Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Too Shy (1983)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song laments vulnerability and self-consciousness in a social settings. Are you often "too shy?" Or are social gatherings easy for you? Professionally, I'm fine. When I worked in advertising, I was good in front of a roomful of clients. At the card shop I'm fine talking to customers. I'm less comfortable socially.

 

2) In the lyrics, a girl self-censors, telling herself, "hush hush." Have you more recently shushed someone, or were you shushed? I was shushed.

 

3) Band member Nick Beggs recalls that they called themselves Kajagoogoo because it sounded like something that would make a baby laugh. It is fun to say. Can you think of another word that you just enjoy saying? "Gubernatorial." 

 

4) This was the only US hit for the British band, earning Kajagoogoo the title "One Hit Wonder." Can you think of another artist or band who had one really popular song and then just kind of disappeared? Who can forget funky Billy Chin and little Sammy John?
 

 
5) Though fame was fleeting here, Kajagoogoo remained popular in England. Lead singer Limahl recalls the adulation as "overwhelming," and he was shocked when he stepped on stage in Cornwall to see row after row of fans wearing their hair like he did. Have you ever handed a photo to a stylist and said, "Make my hair look like this?" Kinda sorta. I said I wanted my hair to look like Olivia Benson's on SVU and he knew what I meant. That was more than a decade ago. Liv has changed her hair many times but this is still my cut. I've changed up the color since then, but I'm staying with this style.

 

6) In 1983, when this song was popular, the Lotus 1-2-3 program made it easier for PC users to make spreadsheets. Are you answering these questions on a Mac or PC? Laptop, phone or tablet? MacBook Air.

7) 1983 saw Abbey Road Studios open their doors for the first time for public tours. During the first two months, 22,000 tickets were sold to fans who wanted to see where the Beatles made their magic. What's the last ticket you purchased? Probably my airline tickets for my flights to/from Los Angeles last month.

 
8) Also in 1983, McDonald's introduced Chicken McNuggets. When was chicken most recently on the menu at your home? How was it prepared? Last week I took a tray of prepared pulled barbecue chicken out of my refrigerator and popped it in the microwave.

 

9) Random question: Have you ever forgotten where you left your car in a parking lot? I don't drive, so I've never been the one who has done the forgetting. But I have wandered around parking lot with friends who have misplaced their cars. Seems to happen a lot.

 

 

Not a good week for The Class of 75

My oldest friend is in the hospital (see post below), and our classmate Judy died. Judy reached out to me via Facebook Messenger about six months ago, but I pretended I didn't see it. She hurt me so badly, there was always so much drama in her wake, I didn't see the point. I don't regret the decision, but I do honor and mourn the nerdy teenage girls we were, and I'm sorry her last decade was so painful.

I keep getting messages asking if I'm going to attend our 50th high school reunion. I don't answer them. I showed up at high school as little as possible when The State of Illinois mandated my attendance. I'm certainly not going back by choice now. 

But it is on my mind. Here I am, reasonably healthy. Oh, I'm fat and my knees bother me. If I don't get back on the water-drinking bandwagon, I'll develop kidney stones again. But, for the most part, I'm OK. Certainly I have not suffered as Judy and my oldest friend have.

I'm not a wealthy woman, but I'm OK. My cat Connie needs expensive dental work – more expensive than I had anticipated – but I can pay for it. I'll be able to afford trips up to Michigan to meet my niece's baby this fall and then spend Christmas with them. (And I've been picking up presents for them.) I plan on attending the TCM Classic Film Festival in Hollywood next year. When I want to go out to lunch or dinner with my friends, I have cash to cover it. My oldest friend is broke and couldn't afford to go anywhere, even if she was physically able.

My 2BR condo is a hovel. Really, I can't get over the disrepair I've allowed it to fall into. On the other hand, I'm paying down a 3.35% APR mortgage and my monthly housing cost (mortgage and assessment) is only $1100/month. I couldn't rent a 2BR in this neighborhood for $1100/month. That would get me a studio. Judy and her husband lived in a 1st floor studio. (Though she was in assisted living when she died.) My oldest friend rents a room in a ranch house – she shares her bathroom and kitchen with three other people. 

My friend John died a year ago last month. My friend Henry died a year ago next month. They both suffered a great deal physically and financially at the end of their lives, too. They weren't part of The Class of 75 – John graduated in 1972 and Henry in 1980 – but close enough.

