Counting backwards from 170

I am out $170. Money for which I am getting nothing in return. I am trying not to make this situation about the money, but I would be lying if I told you the money isn't upsetting.

Back around the new year, my oldest friend began saying she wanted to come to Chicago in August for The Fest for Beatle Fans. She could not afford to come last year, and we haven't seen one another since the Fest in 2022. The Fest is expensive and kinda dopey, but it can also be great fun and it's fitting my friend and I because we are Beatle bonded. We were first graders when we watched the Lads from Liverpool on The Ed Sullivan Show and fell in love (me with Paul, her with George).

So I was in. When she was still talking about the trip in March, I figured it wasn't just a daydream. I put in for time off work and asked my friend if it was OK with her that I reserve the hotel room. The hotel room is key. My oldest friend has mobility/health/anxiety issues. If we're in the hotel where the fest is held, all she has to do is roll out of bed and get on the elevator. No decisions need to be made in advance. No concerns about stairs or steps or ADA-complaint vehicles. If reservations were made at least 90 days in advance, we'd get a special nightly rate -- $170 vs. the regular $204. 

She told me to go ahead. I sent her a copy of the confirmation.

Then she stopped talking about the trip. I knew I was in trouble when I asked her if she had her flights. LAX-ORD is one of the nation's most heavily traveled routes. United, American, and Spirit all take off and land multiple times each day. Why my friend has trouble getting a flight is confusing to me, but whatever. Somehow everything in her life is more complicated than it is in mine. "What are the dates again?" she asked. Uh-oh, so she hasn't even been looking and she didn't retain a copy of the confirmation. Got it.

More weeks go by. No mention of the trip.

Finally, last week, I sent her an email asking her if she was still coming in. No answer. I sent it again, this time with a more wheedling tone. Yesterday she confirmed via text what I already knew: she's not coming.

Oh, she has reasons! Her health is precarious. Her landlord is threatening to evict her. All that is true. The thing of it is, though, her health was precarious and her landlord wanted her out back in March, too.

I was able to cancel the reservation, but to get the lower rate I had to agree to a one-night deposit/penalty. And so now I am out $170.

Her life is a battle. She is overweight and has a bum leg. She is diabetic and has trouble regulating her blood sugar. Her kidneys are failing. Her anxiety is often off the charts. 

She has no money. The cousin she moved to LA to be with has made it clear: my friend can't depend on her family. Her romance with Robert is no romance at all -- she has to deal with the man she's fallen in love with dating other women -- but she hangs on because he is, quite literally, her only friend within 2000 miles.

Looked at through that prism, my heart breaks for her. It must take courage for her to face each day. 

Which is why I'm counting backwards from 170 and biting my tongue. 

While I could be (and often am) angry at her for how she got into this mess, the fact is she's here. She is, fundamentally, a bright and funny woman who has fucked things up monumentally and, at 67, doesn't have much runway ahead of her to correct her course. Her life is hard enough without my judgement.

I love her. She deserves my compassion.

$170 is more than a week's pay at the card shop, so I'm disgruntled and infuriated. But more than that, I am just so sad about this whole damn situation. 

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Star Spangled Banner (1991)
... because Thursday was the 4th of July and we're still celebrating!

Unfamiliar with this Whitney's rendition? Hear it here.

1) Whitney Houston originally performed this in front of over 73,000 at the 1991 Super Bowl. What's the biggest crowd you have ever been in? I scoff at 73,000! I've been in two of Grant Park's biggest crowds: Lollapalooza to see Sir Paul in 2015 (100,000) and most exciting of all, Barack Obama's 2008 victory speech in 2008 (240,000). It's funny, but I feel safer in a six-figure crowd of like-minded people than I do on an empty nighttime street.

2) Whitney's version of The National Anthem was released 10 years later, after 9/11, and the proceeds went to support New York's first responders. It was her last Top Ten single. What's your favorite Whitney Houston song?

 

 

3) Whitney's friends recall she loved lavender -- both the color and the scent. What's your favorite color? What's your favorite scent? I love blue and wear it all the time. My favorite scent is cinnamon.

4) Whitney had a sweet tooth and loved Fruity Pebbles. If you reached for a snack right now, would it be sweet or salty? Sweet. I have cupcakes in the kitchen. If you're very quiet, you can hear them calling my name.

5) Whitney's grave marker bears the words, "I Will Always Love You," so clearly her family is proud of her best-selling recording. How would you like to be remembered? To borrow from the phrase I heard all the time as a little kid, "A Girl Scout leaves a place better the she found it." That's still me. I hope I'll be remembered as someone who did good.

6) Going back to 1991, when this recording was first popular, consumers who had a cell phones likely had flip phones. Technology has come a long way, hasn't it? What did you most recently use your cell phone for? (Calling, texting, looking something up, taking a photo, posting on your blog or social media ...) Texting with Gregory about our friend John's upcoming celebration of life. His birthday was July 3. I feel like it's John's and my last birthday together. Still hurting over this.

7) In 1777, Colonists celebrated July 4 with the firing of cannons and muskets, followed by a public reading of the Declaration of Independence. What did your neighborhood to to celebrate the 4th of July? We had a parade.

