloth, part has been that first I was busy and then I had the blues, part has been that I've been working fiendishly on my Nanowrimo, and part has been that I haven't known where to start. That's how I am when things get too far away from me -- once I finally pick up the shovel I don't know where to start digging.
So let's consider this post a bit of spadework.
At the beginning of last week I was battling the blues, and it's always easier to write about that once it's past.
Birthdays tend to be a time of reflection, and when I was reflecting I didn't like what I saw. I'm broke, my home is a mess, my career is stalled, I felt unappreciated by my friends ... once things started looking bleak, it spun out of control.
Looking back, there were four catalysts:
1) My poor Joey. He's fine now. Today he's affectionate, a little bit thinner, playing (even able to jump onto the bed on his own!) and eating. But my senior citizen kitty had been very ill earlier this month and, as I was preparing to go away to Las Vegas, I was worried about leaving him.
2) Financial woes. Not only are my personal finances a mess, it's come out that our condo association is broke, too. Like me, the board has been guilty of laziness and poor choices. I believe my dues are going up more than $40/month in 2015.
3) My cousin Rose. I love her, but if I spent more than 4 hours with her at a crack (really, I've timed it) I want to kill her. Since her divorce more than a decade ago, and then menopause, she's been judgmental and inflexible and more than a little angry. Last summer, I lied to her about the extent of my bathroom renovation because I didn't want her staying here. Well, guess what! She's coming back -- in March, maybe sooner! AAAARGH! Now I've got to get my bathroom done pronto or be caught in the lie. I don't want to hurt her, so as soon as I file my taxes I'll call Cute Handyman. Even though I resent doing it before I'm ready. And I don't want her staying here. And I feel guilty about how I feel about someone who is so dependably good to me.
4) My bedframe broke. I was getting into bed on Wednesday night and bam. I felt so helpless, like such a loser. Here I was leaving for Vegas Friday morning, and I was going to be in the Loop all day Thursday (try to find a hardware store in the Loop), plus I had to no idea how to fix the thing anyway. Well, I figured it out (duct tape, wood glue, and c-clamps).
Well, that's it for now.
Birthday and Thanksgiving updates to come.
golly girl...here i thought you were off on a great vacation, living it up. sorry the blues hit..but thankful you're back! I miss reading your blog--and i must admit i worry a tad when you are gone so long.
ReplyDeletetake care xoxoxo
I've been sending you good vibes all week... And I've missed your posts. Hopefully the blues are going away.
ReplyDeletePhew! That's a lot going on. Glad to hear from you again, but sorry your vacation got off to such a bumpy start.
ReplyDelete