Right now I am sad. I am confused. I am grateful. To borrow from Anthony Rizzo in Game 7 (who borrowed it from Will Ferrell in Anchorman): I'm in a glass cage of emotions.

Another trip to the hospital

My oldest friend is back in the hospital. Fourth time in three months. One was a trip to the ER and then home, another was an emergency visit to a walk-in crisis center, then there was a four-day stay to get her anxiety/depression meds evened out, and now she's in the hospital because her blood pressure/heart rate were very low and her A1C was sky high. 

Part of the problem is that she's on Medicare/Medicaid and is at the mercy of the healthcare system. Part of it is that she doesn't do the recommended aftercare. It overwhelms her. She becomes too exhausted to make and organize the appointments required to manage her bipolar disorder/diabetes/urinary tract infection/heart disease. 

I had hopes that with this hospitalization, we had turned a corner. She was more communicative, starting a text chain to let us know how she's doing. The photos she attached were disturbing – she looked so old, so grizzled, with an oxygen tube. But she seemed comfortable and upbeat. As though she's finally getting answers to what has made 2025 such a challenging year for her medically. I was happy to learn that she consulted with the hospital chaplain. I believe the most important and intimate relationship any of us will ever have is with God, and I remain convinced if my friend leaned into her spirituality more than her search for knight to rescue her, she'd be happier and more content. 

Today, though, the text chain was full of red flags. She's about to be discharged, which makes her happy. But she doesn't like Dr. Gwen, the hospitalist assigned to her case. She insists Dr. Gwen interned under Joseph Mengele. I'm afraid I know where this is going to lead: she's not going to pursue the prescribed aftercare because she doesn't like Dr. Gwen. She's going to say that Dr. Gwen makes her feel bad about herself and her situation and she just doesn't need this. That's why she stopped seeing her urologist – his staff was rude and frustrating. As I pointed out to her, that decision didn't bother her urologist one whit but it did contribute to her UTI spiraling out of control. She didn't respond to this observation.

I can't help my oldest friend. She's on the path she is on. I will however, answer every text she sends, pray and worry about her, share whatever wisdom I have with her.

But I can be there for her daughter. I have known Jenna since before she was born. I know how hard it is to be the daughter of a mom who is failing. These hospitalizations have contributed to a flare up in Jen's colitis, and she's going to be in a different hospital herself on Monday, getting a colonoscopy. 

So I send her regular texts, letting her know I am thinking about her and I attach silly, cuddly animal pictures. I mailed her an "atta girl" postcard. I took her to dinner when I was in LA for the TCM Film Festival. I can't save my friend, but maybe I can be a support system for her daughter.

 

Thursday Thirteen #413

 

 

The SQUEE! edition. Bobby Sherman – of Shindig! and Here Come the Brides – is very ill. I was sorry to hear this because there was a time when his visage graced my bedroom door, my school folders and the inside of my locker. His white teeth, shiny hair and blue eyes were just so dreamy. The fact that he could neither sing nor act didn't diminish my adoration.

He was a teen idol much loved by my classmates and me. Girls between 10 and 14 are highly susceptible to such crushes. The objects of our affection were always like Bobby – cute, cuddly and completely non-threatening. 

Looking at covers of 16 Magazine and traveling the corridors of my heart, here are 13 of the popular teen idols of the late 60s and early 70s.

NOTE: I didn't include Michael Jackson, although pinups of J5-era Michael made their way to our lockers, too. It's just that Michael Jackson, Paul McCartney and Elvis Presley had talent, longevity and cultural impact that transcend the moniker of "teen idol." 

1. David Cassidy. Keith Partridge of The Partridge Family fame. He actually sang quite well. My kid sister would similarly sigh and squeal over his half-brother Shaun.

2. Donny Osmond. The pick of the Osmond litter. This was before the Donny & Marie TV show. We loved him when he was singing "One Bad Apple."

3. Barry Williams. Greg Brady of The Brady Bunch.

4. Jack Wild. The only Oscar nominee on the list. He was honored for his portrayal of The Artful Dodger in Oliver! But mostly we loved him on HR Puffnstuff.

