Is it a cold or is it the flu?

I've taken the Cold and Flu Symptom Quiz on WebMD, and guess what. I can't figure this thing out.

Do you have a fever? No. "Generally a high fever points to flu." Okay then. I'm just a big baby with a bad cold.

A stuffy nose? Yes. "Classic cold," it says. Though congestion "can occur" with flu.

A sore throat? I did at first, but now I don't. A sore throat is "a sure sign it's a cold coming on. Sometimes, however, a sore throat can show up with the flu." Well that was helpful, wasn't it?

Chest discomfort or cough? Yes. "A cough can appear with either colds or flu but is more common with the flu. And a severe cough usually signals the flu." Uh-oh. Sounds like I've got the flu …

Are you exhausted or weak? Yes. I considered curling up on the floor and taking a quick nap while waiting in line at Walgreen's. "Slight fatigue can occur with a cold, but extreme exhaustion is a definite sign of the flu."

Do you have a headache? Yes, on and off. "Generally, headaches are more common with the flu than with a cold." Looks like the flu, ladies and gentlemen.

Are you complaining of an aching body? Well, I wouldn't complain because the cats don't give a shit. But no, I'm not achy. "Body and muscle aches are common flu symptoms." So it's a cold, right?

Or is it? I'm too foggy to decide. Don't they know it's not nice to mess with an old broad with a stuffy head? I think I'll go to Blogthings and find out my vampire name. (It's Jezebell of Macedonia.)