Under Each Other's Skin

My best friend and I have hit a stormy patch. I won't go into gory detail, but here's the dynamic in a nutshell: One of us does something to annoy the other;* somehow it escalates and I get more emotional and he gets more withdrawn and soon something that should be nothing has become a painful rift.

This has happened to us three or four times over the last five years. The physical distance between us (I'm here in Chicago, he's in Denver) exacerbates problems and makes them harder to resolve, of course, but the fact is that we're just gifted at pressing one another's buttons.

As I was spinning out of control, infuriated beyond reason by his sullen pouting, he finally addressed what was going on between us, saying that when the more I "push," the more he wants to "dig in his heels" and resist.

But "everything is fine between us and I am not mad at you. Sometimes frustrated, but never mad. And don't you feel the same about me?"

Yes, yes, I most certainly do. He went on to say that when something is important to me, no matter what, he's there. Yes, yes, he certainly is. I will always be there for him, too.

I just wish we could act like the responsible adults we are (at least in other aspects of our lives) and not drive each other crazy like this. I pray that we never go too far. Strong though the bond between us is, I don't want to test it. I can't imagine my life without him.


* In this case, he started it. I know it shouldn't matter, but it does.