5. Michael Cole. Pete Cochran on The Mod Squad.

6. Randolph Mantooth. Yes, that was really his name. (We called him "Randy.") He was one of the paramedics on Emergency!

7. The Cowsills. They were the real-life singing family who inspired The Partridge Family. The two younger brothers became heartthrobs. They weren't twins, but I couldn't tell them apart. Their songs still make me happy, though. Here's a link to their biggest hit: "The Rain, The Park and Other Things."

8. Ben Murphy. He was one of the stars – the blond one on the left – of the TV Western Alias Smith and Jones. It was a shameless rip-off of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, but we didn't know that because we were too young to see that movie.

9. Christopher Connelly. He played the younger brother on Peyton Place. He was the perennial underdog, and I loved his raspy voice. 

10. Jonathan Frid. Barnabas on Dark Shadows. Yes, he was a vampire, but he was deeply misunderstood. 

11. Mark Lindsay. Originally the lead singer of Paul Revere & the Raiders, he went on to be a hitmaker on his own. When I listen to him now, I realize he had a very good voice. But in real time, I loved his tights and ponytail (which he referred to as a "queue.")

12. Mitch Vogel. He was on Bonanza. I personally didn't care for him because of the freckles, but I had classmates who were into that kind of thing.

13. Richard Hatch. Phil Brent, the hunk of Pine Valley High, on All My Children. He was the first fella to break Erica Kane's heart.

Gotta go. My pulse is racing out of control!

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Pete Rose: An American Dilemma by Kostya Kennedy. Let me say it up front: I cannot stand Pete Rose and do not believe he belongs in The Hall of Fame. Part of my disgust comes from a sense of betrayal. I remember watching Pete Rose play and, even though I have always been a true blue Cub fan, I loved it when he came up to bat. He respected those 90 feet to first and always, always ran it out. That he turned out to be such a rampaging asshole is beyond disillusioning.

 

But it's time for me to get educated and evolve. All this talk about him being eligible for the Hall has made me face my own prejudice. While I have compassion for those addicted to drugs and alcohol, I'm dismissive of compulsive gamblers. Gotta work on that. Since baseball is a metaphor for life, I'm going to let baseball teach me.

 

Kostya Kennedy is a good writer and a good reporter. He shares Rose's story in an "it is what it is" manner. No moralizing, just straight-up story telling. So far I'm appreciating it.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Who Let the Dog Out? by David Rosenfelt. A very good mystery until it's not. A dog is kidnapped from the shelter run by Andy Carpenter and his partner, Willie Miller. Why would anyone steal a dog they could adopt? This enrages Willie and gets Andy's antenna up. They track the dog through a chip in her collar and find her quickly, along with a dead body.

This book has everything I like about the series. Andy Carpenter may not like being a defense attorney but he's an entertaining one and I enjoy reading about him before a jury. Especially because while he wants his client to be innocent, he's not 100% sure. Of course, for our system of justice to work, even the guilty deserve a zealous defense. Andy would just prefer his clients be innocent. An unrepentant smart ass, he cracks wise beautifully and often at inappropriate moments throughout the story. He loves baseball and is imparting this passion to his son.    

It's the ending of the book that I didn't like. Too violent, too complicated, and simply not credible. That's all I'll say as not to spoil it. Not that he has asked for my help, but I recommend Rosenfelt get acquainted with the old Columbo TV series. Those mysteries are brilliant little plays, and each episode feels fresh. Yet at their core, the murders are always about basic human motivations: greed and lust. Rosenfelt adds too many exotic, unfamiliar and unnecessary elements and my bullshit meter goes off.

3. What will you read next? A thriller: One Perfect Couple by Ruth Ware.

 

 

 

How low can we go?

President Donald J. Trump addressed West Point graduates while wearing a MAGA hat. I suppose that's fitting, because he went on to slag Joe Biden and Barack Obama, even though our military is supposed to be apolitical. Continuing in this self-indulgent vein, he warned them against marrying "trophy wives," whined for the umpteenth time that he's been investigated more than the "great, late Alphonse Capone," and rhapsodized about golfer Gary Player. I don't know what he was trying to impart to these young people, except that he loves having eyes on him and thrives on being center of attention.

Disgusted yet? No? Then enjoy his Memorial Day message to the country, as posted on Truth Social. 

“HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY TO ALL, INCLUDING THE SCUM THAT SPENT THE LAST FOUR YEARS TRYING TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY THROUGH WARPED RADICAL LEFT MINDS, WHO ALLOWED 21,000,000 MILLION PEOPLE TO ILLEGALLY ENTER OUR COUNTRY, MANY OF THEM BEING CRIMINALS AND THE MENTALLY INSANE,THROUGH AN OPEN BORDER THAT ONLY AN INCOMPETENT PRESIDENT WOULD APPROVE, AND THROUGH JUDGES WHO ARE ON A MISSION TO KEEP MURDERERS, DRUG DEALERS, RAPISTS, GANG MEMBERS, AND RELEASED PRISONERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN OUR COUNTRY SO THEY CAN ROB, MURDER, AND RAPE AGAIN — ALL PROTECTED BY THESE USA HATING JUDGES WHO SUFFER FROM AN IDEOLOGY THAT IS SICK, AND VERY DANGEROUS FOR OUR COUNTRY.“ 

Of course there's no mention of our nation's war dead, because, well, why would the Commander in Chief honor them on Memorial Day? It's so much more satisfying for him to focus on his grievances. (BTW, Eric? Don? If you can't take his phone away from him on holidays, at least tell Pop Pop to release the all caps.) 

Wait! There's more! Our President went on to repost a message that referred to Joe Biden as a "decrepit corpse." Think I'm kidding? Here it is: "They stole the 2020 election and hijacked the country using a decrepit corpse as a frontman, They used an autopen to start wars, steal from our treasury, and pardon their friends." Yes, Donald Trump just endorsed referring to a man diagnosed with metastatic cancer as a "decrepit corpse." Oh yeah, and as far as pardoning friends goes, our President just pardoned Todd and Julie Chrisley, reality TV stars convicted of tax evasion. 

All this makes Memorial Day weekend especially memorable, doesn't it?

I know there are loud-and-proud Christians who are happy this man represents the USA. My aunt/godmother is one of them. Her sanctimony and blind loyalty have literally torn our family apart. So far, I have stubbornly managed to maintain relations with her. But I don't know how much longer I can continue rising above the fray when no bottom has been established. I fear Donald Trump's base instincts will just drag us lower ... and lower ... and lower.

 

PS I limited myself to Memorial Day. I still can't get over January 6. Neither the original riot nor the pardons that followed. Or the way Trump has treated our allies. Or the wheeling and dealing his family does in plain sight. Or the recklessness and ugliness of DOGE and Elon's chainsaw. Or his slow and steady destruction of Madisonian Democracy. I'm afraid we're going to keep descending lower, and lower, and lower ... until it dawns on MAGA Nation that between the tariffs and the Big, Beautiful Bill, everything is going to cost them more. Sigh. Part of me just wants to say, "What the fuck!" and watch baseball.

I say Mariah t-shirts for everybody!

Behold Pete Crow-Armstrong, Cubs' centerfielder. This past week he's hit .299 with a .677 SLG. At 23, he's the youngest Cub since Anthony Rizzo 💙 to have 2 HR and 6 RBI in a single game. He loves Mariah Carey and doesn't care who knows it.

 

He's a delight to watch. Bold with his bat, a veritable cheetah on the base pads and willing to go for literally anything hit in his area code. 

PCA doesn't have Rizz' commitment to giving back, but perhaps it's unfair to expect anyone to equal Anthony Rizzo there. Since 2012, he's been responsible for at least $12 million to help families battling pediatric cancer. That doesn't count events for other causes. For example, I recall that here in Chicago, he catered lunches for health care workers administering the vaccine during covid. In New York, he has comped the entry fee for health care workers to run the NYC Marathon so they can raise funds for their hospitals. Helping others is a legit passion for Rizz.

But he does have Rizzo's joie de vivre. Watching Pete, I just know there is nothing he would rather be doing than playing baseball ... and simply being alive here in Chicago. It's going to be an exciting summer.

 

 

Sunday Stealing

8 Questions

1. What habit do you wish you could break? Is laziness a habit?

2. Where is your favorite vacation spot? It changes. Right now, it's the TCL Chinese Theater in Hollywood. 98 years old, it's where the classic Hollywood stars left their hand/footprints when their films premiered. The Oscars have been held here. It's kept up with the times. You're looking at the world's largest IMAX screen. This is homebase for the TCM Classic Film Festival. Seeing great old films here, as they were meant to be seen, while surrounded by other passionate movie nerds, make that week in April one I look forward to. (PS My preferred seat is in Row F, on the aisle. It gives me a clear route to the ladies room and the bar. 😉)

 

3. How many years of formal education have you completed? 9. After a couple fits and starts, I gave up on college.

4. Have you ever had a job that required you be certified or licensed? Nope.

5. Do you enjoy camping? Nope. I enjoy being outdoors. I also enjoy sleeping on a box spring and mattress, far above ground, and showering with lots of hot water.