8) The Revolutionary War still raged during that summer of 1777. General George Washington allowed his soldiers to celebrate with a double ration of run on July 4. Do you know anyone who is serving in the military this 4th of July? Nope.

9) Celebrity chef Rachael Ray says she considers mini-hamburgers, or "sliders," the All-American food. What will/did you dine on to celebrate the 4th of July? I had a hot dog.

Thursday Thirteen #366

13 facts about Independence Day. My July 4 will be low key, first working at the card shop and then watching Yankee Doodle Dandy on TCM. I'll be celebrating the holiday with my movie group on Saturday. It's fun to enjoy the camaraderie of friends and good food. 

And, speaking of fun, I enjoyed reading these.

About the 4th of July ...

1. There were 2.5 million Americans on July 4, 1776. There will be more than 340 million on July 4, 2024.

2. In the 18th century, it was considered unpatriotic to shop or conduct business on July 4. Today, our biggest retailers (Walmart, Target) and fast food chains (McDonald's, Taco Bell) will be open.

3. Emergency rooms are busy on July 4, due in large part to accidents with fireworks.

4. We like "liberty." 35 towns are named Liberty and 7 named Libertyville.

5. July 4th is the biggest day of the year for hot dog consumption. I've got weiners and buns ready to go!

6. Lots of musicians were born on July 4, from Stephen Foster to Post Malone. Former First Daughter Malia Obama was born on July 4, too.

7. Three of our founding fathers died on July 4 (John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe).

8. Zachary Taylor died on July 9 of a stomach ailment, likely the result of spoiled fruit eaten at a July 4 celebration.

9. As President of the Continental Congress, John Hancock was the first to sign the Declaration of Independence. (What a pretty signature it is, too!)

10. Edward Rutledge of the SC delegation was the youngest person to sign the Declaration of Independence.

11. We have had 27 iterations of our flag. The one we have now -- 13 stripes for the original colonies and 50 stars representing the states -- was adopted in 1960.

12. This is a time of celebration for North America. The Canadians celebrate the anniversary of their Constitution Act on July 1.

13. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts was the first to declare July 4 a holiday. Today it's observed in all 50 states, American Samoa, Guam, Palau, Micronesia, the US Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. (Perhaps more. Please don't regard this as an exhaustive list of our territories.)

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Looking for Jane by Heather Marshall. This novel is about three women living in three different time decades: in the 1970s, a girl is sent to a home for "fallen" women where she awaits the birth of her baby; in the 1980s, a young woman finds herself pregnant with nowhere to turn; in 2017, a woman accidentally comes into possession of a letter with explosive information about a long-ago family scandal, and wrestles with what to do with it.

 

This book takes us back to those tragic days before abortion was safe and legal, and though it's sent in Toronto, it's a harrowing harbinger of what we may be returning to.*

It's important that at the center of each story, the woman are three-dimensional people. When I hear fucking nonsense about babies being born, killed and tossed aside by abortion doctors I want to scream. First, that seldom if ever happens. Second, doctors who perform abortions are not monsters, they are serious professionals who want to provide healthcare. Third, where is the compassion for the women who find themselves in overwhelming and often dangerous and always painful situations?

2. What did you recently finish reading? Living the Beatles Legend: The Untold Story of Mal Evans by Kenneth Womack.  Mal Evans was with the Beatles from their days at The Cavern all the way to their "Get Back/Let It Be" rooftop concert on Savile Row, and even beyond. He had a story to tell, and unfortunately died before he could share it with us fans. His son worked with rock historian Kenneth Womack to get it to us.

There was a lot in this book I found interesting. However, not 580 pages' worth. This tome could have used a good editor. Once the Beatles stopped touring, once they started Apple Corps., the book got way less interesting because I didn't find the intricacies of he music business skullduggery that interesting (particularly because it seldom had anything to do with John, Paul, George or Ringo). I'd say this book is for superfans, except I'm a superfan and I liked it but didn't love it.

 

3. What will you read next? Don't know.

 

*I am personally opposed to abortion. My faith should not be the law of the land, because legislating one religion over another is unpatriotic. I've spoken to friends who are Jewish and agnostic and 100% respect their points of view, and whoever you are reading this, I respect yours, too. Just as I'd never force a woman to have an abortion, I wouldn't presume to forbid her, either. Because as a proud American looking forward to July 4, I respect the separation between church and state.

 

 

Teaser Tuesday

 

Here's how to play.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)

Living the Beatles Legend: The Untold Story of Mal Evans by Kenneth Womack. This book was compiled using the diaries of the late Mal Evans, the Beatles confidante, bodyguard and roadie beginning with their early days at the Cavern Club.

By 1967, the Beatles had stopped touring so his job as "tour manager" had morphed into something else. Mal was an executive at Apple Corps, but he felt he was becoming marginalized by his beloved Beatles. He was drinking and drugging more, his marriage was in trouble, and he was self-reflective in his diary.

"Fear is knowing the right answer," he observed, "while hoping it's the wrong answer." But it also occurred to him that the concept of fear might be something even more problematic, that "fear is not even knowing the right answer." Had his moral compass become so broken that it was too late to reorder his misplaced priorities?