My best friend was in town last night, and, believe it or not, we were in stitches over a booklet called Hormone Replacement Therapy that I picked up at the hospital yesterday. This is because I have decided exactly how I'm going to handle the HRT controversy: I announced last night I am simply not going through menopause.This process sounds so horrible it's funny. Like a Monty Python skit. How can you take a booklet seriously when a page begins with, "Your vagina shortens and the lining becomes thin, dry and less flexible. And your labia loses fat and flexibility"?
Gulp! I am reminded of the immortal words of Butch Cassidy, "Don't sugarcoat it, Sundance. Give it to her straight."
It only starts with vaginal/labial discomfort. It goes onto urinary tract infections, incontinence, thinning bones, thinning hair (see photo), facial hair, drooping breasts, abdominal weight gain, sleep problems and mood swings.
All that is covered by page 5, and we still have 12 pages to go!
The information was so negative it was absurd. But I feel better now that I know that I'm on the record with my announcement that menopause simply isn't for me.
So when you figure out how to avoid the big change, let me know. I am getting looking forward to getting rid of my monthly friend...but the rest is kind of eeew, not so nice sounding.
ReplyDeleteBUN is blood urea nitrogen....explained it today on my blog.
You could still learn to draw blood, mmm, driving a truck or drawing blood...tough one there. Good post today, made this almost 50 gal smile.
There are nice ways to spin the big change. Like you said, no more periods. No more bothering with contraceptives. We're more confident in ourselves, etc., etc. But no! This silly booklet could have been called, "Life Sucks and then You Die." Or "Life Sucks, and then Your Labia Lose Flexibility."
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