But we don't have a relationship!

My icky neighbor still isn't getting the hint. He's forcing me to be mean, and I really resent it.

But then, I resent everything about this situation.

It started back in May, when 90-year-old Walt rapped on my door. I wasn't prepared for company and tried to talk to him through the chain but he insisted on coming in. He had a "problem" he just couldn't discuss in the hall. So, even though I was in my robe, I let him in. Remember, I was covered to my ankles in flannel. Turns out his "problem" was his cable bill. The intro period was over and Comcast jacked up his rate. He took this opportunity -- being alone with me in my apartment -- to tell me I'm "sexy." I handed him the bill back and told him we were done and he should be on his way.

He slipped a note under my door, telling me he was sorry and taking responsibility for the incident. I thought it was over.

Then in June, it happened again. It was early, early morning. Someone was leaning on my doorbell. The intercom's broken so I had to grab my long flannel robe and my Crocs (close your eyes and picture that ensemble) to see who it was. Turns out another neighbor's daughter couldn't reach her mother and tried my bell instead. Anyway, I ran into Pervy Walt in the hall. Who then slipped another note under my door, telling me how he dreams of kissing me ... that at first I resist and then I give in. I returned the note to him, writing: THIS IS UNWELCOME! PLEASE STOP!

Every time I saw him after that I either avoided eye contact or glared. He apologized. I thought it was over.

Then last week, on Monday, he left me a note saying he was going out of town until Friday and wanted me to pick up his newspaper. He believes that if he puts his paper on vacation hold, "they" will know he's out of town and he'll be a vulnerable to a break-in. AARGH!

Now, I try to be compassionate and decent and Christian. He's 90 and alone. I suppose picking up his paper costs me nothing. It made me uncomfortable for two reasons:

1) I don't think it's wise to have anything to do with the old perv and
2) He didn't show me the courtesy of asking me.

But what the hell. Tuesday and Wednesday, I picked up his papers. When I got home Monday afternoon, I saw there were more down there and put them in front of his door, too. I thought maybe I misunderstood his note.

No. This morning, another note from Walt. A long one. He had been in Ohio ... he was supposed to come home Friday but spent four days in the ER ...  just got home now ... wonders what happened to his Thursday paper.

Now clearly I'm supposed to ask him how he's doing. That's not a good idea. Because WE DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP!

I just put the note back by his door with the response, "I was out of town myself this past weekend but did what I could to retrieve your papers."

I should be able to relax in my own home, but every time I open the front door, I'm expecting another Walt-o-Gram.

I'm on vacation, watching baseball. I want to be able to shout encouragement to my heroes in Cubbie Blue without worrying that someone is in the hall, listening.

I want to be left alone.

And all I have done to deserve this is treat an elderly gentleman with respect. That'll teach me.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 16

Look at my happy kitty

Tuesday's happiness: A long walk. The last day of my vacation. Sigh. It was sunny and humid but not too hot, so I took a nice long (1.3 mi) walk across town to the vet to pick up some kibble for Reynaldo and Connie.

It was lovely to wander across town with the Cubs-Brewers game in my headphones. And it was nice to take the time to notice my neighborhood. I'm really very happy here because it's so diverse and so lively.

My favorite sight seen: an energetic game of duck-duck-goose played by day campers at the community center. Do you suppose the counselor knew how drop-dead attractive he was, allowing himself to be chased and nearly caught by a little boy whose Batman cape trailed behind him?

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

If you want to play along, just come back here (meaning to this blog, not this individual post) each day in August, looking for the happy cat. Every day I will try to have a post with the headline: August Happiness Challenge: Day [X]. Leave a comment and then post your own daily happiness, with August Happiness Challenge in the title to make it easy to find. 

See you in September

Joe Nathan signed with the Giants. He's now on their minor league roster.

I'm going to the Cubs-Giants game on Saturday, September 3. If he's on the major league roster by then, and he enters the game, I promise I will cheer him.

He's 41, and he refuses to allow himself to be sidelined. I admire that.

You go, Joe!

The Queen's Meme

I'm staying sharp by answering meme questions I had nothing whatsoever to do with! I got this one here.

Not the best choice, but currently the only choice.

1. Who should run for United States President in 2016?

Oh, shut up. It's now a binary choice. Him or her. Hillary or The Donald. I'm so sick of hearing about how voting third party doesn't help Trump. It does. Just like Nader helped Bush and Wallace helped Nixon. Math is math, boys and girls.

So grow up. Bernie lost. It happens in a democracy. To borrow from my aunt, you're not going to be the bride at every wedding, and your candidate is not going to win every primary. Suck it up. Vote Clinton this time, and work harder for your candidate next time.

2. Have you ever gone to a party and snooped in the medicine cabinet?

No. Lest you think I'm virtuous, let me share this story. My boyfriend and I were staying with his kid sister at her house. Looking for floss in her bathroom, I found KY lubricant. Lots of KY lubricant. In both a tube and suppositories! I've never seen so much KY in my life. 

So I ran out and found my boyfriend and dragged him by the elbow into the bathroom. "Look at all this KY! What do you suppose she's into that she needs all this lube?"

