No, this post isn't going to be about Brad and Jen. But instead about my personal Brad and Jen, the couple I thought would never split … until this week when they did.They met, got married and had two babies -- all in the space of four years. It happened fast, but he assured me that's how it happens when it's right. He was so proud of her accomplishments. When her work got mentioned in the newspaper or a professional journal, he never failed to show it to me. They were dedicated parents -- working from home rather than staying late so they could spend time with their adorable little ones.
They were my heroes. Love, passion, mutual respect and common goals for their kids … all this and heaven, too!
Beginning in the fall, I stopped hearing from him as often as I used to. I shot him emails regarding the Mitchell Report (baseball is one of the things we bonded over) and they went unanswered. One thing about my friend -- he LOVES educating me about stuff I don't know! No Christmas card, either. Huh? He and his wife enjoy sending photos of their little urchins.
Then, yesterday, he told me the news. On Thanksgiving she told him it just wasn't working for her anymore and she wanted him to move out this week. I can understand them not wanting to spoil Christmas for their kids -- especially their son, who is almost 4 now and probably quite into Santa. But what's the significance of this week? Elvis' birthday?
Anyway, they're SEPARATED! He told me that, while their problems aren't "juicy," she'd been unhappy throughout 2007 and he thought they could "work on it." Apparently not. He's now living with his brother.
I'm almost sick to my stomach.
I have relationship issues the size of all outdoors. I either expect too much or too little. I either give too much or too little. I'm too fiercely independent and have trouble pulling in double harness. I have been involved with lovely men over time and have sabotaged those relationships. I sadly accept responsibility for all that.
But I love love and I love happy endings. I had counted on this couple to verify my faith. And now look at them.
I wonder if, when they discussed how this would effect the kids, they limited their conversation to their two preschoolers, too, or if they included this old gal, too.
I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteThere isn't much else to say. It happens, it's heartbreaking, and I am sorry.
It's always a shock when something like this happens...
ReplyDeleteAw, I am sorry for your friend and for your sad news. It is very difficult to hear friends are breaking up. I always wonder was it worth it you know? Those are young kids too.
ReplyDeleteI hope at least you will more e-mails from your buddy and he will talk to you and who knows...maybe they will be a good set of people and remain decent and respectful towards each other. Divorce isn't so hard on the kids when the parents stay respectful and in close contact with each oth(my parents never spoke to each other after they broke up...modern couples seem to try to stay neighbours and share responsibility and stay friends)
It will all work out. Love is wonderful, but the responsibility with these children could just about be to much for anyone. It changes you and over time, you can't handle it and something gives. It is crazy, but that is the marriage more often than it used to be. Everything will be good though wait and see, it will be different, but good.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your friend, this is a tough thing.
ReplyDeletePenelope
http://wannabeawritersomeday.blogspot.com/2008/01/i-am-entering-poetry-contest-yikes-and.html