6. Tell us about a time you got away with something. I love office supplies. I was just tickled the other day when, as I was endorsing a check at the bank, I saw that someone had left a big binder clip behind. I put it in my purse and it now has a good home.

7. Where have you lived the longest, and what do/did you like best about it? I've lived in this neighborhood for (gulp!) 47 years. I love it because it's highly walkable and diverse. I know diversity is no longer in vogue, but I believe we're enriched by embracing all different types of people.

8. When you were a kid, were more of your playmates boys or girls? I lived on a girl dominated block. I sometimes played with Tommy, but he was across the busy street so our moms had to be involved in bringing us together. We tried to watch Lassie together on Sunday evenings, before we had to return to our own homes for dinner and bath time before school on Monday. (Funny, the stuff you remember.)

 

Saturday 9

 American Soldier (2003)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

Memorial Day is a federal holiday that honors men and women who served and died in the United States Armed Forces. We want to make sure that message is not lost this weekend.

1) Are you a veteran? Are there veterans in your family? Do you know anyone who is active military? We are grateful and want to hear about it. My dad was a Marine who served in Korea. My uncle was in the Army and saw action in Vietnam. My oldest nephew was in the Navy for eight years but (thankfully for my mother – his grandma, who worried about him constantly) he never saw combat.

2) In this song, Toby Keith reminds us soldiers "work straight through holidays," even this one, and we are grateful for that, too. Have you ever had to work on a federal holiday? If yes, did it make you sad to be on the job when everyone else was celebrating? Now that I work in retail, holiday shifts are a possibility. I worked New Year's Day in 2024, which was fine because our store was virtually empty and I got time-and-a-half for my minimal efforts. This year I was behind the counter for Dr. King's birthday. It was the first time I worked on that day since it became a holiday in 1986. We were very busy – lots of school kids – and I admit it felt weird.

3) The video for this song was filmed at Edwards Air Force Base. This site was chosen to make it easier for off-duty soldiers, reservists and their families to appear. Have you ever visited a military base? Nope.

4) Toby Keith never served in the military but often performed for the USO. While the USO is best known for providing entertainment to our troops, they also have a "Canine Comfort Crew." Local USO centers make dogs available to troops who long to see a wagging tail. Are you a dog lover? Oh, yes. One of my favorites was my friend Henry's dog, NouNou. A mixed breed, little mop of a black dog, who, like Henry himself, was nothing but love. NouNou came to Henry's home quite by accident. His owner worked with Henry at Florida Keys Community College. He worked in the office and Henry was a teacher. Anyway, when he was hospitalized with AIDS, he asked Henry to watch NouNou. Henry was a massive animal lover and a good friend, so he said yes without hesitation. When NouNou's dad died in the hospital, Henry called his parents and let them know he had their son's beloved dog. They curtly told him that they didn't approve of "the Key West lifestyle" and wouldn't be coming down for the dog. Can you imagine parents not wanting their dead son's dog, a dog their son had loved? Henry and his husband Reg already had two cats and two collies and weren't looking for a permanent addition to their menagerie, but NouNou was so sweet and far too old to be successfully adopted through a shelter. So it's with Henry that NouNou stayed. When I visited, he was my special friend. I never saw his eyes and I don't know how he saw through all that black fur. I saw his little white teeth a lot, though. He seemed to smile sometimes, especially after he had a good run on those short legs. The other dogs in the household were much bigger, but NouNou valiantly tried to keep up and loved those backyard races. He also got very excited when he saw the little ones walk by, to and from school. He only had a couple years with Henry and Reg, but NouNou ended his life surrounded by love, which he completely deserved. Who's a good boy?

 
5) Memorial Day kicks off the summer season. What's your favorite picnic food? Potato salad.

6) Let's welcome summer with ice cream. What's your favorite flavor? Cone or cup? Mint chocolate chip in a cup.