He was appalled, and rightly so. "She's my sister, Gal!"

I'm a terrible person.

3. Why are Happy Meals Happy?

Because McDonald's is the nation's second largest employer, right after Walmart. Well over one million people are supported by the Golden Arches. We can complain about how both McDonald's and Walmart are run -- and we should, because they can improve the way they treat both employees and customers alike. But McDonald's is important to the economic engine that runs this country, and wishing it would just go away and be replaced by Freshii is naive and terribly short sighted.

4. Have you ever done the Hokey Pokey?

Between Girl Scouts and weddings, yes. I have turned myself around many a time. 

5. What song sticks in your head and drives you crazy?

Because of this question, it's now "She Drives Me Crazy." And I can't help myself!

6. Do you dance like a  lunatic around the house when no one is looking?

Yes. But I suspect I dance like a lunatic when people are watching, too, because I am tragically uncoordinated.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 15

Look at my happy kitty

Monday's happiness: Breakfast with a book. My friend returned to Los Angeles very early Monday and I had the hotel room till noon.

Before I checked out, I took my time and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast at the hotel buffet. Oatmeal, scrambled eggs, bacon, and a muffin. Orange juice and hot tea.*

And my book. It was bliss!

*Why are big hotels always so cold?

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

If you want to play along, just come back here (meaning to this blog, not this individual post) each day in August, looking for the happy cat. Every day I will try to have a post with the headline: August Happiness Challenge: Day [X]. Leave a comment and then post your own daily happiness, with August Happiness Challenge in the title to make it easy to find. 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 14

Look at my happy kitty

Sunday's happiness: Terri Hemmert. She's a Chicago radio legend. We Beatle fans know her as "Auntie Terri" from her Sunday morning show, Breakfast with the Beatles. In addition to her gig on WXRT, she has emcee'd the Fest for Beatle Fans since it's inception ... in 1974!

I wasn't sure she'd be at this year's fest. In January she had cancer surgery. Last month she had back surgery. She has to be knocking on 70, and being carved up like this has to take its toll.

But she was there. Sometimes in a motorized wheel chair, sometimes with a cane. But she was there. It was great to listen to her interview Klaus Voorman, the musician and artist who became a member of the Beatles' inner circle back in Hamburg. He won a Grammy for his design of the Revolver album 50 years ago and he's known for his bass playing. (That's him strumming those first chords you know from "You're So Vain.") Because Terri is a fan, she brought enthusiasm to the conversation. Because she's a pro, she drew Klaus out and we learned a lot.

Stay well, Auntie Terri!

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

If you want to play along, just come back here (meaning to this blog, not this individual post) each day in August, looking for the happy cat. Every day I will try to have a post with the headline: August Happiness Challenge: Day [X]. Leave a comment and then post your own daily happiness, with August Happiness Challenge in the title to make it easy to find. 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 13

Look at my happy kitty

Saturday's happiness: The Beatles. My oldest friend and I celebrated her 60th birthday at The Fest for Beatle Fans. It's what she wanted. 

I offered her three things -- I'd go out there for a long weekend of book loving at the Los Angeles Festival of Books; she could come here for the three-day Fest for Beatle Fans; I could go out there and we'd tour movie locations with TCM. 

She chose the Beatles. Even though I didn't have to fly out there, it was the most expensive option because I comped her airfare, hotel and tickets. Otherwise she wouldn't have been able to come. (Trouble with the IRS, an increase in her rent, her car literally caught on fire and was  a total loss ... ) She really needed to get away, to be happy, especially as she approaches one of those landmark birthdays that makes you evaluate your life. So while I suppose I couldn't afford to do this for her, I'm glad I did it anyway.

I needed it, too. For I love the Lads from Liverpool so much. We listened to Beatle lectures, shopped the Beatles marketplace, and watched Beatle videos. Hearing them play their own music, seeing their charm and joie de vivre, just lifted my heart. 

Here's a favorite. This was from 1965 and it was terrific to see it on the big screen. How I laughed at it when I was a little Gal. Now that I know it's from A Midsummer Night's Dream, I enjoy it even more.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

If you want to play along, just come back here (meaning to this blog, not this individual post) each day in August, looking for the happy cat. Every day I will try to have a post with the headline: August Happiness Challenge: Day [X]. Leave a comment and then post your own daily happiness, with August Happiness Challenge in the title to make it easy to find. 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 12

Look at my happy kitty

Friday's happiness: laughter. My oldest friend arrived Thursday at about midnight and we stayed up till 3:00 AM, catching up and laughing.

We picked up where we left off Friday, laughing even more. My friend since Kindergarten, there's almost no one left on earth who has known me longer. She knows my history and many of my secrets. And oh, how she can make me laugh!

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

If you want to play along, just come back here (meaning to this blog, not this individual post) each day in August, looking for the happy cat. Every day I will try to have a post with the headline: August Happiness Challenge: Day [X]. Leave a comment and then post your own daily happiness, with August Happiness Challenge in the title to make it easy to find.