Ladies Rock!

I swear. A lot. I was amused by the fuss about Streisand "dropping the f bomb," because I don't think I've gone a day without doing the same, and before 10:00 AM. For example, as a Cub fan, I believe that the personification of evil is F-ing Steve Bartmann. I've said it that way so many times that I think I subconsciously believe F-ing is his given name.

I love greasy spoons. I am happiest in restaurants where the menu is laminated and where the waitress leaves you a bowl of peanuts while you decide whether you want a burger or a cheeseburger with that beer. I would rather remove my own spleen with a butter knife than eat sushi or drink wine.

I have a very vulgar, perhaps even infantile, sense of humor. My gay friends still very patiently sit through my Brokeback Mountain jokes because even after a year, few things crack me up more than gay cowboys.

And yet, and yet, these are the women I grew up on. These are the women I still admire.

But please don't tell anyone. I have a trashy image to maintain.