This is why I like reading biographies. I always learn something, even if it's not what I expected. For example, I now know Johnny Carson had a lot in common with my Cousin Rose.
No, she doesn't smoke or drink. She's not a night owl and she doesn't have a quick wit. He was not a good Catholic who never missed mass, nor was he fascinated by her passion, genealogy.
But they both suffered through bitter divorces, and were permanently damaged by the experience. This passage, from the biography Johnny Carson by Henry Bushkin, has stayed with me since I read it four months ago because it reminds me of Rose:
"Johnny changed during the divorce proceedings, and I don't know if he ever entirely changed back … stormy moments came more frequently, and there was an overall harshness, an impatient intolerance that wasn't there before."
Rose waited a long time to marry and it ended horribly. It's left her sharp-tongued, with her temper always close to the surface. It's what Bushkin saw in Johnny, "an overall harshness" and intolerance.
As hard as it can be to be around her, I imagine that it's harder to be her. I must remember that and stay compassionate.
These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Friday, March 14, 2014
March Challenge -- Day 14
This
one kinda hurts, since I'm not taking a spa getaway this year. For this
first time since Bill Clinton was in office, I'm not escaping, all by
myself, for seclusion and pampering. Instead I'm taking the
money that would go to that and putting it into my bathroom. Yea, me! I'm so mature.
Look closely! She's in a bathrobe! I love this place. |
Then why am I so wistful?
I wish I was at Chateau Elan,
a destination spa outside of Atlanta. I'd stay in one of the guest
suites, right on the spa premises, so I could go days without wearing
anything but a bathrobe. Of course, the grounds are beautiful -- there's
a winery right there -- so when I'm not being massaged or exfoliated,
when I'm not dining on gourmet fare or getting make up tips, when I'm
reading and relaxing in my suite, I can go wandering. Sigh.
I've
been spa-ing Hot Springs and Colonial Williamsburg, and they were
beautiful, but if money is no object, Chateau Elan is the happy place I
send my mind to.
Play the March Challenge along with Kwizgiver.