 

7) This marks the weekend when Americans step up their outdoor activity and do things they may not have been able to do during the winter months. For example, when is the last time you applied mosquito repellent? I don't recall.

8) Or swam? I don't recall. (This makes me sad.)

9) As you answer these questions, is there an air conditioner or fan on?  I've got a fan in the window.

 

 

Lizzie Lewis is my hero

I was proud to contribute money and time to Elizabeth Lewis' campaign for Board of Education member. She didn't win, and that hurts. 

Maybe she wasn't the best candidate. Her campaign was so focused on hearing and empowering students that perhaps she was ignoring fiscal and administrative issues. But here's what touched my heart:

1) She announced her candidacy when was only 17, though she turned 18 in time to serve on the Board. I love it when young people are involved and giving back. She took it so seriously! Her website has more depth and detail about the Mohonasen Board of Education than I've seen from candidates in mayoral, aldermanic and state house campaigns. She made herself available to the press, and while sometimes she sounded naive she was, as Teddy Roosevelt said, "in the arena." Most touching of all, she spent all day Tuesday at the polls – just outside the perimeter where campaigning is banned. She was there for hours and hours to answer the questions of parents and voters. All this for a seat on the Board of Education! 💔

2) She stood up to a bully. I know in today's MAGA/Might Makes Right World being heavy-handed and insensitive to DEI issues is in vogue, but I'm still a proponent of the old Golden Rule. When she was still a student at Mohonasen High, Lizzie had the temerity to lobby for a GSA organization at her school. A Board member publicly singled her out, chewed her out, and disparaged her advocacy of LGBTQ+ students. He was admonished by the state's education department for the way he treated her, but he has never apologized – even though his callous remarks cost the district more than $14,000 in legal fees to defend him. 

Think about it: a grown man in a position of power holding a student up for ridicule. A student who, by the way, often needs crutches because she struggles with EDS (Ehlers-Danlos syndrome). Not a pretty picture, is it? When I was 15, that would have been enough to make me slink away. He would have completely dispirited me.

But Lizzie is made of stronger stuff. When she was old enough she ran against him. (Though she always said that wasn't the only reason why she ran. Read about it here.)

I hate bullies. I love Lizzie. Young people like her will help make our world a better, safer place.

Her yard sign

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #411

Thirteen predictors. There are many factors that go into whether we will fall victim to a treatable chronic disease like heart disease, cancer, diabetes, obesity and hypertension. According to the CDC,* here are thirteen of the top non-genetic characteristics that impact a citizen's risk.

1. Income

2. Employment status

3. Education

4. Insurance

5. Access to hospital services

6. Access to primary care services

7. Access to pharmacies

8. Access to a vehicle

9. Access to public transportation

10. Internet access

11. Home value

12. Age

13. Race/ethnicity

It would seem that in America, how healthy you are depends in large part on how much money you have and where you live. Have a nice day.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

*As of Feb., 2024. I don't know what the current CDC has to say about these things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Who Let the Dog Out? by David Rosenfelt. Andy Carpenter is a lawyer by trade, but his passion is for rescuing dogs. So when a dog is kidnapped from his shelter, he jumps into action. Thanks to a chip in the collar, he finds the poor dog quickly, along with a dead body.

 

Andy Carpenter is my fictional boyfriend. He's smarter than he lets on, and a better man than he professes to be. He's a smart ass who can't resist a wise crack, even in court. He's a sports fan, and a millionaire many times over. I want him to marry me and take me away from all this.

 

So I really want to like this book. I've been on a roll, having just finished two five-star biographies. I hope this book keeps alive my happy streak of enjoying what I've read.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? Competing with Idiots by Nick Davis. I loved this dual biography of Herman and Joseph Mankiewicz,  written by Herman's grandson.

There's a lot about great movies. Really legendary classic films made by the brothers, including Citizen Kane, Pride of the Yankees, All About Eve, Duck Soup ... There's a lot of celebrity dish: Joe slept with Judy Garland, Linda Darnell, Elizabeth Taylor (maybe) and Herman hung around with Dorothy Parker, the Marx Brothers and George S. Kaufman. 

