Now this is important to know!

Everyone should be able to identify their inner Brady!

I Am Jan Brady

Brainy and a little introverted, I tend to think life is a lot worse than it actually is. And while I may think I'm a little goofy looking, most people consider me to be a major babe.

What Brady Are You?

Oh, there are two Americas, all right!

Last night I watched the Republican Debate. I felt it was part of my duty as a good, grown-up, patriotic American … even if it meant cutting into my time with McDreamy.

The debate took place at the Reagan Library, and all ten candidates kept trying to position themselves as Reagan's rightful heir. OK. I'm told that the Reagan Era is to conservatives what Camelot is to liberals. I can understand that.

The part that I didn't understand at all was the way the candidates all reacted when Chris Matthews asked if it would be a good thing for America if Bill Clinton was back in the White House.

They all laughed! LAUGHED! Falling over one another to be tied to Reagan's legacy and laughing at Bill Clinton? I felt as though I had fallen into an alternative universe.

I never hated Ronald Reagan. His administration just left me feeling sad about my country. It seemed that if you weren't a rich white guy, the Reagan Administration had no interest in helping you improve your lot in life. The topics that matter/mattered to me as a woman were an anathema to those folks. My friends of color, as well as my gay friends, felt completely invisible to the Reaganites. Bush 41 seemed like an extension of that.

Then along came Bill. Like in a Warner Brothers cartoon, music played, the clouds broke, the sun came out, the little woodland creatures re-emerged and life was good again. We all felt we had a place at the table. We could be trusted to make choices about OUR OWN BODIES. Guns shouldn't be standard issue. AIDS was a health problem, not a punishment from God against homosexuals. Bill Clinton seemed like he was interested in being everyone's President.

We miss him. And no matter how we feel about Hillary, we certainly would never LAUGH at the prospect of having him back in the White House.

So John Edwards is right after all. There really are two Americas. I saw that so clearly last night.

My life as Lucy

Every now and again I do something so stupid that I feel like I'm channeling Lucy Riccardo. This morning brought such a moment.

I am trying to be a little greener. This morning, when I went to the kitchen for some paper towels to use in the bathroom as I refreshed/reNaired my bikini line, I tore a couple off the roll and then grabbed the paper napkins that came with last night's carryout. Why waste them? Why not use them?

So I'm sitting on the side of the tub tending to my nether region and listening to the oldies station. Two thoughts occurred to me -- Michelle Phillips is the only surviving member of the Mamas and the Papas, and I can't recall how long I've had the Nair there. Has it been four minutes yet? Has it been less than ten minutes? I truly don't know. The tube warns that very bad things will happen if I leave the Nair on too long.

Deciding that I don't want to risk possible pain down there, I grab a paper napkin and begin wiping away the cream. I look at the napkin and see little dots of orange. ORANGE! Oh … my … God! What have I done to myself? Where could the orange be coming from?

Last night's dinner was cheese pizza. I'm such an idiot.