I wish I knew how I felt

I am in the midst of what may very well be my last period. I thought this would be a big deal. Maybe it is, but I have been preoccupied by the migraines I have gotten Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights. The one Wednesday night/Thursday dawn was debilitating, causing me to miss a half day of work and a meeting. I'm trying to be smart and to remember everything my doctor told me about when to dose to minimize the impact.

There's a certain symmetry to this. I can still recall my long-ago first period. It was summertime, too. We were on vacation at that lake we went to every year. I really didn't feel well at all. Part of it was the stomach problems that accompanied the stress of being trapped in the car for hours with my family, part of it was the excitement of being on vacation, and part of it was new and unknown to me -- my first-ever menstrual cramps.

At the beginning of the process, I was emotionally distracted from the enormity of what was happening to me by tummy trouble. Now at the end of Fertility Road, I am preoccupied with migraines. Maybe Mother Nature was protecting me then and is protecting me now. Maybe I'm not supposed to ruminate on the changes that are taking place.