There's a lot of family, too. These two over-achieving sons had a complex relationship with their public school teacher dad and spent their lives trying to measure up to what he expected of them. After 5 Oscars, you would think they would feel good about themselves but they didn't (couldn't). There's abuse masquerading as discipline, addictions (alcohol, gambling), bipolar disorder and suicide. There are competitions and estrangements and admiration and love. In short, the Mankiewicz's are just like any other family, except that their dramas played out on a grand stage instead of behind closed suburban doors.

Nick Davis tells his family's story with clear eyes and sensitive insights. Herman's grandson, he inserted himself into the story when needed but didn't do it too much. The stories about his mother's relationships with both her dad and Uncle Joe gave the book credibility and resonance.

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

 

Heartwarming, isn't it?

 

Sunday Stealing

Back to Bed

1. Let's say your alarm wakes you up with music. What would be the worst song to hear first thing in the morning? "I Got You, Babe." I like the song well enough, but I'd be afraid I'd found myself in Bill Murray's Groundhog Day.

2. How many pillows do you sleep with? Three. Two on my side of the bed, one that goes untouched on the other side but I keep it there to keep things symmetrical.

3. What size mattress do you sleep on? Full.

4. Do you always sleep on the same side of the bed? Yes. Closest to the door.

5. Do you make your bed every day? The only time I make my bed is when I change the sheets.

6. Do you keep water on your bedside table? Yes. I'm supposed to drink more water and I find that I mindlessly gulp it overnight so that water bottle brings me closer to my 8 glasses.

7. How often do you change your sheets? Weekly.

8. What's under your bed? Stuff. I don't even know for sure.

9. Do you sleep in total darkness or do you like to have a light on? Light.

10. What do you remember about your childhood bedroom? It was yellow. I still have my old yellow/white dressers in my walk-in closet.

 

"The one who always remembers"

That's me, according to my aunt/godmother. Her birthday was Friday and Mother's Day was last Sunday. Apparently it was not a festive week beyond her husband and friends. Her two sons, five grandchildren, and other goddaughter (my kid sister) all seemed to have ignored it, though one daughter-in-law did leave a "HBD" post on her Facebook page.

I sent her a pair of books. She has mentioned that she misses Kinsey Milhone, the Sue Grafton heroine who disappeared from our lives when author Grafton died, and Kay Scarpetta of Patricia Cornwell's series. My aunt feels – and I agree – that the Scarpetta books have become ridiculously complex and violent. (I gave up on Kay before she did.) So I sent my aunt Book #1 in a pair of mystery series I thought she might like: Rachel Knight (for Mother's Day) and Agatha Raisin (for her birthday). Instead of having Amazon send them, I wrapped them myself and included notes as to why I thought she'd like them.

Less than $50 and not really much of my time. The woman is knocking on 80 and is one of two people left on earth who held me as a baby. It made me happy to acknowledge her.

What made me sad is that so few other people did. Of course, she has only herself to blame. Her MAGA lectures are offensive, but she doesn't stop. Can't resist. She shoehorns it into every conversation and it snaps at you when you least expect it. Her children, grandchildren and now my sister can't stand it anymore.

I can. I have mitigated her presence on social media by changing my Facebook settings and have chosen to view her MAGA outbursts like an addiction she can't control. I have decided, too, that Donald Trump has coarsened us and cost us so much in terms of humanity, dignity and spirit.* I refuse to let him take my aunt away, too.

I've come to this conclusion in therapy. I've said these things out loud, worked them through, in sessions with my therapist. I'm a verbal old girl, articulating helps me resolve. My shrink calls my approach "taking one for the team." Making it clear that, out of love and choice – not obligation – I'm accepting a certain amount of unacceptable behavior from her. Oh, I find her views not only reprehensible but dangerous to our democracy. I'm a proud member of the resistance and do what I can, where I can, to peacefully beat MAGA back. But it also makes me happy to bring my aunt joy, especially when she seems to be lacking it. It brings me peace to give her grace. I like myself for how I treat her.

I am sorry for everyone else in this sad saga. For my aunt, for having alienated people she loves. Her children and grandchildren and now my sister, because they haven't felt as peaceful this week as I have.

Therapy is worth the dime and the time, folks. It really is. 

 *I do find it ruefully amusing that, when the tide turns against Trump, it will be because stuff costs more. Not because of January 6 or how he denied people due process and trampled on free speech and the separation of powers. Ah, the Land of the Free! The issues in my little family are just a microcosm of what's eating away at this whole country.