Feeling kinda creepy

This is one of those posts where I share an unpleasant truth about myself.

Yesterday afternoon, while riding the el home, I had a very, very drunk boy as my seatmate. He smelled like booze and stale cigarette smoke. No, he REEKED of booze and stale cigarette smoke. He kept weaving and sliding in his sleep and often leaned into me. I COULD NOT STAND IT, so I woke him up so I could change my seat. I hoped I didn't hurt his feelings, but I COULD NOT STAND IT.

The part I felt bad about is this: I get off at one stop before the end of the line. I should have awakened him before I exited the train, just to make sure he got home safe. I didn't. I don't know why I didn't ... I think it's because I was so physically creeped out about myself.

This morning, while riding the el to work, I was near an entire smelly family. Mom, Dad and Baby. Sweat and cigarettes mixed with urine wafted my way. They were alert and chatting among themselves. Dad wore a lanyard and badge that showed he was an official vendor of Streetwise, the newspaper sold by Chicago's homeless. So I know they were industrious and probably doing the best they could to keep it together. Yet when I saw the pack of Newports in Mom's pocket, I wanted to yell, "Instead of cigarettes, why not buy SOAP?" But I just got up and stood by the door.

These people are my neighbors. I shouldn't be so judgemental. I am not proud of myself right now. But I want my blog to be an accurate portrait of myself at this point in my life, and this is part of who I am. (Unfortunately.)