I met a girl who sang the blues

And she was me!

Yesterday we lost another coworker to layoffs. Lana. I really liked, respected and depended on her. She and Tom were the two I willingly spent the most time, socially, as well as the two I had the most in common with professionally. They are gone and I am hurting.

One of my officemates is blissfully unconcerned about the human toll of these layoffs and really, I couldn't bear to be around her another moment. Perhaps her attitude is, ultimately, healthier because this is advertising and it happens a lot. But the insensitivity of it really, really rankles.

So, last night, as I was packing up to go home, I decided not to come in today. My work for the week was already done, I was at the end of my tether, and I thought the alone time would rejuvenate me.

I was wrong. I remain slothful and sad today. All I've done is fart around on the computer, wash some clothes and take myself out to brunch. And, of course, fought with my cat Reynaldo, who believes that if I'm going to be home I should be doing his bidding.*

My mail was a bummer. Two (count 'em, two!) letters from the reverse mortgage company regarding my late mother's house -- even though it was never my property and they're on notice to speak directly to my attorney, not me.

My oldest friend is making plans to visit me this summer -- for more than a week (Friday to Sunday). That's a lot of togetherness with no alone time. I'll put a bullet in my brain! We've negotiated it down to Friday to Wednesday. I don't want to hurt her feelings -- I know she loves me and I'm grateful -- but I'm hoping we somehow have to scale it back even further.

I've got to get my mind right.

I miss baseball.

*I'm trying a new behavioral tack with him. Every time he does something to get my attention, I give it to him. I pick him up and kiss his nose, which he hates, and announce into his face, "I am giving you attention!" He really loathes this. It hasn't deterred him yet, though. Maybe it takes a while for cause/effect to penetrate his cranium. Or maybe, once again, resistance is futile and he will get his way.