Friday, February 20, 2026

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: With or Without You (1987) 
 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
 
1) "With or Without You" is about the pain of love. What song reminds you of an old romance? Is it about the joy of love or the pain? Lately this one has been going through my mind. I love the tension between sound of it – very upbeat – and the melancholy message. Our hearts get broken, but we get on with it. 
 
 
 
 
 
2) U2 lead singer Bono has admitted that, when the group recorded this song in the 1980s, he was wrestling with his real-life commitment issues. He was trying to resolve the responsibilities of being a husband with the demands of his career. He worked it through, and decades later both his marriage and his career are still going strong. Do you feel you have been more successful in your personal or professional relationships? Ha! My career, no question.
 
3) Bono credits his wife Ali with helping him through a tough period of writer's block, saying she put the pen in his hand each morning. What time of day finds you the most energized, productive or creative? Whenever I should be doing housework.
 
4) Bono likes to pedal around town when he's not onstage. What do you do for exercise? Yoga.
 
5) Bono is U2's lead singer, backed by three very talented bandmates: The Edge, Larry Mullen, Jr., and Adam Clayton. Bruce Springsteen is a big fan of U2's concert performances. If Saturday 9 were to bestow upon you a free ticket to any see any band or performer live, who would you choose? I just saw Sir Paul in November. It would be hard to top that.
 
6) U2 got together 50 years ago, when they were school boys in Dublin. Have you ever visited Ireland? If not, would you like to go? I've never been but were I to go to Europe, I'd plan to stop there.
 
7) In 1987, the year this song was popular, Cher won the Academy Award for Best Actress. Her most famous line was, "Snap out of it!" Without looking it up, can you name the movie that made her an Oscar winner? Moonstruck
 
8) Also in 1987, the first Starbucks opened. What's your standard Starbucks order? I don't drink coffee. I'll have hot chocolate, to be sociable with friends when we stop, or maybe just a bottle of water.
 
9) Random question – Which self-help book would you be more likely to pick up, the one designed to improve your body or your mind? Don't mean to sound contrary, but neither. I tried self-help books a while ago and found they didn't help me much. No judgement if you're into them, but I have found more success and contentment with therapy, prayer and introspection.
 

 

Where's my person?

Think back to 2005. There was a moment on the show Grey's Anatomy where Christina refers to Meredith Grey as "her person" and adds, "If I murdered someone, she is the one I'd call to help drag the corpse across the living room floor." 

They were besties.

Back in 2005, I was swimming in besties. I had my best friend, who was my work husband, with whom I never ran out of things to discuss. I had my oldest friend, my Kindergarten classmate, who shared so much of my history and could always, always make me laugh. There was John, my opposite number in so many ways, who broadened my horizons and made every Friday night an adventure. There was Henry, who only saw the good in me and loved me so.

My best friend moved. My oldest friend is battling emotional/physical issues that make her unavailable. John and Henry both died in 2024. Each of these losses has left a hole in my heart.

I have gone from lots of besties to no besties.

I am lucky in that I am only alone when I want to be. I just got a text from Nancy saying she and her husband miss me and they want to meet for lunch. Joanna sent me a chatty email because at movie group we didn't have enough one-on-one time together to share everything she had to say to me. Elaine saw that Norman Rockwell's Chicago Cubs in the Dugout is now here at The Art Institute and wants to see it with me. Mindy invited me along to see Bruce Springsteen at the United Center in April.*

But none of them are my besties. I can't imagine calling any of them to help me drag that pesky corpse across the living room floor.

So in 2026 my life is not the life I had in 2005. It's not the life I miss. But it's the life I have. I have people who care about me, I'm reasonably healthy, financially comfortable, and my adorable cats are right here looking for cuddles. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself, find joy where I can and face forward. 

 

*Can't go because of the TCM Film Festival. Yes, my life is pretty neat. I know that.