My favorite John Lennon song keeps running through my head. I love my best friend. I miss him terribly. When I don't hear from him, everything kinda shuts down. I get scared, anxious, lonesome. My focus isn't as sharp. I worry and I hate it.
He is leaving Los Angeles and returning home today. His wife and kids unexpectedly joined him on the trip to LA. Apparently it didn't go well. Things are "rough" right now between him and his wife and he feels stretched too thin.
I am so sorry to hear that! A child of divorce himself, nothing means more to my best friend than providing a stable environment for his girls. But I can't ask him anymore about what's going on at home -- it's not my business. And I can't keep hurting like this. As John Lennon sang, "I just have to let it go."
I'm not going to stop caring about him. That's not possible. And I won't stop missing him. But I have to let go of all this intensity. I cannot control the outcome of anything of this, so I just have to be patient and hopeful. I just have to wait. I just have to let it go.
"I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round. I just love to watch them roll.
No longer riding on the merry-go-round. I just had to let it go."
you do have to lose some of this intesity, just because there is very little that you can do but listen and life is stressful enough without adding to it
ReplyDeleteGood luck with all of this, and maybe you have found a temporary solution in letting go of the intensity. If it's meant to be, it will happen. But we never know what the it really is, do we?
ReplyDeleteSo what's on the agenda this weekend? Any good ball games on? The Red sox are finally winning tonight.
Thanks, you two. I'm working on letting go. I just hate it when I'm presented with something I can't fix, or at least successfully meddle in. He is in pain and I want to make it better for him. Very frustrating! Plus, I just miss him so.
ReplyDeleteAnd Go Red Sox! They're my favorite AL team.